Archive of Our Own

Namjoon is a huge fan of the TV show Modern Family. At the age of 16, when he was pushing the buttons in their television’s remote control to find something to watch in their cable as he eats his dinner, he landed on the cheerful tone of Modern Family’s intro.

He was intrigued. What even is a modern family? Does that mean there’s an old, traditional family? His curiosity peaked and he watched the pilot episode.

And oh, did it steal Namjoon’s heart in a heartbeat.

Growing up in a complete but dysfunctional family, Namjoon has always had trouble in terms of feelings. He did not exactly grow up as emotional as Manny Delgado or Cameron Tucker, he’s more of a Claire and Mitchell Pritchett who grew up not sharing anything to the family because he doesn’t want to be judged or shut off. And when he watched the series, he just longed to have a family like the Dunphy’s.

He particularly admired Phil Dunphy’s naïveté, positivity and confidence that he promised himself at 18 that he will only marry a guy that comes close to Phil Dunphy.

Seven years have passed and Namjoon still hasn’t found his Phil Dunphy.

Will he still come? Claire found Phil when they were in College. Namjoon had finished both his bachelor’s and master’s degree and he still hadn't found his Phil.

One would wonder, why Phil Dunphy? Why not Cam or Mitch, the only gay couple in the family? Well, he loves them too, he does, but Phil checked off the list of his ideal man. Soft-hearted, a confident inventor, extremely funny, very romantic, and full of dreams. That’s exactly Namjoon’s ideal man.

Namjoon lets out a sigh as he gathers his papers and laptop from his office table. Carrying his bag and hanging his coat on his arm, he bid his co-workers goodbye and left their building.

Another day full of work has passed. Namjoon’s friends, Hoseok and Yoongi, his best friends who obviously have feelings for each other but are too dumb to acknowledge it, have been telling him to get out there and present himself. Try dating apps, basking in parks in hopes of getting a date, and they even set him up on multiple dates already. Not one worked.

As he was walking down the street and through the park where there were a lot of people, he felt something hard flew and hit his forehead, causing him to lose balance and fall on his bottom.

“Owww.” He groaned and hissed as he touched his forehead where it hurts.

“Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.” He heard from afar along with the rustling of leaves and he felt a hand over his shoulder. “I am so, so sorry. Does it hurt?”

“Do you want me to try it on you so you can answer it yourself?!” Namjoon snapped and looked at whoever it was.

Namjoon was expecting a teenager, maybe a highschooler or a College student messing around but he wasn’t expecting a handsome, god-like man with worried, puppy eyes looking at him.

“I am really, really sorry.” The guy said. “My buddies and I were just playing frisbee and, well, my friend failed to catch it so you got hit.”

“Why are you even playing frisbee with children, are you a weirdo?” Namjoon asked as he stood up, the man holding him by the arm to help him balance.

“What, I’m just 28!” The man said, bending down to get his frisbee. “Playing frisbee has no age.”

“Yes it does especially if you’re playing with children and teenagers.” Namjoon said, patting his pants clean. “It’s like you’re waiting for a lawsuit yourself.

“We’re not doing anything, we’re just playing.” He said with a shrug. “And we’re under parental supervision so we’re all good.” He said, giving Namjoon a wink.

“Whatever, I’m leaving.” Namjoon said but as he was about to leave, the guy let out a loud gasp. “What? Why are you gasping so loud?”

“Your forehead…” he said while pointing at Namjoon’s forehead in horror.

“What?” Namjoon asked and touched his forehead.

He looks at his hand and sees blood on his fingers. Before he could even say something, he heard a loud thud and he saw the man in front of him passed out on the grass.

Exactly what he needed after a tiring day at work.

Namjoon took the man to the hospital — where he found out his name was Kim Seokjin and he’s a regular patient in the hospital for minor injuries and faints — and waited until he woke up. The doctors treated his forehead as well and they waited in one of the beds in the emergency room. It’s not like he’s responsible for what happened but his conscience told him to stay.

He was scrolling on his Instagram when he saw Seokjin move and slowly open his eyes.

“Good, you’re awake.” Namjoon said and stood up.

“Am I in the hospital again?” Seokjin asked with a groan.

“Yes.” Namjoon nodded, concerned that he said the word AGAIN. Just how regular of a patient is he? “I’m calling the doctor and I’m leaving.”

“Wait, I didn’t get your name.” Seokjin said.

“You don’t have to know.” Namjoon said.

“I should at least thank you for staying with me here in the hospital until I woke up.” Seokjin said. “I was the one who did you wrong and you’re the one who brought me here. I should repay you somehow.”

“Don’t think about it anymore, just stop fainting when you see blood.” Namjoon said, pushing the curtains open.

True to his words, Namjoon just informed the doctor that Seokjin is awake and he left to go home and rest.

Few days have passed, the bump and wound on his forehead has healed albeit leaving a light scar. He sighed and put on a band-aid over it to at least hide the scar.

Another day full of work has passed and Namjoon was walking home again, thinking of how comfortable his cold bed is right now and he can’t wait to sleep. Just him, his cold bed, and his humidifier all night long.

“Stranger!” Someone called. “Hey, stranger! Stranger in a suit!”

Namjoon looked around to see who the stranger was but he didn’t see anyone in that outfit. The guy should maybe walk a little closer to the guy he was calling for, Namjoon thought as he continued walking.

“No, stop walking!” He heard and this time, he felt a hand on his shoulder.

Namjoon, packed with karate and muay thai lessons, instinctively held the guy’s wrist and easily lifted him off the ground and slammed him on the grass in front of him. He heard the guy let out a scream and a loud groan after landing his back on the grass. Namjoon flipped him around and pushed the guy’s face on the ground with his arm, his other hand holding his arm against his back.

“Stop, wait!” The guy pleaded.

“What do you want from me?” Namjoon asked.

“I was just gonna ask how you were but now my back is broken and I think you should be the one asking me that question now!” The guy said in a pained voice.

Namjoon, confused, took a peek on the guy’s face. He let out a loud gasp and quickly let go of him when he recognized who it was.

“Oh no, I’m so sorry, Seokjin sir!” Namjoon said, helping him stand up.

“Wait, you know my name?” Seokjin asked.

“The doctor told me so.” Namjoon said. “Is it not?”

“Yeah, no, it’s right.” Seokjin nodded.

“We should take you to the hospital and get you checked in case I broke any of your bones.” Namjoon said.

“No, no, I think I’m fine.” Seokjin said, stretching his arms slowly as well as his back. “Not gonna lie, that hurted a lot. You’re strong as hell for an office worker.”

“I did karate and muay thai.” Namjoon said. “You know, for self-defense.”

“Now that explains it.” Seokjin said with a chuckle. “So, how was your forehead?”

“Um, it’s fine now.” Namjoon said. “Are you really sure you don’t have to go to the hospital?”

“Come on, I’m a Kim! Our bones are made of steel.” Seokjin said with a wink.

Namjoon let out a sigh. “I’m really sorry. For tackling you on the ground. I thought you were gonna rob me and frankly, you’re a stranger to me so I did not appreciate you touching my shoulder.”

“Well, you weren’t looking at me when I was calling you stranger so I thought patting you would catch your attention.” Seokjin said. “Anyway, my bad. What’s your name?”

“What?” Namjoon asked.

“You’re named Wat? Like the question what? Wow, your parents must be awesome!” Seokjin said with a bright smile.

“No, I was asking you the question what.” Namjoon let out an exasperated sigh. “What kind of parent would name their kid like the question what?”

“I don’t know, a cool one probably.” Seokjin shrugged. “So, what’s your real name?”

“You don’t have to know. I’m leaving.” Namjoon said, but as he was about to walk away, Seokjin stopped him by holding his arm.

When he turned around to face him again, he saw Seokjin stumbling on his feet backwards with a scared look on his face. Namjoon rolled his eyes at him.

“I’m not gonna hurt you anymore, I know it’s you.” Namjoon said.

“Better to be safe than sorry.” Seokjin said as he took small steps toward Namjoon again. “Will you really not tell me your name?”

