Chapter Text
Takes place post season 4 volume 1.
Robin Buckley always thought of herself as an optimist.
Whenever she compared herself to Steve, her pessimistic friend with the dry sense of humor and certainty that he was doomed to work at Family Video for the rest of his life, it was easy for Robin to mistake herself as a generally positive person. Because unlike her best friend, Robin was eccentric, attentive, and she had aspirations. Aspirations like her desire to flee Hawkins someday, travel the country with the girl of her dreams (though she would be fine with Steve tagging along), and then after some time, live in a big city like LA or New York. Though she was sure it would never happen, it was nice to dream, right?
Robin was also extremely passionate about, well, everything. From movies, to facts about sun bears, to underground musicians that felt inherently queer. The blonde could spend hours upon hours just rambling about those topics and discussing facts that not a lot of people knew or cared about. So because Robin wasn't some quiet girl, when she didn't come across as reserved (despite never opening up about her home life or general wellbeing), it was easy for someone to look, point and label her as a happy person. And for a while, Robin believed it, too.
That was, until the whole Vecna thing ended.
It was all anticlimactic, really. El had swooped in to save the day and suddenly all of the fighting, all of the research on the history of the Creels and the hunt to figure out Vecna's motives and who he was, became... Obsolete. Because of course that's how it would go. Of course all they needed was El to be save the day. And the funniest part? After all of that desperate fighting to survive past senior year? After the near-death experiences, and trauma, and mental distortion? The group was expected to carry on their lives like normal. The least the US Government could do was pull some strings and allow the teens some extra time off of school, but nope, they just had the whole "don't tell anyone" talk and left the damaged teens to fend for themselves.
The younger ones were hurt, of course. But they had gone through this thing before, and for the most part, they were able to pretend everything was okay. It was crazy how a couple of fifteen-sixteen year old's could brush it all off like some miniscule, unimportant thing that just happens. Will and El had returned to California, Max finally regrouped with her friends (despite refusing to join Hellfire), and that was that. Steve tried to distract himself with girls and shitty movies and working at Family Video, but there were still nights he would break down and Robin would be there to reassure him.
Nancy closed herself off from the group once again. It was kind of shitty, if Robin were to be completely honest. She had grown fond of the brunette with the ability to surprise Robin time and time again, and for once she convinced herself that they could get past the Vecna situation and remain friends. However, things didn't seem to go Robins way once it was all over.
Robin, ever-the-optimist, was starting to realize just how wrong she was. Just how wrong everyone else was, who had assumed she was a happy, bubbly person. She was starting to understand just how pessimistic and negative she could be. And it was all because of that asshole tentacle monster, or whatever the fuck Vecna was. Robin still rambled on and on about her interests, but the pain and cuts remained, a constant reminder that just because it was over, it wasn't over. Not for her, at least.
She still had nightmares about the Upside Down. About being strangled by thick black tendrils that grabbed her out of nowhere. The bruises on her torso and wrists might’ve faded, but the scar on her neck still lingered.
But Robin didn't go through the worst of it, so she kept her mouth shut and put on a smile. Practiced smiles and forced laughter, the two defining features of an optimist, right?
"You know you literally graduate in a few months, Robin. You do know that, don't you? I think it's time you get a damn license." Steve announced the second Robin threw her bag in the back and plopped down in the passenger seat of her friends car.
"You seem to forget one crucial, and I mean crucial detail that hinders me from doing so, Harrington." Robin quipped, biting back a smile as she buckled herself in for what she knew would be a bumpy ride.
"What?"
"I'm poor, dingus!"
Steve huffed out a short laugh, more so sarcastic than genuine, as he pulled away from the Buckleys trailer. Robin didn't waste a second to pull down the sun visor on her side, staring at herself in the tiny mirror. She tried to ignore the eyebags and the goddamn scar, instead fixing her dishelved hair before having to step into the hell hole that was Hawkins High. Funny, she could spend a day in the Upside Down, but couldn't handle a few hours at school.
"Maybe if you spent your hard-earned money on getting a license instead of buying junk food and VHS tapes," Steve paused to roll his eyes and push the sun visor back up, annoyed that his friend was trying to ignore his remarks, "then you would be able to drive. But no, collecting every possible copy of every existing horror movie is more important to you."
"Don't shit on Carrie again, dude! That movie is brilliant! Plus, if I got myself a license, who would possibly entertain you with their amazing jokes and bright personality?" Robin wore a shit-eating grin when Steve opened his mouth to shoot back, but couldn't think of anything. The girl barked out a laugh before reaching in her pocket and pulling out a cassette tape, showing it off to Steve with pleading eyes.
