Work Text:
“Good morning, Mister Itadori. You’re early today.” The receptionist calls out as Yuuji walks through the sliding glass doors over to the front desk.
The hospital lobby sits in the perfect spot for the morning sun to make the white walls glow, and the oppressive cloud that always gathers here, a little more bearable. It’s routine now, everyday walk up to the desk, greet whoever is working, and sign in for visiting hours. Depending on how Megumi is feeling will decide whether they roam the halls, go outside, or just sit together in his room.
“Yeah, finally got a day off so I figured I’d take Megumi out for some fresh air before we get the rain.” Yuuji smiles, walking up to the desk to get his visitor's pass.
“You’re in luck! The nurses were just saying he’s having a good day today, so I’m sure he will be very excited to get out for a bit.”
“I hope so too.” He waves, turning away to walk the seamlessly never-ending halls.
Down the hall, a right, then a left, wave to the nurses, three doors from the window turn right. He could do it in his sleep now, memorized down to every scratch a paint and scuffed floor tiles. The routine is comforting.
Megumi’s room door is left open, likely from the nurse he just walked past, allowing the fluorescent hallway lights to break through the usually dim room. He knocks on the side of the door softly before stepping further inside.
Megumi’s sitting up in the hospital bed wearing one of Yuuji’s sweatshirts that leave him swimming in the fabric. His tousled bedhead swings across his forehead in unruly spikes as he turns to look towards the sound. The gleam in his eyes seems brighter today even with the dark circles marring his face, a pink blush dusting his cheek, fighting off the paleness of sickness that never seems to leave.
“Goodmorning, Megumi.” He smiles, heading further into the room to place his bag on the chair in the corner.
“Morning.”
“I was thinking we could go sit outside for a bit today if you are feeling up to it. Get out before the rain comes in, and the sunshine will do you some good too.”
He nods, eyes scanning Yuuji’s features before looking down at his hands that fiddle against the soft fabric of his blanket.
The look of uncertainty never gets easier to see. Somewhere along the line, Megumi’s quiet confidence started fading into fearful hesitancy. It breaks Yuuji’s heart a little bit more each time, wanting nothing more than to soothe his fraying nerves and ease his slowly bubbling anxiety.
“Do you want me to brush your hair before we head out?” His tone softening as to not stress him out, but hoping to distract from the worry plaguing his mind.
“If you don’t mind, please.”
“Alright, scooch forward for a second.”
Yuuji reaches back into his bag, rummaging around for the hairbrush he always brings with him when he visits. Once he finds it, he turns back to Megumi who is sitting crosslegged in the middle of the bed leaving enough room for Yuuji to slide behind him.
Crawling into the hospital bed is always a challenge due to Yuuji’s large frame. The first few times they did this always ended with one of them half hanging off the side but now it's easier, Yuuji’s thighs resting on either side of Megumi’s hips leave his frame dwarfed by the size.
The first drag of the brush through Megumi’s hair has the tension in his shoulders slip away, the next he lets his head drop forward basking in the attention. Yuuji could picture Megumi’s eyes half-lidded and sleepy under that careful touch, slowly untangling each knot that found its way into his hair, slowly smoothing out the wild edges.
It is nice for both of them to be able to have these small moments of intimacy. The first few weeks were the hardest on them, but this would always be something they could come back to. Yuuji is finally able to thrive under these small actions of caretaking, especially when it feels like there is nothing he can do to make Megumi feel better.
It doesn’t take longer than a few minutes to tame the knots from his hair, even when Yuuji spends a few extra moments letting Megumi relish in the gentle affections and the security of the repetitive motions. It feels cruel for him to move Megumi now, but some fresh air would still do a world of good for his recovery.
“All done, Megs,” he murmurs, “why don’t we head outside for a bit?” Yuuji trails his hand down Megumi’s back to refocus his drifting mind back into the present.
Minutes pass where Yuuji gently strokes Megumi’s back, waiting for him to lift his head, and another for the hand that is wrapped around Yuuji’s shin to let go. When he sits up straight Megumi takes a moment to shake his head, grounding himself from his daze. It’s Yuuji's cue to crawl out from behind him and get them moving before Megumi drifts off again.
“I’m going to go grab a wheelchair from the nurses' station, put your shoes on while I’m gone, alright?”
“I don’t,” Megumi trails off, looking away. “I don’t remember where they are.” His voice is small, clouding with embarrassment over every word.
“That’s okay, you put them at the end of your bed yesterday.”
“Right.” Megumi takes a deep breath in, gradually letting it out. “Okay, thank you.”
“‘Course, I’ll be right back,” He reassures at the look of unease that settles over Megumi’s features.
