Chapter Text
It happened when he went to lift Tessa as they practiced Moulin Rouge to prepare for an upcoming competition in two weeks. His back had been feeling tight over the last few days but he’d managed okay and hadn’t made it an issue. He felt an intense spasm through his back as he started to lift Tessa. He fought through the pain to bend and put her down safely, pushing her away so she’d be safe as he collapsed back onto the ice. He lay there knowing he couldn’t move right now. Tessa immediately got up and fell to her knees next to him as he groaned with pain.
She looked at him with scared eyes. “Scott, are you okay?” She soothingly rubbed his shoulder, trying to comfort him.
He couldn’t immediately answer, Patch and Marie-France skating over and kneeling beside him too.
“What’s wrong?” asked Patrice as he felt for the source of the pain.
“My back,” said Scott through gritted teeth.
Patrice nodded, feeling the spasms against his hand. “I can feel it. Let’s get you up.”
“Can’t move,” said Scott.
Marie-France patted his arm, trying to soothe him. “We’ll help you.”
Tessa’s hand was still on his shoulder, her thumb stroking him in a soothing motion, but he was unable to look at her. It was an injury so close to the next competition and uncomfortably close to the Olympics too. He couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing her.
Together, they helped him up and soon he was in the physiotherapy room, an ice pack against his back as he lay on his side, hardly able to move. He was given a painkiller and a muscle relaxant and he lay there numbly staring at the wall.
Tessa sat with him, not knowing what to do to make it better. It hadn’t escaped her notice that he wouldn’t look at her. He hardly spoke to her at all. She knew he was in pain but she worried that he blamed her somehow.
“Tess, stop looking like your best friend died,” he said finally, trying to stop her from sitting there looking devastated.
“I’m worried about you,” she said quietly.
He met her eyes briefly. “I’m so sorry.”
“What are you sorry about?” she asked, confused.
“I’m sorry about this. If I’ve ruined everything I don’t know how you would ever be able to forgive me,” said Scott quietly.
“Is that why you can barely look at me?” she mumbled. “Because you think I would blame you?”
He bit his lip, his back twinging painfully. “I can’t look at you because it’s too close to the Olympics and I can’t bear the thought of failing you.”
She shook her head, taking his hand and squeezing it. “We’re in this together. You’re not failing me. I just don’t want you to be in pain.”
“I’m sorry, T. I’m so sorry,” he said, a tear rolling down his cheek.
She forgot to hide her affection for him for a brief moment, stroking his hair and bending to kiss his cheek. “It’s okay. I promise it will be okay.”
He nodded, squeezing her hand back, finally looking her in the eyes. “I’ll do my best to be healthy for you.”
“I know you will,” she said.
Their day of training cut short, all he wanted to do was go home to sleep and hope it was all a nightmare that would have gone away when he woke up. Tessa drove him home and carefully helped him out of the car. He walked slowly and she kept her arm around him as she helped him into the elevator and into his apartment.
He wanted a shower so she left him to shower quickly, telling him that if he wasn’t done in five minutes she’d barge right in. He might have made a smartass comment about welcoming such an intrusion if he was well and she’d blush and laugh it off as she always did when he tried to let her know he saw her as more than a friend in his own rather clumsy way.
Now he kept to the time limit strictly, feeling exposed as she helped him to bed, a towel wrapped around his waist. She thought she did well, on her best behavior as she tried not to look at him in a way that would make him uncomfortable, despite how much she wanted to enjoy the opportunity to look at his body.
“Tess … I uh, need to put on some clothes,” he mumbled, turning red.
“Can you even move?” she asked worriedly.
“I can shove some pants on,” he muttered.
She automatically reached for what he’d need, handing him a shirt and shorts and he blushed as she opened his underwear drawer and got him a pair of boxer briefs.
“Do you need anything else?” she asked.
“All good, thank you,” he said.
She glanced at him worriedly, clearly wondering how he’d move enough to put clothes on but left him to it, saying she’d give him a few minutes. Scott quickly dressed, grimacing and laying back exhausted from the whole exercise. She returned, looking relieved to see him dressed but worriedly rushing to his side as he groaned.