“No.” Namjoon said firmly.

“Please?” Seokjin asked.

“No.” Namjoon shook his head.

“Well, you kinda tackled me on the ground and you know my name so maybe it’s just fair to tell me your name?” Seokjin asked, scratching the back of his head.

Namjoon closed his eyes to think. “Happy thoughts, happy thoughts. I should remain calm and think about this. Should I tell him my name? I mean, there’s no harm if I tell him, it’s not like he’s a murderer or something. Come on, a dork like him? No way. He couldn’t even fight me from tackling him, he’s probably harmless? But Namjoon, he’s still a stranger. Yeah, but you tackled him on the ground, what are you –”

“Namjoon.” He said and turned his back to walk away.

“Namjoon.” He hears Seokjin repeat. “Goodbye, Namjoon!”

As he walked away, Namjoon couldn’t deny the smile forming on his lips as he heard his cheerful goodbye.

For the next few weeks, Namjoon always sees Seokjin in the park every single day when he gets off work. He’s always there hanging out with a bunch of teenagers and children, doing different stuff everyday. One day they’re playing frisbee, the next they’re racing with remote-controlled helicopters, more often than not, they’re having robot fights.

But one night, Namjoon had to do overtime work so he left the office at almost midnight. His boss made them redo their work and added even more to it so he had no choice but to finish everything in one night so he won’t have too many backlogs.

As he was walking through the park, thinking if he should still eat dinner or straight to bed, he noticed a familiar face on one of the benches, holding an animal-shaped balloon in hand.

“Seokjin?” Namjoon called and the guy looked back at him with a bright smile.

“Namjoon!” Seokjin greeted him cheerfully and stood up. “I’m so glad you’re safe. I didn’t see you walking by the park earlier so I was worried that something happened to you.”

“Oh, just had to do overtime work.” Namjoon said. “Were you waiting for me?”

“Yes.” Seokjin nodded with a smile. “I was worried that something happened to you and I know it probably sounds weird but —“

Namjoon pulled him into a big hug. It was the first time that Namjoon felt someone truly cared for him. Sure, he has Yoongi and Hoseok but with them living in a different city, he really had no one in Seoul who cared for him. And for some reason, this gesture of Seokjin made him feel like someone cares for him and maybe life isn’t that bad after all.

When Namjoon pulled away, Seokjin was smiling at him and he noticed the tips of his ears turning red.

“Let’s get some ice cream.” Namjoon said with a smile.

“Gladly.” Seokjin said and jokingly bowed at him, making Namjoon giggle.

That night, the two sat in front of the convenience store with ice creams in their hands, talking about random things. Namjoon found out that Seokjin lived just a block away from his apartment, and how they absolutely loathe mayonnaise, and even got into a heated debate over who’s the best Spiderman.

The two walked together home and Seokjin walked Namjoon to his apartment first.

“Well, thank you, Seokjin.” Namjoon said with a smile. “It felt nice to have someone care about me.”

“Of course.” Seokjin said with a smile. “We may have gotten off on the wrong foot but I guess we’re good now?”

“I wouldn’t have bought you ice cream if we weren't.” Namjoon said with a chuckle.

“Right.” Seokjin laughed shyly. “Well, I should not take more of your time tonight so I’m going.”

Namjoon leaned forward and planted a small kiss on Seokjin’s cheeks. When he pulled away from him, he watched as his cheeks turned into a light blush under the streetlights.

“Get home safely.” Namjoon said.

“I will.” Seokjin said with a nod, his soul still out of his body as he started to walk away.

Namjoon just chuckled and watched Seokjin walk away and jump while screaming quietly when he thought he was already out of sight.

For the next few weeks, the two started texting each other everyday and ice cream has been their routine after Namjoon’s work. Seokjin tells Namjoon about what they did in the park that day, may it be robot-fighting, gymnastics (Namjoon was confused how), or even chess.

“How do you have so many hobbies?” Namjoon asked, ice cream in hand. “I don’t think I even have hobbies.”

“I don’t know, I just like trying out new things.” Seokjin said with a shrug. “Everything is interesting to try.”

“Sure, but do you really have to do it with a bunch of teenagers?” Namjoon asked.

“Those are not teenagers, they’re my friends, Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook.” Seokjin said. “The children you see surrounding us are just watching and we let them join sometimes. As long as their parents are around and aware, of course.”

“And your friends are not teenagers?” Namjoon asked.

“No.” Seokjin shook his head. “Jimin and Taehyung are the same age, they’re both 26. Jungkook’s our youngest, he just turned 25.”

“Oh.” Namjoon said. “And they always come and do all these things with you?”

“Yeah.” Seokjin simply nodded. “You know, you should join us sometimes. Or at least watch if you don’t want to participate. We’re having another epic robot battle duo on Thursday. Me and Taehyung versus Jimin and Jungkook.”

“A robot battle.” Namjoon said in disbelief. “Aren’t you a little too old for robots?”

“Epic robot battles are made for adults.” Seokjin said. “Take a break from your boring adult life and be a cool adult like us.”

“You’re a cool adult?” Namjoon asked jokingly with a chuckle. “We’re not sure about that.”

“If I’m not cool, those children won’t be watching me everyday, will they?” Seokjin said with a smug smile.

Namjoon rolled his eyes and Seokjin laughed at him. Hearing his laugh, Namjoon couldn’t help but smile too.

He went and watched them do a robot fight. Namjoon specifically asked to have his day off moved to Thursday so he can watch their fight. Seokjin was happy to see him too, waving at him happily while they’re in the middle of the fight and Taehyung screamed at him to focus if he didn't want to lose.

Namjoon couldn’t understand the intensity of the robot fight while everyone around them were screaming and cheering. In the end, Seokjin and Taehyung won, completely destroying Jungkook and Jimin’s robot. The two shared a hug — yes, with their own robot.

Some children and teenagers went on to ask for a photo with the robot, and some teenage girls also asked for a photo with Seokjin and Taehyung, which, of course, they agreed to.

Once the crowd had dispersed, Namjoon walked towards where the four friends were. He went to Seokjin with a smile and the other was already looking at him with a grin.

“Hey.” Namjoon said, walking towards him.

“Hey!” Seokjin greeted back, pulling Namjoon by the waist and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “Did you watch the fight?”

“Yes, I did.” Namjoon nodded. “I didn’t know robot fights get so intense.”

“Oh, this is just a prototype robot, like the level 1 of our creation.” Jungkook said while doing something to their robot. “It gets really intense.”

“Yeah, we’re developing a Mars Rover-like robot so we’re actually just training the wheels and such but we thought it would be fun to make them fight so we added some features.” Taehyung said.

“Oh right, this is Jimin,” Seokjin said, pointing at the smaller guy with thick lips and blonde hair, “right there is Jungkook,” he pointed at the guy as tall as Seokjin and arms full of tattoos, “and here is Taehyung.” Seokjin said, putting his arm around the guy standing next to him with brown, curly hair.

“Nice to meet you.” Namjoon told them, shaking their hands.

“So you’re Namjoon?” Taehyung asked. “Seokjin hyung can’t stop talking about you.”

“All good things, I hope?” Namjoon said jokingly.

“Of course!” Jungkook said. “Like how you have adorable dimples, and melodious laugh, and strong arms, and —“

“Okay, I’m hungry, let’s go celebrate our win, Taehyung.” Seokjin cut off Jungkook by placing his over the younger’s mouth.

The five of them went to a grill restaurant and celebrated the win together, Seokjin paying for their meal. It was past ten in the evening when they decided to finish up dinner. Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook all went home together while Seokjin walked Namjoon home and stopped by to get their usual ice cream.

“I had fun today.” Namjoon said as they walked and ate their cones. “It was fun watching the robots fight.”

“Right?” Seokjin said with a chuckle. “If you’d like, you can watch us again in two weeks. We’re developing our robots and we’ll have another robot fight to test how sturdy it is.”

“What’s up with you guys and your robots?” Namjoon asked. “I’ve seen you a lot of times with different types of robots in the park.”