"God, that song again, Rob? I swear I'm gonna get an infinite headache if I hear it again." Despite his tone, the teasing smile etched onto his face was something he wasn't able to hide, and Robin took this as her chance to slide the tape into the car. The familiar guitar opening filled their awaiting ears, and though he would never admit it, Steve felt his fingers absentmindedly drumming against the steering wheel.
"When you wake up one day and realize just how great Blister In The Sun is, I'll be waiting there with open arms and snarky remarks."
And that's where the conversation ended, as per usual. Every morning was the same; Robin would get in the car, the pair would tease each other about nonsensical bullshit, and then Robin would slyly convince her friend to let her play Violent Femmes or Blondie, and then the rest of the ride simply consisted of music and random comments they blurted out if and when something came to their minds.
It was a routine Robin had grown dependent on since Vecna. The blonde knew her mom wasn’t reliable, and that the younger teens in the Hawkins group were just, well, kids. And she apparently couldn’t confide in Nancy anymore, since they hadn’t exchanged a single word to one another in just under two weeks now. So, naturally, Robin gravitated towards her only friend, and she couldn’t really complain. They understood each other in almost every way. They had a bond that allowed them to be their complete selves around each other.
Without Steve, Robin didn’t think she could navigate any of this.
”Alright hotshot, you better not take forever when I pick you up.” Steve poked Robins temple when he spoke, causing the girl to slap his hand away and roll her eyes.
”I won’t, dingus, stop your whining.” Robin ignored Steve’s exasperated gasp when he feigned offense, and instead reached to the back to grab her bag before stepping out of the car. She shut the door and turned on her heel, before swishing back around, giving Steve no time to drive off.
”Thanks again for taking me every day, really. Everything still kinda hurts, yknow, and riding a bike would… Just- uh, thanks.” Robins upper half was practically hanging inside of the car, able to do so because of the opened window. Despite the awkward position, she spoke in a sincere tone, wanting to portray to her friend how thankful she truly was.
”Yea ‘course. See you in a few hours? I’ll pick a movie for our shift tonight.”
Robin simply nodded in response, and flicked the boy on his forehead, before quickly retreating from the open window before he could return the action. It was hard to keep her smile hidden when she strolled away from the car despite Steve yelling ‘hey! unfair!’ at her while she ignored him.
She loved that boy.
However despite the interaction with her friend just seconds prior, the minute Robin entered the double doors of Hawkins High, her smile vanished. The halls were thriving and loud, hundreds of conversations going on at once. Freshmen, Sophomores, Juniors and Seniors alike pushed past one another to get with friend groups or head to classes a few minutes early. Some disgustingly performative couples made out in the corners of the building, others chose to smoke, and the occasional loner did skateboard tricks on the empty staircases that lead to the lower levels of the school.
Everyone was so obnoxiously themselves, it made Robin sick. She spent three-and-a-half years at this shit show of a school trying to be completely average, and everyone else got to be their unique selves with almost no consequences? That seemed unfair.
Though admittedly, Robin took small steps towards expressing herself, chalking it up to it being her final year and not caring about what people would try to say. She allowed herself to find her own sense of style regarding her clothes, hair and makeup. For the most part, nobody cared. But there were always the occasional whispers and rumors about her boyish style, which painfully reminded her of the rumors Sophomore year, about a lesbian in the locker rooms.
Robin brushed the unpleasant memory away, knowing it didn’t matter now. Surely she had senior priority? It was an unspoken law that lower grade students couldn’t talk shit on the upperclassmen. At least, that’s how it was when the tall girl was in the lower grades.
It wasn’t like she stood on the rusting cafeteria tables and publicly announced just how different she was. Rumors could spread all they want, but as long as Robin didn’t confirm nor deny, no harm could be done right?
Right.
Pushing past a group of (obviously faded) teens, Robin found herself arriving to class nearly ten minutes before the first bell, ignoring the teachers eyes on her and taking the usual back seat in the left corner. AP Literature. A charming class, really. What better way to start your day than with unnecessarily complicated annotations and dissecting poems word-for-word, hoping to find something new. Yay.
Robin had a love-hate relationship with the class. It was annoying that it was what she started her day with, and she knew almost nobody in there. Normally there would be a band nerd or two in her other classes, but nope. Nancy Wheeler was there, however. Not like the pair would be conversing much, due to the brunettes current reservations.
