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Amarië lay on the hard ground, the cold stone a relief in her fevered state. She covered her face with shaking hands and let out a long, slow breath. Corypheus was gone. It was over. Over. She took a moment to let that sink in before pushing herself off the ground. She was hurt, unsteady on her feet, but she was alive. Solas. Cassandra. Cole. She had to make sure the others were alright.
She made her way across the scarred clearing that had been Corypheus' final battleground. A soft but strange clink fell on her ears- the musical sound of metal on stone. She moved toward it, rounding a large chunk of earth jutting up from the ground, and her knees went weak with relief. There was Solas, kneeling but seemingly unhurt, his back to her. She ran toward him, but the moment his face came into view she halted, shocked. She had never in her life seen such despair, such raw pain in an expression. Not on anyone, and on his normally stoic face it was jarring. The broken fragments of Corypheus' focusing orb were in his hands. Her heart dropped. Retrieving the orb had been his goal and she feared what this would mean.
“Solas…” her voice trailed off.
“The orb.” He could hardly get the words out for the despair. He radiated pain that reflected the loss of all hope, the loss of a last lifeline.
“I know you wanted the orb saved. I’m so sorry.”
“It is not…” he paused, “your fault.”
“Can it be saved? We could take the pieces back to Skyhold…” Everything that came out of her mouth was full of hesitation. Her fear of what this would mean, that she would say the wrong thing and it would make everything so much worse, grew stronger.
“No.” The tremor in his voice shook her. “That would not recover what has been lost.”
He set the pieces down and picked himself up. He moved as if a terrible weight had settled on his shoulders. He turned and looked into her face for the first time since the battle. His eyes softened, the hard lines on his face moving from despair into a grim resolve.
“There’s more, isn't there?” She ventured.
His gaze dropped. It was as if the whole time she had known him he had been wearing a mask, a filter of polite stoicism, and the destruction of the orb had shattered that filter. He looked back up at her, regret and longing in his eyes. “It was not supposed to happen this way,” he said, his voice soft and trembling. The dread that had been growing in her stomach reached her heart. At that moment she knew.
He was leaving.
“No matter what comes,” he began, “I want you to know-”
“Solas.” She cut him off, “You’re leaving?”
He stood there, gazing at her with that unfiltered sadness in his eyes, for many heartbeats before responding. “Yes.”
She looked away, steeling herself. She couldn't fall to the ground, or sob, or beat at her chest. He had told her that, with him, she never had to posture, but he was wrong. It was clear he had no choice, and in that moment she had to be his strength.
“And I can’t come with you, can I?” She didn't have the courage to look at him yet.
“No. The path I must walk… You cannot follow.”
She took a deep breath and looked into his eyes. She swallowed back the pain in her throat and, though tears streamed down her cheeks, she nodded. His eyes widened, taken aback. She always, always managed to surprise him. He expected anger, but what she was giving him was acceptance. She closed the distance between them in a few quick steps and reached out to take his hands in hers, pulling them to her chest. He stood as a statue, unresponsive, not trusting himself to not lose his resolve.
“If it’s impossible, I will accept it. But Solas… If it isn't, you don’t have to do this alone. You don’t have to be alone anymore. I will walk with you, shoulder your burdens with you. Your burdens could never crush me, Solas.”
“Oh, vhen'an,” he whispered, all of his reluctance crumbling. His hand moved to her cheek as he touched his forehead to hers, closing his eyes and pulling her close, breathing her in, his other hand firm on the small of her back. “'Ma lath, emma lath, emma vhen'an. You tempt me. I would abandon everything for you, to stay with you. Grow old with you. Hold you every night of our lives.“ His arms enveloped her, as if he would devour her, desperate to bring her very being into his. "I would. I want…” He kissed her, tasted the tears on her lips. They stayed like that, desperately drinking each other in.
She broke the kiss first and pulled away, just enough to search his face. She shook her head slightly, placing her hand on his cheek. “No. That would be a terrible thing, wouldn't it? Whatever this is, this thing you have to do, it's important. Is this why you pushed me away? Did you know you would have to leave?”
He pressed his cheek into her palm, clinging to her touch. “It was likely. I had hoped I would be able to stay with you but now…” He shook his head. “Every day I wanted to tell you everything, but if I did all would be lost. That's why I had to distance myself, until this was over and I could… Fix all of my terrible mistakes.”
“You have a duty.”
“Yes. And you have an Inquisition that still needs its leader,” he said.
“Yes.”
“Inquisitor!” Cassandra’s voice carried over the broken battlefield, out of view. “Are you alive?”
Solas' eyes moved over her face, burning every detail into his memory before stepping back, reluctantly releasing her. Amarië knew he would force himself to walk away again, like the night he left her in Crestwood. She knew that it would destroy him, but he would turn his back on her first so that she would be spared that burden. She couldn't let him do that, not again.
Amarië didn't look away. She knew if she looked away he would be gone when she turned back. “I’m alive, I’m fine, Cassandra.” She called back, her eyes locked with his.
It was time to let him go.
“Ar lath 'ma vhen'an.” He said it like the first time- a statement. Not an admission, just a fact, not needing further explanation or discussion.
It was goodbye.
He started to turn, but Amarië pushed herself forward and wrapped her arms around his neck for the last time.
“Meet me in the fade,” she whispered in his ear, and just as quickly she released him, turned, and ran off in the direction of Cassandra’s voice.