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The force of Edward’s punch sent Stede tumbling down onto the splintered hardwood of the Revenge.
He lay there for a bit, holding his jaw and rubbing it to soothe the burning pain as his lover stood over him with a vicious scowl, his teeth showing slightly through parted lips.
Stede looked up, his blonde brows furrowed in a mixture of pain and confusion. Who was this Ed? His familiar features were now marred with obsidian kohl paint, taking the place of the soft beard Stede had grown fond of braiding. His wavy hair was down, draped over his shoulders, almost like a lion's mane. It would be regal if not for the contrast of his rugged, leather attire. His deep brown eyes, which Stede only ever saw light in, were now dark and cold. That stung more than the punch ever could. He noticed a mostly-empty bottle of whiskey in Edward's hand, and winced with a pang of guilt.
He had been drinking.
“Edward-“ Stede began, his jaw still sore. “I..I’m sorry. Please, just let me explain.” He scooted back slightly, reaching a pale hand out in surrender. Edward sneered down at the blonde man, as if he were another stranger on a ship he was ransacking.
“You’ve had yr' chance to essplain, Bonnet. Or is it jus' the Gentl'man Pirate now? " He asked with a snide snort, slurring his words. "Not mcsh of a pirate wifout a crew.” Edward gestured around him at the empty deck of the ship, swaying slightly. The deck, once alive with laughter and song and joy was now quiet and sullen under its new leadership.
Stede scooted away from Edward, slightly, trying to create some distance between them. He wanted nothing more than to grab him by the collar and kiss him like he did on that dock, but the pain from his jaw ebbed once more, a painful reminder that this Ed was not the same one from which he had shared such a dreamlike moment.
Edward just stared down at him, a look of pure disgust plastered across his features.
“Please, Ed-”
With one swift motion, Edward grabbed Stede by the linen collar of his shirt and held him up in front of his face, only centimeters of space left between them. This close, Stede could feel Edward's hot, ragged breath on his face as he panted with strain, tinged with the sour smell of alcohol that made Stede's nose crinkle with disgust. This close, he could see the stubble on his lips and chin, surrounding Edward's now bared teeth.
“Y' don’t get to call me that, Bonnet!" He snarled, beads of spittle spraying Stede on his face, forcing his eyes shut. He felt the familiar sting of tears pricking at his eyes, managing to spill though his squeezed eyelids. Edward noticed this and softened his grip on Stede, allowing him to fall to the ground again. "Not anymore.” He spoke, his voice a little quieter this time.
Stede allowed it to happen. He deserved this. He was a horrible person and only did horrible things. Stede was-
“What’s goin on out ‘ere boss?”
Edward snapped his head towards the voice, and Stede followed suit.
It was Ivan. He’d just come outside of the captain’s quarters and looked extremely confused.
“Ivan? What are you doing out here? Didn’t Izzy put you in charge of guarding Jim?” Edward barked, making Ivan flinch.
Ivan stared between Stede and Edward before slowly opening his mouth to answer.
“Uh- yes.”
“Then what th'fuck are you doing out 'ere? " Edward was fully facing Ivan now, his rage bubbling once again to the surface in full-force. "Get back to work. I have buisiness to take care of-“ He turned to glare in Stede's direction - “and I could do without distractions.”
“Oh, no-yeah! I’ll be on my way. Then.” Ivan nodded his head and sprinted across the deck to where Jim was being held and awkwardly slammed the rusty door behind him.
Rolling his eyes, Edward turned back to Stede, who looked bewildered.
“Now, where was I?” Edward growled.
Edward reached towards the leather holster on his hip, producing a short-barreled musket. He cocked it without hesitation, aiming it directly at Stede's heart. Time stood still as the two men stared at the other, waiting for something, anything to break the silence. Stede looked up at Edward, pleading, begging with his eyes for Edward to hear him out. His head throbbed, not only from the crying, but from the racing thoughts in his head. He wanted to grab Edward by the leg, wailing, telling him how he was sorry and how he would never leave him again.
And that he loved him. So much. So much that he thought his heart would burst out of his chest. He wanted to jump up and clasp his arms tightly around Ed's broad, muscular shoulders and run his fingers though his hair and feel the friction of his stubble against his smooth face as he kissed him again and again and again, not caring who saw them or what they would say, only that Edward was his and that he was Ed's. But there was nothing. Edward's expression hadn't changed one bit, his teeth still glinting in the moonlight in a terrible scowl.
So he didn't. And he would never get another chance to again.
“Get. off. my. ship.” Edward spoke finally, a low, husky noise that vibrated through his chest.
Stede rose from the deck, softly brushing tiny splinters that had caught onto the soft linen of his shirt. He felt Edward's eyes lingering on his torso, studying his movements before snapping back to Stede's face with a huff.
“I’ll go. If that’s what’ll make you happy.” Stede whispered, a sad smile taking over his lips.
“It would. Now go.” Edward retorted, gesturing his gun in the direction of Stede's dinghy.
Chauncey was right.
Stede did defile nice things.
With that insecurity projected in front of him, Stede grabbed the rope that attached his dinghy to the Revenge and used it to drop into his boat with a grunt, steadying himself and it bobbed slightly in the black water below.
He turned around and looked up to Ed, who was staring down at him over the edge of the ship. His face looked different somehow, from down here, but Steded couldn't quite read it. It's not like it mattered anyways.
“Safe travels, Ed - " He flinched. "Blackbeard.” Stede corrected himself quickly, every word leaving another burning hole in his heart.
Edward didn’t acknowledge it, his head dissapearing back over the side of the boat before Stede heard the slashing of metal against tweed, severing the thick rope that kept the boat attached to the much larger ship. The other end of the rope splashed into the water, getting his top slightly damp. He hear the thudding of combat boots getting father away until the slam of a door signaled Edward's exit.
“I love you.” Stede whispered to himself. It was all he could muster before he broke down in sobs, his knees buckling beneath him and he dropped to the floor of the small boat, curling into a blonde, pathetic ball. He laid there for a moment, no longer crying but now staring up into the starry night sky, the cosmos staring back at him with a comforting endlessness. He remembered those small moments he and Edward shared during the night in his quarters - glances held for a little too long, a hand resting on a should longer than needed, fingers brushing gently on exposed skin.
He had to stop his thoughts from betraying him. He needed to move on - Edward clearly had. He tried making it easier on himself, pushing the good memories out and trying to replace them - Edward's bright smile with an ugly scowl, the smell of sea salt and lavender with the burning scent of whiskey, and the ruby red of a certain hankerchief with dark smudges of kohl that dusted his shirt collar.
Stede sat up with a sigh, running tired fingers through tousled blonde curls. He grabbed the oars that lay next to him and positioned himself on the seat of the boat, placing the oars in their rightful positions. He rowed back out onto the dark sea.
He hoped it would swallow him whole - a fitting end for the Gentleman Pirate.
- fin -