Chapter Text
Six stared blankly at her reflection, sighing. She opened the faucet and splashed water on her face.
“Just a few more hours…” She told herself.
She looked back at her reflection, that was glaring back at her. She turned around now and left the bathroom. She looked down the hallway of her school, dreading going back to class, but it had already been over five minutes, if she kept this up every day, the teacher was bound to grow suspicious. She opened the door of her classroom, she ignored the glances and avoided eye contact contact with teacher, before sitting in her seat.
Her seat was against the wall, in front of her sat one of her only friends, Verity.
Verity was kind, and thoughtful. She had a soft round face, and soft doe like eyes. Her brown hair was in a long braid, tied at the end with a red bow. She was the complete opposite of Six.
She was so… likeable. So bright and cheerful.
Maybe that’s why Six was so jealous of her. She had everything Six didn’t have. Parents who cared about her, good grades, pretty face, and a likeable personality.
The sound of clicking snapped her away from her thoughts. She didn’t need to look to know who it was, it was directly behind her.
Mono was clicking his pen, God knows why. She hated whenever he started tapping his foot, or pencil, or clicking his pen. It was annoying.
She only knew his name because of Verity, some project she had with him in another class. He was helpful, according to her. Just 'a bit shy and socially awkward,' she had called him.
She laid her head on her desk. How was she supposed to sleep in these conditions?
Click, click, click
She shut her eyes tight and gritted her teeth.
Shut up, shut up, shut up!
If she could, she would grab that stupid pen and-
She tried to shove those thoughts out of her head. Instead she tried counting down the time until the bell rang for lunch.
5,255,
5,256,
5,257
5,258-
“Six? Earth to Six? Are you there?”
Six looked up at Verity and sat up.
“Lunchtime?” She asked.
Verity smiled and nodded, “Come on, Seven’s probably waiting for us by now.” She said, grabbing Six’s hand.
SIx followed her, wondering what she packed for lunch for Six.
Six couldn’t afford buying herself lunch from the school, and couldn’t cook to save her life. Her diet consisted of instant ramen and ready-to-heat meals.
Verity always brought home-cooked meals, which was the only thing Six really looked forward to each day.
She drained out most of Verity’s and Seven’s conversation, enjoying every bite of her meal. When there was nothing left, Six scraped the sides for any leftovers.
“What about you Six?” Verity said all of a sudden.
Six looked up, seeing both Verity and Seven’s eyes were on her.
“What?” She asked, glancing at them back and forth.
“What do you plan to do after high school?” Seven said.
Six shrugged. “Dunno.”
Six really didn’t have any plans. Unlike her, Verity and Seven already knew what they wanted to do. Verity wanted to be a nurse, to help those in need, and Seven wanted to be a teacher, specifically for those who had a hearing impairment. She really had no interest in any of that, it was too boring, too time-consuming
“You need to start looking into different things, Six. Times ticking.” Seven said
She glared at him, making him shift in his seat.
“Six still has a lot of time to think about what she wants to do, its a hard decision to make.” Verity reassured. “I’m still not 100% sure I want to be a nurse, I still have other things in mind too.” Verity explained.
Seven smiled softly at her and nodded, making Six roll her eyes.
Sure, Verity was smart, but she was completely oblivious to Seven’s feelings, when it was so painfully obvious. He would follow her around like a lovesick puppy, and worship the ground she walked on. It was disgusting.
Maybe she was overreacting, but she still hated seeing how they acted together.
She stood up from her seat.
“Six? Are you going somewhere?” Verity asked.
“Clearly.” Six replied, and walked away, ignoring their looks.
She hated them, she hated them, she hated them so much.
No she didn’t. She hated herself.
It’s their fault.
She wanted them to die.
No she didn’t.
Her shoulder bumped into someone else’s, making her stop.
“Watch where you’re going, will you?” She spat without thinking now.
Her eyes found Mono’s now, he didn't seem to have heard her, instead picking something he must've dropped on the ground.
He stood up, maybe to confront her. She had to look up at him to meet his gaze.
He turned away now, not saying a word.
She didn’t realize she had been digging her nails into her palms. She loosened her hands now, she was shaking.
She found it so easy to find new people to hate every day.
She hated her father, she hated her mother, she hated her teacher, and her friends. She hated herself.
She hated this school.
She went outside, walking past groups of people until she was at the back of the school, alone. She knelt down on the ground and slid off her backpack, taking out a small bag of cat treats.
