Chapter Text
“What is Facebook, John?”
It was a lazy Friday morning in 221B. But, to be honest, they have been lazy for weeks now. There were no cases and no matter how often Sherlock texted Lestrade, the DI had nothing for Sherlock to do. So, while John occasionally went to the clinic for a couple of hours, the detective was at home all day. For the last few days, Sherlock has been in a bad mood. He was stroppy and did not know how to busy himself. All experiments he started left him unsatisfied and resulted in one of Sherlock’s usual epic sulks. He just lay on the couch every day, curled up with his knees to his chin, and exhaled noisily. How could there have been no murders, robberies or suicides? It was tedious. Even John could feel it. He did not sleep very long and when he did, he got up and felt like he had not rested at all. No matter how hard he tried, he never seemed to relax, he missed the adrenaline their work brought with it and he was sure that in a week or two even either the tremor in his hand or his limp would return. Possibly both. Regarding this, John nearly choked on his tea when Sherlock, who has not talked for three days now, asked him this question. He looked over to Sherlock, sitting in his armchair, the tips of his long, pale fingers touching his lips in his ‘I have to think – pose’.
“I…. what?”
“Oh, John, stop dreaming and catch up! I asked you a question! What is Facebook?”
John looked startled, he did not know how to answer that question. Well, if someone else had asked, John would have already answered. But this was Sherlock, and Sherlock was definitely not really interested in a social network the way other people would have been, was he?
“Facebook?”
“Yes, John, Facebook.”
“This social network thingy?”
“So, Facebook is a social network?”
Sherlock frowned; the idea of a social network did not seem to appeal to him.
“Yes, It’s a social network. Why don’t you just give it a try?”
John felt a glimpse of hope rise in his chest. Maybe there was a little chance to keep Sherlock occupied for at least a day or two? Of course, John knew what he got himself into when he moved to 221B with Sherlock, Sherlock had made clear that he could spend days not talking and playing the violin, but John needed some relief from the tension which was building up in him. As long as Sherlock was sulking, John was in a bad mood as well. John knew he must not fuck this up, or the game would be lost and Sherlock would eventually lose his temper again. The prospect to come home from the clinic to find a more content Sherlock was too tempting.
“Obvious, John. I need more data”
“Okay, Then. What do you want to know?”
John could see Sherlock’s mind working. He could imagine how the detective’s brain tried to find the most efficient way to collect all the data it needed to evaluate the subject. John always admired Sherlock in these brief moments when his green-blue-grey eyes are razor sharp, his brow is raised and his mouth curls a little. He really looks like the genius he truly is then, and John could not help it and stared. He always wondered if Sherlock knew how beautiful and extraordinary he was, and, although Sherlock always pretended to be an arrogant git and enjoyed it when people around him felt dumb and worthless, John knew that Sherlock was hurt every time he was called ‘freak’ and he also knew that Sherlock had no idea how it was to see him through John’s eyes. Yes, Sherlock was arrogant and annoying, but he also was mesmerizing and brilliant. Sherlock was as radiant as the sun and John was circling around him. But before John could drift too far away, Sherlock snapped back, his eyes focused on John.
“First, what exactly do I do there?”
“Hmm, yeah, you can befriend the people you already know. Me, for instance. We would be Facebook friends then”
“Friends?” Sherlock looked sceptical, “John, you already know, I don’t have friends, I only…”
“… Have one, yeah I know that” John already knew that Sherlock would say something like this, but he was not about to give up his course, “You could also get to know other people. Not to befriend them, since this is not your area, but to offer your services as a consulting detective”
Sherlock’s eyes were suddenly wide open and bright with pleasure and John was sure Sherlock was paying attention now. The prospect of potential clients was too tempting for the consulting detective. However, Sherlock tried to look unimpressed.
“And how would that work?”, he asked, not able to hide the anticipating edge in his voice.
“Well, first, you would create yourself a profile, you know, with your picture, your contact details and so on. You could share your interests there. In addition, we could also announce your appearance on Facebook in our blogs. Since we are something like ‘little celebrities’, as your brother likes to refer to us, I’m sure many people will go to see your profile and with this, there is also the chance of finding a new client with an interesting case”
“Mmhh… I have to think about it”, muttered Sherlock, stood up and strode to his bedroom.
John’s mouth curled up in a smile. He knew Sherlock’s mind was occupied for the next hours. He would create himself a profile, would wait for clients writing to him and while waiting, he would visit some profiles and deduce these people’s well-hidden secrets. He would have quite some fun for a while. With this in mind, John went upstairs to get dressed for work. He got his bag from the dresser and went downstairs again to get his coat. Right before he opened the door to go downstairs, something came to John’s mind. He went to Sherlock’s bedroom and knocked. There was no response, but John went in eventually, not expecting a positive answer from Sherlock. Sherlock was sitting on his bed, his legs folded underneath him, his laptop, still closed, right in front of him. He did not even make the effort to look up at John, expecting John to just start talking.
“I just wanted to tell you, there also is a Facebook App for your smartphone. I know you like it better to do everything with your phone as it is handy and you are always fumbling around with it. I thought you might find this useful. I’m off to work, then. I’ll be back around 4.30 pm. See you”
“Yes, very useful…”, Sherlock replied, as if he had not heard the rest of what John has just said, but John knew better than to be angry. Sherlock had something to do now, something to think about, so there simply was no space for profanities in his mind. He was focused now and John was glad. At least there was nothing to worry about today. For the last few days John was constantly worried that, when he came back home from work, Sherlock had set something on fire or got himself killed in one of his experiments. But this was just a social network. There was no way that could go wrong, was there?