“We’re robotics engineers.” Seokjin said nonchalantly. “It’s our job to develop robots and we just make it extra fun by doing the robot fights.”

“You are?” Namjoon asked in a high-pitched voice.

“Yeah.” Seokjin nodded. “I thought you would’ve known since, like you said, you’ve seen me a lot of times with robots in the park.”

“Yeah, but I assumed it was just a hobby or something.” Namjoon said. “I didn’t know you’re actually making robots for work.”

“Well, yeah.” Seokjin chuckled.

“This is the first time you told me about your work, tell me more about it.” Namjoon said. “I’m always the one ranting about work and stuff.”

“It’s really not much.” Seokjin shrugged. “We have researchers then they tell us what to do, we brainstorm and we get to work. Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung and I are a team working on a NASA project right now so don’t tell anyone because I’m not even supposed to tell anyone that.”

“We’ve been dating for months and you didn’t tell me how cool you are.” Namjoon said.

Seokjin stopped in his tracks and Namjoon looked back at him. He’s standing directly under the streetlight, so it looks like he’s on a spotlight which made Namjoon smile.

“W-we’re dating?” Seokjin asked.

“Are we not?” Namjoon asked back.

“No, no, yes, we are dating, yes.” Seokjin said, nodding.

“Good, I thought I was hallucinating that one.” Namjoon said. “I’m actually just waiting for you to ask me to be your boyfriend.”

Namjoon turned his back and continued walking. Seokjin, red-faced and heart racing, suddenly spoke.

“Will you be my boyfriend?” Seokjin asked.

“Hmm?” Namjoon looked back at him.

Seokjin threw his remaining ice cream in a trash can nearby and walked towards Namjoon. He held his hands in his, suddenly all cold and sweaty, and looked right at Namjoon’s eyes.

“Kim Namjoon, will you be my boyfriend?” Seokjin asked.

“I would love to.” Namjoon said with a smile and placed a small peck on Seokjin’s lips.

“Is this a boyfriend privilege only? Because I’m already liking this.” Seokjin said.

Namjoon chuckled and shook his head at his boyfriend’s silliness. He leaned forward again to kiss his now-boyfriend Seokjin and this time, it’s longer and more passionate. They felt each other’s smiles and when they pulled away, they both laughed shyly as their arms found their way in each other’s waists.

The first time Namjoon took Seokjin home to his family was on Christmas, six months since they decided to make their relationship as boyfriends official. He never took home any boyfriends for his parents to meet, he’s not even sure if his family knows he’s gay when he never actually came out to them.

Namjoon’s nervous, really nervous, actually. The last time he saw his parents was on his Mom’s birthday around three months ago and the topic of him being in a relationship didn’t actually come up. They were too busy smothering his younger sister’s children.

“We’re here.” Namjoon announced as soon as they stepped foot on his family home, Seokjin following behind him.

“Wow, you came.” His younger sister, Nami, greeted with a mischievous smile with her daughter in her arms.

“The one time we only see each other and you start with a comment like that?” Namjoon jokingly said and hugged her and her daughter.

“Oh my Namjoon!” They both turned to see their mom with open arms and his dad behind her.

“My darling son, I missed you.” His mom said, holding both of Namjoon’s cheeks and kissing them.

“And all I got was where are the kids.” Nami said, shaking her head.

“Oh, please, you didn’t want to hug.” Their mother said and smiled back at Namjoon. “How are you, dear?”

“I’m okay.” Namjoon said with a smile.

“And who’s this handsome man with you?” His mother asked, looking at Seokjin who was standing behind Namjoon.

“Oh, right, um, this is, uh, Seokjin. My…” Namjoon introduced and when his eyes darted to his father, he gulped and looked back at his mother. “Friend.”

“Oh, goodie!” His mom said and pushed aside Namjoon for a bit. “Welcome, sweetie. Such a handsome boy.”

“Thank you.” Seokjin said before he got pulled into a hug. He looked right into Namjoon’s eyes, eyebrows slightly furrowed and full of disappointment.

Namjoon knew he fucked up. Big time. His parents lead Seokjin to the guest room while Namjoon to his childhood room. After unloading his baggage, Namjoon went out to go to the guest room to see Seokjin but he wasn’t there.

He let out a heavy sigh. He really fucked it up. He shouldn’t have introduced him as a friend but he chickened out. Namjoon never actually came out to his parents and suddenly brought home a boyfriend? He didn’t think this through.

He thought he was ready, he thought he could do it, but looking at his father, fear overpowered his love for Seokjin. He panicked and omitted the boy in “boyfriend”.

Namjoon went down to the living room and that’s when he saw Seokjin in the kitchen, helping his mother serve their Christmas dinner. The two were conversing with such bright smiles and light laughter that Namjoon felt like he’s watching a family movie.

It wasn’t long when his mother saw him and called him over. “Namjoon, darling, come on and help us. Get those plates on the table.”

Namjoon simply nodded and obliged. Namjoon and Seokjin walked past each other through the kitchen and the dining room and the silence was deafening despite the Christmas carols playing in the living room speakers. 

“Namjoon, dear, call down your dad and your sister for dinner.” His mother said.

“Okay.” Namjoon nodded.

Namjoon knocked on his sister’s room first before opening the door. He saw Nami breast-feeding her youngest, Jiyeon, and Namjoon looked away, literally anywhere in the room, as he walked towards her.

“Will never get used to seeing your breasts out.” Namjoon said, hands in his pockets.

“Come on, it’s natural, touch them.” Nami teased with a playful smirk.

“Ew, you’re disgusting.” Namjoon said with a disgusted look. “Anyway, dinner’s ready.”

“Okay, we’ll be down in a bit.” Nami said. “Jinyoung’s with dad.”

“Yep, I’ll call them too.” Namjoon said and turned his back to leave.

“Hey, hey.” Nami said, stopping Namjoon from leaving the room.

“Hmm?” Namjoon hummed.

“That guy down there, Seokjin,” Nami said, “what’s his deal?”

“What do you mean?” Namjoon asked, raising an eyebrow at his sister.

“He’s not just a friend, isn’t he?” Nami asked.

“What are you saying?” Namjoon asked, droplets of sweat forming on his forehead.

“Oh, come on, Oppa, I wasn’t born yesterday. We grew up together and you think I wouldn’t know?” Nami asked. “Playing teatime with me, dressing me up as a Princess, letting me put makeup on you?”

“I’m just being a good brother to you, I’ve always longed for a sibling.” Namjoon said.

“You can’t fool me like you fool mom and dad.” Nami said. “I understand if you do not want to come out but I know you inside-out. Every single molecule in your body.”

“Stop making it weird.” Namjoon said. “And fine, okay. I’m gay. Happy?”

“Not exactly.” Nami said with a shrug and walked towards her brother, Jiyeon still in her arms and latched on her nipple. “So, that Seokjin guy…”

“He’s my…” Namjoon said and took a deep breath. “Look, I think you know. Do I have to say it?”

“Yes!” Nami said. “Come on, introducing him as a friend, that must’ve hurt him so bad. Especially on Christmas day?”

“I know and I feel sorry, okay?” Namjoon said. “I saw Dad and I just panicked. I thought I was ready but I didn’t think it through and I just wanted to be with him this holiday without compromising our family’s holiday.”

“Oh look, another series of Namjoon making bad decisions.” Nami teased.

“You’re one to talk.” Namjoon fired back.

“My babies may be accidents but we love them.” Nami said and placed a kiss on her daughter’s forehead.

“Where’s that husband of yours anyway?” Namjoon asked.

“That husband of mine has a name and he’s coming in the morning because his boss did not let him get his holiday off.” Nami said. “He’ll be ours on New Year's though so not too bad.”

“Good.” Namjoon nodded. “Because I’ll strangle him if he just leaves you.”

“That’s very flattering to hear.” Nami said with a laugh. “Anyway, what’s your plan?”

“Apologize to him, of course.” Namjoon said.

“You better.” Nami said. “Because I like him.”

“Back off, you’re married.” Namjoon said.

“Not in that sense, oh my god, you’re so possessive.” Nami laughed. “I like him for you. He’s a good man.”

