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"My two favorite people," Norman announced upon entering the room. Both boys were sitting with their arms crossed and radiating annoyance from opposite sides of the room. Norman got the feeling that he was about to enter no man's land. His living room turned into a war zone.
Of the two, Harry was the first to speak. "So you're excluding dead people from that statement?" He knew including Mendel would edge Otto out of second place. Even with Mendel put back into the running, Harry was still certain he had the top spot. There was no way Norman could love anyone else more than Harry.
Norman rolled his eyes. "You're both still in the top five."
Harry opened his mouth again, but Norman cut him off before he could even start. "Don't you dare ask for the ranking."
Otto finally spoke up to say, "It should go without saying."
Norman rubbed his temple to ward off an oncoming headache. "Alright, it's me. I'm my favorite. You've both been demoted."
Harry was first to complain, "That's not fair!"
Norman shook his head, exasperated. "It was never a competition."
Harry's eyes narrowed, full of raw determination. His voice dropped as low as his adolescent throat could go when he said, "Everything is a competition."
The tension broke when Norman roughly ruffled Harry's hair and gave him a playful shove that almost made him topple off of the couch. Otto almost laughed when Harry lost his balance, only mildly disappointed when Harry didn't tumble onto the floor.
"If it's going to be a competition," Norman said, "points will be awarded to whoever fetches me a snack and a soda."
Harry bolted to his feet and raced towards the kitchen while Otto stayed firmly seated with a wide grin and a chuckle. Now that Harry was out of the room, Norman leaned down and gave Otto a proper greeting with kisses.
"So how many points do I get for kisses?"
"Hm..." Norman pretended to think about it for a second. "That depends on where you kiss me."
"Ugh! Gross!" Harry exaggerated his disgust after catching them making out. He had returned with his arms full of snacks and sodas. It occurred to him that he'd been tricked, but he wanted to keep the game going. His face turned mischievous. "How many points do I get for kisses?"
It was Otto's turn to be disgusted. Norman shook his head. "None. You get points for hugs."
Harry dropped everything he'd been carrying onto the coffee table and hurried over to wrap his arms around Norman. Discretely glaring and poking his tongue out at Otto. After what Otto deemed to be an excessive amount of father and son physical contact, Norman un-entangled himself.
Harry tilted his head back to look up at Norman, eyes shining, he asked, "Where are we keeping a tally of these points?" He was obviously excited as he anticipated his ultimate victory.
Norman briefly considered the consequences of keeping this game going as Otto boldly claimed that, "He's only joking."
"No," Norman decided, "I'm actually serious."
Otto's glasses enhanced the bug eyed look on his face. That was so amusing it nearly threw Norman off track. He turned his attention back to Harry. "I'll keep the tally next to your report cards. That seems appropriate since they will factor heavily into your score."
Harry's head rolled backwards on his shoulder as he groaned rather dramatically. "Noo. That's not fair. Does Otto lose points for being stupid?"
Otto was very openly offended by the suggestion. Norman wisely took note of that. And since Otto looked about ready to sock Harry in the jaw for that comment, Norman had to respond quickly.
"Otto rarely does anything stupid. So I think he should lose points for far more arbitrary reasons."
Harry giggled maniacally.
Otto was starting to catch on that Harry wasn't actually taking this seriously and the Osborns had just teamed up to play a joke on him. "This stops being funny if I lose."
Norman smirked. "Down two points for having a bad attitude," and he winked at Harry.