But despite those flaws, it was Robins favorite class. Though, she would never admit it to Mr. Hauser, her favorite teacher that she hasn’t had a class with since Sophomore year. He was also the first person Robin ever came out to. Well, sort of. She never really told him but, likely because of a kinship, he was able to figure it out. He waited for Robin to be comfortable enough to confide in him, but that was pretty easy once she learned that he was, in many ways, the same.
So here she was, as per his advice, in an AP class at 7:52 in the morning. Mr. Hauser would non-stop chat the girls ear off about how she should be in higher classes, and that she could even have a perfect grade score if she tried just a little bit. For a while, Robin would shrug off the requests, but when she realized full-ride scholarships were possible, she started applying herself. Anything for a ticket out of Hawkins. And admittedly, AP Literature was the first class that ever challenged her. And the challenge was more then welcome.
There were only two other people in the room this early: another student, quiet and reserved, much like Robin. She didn't know the boys name, but he was always early too. And then there was the teacher, Mrs. Spring, who Robin wasn't particularly fond of. She was an alright teacher, it wasn't like she picked on Robin or any of the students. It was just blatantly obvious that Mrs. Spring wasn't nearly as passionate or remotely interested in teaching like Mr. Hauser was. So not only was the curriculum bias, but the teaching added absolutely zero flavor to the lessons. It was just the same monotone voice, long homework, and dull poems and books. But compared to the other classes, it was noticeably more difficult. The difficulty was the only thing that made it a twinge interesting. So yes, the class was a challenge by comparison.
Time flew by, luckily, feeling like the bell rang after just a minute of sitting there. Students flooded in all at once, the previously quiet classroom now overflowing with the same noise that belonged to the halls not long ago. Robin distracted herself with getting her AP Lit book out from her backpack, allowing her eyes to shoot up when she saw familiar shoes make their way to the desk one seat up and to the left.
Nancy Wheeler.
Of course, Nancy wasn’t looking in Robins direction. She never did anymore. It wasn’t just an understatement or over exaggeration on Robins end, Nancy truly removed herself from the entire group once the recovery period started. It was… Bizarre. The brunette had spent the entire week trying to keep the kids safe, getting closer to Robin and Steve and even Eddie. And now here she was, just another passing face in another uneventful class.
It hurt Robin to think about. She was excited for her dynamic with the passionate girl once everything was said and done. She planned on bringing Nancy along on her hangouts with Steve, as well as getting the entire Hawkins group together one night to just check in and see how they all were. That all fell through the cracks because Nancy fucking Wheeler became a ghost. And Robin couldn’t even blame her, but it was still so frustrating.
Luckily the lesson began once most people were in their seats, Mrs. Spring wasting no time in filling the room with her harsh voice and uncaring lesson plan. Another day at Hawkins High meant another day lost.
It only took a few minutes before Robin was bored out of her mind. Mrs. Spring was repeating a lesson she had taught at the beginning of the year, and it was painfully obvious to every student, but nobody say anything, wanting easy homework questions. Robin would say something, if she was searching for a reason to get shit thrown at her in the cafeteria. So instead she sat back in her chair, let her legs extend under the desk, and lulled her head to the side as a pencil danced between her fingers. Most teachers would correct the girls unmannerly posture, but again, Mrs. Spring couldn’t give two shits. How Robin wished Mr. Hauser could be teaching this class.
It was nearly impossible for Robin to stop her eyes from drifting towards Nancy. She wanted so badly to talk to the girl, to ask what was wrong, to be there for her. But all she was met with were the girls brown curls and consistently tense shoulders. After a few seconds of looking, likely past what was the appropriate amount of staring for a classmate (was there a limit?), Robin flicked her eyes to the ceiling, now mesmerized by the stains on the tiles above because how the fuck did stains get up there?
However like many things, the mysterious stain-ceiling debacle didn’t have the blondes attention for long, since she could suddenly feel eyes on her. Afraid that Mrs. Spring asked her something and she didn’t hear, Robin sat up and looked towards whatever intense gaze was awaiting. It was a surprise to see the piercing blue eyes of Nancy boring into her for just a second.
Well maybe more than a second.
Robin took interest, and for the first time in so long, their eyes met and locked on one another's. It was strangely nice, like a form of acknowledgment that was previously nonexistent. Nancy was looking at her, Robin was looking back, and they were aware of each other again.
Just as Robin opened her mouth to whisper something, Nancy turned all-too-quickly back to the front.
Goddamnit Wheeler, Robin thought, unable to stop her head from rolling back in annoyance and hitting the wall that was right behind her seat. A few people looked in her direction due to the sound of the impact, but shocking absolutely nobody, Mrs. Spring didn’t even bother to ask if she was alright.
So the lesson continued on, like it always did.