Namjoon stayed quiet for a while before letting out a sigh and gave Nami a pursed smile.

“Just get down for dinner.” Namjoon said.

“We’ll be right down.” Nami said. “And I’ll call dad for you. I know things are still… awkward between you two.”

“Thank you, Nami.” Namjoon said and hugged his sister, placing a soft kiss on her forehead.

Namjoon left the room and headed straight downstairs. Seokjin is pouring juice in everyone’s cup while his mother is fixing the napkins on the plate.

Once everyone was gathered, they sat down together on the dining table. Surprisingly, his mother asked Seokjin to sit beside her and the man obliged happily. They’re sitting face-to-face yet Seokjin doesn’t give him even a single glance.

The dinner went alright, it was quiet and they just ate together, complimenting the matriarch’s cooking. Jinyoung, Nami’s 5-year-old, refused to eat his vegetables and his mother is losing her patience already.

Seokjin had noticed and he thought he should help.

“Jinyoung, right?” Seokjin asked, looking at Nami who nodded in response. “Jinyoung, do you know why we should eat vegetables?”

“To be a big boy?” The kid answered with a pout.

“Yes.” Seokjin nodded. “Do you want to see your sister grow big and you stay small?”

“No, I don’t want to.” Jinyoung shook his head.

“Then you should eat your vegetables.” Seokjin said.

“But they’re icky.” The kid said.

“I know, buddy, but if you don’t want to stay small, you should eat your veggies.” Seokjin said. “Did you see how tall your Uncle Namjoon is? Don’t you want to be as big as him?”

“I want to.” Jinyoung nodded. “Did mommy not eat her veggies, that's why she’s smaller than Uncle Namjoon?”

“Yes, your mommy always sets aside her vegetables.” Namjoon replied while his sister shot daggers at him through her eyes. “That’s why you should eat plenty of vegetables so we can both become tall.”

“Okay.” Jinyoung said. “But slowly?”

“Okay, slowly.” Seokjin nodded at him with a comforting smile.

The little kid ate a piece of broccoli and everyone clapped. Feeling prideful, Jinyoung ate more to prove that he wants to grow as much as his Uncle Namjoon.

Namjoon looked at Seokjin and gave him a smile while the latter just gave him a small nod.

Christmas eve gets deeper and the families are all in their rooms to get some sleep. Namjoon is in his room and Seokjin in the guest room where he’s just laying on the bed after changing into his favorite Christmas pajamas and scrolling through his phone.

Namjoon let out a breath as he raised his fist and knocked on Seokjin’s door. He opened it lightly and peeked his head through, seeing Seokjin laying on the bed with his head turned to him. He went back to his position on the bed to continue scrolling.

Namjoon entered the room and he sat on the side of the bed where Seokjin’s back was turned.

“Hey.” Namjoon said. Seokjin just hummed in response. “Are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be?” Seokjin replied.

“You’ve been giving me the cold shoulder.” Namjoon said. “Look, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Seokjin asked, still not sparing a glance at Namjoon.

“For introducing you as just a friend.” Namjoon said. “I saw dad and I just panicked. I never really came out to them so they have no idea that I am… you know… gay.”

Seokjin sits up and turns to face him. He crosses his legs in front of him and looks at Namjoon who’s already looking at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Seokjin asked. “I would’ve understood.”

“I’m sorry.” Namjoon said, holding his hand.

Seokjin pulls him into a hug and kisses him on the lips before letting the younger rest his head on his chest and wrap his arms around Seokjin’s small waist.

“I’ll admit I was hurt.” Seokjin said, drawing circles on Namjoon’s arm. “But it’s Christmas. And I love you. And you apologized.”

Namjoon laughed and looked up to kiss Seokjin again, both lips forming a smile.

“Why did you take me home to your parents if you haven’t even told them about yourself?” Seokjin asked.

“I thought I was ready.” Namjoon said, caressing Seokjin’s fingers in his hand. “I would just come home, introduce you as my boyfriend and call it a day. It was… harder than I expected.”

“It’s okay, baby, we don’t have to tell them anything.” Seokjin said, sweeping Namjoon’s hair away from his eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Namjoon said and gave his boyfriend another kiss.

That night, while Seokjin is sleeping soundly with his nose buried on Namjoon’s beck and arms draped over his boyfriend’s stomach, Namjoon lays awake, staring at the guest room’s bedroom door.

He loves Seokjin so much, he really does, but at his age, he still continues to see his parents’ validation. Since he was a kid, all he wanted to hear from his parents was the simple phrase of “I’m proud of you”. He heard them say it to his sister when she gave birth to her first child, even to her second, yet Namjoon has never heard it in his life. Not even once.

He doesn’t remember when it started — the seeking of validation. He thinks that ever since he gained consciousness, that’s literally all he ever wanted. Three-year-old Namjoon bagged all the awards that can be possibly given to a kindergarten, heck, he was even excelled to the 2nd grade, then to 6th grade when he literally aced his 4th grade.

Namjoon is an incredibly intelligent child for his age, he’s joined tons of competitions and won all of them yet he’s never heard the phrase he’s longing to hear. He did the same during highschool, even during College, but after all that, still not a single “proud of you”. 

Well, one if you count his sister after he got his Master’s degree and she just pushed out her second child.

After that, he distanced himself from his family. He’s still in their family group chat, reading messages every now and then, but he never really messaged them until he was asked directly. Even sending a simple emoji to answer feels too much for him already.

Namjoon lets out a sigh and turns over to face Seokjin’s sleeping figure.

He looks so peaceful, his mouth opened lightly and small snores coming out of lips. Seokjin must’ve been so tired after driving them for hours and the first thing Namjoon did was introduce him as a friend. God, now he feels bad all over again.

Namjoon places his hand over Seokjin’s blushy cheek and caresses them lightly. Seokjin, a very light sleeper, snuggled his face closer to Namjoon’s hand — if that’s even possible — and fluttered his eyes open. He smiles when he sees his boyfriend already staring at him and he places his hand over Namjoon’s hand on his cheek.

“Why are you still awake?” He asked, voice hoarse from sleep.

“Was just about to.” Namjoon said with a pursed smile.

“Good, go to sleep.” Seokjin said. “Or I’ll open your presents without you.”

Namjoon chuckled. “Okay.”

Seokjin opened his eyes wider, his sight adjusting to focus on Namjoon. “Is that ‘okay, I’ll sleep now’ or ‘okay, you can open my presents without me’ okay?”

“Okay, I’ll go to sleep now.” Namjoon let out a lighthearted laugh.

“Okay.” Seokjin nodded after the clarification. “Go to sleep.”

He placed a soft kiss on the tip of Namjoon’s button nose and closed his eyes to go back to sleep with a smile on his lips.

Namjoon feels like he could burst right now. How can someone as beautiful and caring as Seokjin love him? Namjoon feels like he’s being unfair that Seokjin is doing everything for him and he’s even having second thoughts to do just the bare minimum. He lets out a sigh as he traces Seokjin’s cheek.

“Sleep, Namjoon.” Seokjin spoke, eyes still closed.

“Yep, sleep.” Namjoon nodded, a fond smile on his lips as he closed his eyes in an attempt to sleep.

The morning of Christmas day, they saw piles of snow outside. It turns out that snow started falling last night just as they went to bed so they weren’t able to catch it. The children were too excited to go out and play with snow, Seokjin too, but Namjoon’s mom said that they should open their gifts first and warm themselves with hot chocolate.

Namjoon’s mom prepared everyone a hot glass of chocolate, little marshmallows on top of the white whipped cream. Seokjin is like an overly-excited kid, a grin was on his face as he accepted the drink and took a sip that led to him having a whipped cream mustache. The children laughed and followed his actions, giving themselves mustaches.

They’re in the living room now, Namjoon wrapped in a blanket and wearing two layers of socks while Seokjin’s still in his pajamas and hair sticking out everywhere from just being out of bed. Seokjin sat on the floor and Jinyoung took this as an opportunity to sit on his lap and the older one welcomed him gladly.