The physio couldn’t do anything for him right now, the pain was too acute. Tessa crossly looked at the dosage of the painkillers and muscle relaxants. Why weren't they working? Seeing him in so much pain made her want to burst into tears and curl up beside him to comfort him as best she could. But she didn’t. She didn't want to make it worse for him. She sat beside him, alternating ice and heat on his lower back as they’d been told, and at some point, Scott fell asleep.
She could have left. Scott had told her she should leave and get some rest. She didn’t listen though. She curled up next to him and watched him sleep. At least he’d been able to relax enough to fall asleep. He looked comfortable. She couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and stroking his hair. She pushed the ‘superman’ curl he had back from his forehead, watching as it simply bounced back where it had been. She loved his waves. She kissed his forehead tenderly. All she wanted was to keep kissing his skin. He was hurt and he needed her and all of the feelings she usually kept hidden were right there to give her away. It was fortunate that Scott was on medication as he didn’t seem to notice the extra affection or the way she wouldn’t leave his side.
“Hey,” he said with a sleepy smile as he woke up and saw Tessa lying by his side, watching his face.
“Hey, how are you feeling?” she asked.
“Doped up on muscle relaxants,” he said, smiling lazily.
“I didn’t dope you up, I gave you the maximum dosage allowed,” said Tessa with a smile.
“I know, I’m teasing,” he said. “You didn’t go home at all?” he asked, suddenly realizing she was still wearing the clothes she’d been wearing earlier.
“I didn’t. I need to go shower and change though,” she said, stretching.
“Tess, you’ve done so much for me. You’re amazing,” he said.
“It’s nothing. I’m just looking after you,” she said. “Do you feel like you can handle some gel now?”
He hadn’t let her rub his back with anti-inflammatory gel earlier, the pain too much to handle his back being touched. “Maybe,” he said.
She sat up, reaching under his shirt, feeling the way Patch had done at the rink to see if there was a spasm she could feel. He winced a little as he shifted.
She froze. “I’m sorry, did I hurt you?”
“No,” he said. “It’s just uncomfortable to move.”
“Can you lay on your stomach for a bit so I can rub your back?” she asked.
He shifted as she helped him. He closed his eyes, leaning his head on his arms. “Nothing like a sore back to make me feel like an old man,” he joked.
She rubbed his shoulder comfortingly, stopping herself from leaning down to kiss his head. Instead, she gently put the cool gel on his skin, checking with him as she rubbed it in with the lightest pressure she could. He groaned a little but otherwise didn’t react, telling her it was fine. He stayed on his stomach after that, not feeling like moving and causing himself discomfort. Tessa went to get some clothes from her apartment and then returned to Scott’s, showering in his bathroom. He was asleep again when she emerged from the bathroom, fully dressed. She was supposed to go to Gadbois to do her own training but she said she was looking after Scott. Marie and Patch allowed it, giving each other knowing looks as they hung up the phone.
Tessa helped Scott to sit up a little so he could eat something. He whined that he wasn’t hungry. She had to smile. He was cute when he was whining.
“You have to eat something to take more medication,” she said.
He thought about it. “At this point, the meds are my only hope.”
“You aren’t going to become an addict on my watch, got it?” she said sternly.
He sighed. “I won’t do that. I just want to feel that this is getting better so we can train.”
“Just focus on getting better, okay? Don’t worry about training,” said Tessa.
“Have you lost your mind?” he asked, staring at her.
She bit her lip. “No,” she replied, confused about why he sounded angry.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I’m just so worried we won’t have enough training time. I don’t want to let you down.”
“You won’t,” she said, rubbing his shoulders soothingly.
“You seem so sure about that,” he said quietly. “If we made this comeback all so we can’t go to the Olympics…” He blinked back tears. “I’d never forgive myself.”
“I’m sure that there is nothing you can do that can ever let me down,” said Tessa.
“That’s sweet but you would resent me forever and I would resent myself forever too,” said Scott.
“Scott, tell me the truth. Should we be at the hospital? Are you not telling me something?” she asked.