“Psh, Psh, Psh, here kitty, kitty…” She called.
She waited a few minutes before calling again, and waited.
Something black and covered in fur came out of the bushes.
“Meow?”
She took out a small treat, offering it to the cat, who came closer, sniffing her hand before taking it.
The cat only had one eye open, the other was shut, and had a scar over it. Six assumed it was from a cat fight. She continued to feed it a bit longer before putting the bag away. She needed to save for tomorrow too.
The cat stretched, before laying directly next to her. There was still about an inch of space between them, which she was okay with. She had only known that cat for a few months now. She would love to take the cat home, but she couldn’t have cats, nor afford them. She could barely afford to feed the stray.
The bell rung, but she didn’t want to go yet. She looked towards the cat, who had already got up to stretch, before running away, leaving Six alone once again.
Six sighed, getting up and dusting her clothes off. Just a bit longer, and she could finally go home.
She made her way to class, just barely making it. She couldn’t afford getting marked late, her father would receive a call. Even if he was out of town, he knew exactly how she was doing at school.
She slept through her next classes with ease, but she woke up extremely groggy after her last class. The bell had rung, and everyone was grabbing their things and making their way home, but she was still rubbing the sleep off her eyes.
She grabbed her bag and threw it over her shoulder, and made her way out of the school. Her apartment was about fifteen minutes from the school by foot. She didn’t mind though, she used to walk longer back in elementary, back when she still lived with her father.
He was still her legal guardian, but now she lived here since her old town didn’t have a highschool.
He came by about once a month, if he remembered to check on her, and sent her a weekly allowance for food, and paid water and electricity bills, it still shocked her how he was willing to do that.
Although sometimes he would forget to pay the phone bill, or send her allowance, she was still grateful. It didn’t mean she hated him any less though.
Sometimes he’d call her, ask her how’s she’s doing, as if he actually cared. But she knew better than to believe his words. It was easier to hate him than to believe his words and be hurt every time he messed up. Hating was a lot easier than forgiving. Because she couldn't forget.
On the bright side, he treated her better when they were apart than when they lived together.
She threw her bag across the room, opening the fridge and scanning the contents, until she decided a mac and cheese dinner would be sufficient. She grabbed the meal, peeling off the plastic cover from the top before shoving the food into the microwave. She grabbed her school laptop, before playing music to pass the 2 minutes left for her food.
Once she heard the familiar ding! She got grabbed a fork and a soda, then her food before plopping down on her bed. She paused her music before looking for a true crime video she hadn’t already seen, before playing it. She ate her food contently.
She didn’t realize how much time had passed by, but suddenly it was midnight, and no homework had been done that day, nor anything productive for that matter. She grabbed the bottle of melatonin that was on her bedside, before taking five, one by one.
She really liked how they tasted.
She closed her laptop and pulled the covers over herself and closed her eyes, waiting for sleep to take her.
“Time’s ticking,” Seven’s words rang in her head now, and she covered her ears with a pillow. Why was she remembering that now? She knew he had a point, but she didn’t want to hear that from him.
She really didn’t care to become a doctor, or a teacher, or get an office job like on tv. She wasn’t interested in any of that.
There was something though. Something she did have some interest in.
She wanted to work in her mother’s restaurant one day, she wanted to own the restaurant like her mother, and learn her recipes, and make her own.
But unlike her mother, Six was awful at cooking. She needed to practice more and experiment more, but she was terrified of the end result.
…
She woke up in a cold sweat. She threw her covers off her body and tried to recollect herself. She had another bad dream but couldn’t remember it.
She sat up, checking the time on her phone, realizing she still had about an hour before school started. She usually got up about twenty minutes before class started, but she might as well start getting ready now.
She put on her school uniform under her cardigan and grabbed half a bag of chips to eat on the way.
As she approached the school gates, she heard the familiar meows of her favorite cat. She looked around, but they were no where to be seen. She followed the sound carefully, it was around the back of the school, near the dumpsters. She peeked through a corner now, eyes widening when she saw someone she didn’t expect.
Mono.
He was crouched down, hand beckoning the cat closer with a handful of treats.
She balled her hands into fists. She didn’t think it was fair. It was her cat after all, sure, she didn't own it, and she only fed it when she came to school, but it was her cat…
It was finally then when the cat noticed her, perking its head up to look at her, it’s attention completely off Mono now. Then Mono turned his head, locking eyes with her.