Namjoon’s mother handed out the gifts and even though Seokjin was an unannounced guest, she was still able to whip him up a knitted sweater. Seokjin gave her a warm hug and thanked her as he pulled it over his head immediately. Namjoon smiles at how happy Seokjin looks.

After the giving of gifts, Seokjin and Jinyoung were now outside playing with the snow. They started building a snowman and castles, and somehow ended up into a snowball fight with Seokjin as the target. Namjoon stood by the doorway, watching them with a fond smile.

“He’s good with children.” Nami suddenly said, making Namjoon jump on his feet with a gasp.

“Jesus, stop appearing from thin air, you witch.” Namjoon said, clutching his chest.

“Jesus and witch in a sentence. Nice.” Nami said with a mischievous smile.

Namjoon shook his head and focused his attention back to Seokjin who’s currently being tackled by a kid and snow being shoved on his face.

“Your kid’s brutal.” Namjoon chuckled. “Wonder where he got it from.”

“Probably his dad.” Nami shrugged, feigning innocence.

“Said by the person who kicked my shin that caused me to hit my head on a cabinet.” Namjoon said. “The scar lives on.”

“And that’s a story to tell your kids.” Nami said. “Not my kids though, they’ll do it in a heartbeat.”

“I can totally see it.” Namjoon agreed.

Nami let out a chuckle. “I’m filing for divorce.”

“Oh.” Was all Namjoon could say.

“Bummer to say on Christmas Day.” Nami said with a chuckle.

“I’m so sorry, Nami.” Namjoon said, placing a hand on his sister’s shoulder.

Nami smiled with pursed lips, holding back the tears threatening to fall. Watching her son play with Seokjin, she can’t help but wish that he had a father like that in his life, someone who’s willing to play with him anytime he wants.

Seeing a tear fall on his sister’s cheek, he pulls her into a hug. Nami fists Namjoon’s pajamas tightly, as she lets out quiet sobs in his chest. He brings her inside the kitchen, giving her a glass of water to calm down.

Turns out that the bastard has been cheating on Nami for quite some time now. To say that Namjoon is furious is an understatement, he wants the asshole gone. Dead or alive, he wants him completely gone, dissolved, whooshed. His sister and her children deserve so much better than a lying, cheating asshole.

After Seokjin and Jinyoung were finished playing with snow — and both of their cheeks and ears were as red as tomatoes — they went to the kitchen to warm themselves up. Jinyoung was so excited to tell about how fun it was playing with Seokjin and Seokjin to Namjoon.

Namjoon is extremely endeared.

The holiday had to come to an end, unfortunately, and Jinyoung was already latching on Seokjin’s leg by the end of the day. Sadly, Nami had to take him away from Seokjin.

“Mommy, can I go with them?” Jinyoung asked. “Please, please, please?”

“We’ll visit them soon, baby, don’t be sad.” Nami comforted her child.

“Yeah, let’s see each other soon, little buddy.” Seokjin said, giving him a fistbump.

“Maybe you can spend the New Year’s with us?” Namjoon offered.

“Ooh, are we invited?” Their mom suddenly appeared with their dad tailing her.

“Um, sure.” Namjoon nodded. “Um, it would be fun.”

“You can say if you don’t want us there, it’s no problem.” His dad said.

“No, we want you there.” Namjoon nodded.

“Seems like you’re being forced.” His dad said.

Namjoon sighed, knowing he’ll never win. “Fine, do whatever you want. Go, not go, it’s up to you.”

“See, he doesn’t even want us there.” His dad said to his mom.

“Honey.” His mom scolds his dad with a hushed voice.

“We’re leaving.” Namjoon said, turning his back and opening the front door to leave with his suitcase.

“Thank you so much for welcoming me to your warm home this Christmas.” Seokjin said with a warm smile, and Namjoon’s mom gave him a hug.

“You’re welcome anytime, dear!” She said, patting Seokjin’s cheeks. “You’re such a handsome young man like my son.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Kim.” Seokjin said with a smile. “Thank you so much too, Mr. Kim. And Nami.”

“Thank you, Seokjin-ssi.” Nami said, hugging Seokjin. “We’ll see you on New Year's Day.”

Seokjin patted her back and gave them one last wave before getting into the car where Namjoon’s already settled. He drove off from their driveway and off to the highway they went to.

Seokjin noticed a particularly quiet Namjoon in the passenger seat who hasn’t said a single word in their 30-minute ride so far. He places a hand on his boyfriend’s thigh as he continues driving.

“You okay?” Seokjin asks.

“Yeah.” Namjoon nodded. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’ve been awfully quiet.” Seokjin said. “You sure?”

“Yes.” Namjoon nodded.

“Okay.” Seokjin said.

“Okay, fine, I’m just a little pissed that Dad thinks I hate him and doesn’t want him to be with us on New Year’s.” Namjoon said.

“Well, do you want him to be?” Seokjin asked.

“He’s family, I can’t not invite him.” Namjoon said with a shrug.

“But do you want him to go?” Seokjin pushes.

Namjoon sighed and held Seokjin’s hand. “It’s not that I don’t want him to be there, it’s just that it’d be more comfortable if it’s just us and Nami and the kids, you know. They never really wanted to spend New Year’s with me before and now they’re suddenly interested.”

“I understand.” Seokjin nodded. “We can cancel and just spend the New Year’s quietly. You know, just in bed, we can order in and watch the fireworks through the window.”

“No, Dad would think that I cancelled it because I don’t want him here.” Namjoon said. “Ugh, whatever.”

“We’ll somehow make it work, okay?” Seokjin said. “Surely we can arrange something.”

Namjoon smiles and looks at his boyfriend. He leaned forward to place a kiss on his cheek which made Seokjin smile.

“What’s that for?” Seokjin asked.

“For being an amazing boyfriend.” Namjoon said with a smile, intertwining their fingers.

“How can I not be an amazing boyfriend when I have the best boyfriend?” Seokjin says, making Namjoon blush.

In between the Christmas and New Year’s, Seokjin has been busy with work and other stuff. Namjoon is preparing for the arrival of his family for New Year’s and he’s feeling extra pressure that he cleaned his apartment literally five times in one day.

When Seokjin came to Namjoon’s apartment with the furniture rearranged once again, Seokjin knew he had to intervene. Namjoon is rearranging the couch again and he couldn’t help but sigh.

“Hey.” Seokjin greeted and leaned down to kiss Namjoon. “What are you up to?”

“I just don’t know if the couch looks better here or on the other side.” Namjoon said, standing up and wiping away his sweat.

“Namjoon, honey, slow down, baby.” Seokjin said, holding Namjoon by the shoulders and sitting him down on the couch. “You’re tired.”

“I’m not, I need to finish rearranging the living room, they’re arriving tomorrow.” Namjoon said, attempting to stand up but Seokjin pushed him back down.

“No, sit back down and do not move.” Seokjin said and removed the pink kitchen gloves from Namjoon’s hands. “You look like you haven’t eaten all day, I’ll whip you up something.”

Seokjin went over to the kitchen to make a quick dinner for Namjoon. He made a simple tofu kimchi soup and served it in a bowl. He brought it to the living room where Namjoon was rearranging the vases again. Seokjin sighed and placed the tray of food on the coffee table.

“Namjoon, honey, stop.” Seokjin said, holding Namjoon’s shoulder.

“I just need to —“

“Baby, please, just sit down and eat.” Seokjin said. “Please.”

Namjoon sighs in defeat and nods at him. They sat on the couch and Seokjin took the bowl in his hand to feed Namjoon. He looks at his poor boyfriend who looks extremely tired and stressed from cleaning his whole apartment.

“My poor baby.” Seokjin says, sweeping Namjoon’s hair from his eyes. “Why are you pushing yourself too much?”

“I just want everything to be perfect.” Namjoon says. “It’s the first time they’re coming to visit me and I want everything to be perfect.”

“Nothing’s perfect, baby.” Seokjin says, caressing his cheek. “Don’t push yourself too much to achieve something that can never be achieved.”