“No. I’m just so worried that by the time this pain settles down that we’ll have lost precious time to train,” said Scott.
“We’ve competed under difficult conditions before, we can do it again,” she said with determination.
“But you deserve better! You deserve an easy run to the Olympics, you already went through so much. You had two surgeries and I can’t screw it up by getting injured now. It’s not fair to you,” said Scott.
She kissed his cheek, trying to comfort him. “You’re my best friend. I love you, you know that. I am not worried that we won’t be able to perform. We will. We have a lot of experience performing under pressure. You just focus on getting better and we’ll train when we can.”
“You’re something else, Tess. Really. You could be mad at me but you aren’t. I’m so lucky. I love you too. I’m sorry I’m kind of grumpy. I’m just so worried,” he said.
“I get it, it’s okay. I know what it feels like to think I’m letting you down,” she said.
“You never have,” he said, his eyes on hers.
She ruffled his hair affectionately. “Thanks.”
She guessed that an advantage of the medication was that it made him sleepy and he was sleeping again after she got him up to have breakfast, his face relaxed. It meant less time being awake in pain and discomfort so she welcomed the reprieve he got. She stayed in bed with him, watching him carefully, looking for signs of discomfort. The physiotherapist was due to come over that afternoon to check him over and decide if he needed imaging on his back. He hadn’t touched him while the pain had been fresh, not wanting to cause any further issues.
“You’re amazing to be here, Tess, but you should go home and rest,” he murmured as he saw her lying next to him on waking. He loved the sight of her in his bed but he knew she was here only because she felt she needed to take care of him.
“I want to be here to look after you,” she said.
He sighed. “I feel really lucky to have you here.”
“I wish I could do more,” she said.
“You’re doing more than enough,” he said, reaching out to caress her cheek.
“You mean so much to me, it’s the least I can do,” said Tessa modestly.
He smiled. “So do you. I hope you didn’t get any grief for not going to train today.”
“No, they understood,” said Tessa. “You hungry?” she asked.
“A little nauseated actually,” he said.
“It’s the meds,” she said with a sigh.
“I’ll take some nausea over the pain,” he said, shrugging.
“Can you eat something? Anything?” she asked, sitting up.
He wrinkled his nose. He didn’t really feel like eating anything but knew he had to with the medication he was on.
“I’ll make you something,” she said.
“Uh, Tess, can you help me up? A bit stiff after not moving much,” he said shyly.
She smiled. “Of course.”
She got him up and into the bathroom, leaving him to it and closing the door. She then went into the kitchen and thought about what to make. She figured that maybe comfort food might help so started making him grilled cheese sandwiches.
She wasn’t exactly sure why he’d lost his appetite. It didn’t help when he had to take medications that could cause the nausea he was now experiencing. It would be better to take the meds with food. She supposed it was either because of the medications or something else.
She found him in bed, leaning back against a pillow as he sat up, looking down at the sheet. He hadn’t done anything. He hadn’t looked at his phone, he hadn’t watched tv, he just slept or sat there doing nothing at all. She was so worried about him.
“That smells good,” he said, looking up.
“It’s grilled cheese comfort food. You feel like it?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yeah, that sounds great.”
“Good,” she said, putting it down next to him.
He dug in, realizing he’d been hungry, finishing it all. “Thanks, T, that was great.”
She nodded. “So why have you lost your appetite?” she asked, taking the plate and putting it aside.
“Not sure,” he said.
“It could be the meds I suppose, or it could be something else and, knowing you, I think it’s something else,” she said pointedly.
“What else?” he asked.
“Are you worrying? Still worrying about disappointing me or whatever it is you’re worried about?” she queried.
“I’m scared I’ve ruined our podium moment,” he said.
“Why wouldn’t we be on the podium?” she countered.
“Because I can barely move let alone lift you,” said Scott, sounding defeated.
“Okay, but that’s just now. This is still an acute injury. The physio wouldn’t even touch you, but he is coming over this afternoon and maybe will be able to help,” said Tessa.
“If it doesn’t?” he asked.
“I’m not worried that we won’t go to the Olympics, Scott. I’m just worried about you. Please stop worrying. You need to keep your strength up,” she said.