She clenched her bag now before quickly retreating into the school as quick as she can.
She rushed inside a bathroom before locking herself into a stall. She sat on the ground now, holding her bag close to her chest. She hated this school, she hated the people, and-
She took in a shaky breath as she tried to control her thoughts. She was upset for no valid reason, she knew that, but she still couldn’t get over the fact that someone she really hated had a connection with something she really loved.
She made sure to get to class in time, ignoring her surroundings, and the teacher's voice, and instead only focused on the back of Verity’s head.
She wished she could be like her, she wished she could be happy like Verity was.
It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair.
…
“Verity…?” Six asked.
Verity looked up from her textbook, which she had been using to try to help Six study for the upcoming test.
“Yes?” She asked.
“How do you do it?” Six asked, looking away from the book now and looked up at the sky. They were on the rooftop for lunch today.
“Do… geometry?” Verity asked, confused.
“No,” Six said annoyed. “How do you… do this whole… thing. With you. How are you always so happy. How do you do it? How are you so nice?” She asked.
Verity looked worried. “Six…? What do you mean…?”
Six sighed and brought her knees up to her chest.
“I just want to… be more like you for a change. I want to be happy like you are.” Six explained, looking away.
It was easy to talk to Verity. Easy to talk about her feelings, even the bad feelings she kept bottled up. Somehow, Verity never hated her, or liked her any less. Verity was like… a mother- or at least what Six thought a mother should act like.
Six felt a gentle hand place itself on her arm gently.
"Its up to you to choose your happiness. You have to learn to love yourself first." Verity explained, rubbing Six's arm.
"Do you love yourself?" Six asked.
Somehow, "loving yourself" seemed really self centered. But it didnt seem the same as being selfish. Six was selfish, and definitely only cared about herself when it came to most things- but she still hated herself. How were you supposed to love yourself?
"I do. Once you love yourself you fall in love with everything, and everyone else. Helping others is something that makes me happy, and being able to see someones smile. Happiness is contagious." She explained.
"I dont know how to help people." Six replied.
"Its easy, Six. It can be as simple as opening the door for someone, to complimenting their hair, to being there for them when they're down."
"I don't like… Any of that. Its easy for you, you're pretty and likeable."
"Its not always like that…"
Six ignored her, playing with the buttons of her cardigan instead.
Soon the bell rang, sending them to head back to class.
Sitting in her desk, Six opened her bag to take out her textbook. She didnt see it immediately, so she had to dig deeper into her backpack. When she still couldn't find it, she began to take out her things in efforts to find it, but it wasn't there…
"Alright everyone, turn to page 349 please. We're going to be reviewing this week for Friday's test." The teacher explained.
Where did she leave that book???
She looked around, seeing everyone turn to the right page, all except her.
She heard the teacher's footsteps as the teacher approached.
"Where is your book?" She asked seriously.
Where was her book?
Thats when it hit her. She forgot it on the rooftop.
"At home again? Young lady I hope you know I dock points for failure of being prepared in my class."
"Miss? Is it alright if Six and I share-" the teacher slammed her ruler on Six's desk, cutting Verity off.
Verity kept her mouth shut instead.
"I have it…" Six replied, gripping the hem of her skirt. “It’s on the rooftop. I can go get it right now.
The older woman sighed in annoyance. “Go, be quick."
Six stood up, leaving the classroom. She made her way up the stairs, her hands balled into fists.
She hated that teacher so much. It would be great if she just disappeared. Six's hand found the handle to the door of the roof, and she contemplated whether or not this was really worth it. The teacher had already humiliated her, why not just leave the school altogether?
But she didn't want a call to be made to her father if she missed another day. The grading period was almost over, she just needed to hold on a little longer.
She opened the door now, but she was too shocked to step in right away. She saw a figure standing on top of the edge, looking ready to jump.
She cursed mentally, she just wanted to get her math book, not deal with seeing someone kill themselves.
When she looked closer she recognized them as Mono, which only left her feeling a bit better about the situation, at least now she didn't have to hear him continuously click his pen away.
If she was quiet enough, maybe he wouldnt notice her. She quietly went to the bench where she and Verity had been sitting and sure enough there was her book. She picked it up, glancing over at the boy making sure he hadn't seen her yet. She held her book close now as she made her way towards the door, but a voice in her head suddenly stopped her.