“I want to impress my parents.” Namjoon said. “All my life, I’ve been walking behind someone’s shadow, I never had my own personality growing up because I copied the traits and manners of someone who my parents compare me to. At this point, I’m not even sure if this is the real me. I don’t —“ He sighs in defeat. “I don’t know who I am, Seokjin.”

Seokjin hugs Namjoon and the younger buries his head on his boyfriend’s chest, inhaling his comforting scent.

“I don’t understand what you’re going through so I’m not even gonna pretend but you don’t have to keep this up, Namjoon.” Seokjin says, rubbing his boyfriend’s arm. “It’s never too late to find yourself and embrace who you are. And I’ll love you no matter what. And I know your family will too.”

“They could never.” Namjoon shook his head. “My parents aren’t like that. They have really high standards and no matter what I do, I could never reach it.”

“Then stop trying.” Seokjin says. “Namjoon, honey, you need to let go and stop putting pressure on yourself. All these cleaning, all these rearranging of furniture, your parents never told you to have a specific place for these things. If you keep boxing yourself to their standards, you can never be free. You can never be truly happy.”

Namjoon was quiet for a while. He sits up and looks at Seokjin with a pout.

“My therapist did tell me that too.” Namjoon said.

“Stop meeting your therapist and pay me to tell your worries instead.” Seokjin joked with a smile, trying to lighten the mood.

This made Namjoon laugh and lightly smacked Seokjin’s shoulder. He snuggles next to his boyfriend again and Seokjin wraps his arm around him.

“I was just kidding though, don’t stop seeing your therapist.” Seokjin said.

“I know.” Namjoon chuckled. “But thank you. For comforting me.”

“Of course, honey. I’m your boyfriend.” Seokjin said and placed a kiss on Namjoon’s forehead. “It’s my duty to comfort you and make you happy.”

“Where have you been all my life?” Namjoon asked, pulling his boyfriend down by his collar to kiss his lips.

“Probably making robots in our office.” Seokjin said in between their kisses, making Namjoon laugh.

The day came too fast and Namjoon’s family arrived before they were even awake. Seokjin spent the night in Namjoon’s apartment after their talk and they both fell asleep on Namjoon’s fluffy and soft bed.

Seokjin was the first to be awakened by the multiple rings of Namjoon’s doorbell. He got out of bed, careful not to wake Namjoon up and he didn’t even bother to put on a shirt anymore. Eyes still half-closed and hair messy from sleeping, he opened Namjoon’s front door.

And he heard a loud gasp.

“Seokjin-ssi!”

Seokjin’s eyes widened when he saw Nami and Namjoon’s parents behind her that he panicked and closed the door on them. Seokjin ran back to the bedroom, knocking over some things, and grabbed his shirt to wear it, fixed his hair a bit, rubbed his eyes, and took a deep breath before opening the front door again with a welcoming smile.

“Hi!” Seokjin said, pulling Nami into a hug. “Wow, you guys are early!”

“You’re early too.” Namjoon’s dad said, walking inside.

“Yeah, um, just had to help Namjoon clean up a bit.” Seokjin said and closed the door when they entered.

“Seokjin hyung!” Jinyoung exclaimed, and Seokjin carried him in his arms.

“Hey, little bud.” Seokjin said with a smile, ruffling his hair. He looks back at the family, and places Jinyoung back on the floor. “I’ll just, um, call Namjoon. Please feel comfortable on the couch.”

“Wow, Oppa’s apartment is so huge.” Seokjin heard Nami say as he starts power-walking to Namjoon’s room.

Seokjin quietly closed Namjoon’s bedroom door and went over to his side to wake him up.

“Namjoon. Baby, honey, wake up.” Seokjin said, shaking his shoulder.

“Hmm?” Namjoon asked, fluttering his eyes open. “What? What happened?”

“Your family’s here.” Seokjin said, which was enough to make Namjoon sit up.

“What?!” Namjoon said and looked at his phone to check the time. “It’s freaking 7am, who the hell goes to visit at 7am?!”

“Your family apparently.” Seokjin says, sitting on the bed.

“Did you open the door for them?” Namjoon asked.

“How else would they enter?” Seokjin said.

“Oh no.” Namjoon said, burying his face in his hands. “What did they say?”

“Nothing, I told them I came here early to help you clean.” Seokjin said. “But I think it would be best if I leave now since there’s literally nothing to clean anymore.”

“Kiss me first before you leave.” Namjoon said, pouting.

Seokjin laughed and placed a kiss on Namjoon’s lips. “I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Don’t even wait until tonight, just come over immediately.” Namjoon said, latching his arms on Seokjin’s neck and placing his head on his chest.

“Okay, as soon as we’re done with the meeting at the office today.” Seokjin said with a smile. “Oh wait, I’ll be cooking something for tonight too. But I’ll come over as soon as I’m done.”

“Okay.” Namjoon said and let go of Seokjin. “I love you. One more kiss.”

“I love you too.” Seokjin says and kisses him again. “Get up now, your family’s waiting outside.”

Namjoon groans and falls back on his bed. Seokjin chuckles and holds him by his wrists, pulling him up from the bed. “Come on, get up. I’ll order breakfast so you don’t have to cook anymore.”

“No, no, I can make pancakes.” Namjoon said, finally taking the blankets off him.

“I’m trying to prevent a fire here, Namjoon, we have children in the house.” Seokjin said, dialing on his phone already.

Seokjin was the first to leave the bedroom and he was talking to the restaurant on the phone. Namjoon’s family sees him and he bows to them, gesturing that he’s leaving. Jinyoung wanted to run to him but Nami held his arm.

Namjoon came out next, still in bed head and eyes puffy. He watched Seokjin leave first and Jinyoung was already latching on his legs, asking about Seokjin.

The whole day that Namjoon was left alone with his family felt like a torture. He wonders how he survived living with them for more than two decades or did he even actually survive. His dad is not really saying anything which makes Namjoon feel more uneasy because he’s probably judging him and his place quietly.

It’s not like he has a bad relationship with his father, it’s just that… okay, maybe he does have a toxic relationship with him. In Namjoon’s defense, he didn’t do anything wrong, all he really did was please them. Their validation meant the world to him but he’s never really received it.

So as soon as Namjoon heard his doorbell ring, he ran towards it like a puppy who’s excited to finally see his owner again. He opened the door and there was Seokjin, holding a pot of whatever it was he cooked. Namjoon felt like he could cry just seeing Seokjin again.

“You’re finally back.” Namjoon said as they walked towards the kitchen.

“Yeah, the meeting went longer than we expected.” Seokjin said, and he briefly greeted Namjoon’s family who’s in the living room. “It went well though, we’re on the final stage now so we have to just put some finishing touches on the robot and then they’ll get sent to the International Space Station.”

“Wow, that’s —“

“You’re sending robots to space?” Nami asked, eyes widened in amusement.

“Um, yeah, it’s kind of my work.” Seokjin said with a smile, placing the pot he was carrying on Namjoon’s kitchen counter.

“Holy fuck, you’re cool.” Nami said.

“Perhaps you’d want to date Mr. Seokjin, Nami!” Their mom chimed in, making Namjoon and Seokjin tense up and look at each other.

“What? Pfft, no way.” Nami laughed. “I don’t think I can accept being the ugly one in the relationship.”

“Oh no, don’t say that. You’re absolutely gorgeous.” Seokjin came to the defense, which he also realized that Nami is literally Namjoon with longer hair.

“Oh, I know.” Nami nodded in agreement. “It’s just that you’re much more handsome and attractive.”

“Thank you.” Seokjin said, bowing to her.

“You’re both beautiful, why don’t you at least try dating?” Their mother pushed.

“Okay, mom, that’s enough.” Namjoon said, placing an arm around her and leading her to the living room. “Seokjin is a guest and let’s not grill him with so many questions. He’ll date whoever he wants.”

“But they—“

“Mom, just drop it.” Namjoon said, sitting her on the couch. “Let’s not be a control freak of someone’s life, okay? He’s not your son.”

“Why are you calling your mother a control freak?” His father asked, eyebrows furrowed.

Namjoon sighs and looks at his dad. “Because she’s trying to control Seokjin’s life the way she did with mine and Nami’s.”