He stops just outside the doorway to take a moment to look back in. Megumi doesn’t move right away once he’s out of sight, his head hangs low, leaving his bangs to cover his eyes that are staring at the floor. The subtle shake of his shoulders makes it difficult to not just walk back inside and end Megumi’s misery.
Independence, he reminds himself. The accident stripped Megumi of his independence, which is one of the things they are working on improving. All they can do is guide him through small tasks, reassuring him that he can do them. Even baby steps count to progress.
Yuuji scrubs a hand down his face as he eventually turns to walk down the hallway.
If anyone can come back from this, it would be Megumi. Fierce, loyal, brave Megumi, he’ll make it through this, get better, and years from now, when these wounds are old and scarred, no longer tearing open at the seams, they’ll laugh over these months of heartache.
The nurses' station is empty when he walks up, everyone busy with the revolving door of patients in need of care. Since Yuuji comes by daily, all the nursing staff have gotten familiar with him enough to give him access to the wheelchairs behind the desk whenever he needs one.
It’s easy slipping behind the counter to grab one, spending an extra moment to make sure he grabs the one that doesn’t squeal when it turns to the right because he knows even if Megumi doesn’t speak up about his dislike, the cringe he fails to hide speaks volumes.
‘It’s a good day,’ he has to remind himself on the walk back to the room. A good day where Megumi is talking and willing to go outside, a good day with no tears or panic. Small victories are all that matter.
Yuuji stops outside the room and takes a deep breath before announcing his return with a knock on the doorframe. He watches Megumi jump looking confused at his arrival but with his shoes on even if he jammed the laces into the insides of the shoes instead of tying them.
“Hi Megs, I got your chair so we can head out.”
“Where are we going?” Megumi’s head tilts to the side like a puppy confused over a new sound.
“We’re going outside to sit on the benches, remember? Your doctor told us last week that you needed to get outside a bit more,” He keeps his voice soft but excited despite the flash of grief that flashes through him.
“Oh, I,” Megumi stops, glancing around the room to take stock of where he is, “I don’t remember that.”
Agony. Shooting, untamable agony.
“That’s alright, nothing to worry about!” Yuuji smiles, hoping it reaches his eyes enough to soothe Megumi’s threadbare nerves. “Do you want to go sit outside with me?” He tries again.
He can see the wheels slowly turning in Megumi’s mind, watching dull eyes spark at the idea once he understands what’s going on.
The quiet but optimistic, “yes, please,” following a slow nod is more than enough for Yuuji to push the chair further into the room, gesturing wildly to Megumi’s awaiting throne.
“Your chariot awaits, my lord.” Yuuji offers Megumi a hand in a grand show to help him up from the bed.
It’s worth the extra dramatics at the gentle sound of Megumi’s laughter and the tiny smile that makes his eyes shine even brighter as he reaches to grasp Yuuji’s hand. Sometimes Yuuji forgets how dainty Megumi’s hands truly are, all lithe fingers and soft skin save for the few calluses along his palms and fingertips, even more now that he isn’t training relentlessly with the cursed tools.
His movements are slow as he stands on wobbly, unused legs but his grip on Yuuji’s hand tightens in determination to make it without needing to be lifted. He truly is a fighter.
“That’s it, you’re doing so good,” Yuuji reassures, steadying the chair as Megumi sits down with a sigh.
His legs tremble in Yuuji’s hands as he reaches down to help him lift his feet onto the footrests. he can’t help but smooth his hand through Megumi’s hair once he’s situated with a blanket over his lap, a reward for pushing through the obvious fatigue to do something by himself.
It’s easy from there, pushing Megumi through the white-washed halls, greeting familiar nurses even if Megumi doesn’t say a word to them. They know as well as Yuuji does that sometimes Megumi just forgets to answer so no one seems to mind.
Finally, through the sliding doors, the heavy weight of hospital life melts off of Megumi’s shoulders. The stiff line of his spine gives way as he leans further into the backrest like he can finally breathe after so long being trapped inside the four walls of his room.
Yuuji pushes the wheelchair to sit beside the end of the bench just off the main entrance pathway. The blossoming trees and green grass certainly must look like a painting after being inside for a while. Megumi is tilting his face up, gaze taking in the crisp clouds backed by the endless blue sky. Yuuji doesn’t want to break the silence and shatter Megumi’s moment of peace, but he knows the longer Megumi sits the more lost he gets once he comes back to himself.
“Gojo said he visited you the other day, told you that he’s looking to get your room changed to one with a window and a view of the park,” Yuuji prompts, taking a seat on the bench beside him.
Megumi blinks once, shaking his head before turning to look at Yuuji, refocusing on the present.
“I don’t remember him saying that but that would be nice.”
