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Vi loves weddings.
Seeing her loved ones happy makes her happy, and she especially likes to dance, eat, and drink, of course.
This specific wedding isn't any different.
It's a fantastic day.
The weather is beautiful. The temperature is neither too hot nor too cold. The birds are singing.
The scenery is sumptuous: A gigantic farmhouse in the middle of a valley with a lake nearby.
In other words, a perfect day for a perfect wedding.
It also doesn't hurt that everybody's laughing and looking beautiful. They're all happy. Everyone is happy.
Everyone, except...
Well ….Vi.
Looking at the people around her, Vi feels a pang in her chest …
Everyone is genuinely thrilled to be here but her. She's so guilty to feel that way, but she can't help it.
She should normally be happy.
And she would be…. if the person who was getting married was someone else.
Because...
When she imagined herself at a wedding with Caitlyn, she was the one wearing white.
Not someone else.
Not another girl.
But her. Vi.
She's looking at the bride, Caitlyn, reminiscing when they're talking about their perfect wedding. They were so young, so full of dreams and ideas. They were so happy and excited.
She remembers every single detail because, for years, she thought about it: what their wedding would look like.
And now, here they are, living their idea of a perfect wedding but with Caitlyn marrying someone else.
She plays the part of the happy and supportive best friend perfectly, though, because today isn't about her.
Everyone buys it, including Caitlyn.
She's always been good at hiding her feelings, after all. Or maybe Caitlyn's never been good when it comes to reading her.
« Stop,» she tells herself « Caitlyn isn't the one to blame here. If you want to be mad at someone, be mad at yourself ».
And it's true.
It's Vi's fault.
It's her missing the numerous opportunities she had. Her cowardice, her silence. Her fear of losing her best friend in the whole world.
She can't help but think of how she let her chance go by—all those times when a gesture, a word, could have changed the trajectory of her life.
But she was always afraid of losing the most important person in her life. After losing her entire family, she couldn't bear it.
So she didn't say anything, and even though her heart belongs to someone else, at least Caitlyn is still a regular part of her life.
At least she's still there.
She's there, and she's so beautiful. She's always been, but now, with her wedding dress on, she's… There aren't any words that could describe what Vi is feeling right now. She can't stop staring at her best friend.
Vi knows that Caitlyn is happy. She knows her well enough to know when she's faking it or not. And Caitlyn isn't. And part of her is happy, the rational one, but on the other hand, all she wants to do is leave this place, lock herself in her house, and cry.
But she can't.
Because it's her best friend's wedding, and she has a speech to make.
The speech goes well, or at least Vi thinks so.
She talks about the best memories she has of Caitlyn as Vi tries to convey all the (friendly) love and admiration she has for her best friend.
She talks about the relationship between the two brides, how it makes her happy to see Caitlyn so happy and comfortable and how they have her approval.
She doesn't talk about how she feels like the only person in the world when Caitlyn looks at her. She doesn't mention how a simple touch can set Vi on fire. How just seeing Caitlyn's name on her phone or hearing her voice can brighten her day.
She doesn't talk about all the pain and heartbreak she feels, how helping Cailty during the wedding preparations was hard (if you don't count the actual wedding).
She doesn't talk about the many nights she spent crying.
She doesn't.
Vi keeps it simple and light because it's safer.
She's a good actress, but she's not that good, and she doesn't want to ruin a perfect moment for her best friend and embarrass her.
Vi has some dignity, after all.
It is different with Caitlyn in front of her than doing this in front of her mirror, but Vi thinks she did a good job.
Everybody clapped, and she even managed to get some tears out of the couple.
The rest of the dinner, just like the whole ceremony, is a blur. Vi doesn't remember much of it besides Caitlyn's smiles.
And while she feels incredibly guilty about it because Caitlyn deserves the best from her, she's also grateful that she won't get stuck with too many memories of what could be described as "not the best day of her life." (she can't say it's the worst. It wouldn't be fair to Caitlyn).
She's so deep in her thoughts that she doesn't hear someone sitting beside her: "Are you okay?"
The voice startles her. "What?"
"Are you okay?" They repeat. There's a certain hesitancy in their voice as if they know already that Vi won't give them an answer.
It's Ekko.
She's still trying to regain her composure, so she must look confused because he adds, "You're not drinking."
Again, confusion must be everywhere on her face. "What are you talking about?"
"Usually, you're the first to get drunk, especially at a wedding. But now, nothing, not even one glass… I'm, you know, surprised.." He shrugs.
"Are you calling me an alcoholic??" Now Vi is a little bit pissed. She knows it's his way of asking if she's okay but still....
(He's right, though... She's not drinking because Vi's afraid she'll spill her feelings if she does.)
It doesn't bother Ekko, who is completely unphased by her now. It's been years, so he's used to it. "I'm just saying… something is going on with you!"
"Maybe I just want to enjoy and remember my best friend's wedding, you know..." She tries to be convincing, but Ekko sees past her bullshit. (as always.)
And Vi is tired.
She's tired, but she can't break now because she won't stop crying if she does. And it is not the right time and place. It's Caitlyn's wedding.
So, she swallows her tears and pain, takes a deep breath, and tells him that everything is fine.
She tries to prove it to him by going back to the dance-floor and dancing with the others.
She tries to prove it to him by chatting excitedly with the newlyweds.
But ...
Later that night, after the wedding is over, after drinking too many bottles of wine, after one phone call, and in the privacy of her apartment, as she starts crying in his arms and telling him she's in love with Caitlyn, she proves him right.
It's also then that she realizes that maybe what she thought would be manageable ... is not.
THE END.