“And? You both turned out the way you are right now so what’s the problem?” His father said.

Namjoon couldn’t help but laugh in amusement. “What’s the problem? Really? What’s the problem?” Nami and Seokjin go to the living room when they hear Namjoon’s voice getting louder. “Do you think we like the way we turned out?”

“You’re both living great lives, what else do you both want?” His father fired back and the tension is getting heavier.

“Honey…” Namjoon’s mother tried stopping his father and Seokjin held Namjoon’s wrist which the younger pushed away.

“Great lives? You have got to be kidding me.” Namjoon said sarcastically. “I spent days rearranging everything in this house, cleaning all sides and corners because I want to impress you. Seokjin found me almost passed out because I hadn’t eaten anything trying to perfect everything in this stupid house.”

Jinyoung ran towards his mother and Nami brought him to the guest room where his younger sister was sleeping. She closed the door behind them so the children won’t hear the commotion outside.

“All my life, all I’ve ever wanted was to hear you say you’re proud of me.” Namjoon said, his voice breaking and tears threatening to fall. “All my life, I kept pretending to be someone who’s better than me, copying whoever gets compared to me because you always say it would be nice to have them as their kid. And what about your kids? Huh? Are we not enough for you that you want someone else to be your children?”

“Namjoon, honey, it’s not like that.” His mother said. “We just wanted you to see them as an example.”

“And I did, mom.” Namjoon nodded. “I did. And now, I don’t know who I really am. I always pretend to be someone else and now that I’m all alone, I don’t know who the hell I am. Am I even actually smart? Am I actually kind? What if I just also copied that from someone because I wanted you both to be proud of me?”

“We never asked you to copy someone.” His dad said.

“You implied.” Namjoon said. “That’s why I couldn’t wait to move out. I feel like if I spend one more year in that house, I will completely lose the very small part of myself that’s already hanging by a thread.”

“You are very selfish.” His dad said, pointing his finger at Namjoon. “You never visited once, you don’t even read our messages. You tossed us away like some garbage you need to get rid of.”

“When you’ve made me feel like shit my whole life?!” Namjoon was almost screaming now, and Seokjin had to hold him back. “ You never visited me, you never —“

“Namjoon, please calm down.” Seokjin said, trying to calm him down.

“Please stop already.” His mother is tearing up, seeing his son get mad like this.

Namjoon took a sharp breath, still glaring at his dad. He can’t even see a hint of remorse in his face which made Namjoon even more furious.

“Do you even know I’m gay?” Namjoon asked.

It was silent for a while. Even Seokjin was shocked and couldn’t say anything. Namjoon’s mom’s looking at him with mouth agape and eyes widened.

“J-joonie?” His mom stuttered.

“I’m gay.” Namjoon repeated. “And Seokjin is my boyfriend.”

Heavy tension hung in the air and no one dared to speak. No one wanted to talk nor move, everyone’s just rooted in their places. For the first time ever, Seokjin understood how silence can be so loud.

A minute felt like forever and no one still talked. Namjoon’s mother held his cheeks and hugged him all of a sudden. Namjoon was confused, and he looked at Seokjin who had nothing to say as well. His mother pulled away from him and caressed Namjoon’s cheeks, wiping away his tears.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” She asked.

“Because I don’t want you to love me any less.” Namjoon said.

“Do you really believe that?” His father asked but his voice in a much softer tone, walking towards them. “Namjoon, we’re not that shallow.”

“You can’t even accept me as I am growing up.”

“Oh, honey, that’s not true.” His mother said, tears falling down her cheeks. “We are so sorry that we didn’t understand each other. We, as your parents, should have been more careful and attentive of you. We were too busy working for you and your sister that we thought giving you everything you want and need covers our responsibility as parents.”

They were quiet. Namjoon wasn’t really expecting his mother to apologize or explain their way of parenting back then. He was expecting them to fire back every sacrifice they made or maybe walk out, literally anything except apologizing.

“But that’s not just it.” Namjoon said. “Every single day, you two would fight over the stupidest things that Nami couldn’t even sleep properly. She cries almost every night, wishing for the both of you to stop fighting and just love each other as you should be.”

“We didn’t know we fight so often.” His dad admitted. “Life was tough, the budget was tight and we were both so tired all the time. I know it’s a shitty excuse but that’s just how it was back then.”

“We are really sorry, dear.” His mom said, holding both of Namjoon’s hands. “We are really sorry to you and Nami. We haven’t been the best parents and we are ashamed of it.”

Namjoon can’t help but tear up. He pulled his mother into a hug, long and tight, crying into each other’s arms. His dad joined in and shortly, Nami also came jumping over them to join the hug. Seokjin smiled warmly as he watched the family together.

“Seokjin oppa, come on! Join us!” Nami said with a grin.

“No, no, I shouldn’t. It’s your family, cherish it.” Seokjin declined politely.

“Come on, sport.” Namjoon’s dad said. “You’re part of the family.”

“Dad…” Namjoon said, crying even more.

Seokjin smiled and joined the family’s hug.

Their New Year’s dinner was better than Namjoon — actually, any of them — expected. Namjoon wondered why they waited all these years to communicate their own feelings. Maybe because he thought his parents never cared, or that they will never listen to anything he says.

Oh, what a fool he was.

It was still a little awkward since they’re not used to being open nor lovingly during these kinds of occasions but everyone was at ease. Seokjin took this as an opportunity to be the icebreaker, especially with his quirky stories and adventures.

Even Nami was amused that Seokjin made a robot that plays rock, paper, scissors just because he was bored in his College dormitory.

Few minutes before midnight, the whole family went to the balcony to watch the fireworks. Nami was carrying Jinyoung while Seokjin volunteered to hold her youngest for a while. Their parents are also watching the night sky cozily.

Namjoon couldn’t help but watch how amazing Seokjin is with children. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t scared of what the future might hold for him. As long as he has Seokjin, he’s not scared of anything life would throw at him.

He placed a hand on Seokjin’s shoulder and the older smiled at him, bumping their heads together gently. They watched as they heard the neighbors' countdown and the fireworks went off.

Seokjin covered the little girl’s eyes and snuck a peck from Namjoon.

“Happy new year, my love.” Seokjin said.

“Happy new year.”

Life was good, Namjoon thought. Few months have passed and the two are more in love than ever. There were fights here and there but the two always worked out.

Mostly with Seokjin apologizing even though he doesn’t know what he did nor what they’re even fighting about. As long as Namjoon stops being upset, he’s willing to apologize more than a thousand times.

But their first huge fight happened during one of their most important days: their first anniversary.

“my cool robot-maker boyfriend

Hey love. I’m getting off work by 5. You?

Idk yet

Will msg you

Just don’t get home too late.

Can’t wait for our dinner tonight 😘

Idk if I can make it to dinner, Namjoon

We had a miscalculation in one of the prototypes

Might stay here for the night w Jungkook

Honey, can’t you even meet me for an hour?

Did you forget about today?

Today?

It’s Wednesday

Date night is every Friday, is it not?

Wow you really forgot

Cool

C ya whenever then

What did I forget?

Honey??

Namjoon.

???”

For the rest of the day, Namjoon did not answer his phone even once. He watches as Seokjin’s name continues to pop up on the screen, with a few missed calls followed by tons of messages.

It stopped after half an hour. Namjoon can’t help but feel like he’s not important to Seokjin. He would’ve answered him after the 100th missed call but Seokjin stopped calling after 37 missed calls only. He didn’t text again after 43 messages, and most of it were just question marks.

First, Seokjin forgets their first anniversary and now he stops pursuing him after a fight? Is Namjoon’s biggest fear — Seokjin falling out of love — finally coming true?

No, he can’t be. They were just sleeping together last night, exchanging words of appreciation and affirmation. Seokjin probably just genuinely forgot it, right?

Right?

Namjoon, a huge overthinker, couldn’t focus on his work anymore. During a meeting, he was nudged multiple times by his co-worker because he was called out. One warning and Normal Namjoon would focus already but Today’s Namjoon had three warnings until their superior suggested he take the rest of his day off because his mind is obviously elsewhere.