“I’ll try,” he said.
She got his mind off worrying about their training by getting him to do training. Together they vocalized every step, visualizing the entire routine and being able to talk through every step, every transition, and every lift. They did it for the short and free dances. They didn’t hesitate, they knew every single step in their heads without having to do it. She could see it helped him. He relaxed a little. He wanted to be working right now, he wanted to be training hard and he couldn’t. But they could still go through every part of their routine like this.
When the physiotherapist came, Tessa stayed in the bedroom. She knew that seeing Scott in pain would cause her almost physical pain too. The physiotherapist had brought a portable table, using the space in the living room to examine Scott and do some massage that hurt him but loosened the tense muscles a little. He was told to take another day and then see if he could get up and do some light training.
For Scott, it felt like an uphill battle. His own test was to ask himself, in his current condition, could he safely lift Tessa? The answer to that was no and he tried not to bog himself down worrying that their Olympic journey was over before they could even get there. It was simply too close to the Olympics to just take it all in stride the way Tessa had. He couldn’t relax. The physiotherapist had been a little worried but not overly so. There was obviously a flare up at present but it could all be gone in a week. The problem was a few days, or a whole week, were everything so close to Korea. Sitting around and waiting it out wasn’t what Scott wanted to be doing.
Tessa found him lying on the living room floor, doing some gentle stretches the physio had shown him. He wasn’t supposed to be doing them yet. He was supposed to do them again in the evening, not overwork his back doing them now straight after a physio session.
“Are you supposed to be doing those?” she fretted immediately.
He regarded her with some hesitation. “No. Now come here and step on my back.”
“What?” she asked, her eyes wide.
“Step on my back,” he said.
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I feel like it will help,” he said.
“If you do damage to yourself because you’re obsessed with getting back on the ice as soon as possible I’ll murder you,” she threatened.
“Good, then I’ll know I’m in capable hands,” he retorted.
She stood on his upper back out of sheer frustration. “That’s good,” he said, “but lower.”
She tentatively stepped lower. Scott groaned a little but otherwise didn’t react.
“I’m supposed to be supporting you, not breaking your back,” she said.
“You are supporting me,” he mumbled. “You’re not breaking my back, don’t worry.”
“This isn’t safe, Scott,” she said.
“You’re so light, this is just like another massage,” he said.
She said nothing, stepping a little, careful with her movements. She then stepped off him as he thanked her. She sat down cross-legged on the floor next to him.
“I don’t know what to do with you, Scott. It’s more damaging for you to already have us counted out of the Olympics than it is for you to have an injury,” she said. “Your mental state right now is everything when it comes to beating an injury. I know, I’ve been there.”
He rolled over, looking up at her. “I don’t want to let you down most of all.” His voice broke and he bit his lip.
Tears fell from her eyes. “How many times do I need to tell you? You’re not letting me down. You never could.”
He nodded, wiping away tears. She lay down with him, nestling into his chest, not caring what that might look like. They were alone, lying on his carpet, supporting each other. “I’m not letting you get yourself down about this.”
He wrapped her tighter in his embrace, kissing her hair. “You’re the best. The best TLC there is.”
She smiled into his shirt. “If you need to cry, just cry. I’m here. But you can’t count us out. We’ll be on that podium, I’m certain.”
“I want us to be on that podium in gold position,” said Scott.
“We will be. We’ve trained for this for nearly two years,” said Tessa.
“I hope you’re right. I’ll do my best to help us get there,” he said.
“I know you will. Do you want to go get comfortable in bed?” she asked.
He nodded, squeezing her again in a hug, words not needed to let her know how much he appreciated her.
She helped him up and helped him get comfortable back in bed, sitting beside him. “Let’s train,” he said.
“Train?” she asked.
“As we did before,” he said with determination.
She nodded, starting to speak every movement aloud with him. Then she set up their practice videos on the tv in his room so they could train in their minds and visualize each step. She could see that it helped him. It was hard for him to remain off his feet, he wanted to be working towards their goals. So she trained with him in the only way they could right now.