“That’s okay, I’m sure he’ll tell you more if you ask him about it.”
Megumi looks away mumbling under his breath a reminder he will surely forget but it’s endearing to watch the concentrated furrow of his eyebrows and the slight wrinkling of his nose. In this lighting, he looks soft, delicate but whole.
Progress.
“I also wanted to tell you that I got to go on that mission I was telling you about, where the curses were causing chaos along the ocean not too far away. You would have loved it.”
“Describe it for me?”
“The mission?”
“No, the ocean.” Megumi looks at him, expression growing more intrigued by the second.
He can’t help but laugh at Megumi’s endless curiosity no matter the circumstances.
“Well, the ocean this time of year is still pretty cold so I didn’t go in but it was beautiful.”
“That’s it?” Megumi shrinks back into his chair, clearly hoping for a more in-depth description than Yuuji is giving.
“Ah, sorry. Let me try again.” He smiles softly.
“I finished up right at sunset when there was hardly any wind left, so the water was calm enough that the sunset reflected almost perfectly except for where little whitecap waves rolled into shore. It looked like it was on fire, Megumi. Vibrant oranges, reds and yellows like flames moving with every push and pull of the tide. I sat on this huge rock along the water's edge and watched the whole thing.” He finishes up, leaving out the parts where he wishes Megumi would have been at his side.
It is worth the extra description because Megumi’s eyes are burning, no doubt picturing every word with childlike wonder, craving to see it for himself.
“Have I ever been to the ocean? I know what it is but I can’t remember it,” Megumi speaks quicker than he has all day, driven by the idea of what sounds like a fantasy to someone who feels like they’ve never seen it.
“I’ve taken you a few times, which you loved but you complained the whole time that it was too cold the last time we went,” Yuuji laughs, “it was winter though so I’ll give you that one.”
“I wish I could remember it.”
Yuuji reaches over to hold Megumi’s hand, trailing his thumb across it in a few even strokes before letting go.
“You will, Megumi, in time. I promise you I’ll be here the whole time, no matter what happens.”
It’s enough just getting to sit here together, being able to reach out and know that Megumi is there, alive and whole. That the day he had to carry Megumi’s lifeless body is nothing but a distant memory and frequent nightmare.
They are learning every day what it takes to make or break a sorcerer, some of those lessons are far more horrific than others. The reminder that there are no guarantees in this job, that tomorrow is never promised to anyone.
They sit in silence for a while, taking in the quiet of the park, watching the few people that wander around. It’s a reminder to Yuuji that here they are safe, that there is nothing that needs to be fought and the only protection he has to worry about is to protect Megumi from himself.
“I’m sorry.” Megumi interrupts the silence, shifting uneasily in his seat.
“Why are you sorry?” Yuuji questions, turning fully to face Megumi, sensing his somber mood. He can’t think of any reason for Megumi to be sorry.
“I-,” he stops, letting out a breath, opening frustrated by his current thought as he stares at the ground.
“I don't remember who you are.”
Oh.
Oh .
It takes a moment for Yuuji to process, understanding that it is not as good of a day as the nurses thought it had been. How cruel it is for the love of his life to not remember who he is, to not remember that he is Yuuji’s reason to keep going.
“Are you mad at me,” Megumi’s voice breaks, embarrassment coating his tone over something he has no control over.
“I’m not mad at you, Megs. How could I ever be mad at you.” It’s a statement more than a question.
It isn’t his fault he hit his head, it isn’t his fault that his memory is hazy and blank. It could never be his fault for forgetting the life they built together.
‘Process is slow,’ Yuuji reminds himself. Two steps forward, one step back and today is just the step back before they can finally move forward.
“Yuuji Itadori.” He murmurs, smiling sadly as Megumi quietly repeats “Yuuji” under his breath, tasting familiar words trapped in an unfamiliar mind, so close to the surface yet staying just out of reach.
“You have a beautiful name, Yuuji .”
“You’re beautiful, Megumi.”
Megumi’s head snaps up, mouth dropping open in shock while his ears and nose turn red with a blush. He’s adorably innocent sometimes, the perfect paradox. Crass with a sharp tongue but a stuttering mess over the most modest compliments.
“O-oh, umm, thank you,” Megumi stutters, reaching up to brush a loose strand of hair behind his ear.
“Always for you.”
It’s nice after that, the silence that follows. No doubt Megumi is thinking everything over if his darkening blush is anything to go by, slowly putting pieces together into some semblance of order. On one of his good days, Yuuji might have reached out to hold his hand, not letting go for anything, but now just sharing the same space is more than enough.
“Thank you for staying with me,” Megumi whispers, offering a shaky smile once he’s come back to himself.
“For you, there is nowhere else I’d rather be.”