Namjoon declined, of course. He doesn’t need that, pfft, he’s fine! He’s completely fine. He should be able to separate his personal worries from his work.

Work finished and Namjoon did an extra hour of work just to keep his mind off things. Once they’re done for the day, he walks out of his office, coat off and unbuttoning his cuff sleeves and the first button from his neck to breathe more.

As he was about to make his way home, he saw this strange person holding a huge bouquet of flowers that covered almost entirely half his body. They’re pink roses, one of Namjoon’s favorites. He sighed as he walked past him with his back slightly slouched.

“What a lucky person.” He said under his breath.

“Yah, Namjoon-ah.” He heard from the flowers and someone held him by his wrist.

Normally, Namjoon would’ve put up a fight. He doesn’t like it when people touch him, especially strangers, but his energy was drained today. When he looked up to see who it was, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Seokjin hyung?” Namjoon asked. “Thought you were at work.”

“Of all the days I’ll do overtime and pull an all-nighter at work with Jungkook, do you really think I’ll agree to do it on the day of our anniversary?” Seokjin asked, a mischievous smile on his smile.

Namjoon felt his heart melt in his chest. He remembered. Of course, he remembered. That’s touching but he feels like an idiot now so he hits his boyfriend on the chest, maybe a little harder than he intended.

“Ow!” Seokjin exclaimed, holding the spot where Namjoon hit him. “Baby, you know you’re stronger than normal people, especially me.”

“I know. You deserve that.” Namjoon said, glaring at him. 

Namjoon’s expression suddenly softens at the sight of his boyfriend wearing a suit quite sloppily and holding a huge bouquet of flowers right outside his office building for their first anniversary. He pulls him into a hug and holds his face to place a kiss on his plump lips.

“Hmm, strawberry.” Namjoon said, acknowledging the taste of Seokjin’s lip gloss after kissing him. “You prepared today, huh?”

“Of course.” Seokjin said with a proud smile. “Also, I am a little hurt that you actually believed that I forgot our anniversary. January 26th a year ago, exactly 5:47 in the afternoon, I accidentally hit you with a frisbee disc on your head.”

“And I couldn’t be more thankful that you did.” Namjoon said with a smile, placing another kiss on his boyfriend’s lips as they both chuckle at how ridiculous their first meeting was.

Seokjin had prepared a date for tonight. With Namjoon blindfolded, they walked just a few minutes away from his office and to where Seokjin prepared their date would be.

“Can I take it off now?” Namjoon asked while they’re still walking.

“Just a few more feet, don’t be too impatient.” Seokjin chuckled.

“Frankly, who wouldn’t be impatient when I haven’t seen a single light nor object in the past ten minutes?” Namjoon said.

“Have you ever seen an impatient blind person? No, and they haven’t seen a single thing in their life.” Seokjin said.

“I feel like we’re starting to stray away from the original conversation.” Namjoon said.

“Alright, we’re here.” Seokjin said, taking off Namjoon’s blindfold.

Namjoon’s eyes are still adjusting from the light but he does recognize this place. It’s just a few minutes away from his apartment and right beside the park where we met more than a year ago.

“Skateboard park?” Namjoon asked.

Seokjin came to him from behind, putting on a helmet on his boyfriend who looked confused.

“Sit down, I’ll put the roller skates on you.” Seokjin said, pushing down Namjoon on his shoulders to sit down.

“I don’t know how to roller skate.” Namjoon said as Seokjin removed his work shoes and replaced them with the skates.

“I know but I think you’ll enjoy this.” Seokjin said with a smile. “I’ll hold you the whole time.”

If Namjoon’s being honest, this isn’t what he expected Seokjin to prepare for their anniversary. Maybe a dinner reservation at a restaurant or a romantic home-cooked meal at home with rose petals waiting for them on bed. But here he is, sitting on the ground still in his office clothes while Seokjin puts the rollerblades on him.

But then again he remembers, when was Seokjin ever predictable? He’s bizarre, adventurous, always has the most unique ideas, and he’s never afraid to speak out his thoughts no matter how random it is (he once asked Namjoon’s opinion on who he thinks would win in a battle between zombies and robots).

Then it hit him. Seokjin found the guy he promised his teenage self to marry. He found himself his own Phil Dunphy.

Suddenly overwhelmed with his love for Seokjin, he hugs his boyfriend tightly. Seokjin was a little confused as to why but he hugged his boyfriend back. When they both pulled away from each other, Namjoon was smiling at him, eyes a little glossy with tears.

“Are you crying? Do you not want to roller skate? We can do other things, I’m sorry I should’ve asked you first but I thought—“

Seokjin’s rambling was cut off with Namjoon capturing his lips with his to shut him up. When Namjoon pulled away, he smiled at his boyfriend, a tear escaping his eyes.

“No, this is perfect.” Namjoon said.

“Are you crying? Oh my god, do you hate roller skating that much?” Seokjin asked, horror gracing his face.

“No, please, I’m just being ridiculous.” Namjoon chuckled, wiping away his tears.

Seokjin sat in front of his boyfriend while Namjoon sat there, fiddling with his fingers, one foot wearing a roller skate, the other still in his office shoes.

“When I was a teenager, I found comfort in this one TV show I watched, Modern Family.” Namjoon said. “One of the characters was named Phil Dunphy and I promised myself that the only guy I will marry is someone who will come close to him.”

“Oh.” Seokjin said. “Am I not Phil Dunphy?”

“No, baby, you’re my Phil Dunphy.” Namjoon said, caressing his cheeks. “I just realized it now and I’m just overwhelmed, that's why I’m crying. I never thought I’d find one, I almost gave up, but then you came. And I just love you so much, Seokjin hyung.”

Namjoon pulled him into another hug and Seokjin hugged him back too, feeling a pool of warmth settling in his chest. For the first time, Seokjin feels satisfied with the life he has right now, right here with Namjoon.

When they pulled away from each other, Namjoon laughed.

“Sorry, I probably look silly basing my future husband’s quality on a TV show character.” Namjoon said, wiping his tears.

“No, no, I’m actually flattered.” Seokjin said, putting down Namjoon’s hands and wiping his tears using the soft pad of his thumb instead. “Fictional characters are better than real-life people and you thinking I’m in that standard is flattering. Thank you. And I love you too.”

“Not so much?” Namjoon jokes.

“No.” Seokjin shook his head and Namjoon’s expression changed with his eyebrows furrowed. “I love you so very much. That’s twice as much.”

“Technically, that’s grammatically incorrect because you can’t—“

“Just accept it, Namjoon, I’m trying to be romantic here.” Seokjin said with a fond smile.

“Yeah, right.” Namjoon chuckled and Seokjin placed a soft kiss on his forehead.

Seokjin finished up putting the rollerskates on Namjoon and then he wore his right after. He helped Namjoon stand up, holding his hand and waist as his boyfriend gets familiar with the skates.

“So this Phil Dunphy guy,” Seokjin said. “Is he as handsome as I am?”

Namjoon laughed and he just loves his boyfriend so much. He thought he was incapable of loving someone but here he is, wearing roller skates in a skateboarding park with his boyfriend whom he loves so much.

That night, after the two spent a good thirty minutes roller skating and two hours in the ER after Seokjin slipped and hit his head on the ground, they cuddled up on Seokjin’s bed.

“How are you feeling?” Namjoon asked.

“Less dizzy.” Seokjin said. “Did you know that when I slipped, everything was literally in slow motion? Yet it all happened in like a second? How is that possible?”

“Stop thinking too much and rest your brain.” Namjoon said, kissing his boyfriend’s bandaged forehead.

“Anyway, where can I meet this Phil Dunphy guy?” Seokjin asked.

“You’ve never watched Modern Family?” Namjoon looked at him funnily and Seokjin shook his head. “Oh my god, you have to see this.”

Namjoon turned on the television excitedly and immediately looked for the series.

“You’re gonna love him.” Namjoon said with a smile, cuddling back into Seokjin’s arms as the first episode started playing.