"Helping others is something that makes me happy," Verity's words echoed in her mind.
She shook them away. She didn't know how to help people.
"Its easy, Six. It can be as simple as opening the door for someone, to complimenting their hair, to being there for them when they're down."
Six felt frozen in place. Could she really be happy by helping someone? Then she really began to think about what Verity would do in her shoes.
She'd scream out, "Don't do it!" And save a life. She'd comfort them and hold them and tell them how much their life mattered, all that sappy crap.
But Six wanted to be like Verity, and if doing that made Verity happy then-
"Stop!" Despite her previous thoughts, she screamed.
Startled, Mono turned his head to look at her now, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. A part of him knew he shouldn't have taken so long to just make the jump, he hadn't even noticed the girl come in.
"Leave me alone, will you?" He spoke tiredly.
"Don't do this. It's not worth it." She said.
Like he hadn't heard those words before. He was tired of them.
"How would you know?" He hissed, looking ahead.
He sounded harsh, and cold but he didnt mean to be, if anything he had always been a nervous wreck, and socially awkward too. That's why he had no friends, that's why everyone left him. He had no one, nothing to live for. He was alone and was tired of the pain and torment that came from being alone.
If he was going to be alone for the rest of his life then he might as well end the suffering early.
"You think you're alone, but you're not."
He felt his heart race, he knew it was just a coincidence she said that and that she hadn't read his mind, but it still hurt to hear that. He looked away from her, tears welling up in his eyes as he stared ahead at the fate that he wanted for himself so bad, and now this girl was here to ruin it.
"You know nothing, no one will care when I'm gone, no one ever has."
Six wasn't sure what to do at this point. She said the most basic things she could think of. What else did he want her to say? What would Verity say?
"I-I'll care," The lie felt like venom on her tongue.
But it was something Verity would say.
His head snapped towards her, looking at her with wide desperate eyes.
"Why would you? You don't know me."
She stepped forward, feeling at loss for breath.
He seemed more interested in what she jad to say.
It seemed lying worked on him.
"I would care, Mono. I want to be friends, but we won't be able to if you leave. Please don't do this,"
Lies, Lies, Lies.
His face softened as tears streamed down his cheeks.
"No… you don't mean that. You'll just leave, like everyone else."
God why couldn't he just be satisfied with what she already told him?
"That's not true Mono. I won't leave you." Those words tasted awful.
She stepped forward more, extending a hand out to him.
Now she wished she could jump off this building now, she felt awful.
She wasn't guilty about lying to him, no, she just didn't feel the "happy" feeling that she was expecting out of helping someone.
He glanced between her face and her hand, distressed and not knowing what to do.
"Promise?" He spoke quietly.
She held back a grimace before nodding, not having the strength to say it aloud.
He grasped her hand now, stepping down for the edge.
She was done, but the feeling of happiness wasn't there. If anything she felt exhausted and irritated.
She expected him to let go of her hand, that way she could get back to class. She glanced towards the bench where she had left her book again to help this boy.
Suddenly his arms wrapped around her, locking her in an embrace.
Right, Verity would also comfort him like this.
She rolled her eyes at the pathetic situation she was in before wrapping her arms around the boy. She felt gross at the physical contact. She didn't like it, even with her two closest friends, she would very rarely accept a hug from Verity, and it would be on her own terms. Seven understood her boundaries so he knew she wouldn't accept, especially not from him.
She felt crushed between his arms as he cried into her shoulder. After a minute they were on the ground now, still in an uncomfortable embrace. How much longer until this was over? She needed to get back to class and so did he.
They rocked back and forth slowly and his hands grasped her cardigan almost as if checking if she was still really here.
"I think thats enough." She said, trying to gently push him away, holding herself back from kicking him.
He seemed hurt from that, but she tried her best to look calm.
"We should get back to class, or we'll both get in trouble." She warned, getting up.
She went over to the bench and grabbed her math book. She felt him grab her hand now and she held back the urge of pulling away.
Once they got back to class she could forget this ever happened and ignore him. Whatever he decided to do after was not her problem.
"I'm sorry for worrying you, Six." She was surprised he knew her name.
"Just dont do it again." She replied.
He smiled and nodded. "I promise." He said, so sincerely that she wanted to push him away.
Hopefully this facade would end soon, he seemed like a nuisance.