Chapter Text
it's always on the tip of my tongue
but i stop myself from saying it
tell myself it's not the right time or something dumb
but then you kiss me like you do
and we're right back where we started from
Marinette had never been more tired in her life.
Not the ‘I just pulled a rare all-nighter and now I can barely keep my eyes open’ kind of tired. But the bone-deep, sinking exhaustion that creeps through your body, seizing all motivation to stay upright.
She couldn’t remember the last time she’d slept.
Lucky breaks would do that to a superhero.
After six years of learning how to juggle her civilian life with her superhero one, Marinette felt she was doing a pretty decent job.
Until now.
When Shadowmoth had captured her yoyo three years ago, he’d merged his miraculous with the others, each in turn, and created new and unique akumas.
Stronger akumas.
Ladybug had promised Chat that day that it would be only the two of them from then on. She could still picture that evening, the two of them together on what she’d taken to referring to as ‘their rooftop’. They’d met there for years after that day, talking plans or strategies or just talking. What was at that point a tentative partnership gave way to a bond neither had expected.
Falling for Adrien had been sudden.
Falling for her partner had been subtle.
She knew him better than anyone. He’d said that himself, but even without that confession she could tell. Marinette may be clumsy, but she was incredibly observant and used this to read others and help them out when she could, but it had also become one of her best qualities as Ladybug.
It helped them find Shadowmoth, and it helped her learn her partner more than she’d originally intended.
Since Chat Blanc, she’d closed herself off. Chat knew she had no interest in dating him because of Shadowmoth, and as far as he knew, she still liked someone else. She didn’t feel the need to complicate the current situation with her own stupid feelings. She’d grown better at hiding them in the past years.
But even with this, her professional life never failed to bleed into her personal one. She had long moved past Adrien, though her heart would still flutter when they’d touch, she’d accepted she could never date him. She could never truly be honest with him.
Especially now.
Gabriel Agreste was Shadowmoth, and she was going to have to tell Adrien.
He’d revealed himself on accident, obviously, though he was vain enough to think they hadn’t caught it. After retrieving all the miraculous he’d stolen, the heroes had started their search. Male, mid 40’s, or 50’s, didn’t get out much, and an obvious tragedy occurring near the first time he’d attacked the city. After that, with each attack, it became easier to tell. Akuma tracking had helped greatly.
It had never occurred to Marinette until they connected the dots that Adrien had lost his mom only a few months before she met him.
Chat had been strangely resistant to the idea of Gabriel Agreste as Shadowmoth from the beginning, as if he didn’t want to accept it. Marinette felt bad, she really did, but she hadn’t had a break since the discovery to unpack the who, what, or why of his response.
Now, sitting in a warehouse long abandoned in the outskirts of Paris, around a table with the rest of the superhero team she’d called in after the discovery to make plans, she could see her partner, her love, drifting from the conversation where he sat across from her, zoned out staring at the Agreste mansion on the giant city map she’d asked Alya to bring.
Executive decision-making was her job, and they hadn’t gotten anywhere worthwhile in at least half an hour. Ladybug snapped back to the conversation, mind made up.
“No, Carapace , stop and listen to me for two seconds! Cornering him is obvi -”
Marinette hit the table with her palms, only hard enough to get everyone’s attention while standing to talk. “Okay, that’s enough. We’re getting nowhere. Let’s take a break. It’s almost sunrise. Head home, get a meal, tell whoever you need to tell that you’re going out, and be back here no later than 9. If I need anything before then, I’ll message you. Keep the kwamis with you and out of sight.” She ended her quick speech with a dismissing wave before rounding the table and double-tapping Chat’s shoulder. Their signal for ‘meet me’. She crossed the empty upper level of the warehouse to the window, glancing briefly behind her to see the team scattering slowly, leaving only Chat at the table. She made brief eye contact with him, nodding her head up, before jumping out the window.
She landed on the roof seconds later, walking to the edge overlooking the quiet city. At four in the morning, activity was scarce, a fragile calm hanging over the city, waiting to be broken by the morning Parisian rush.
She heard Chat’s soft landing on the roof behind her, his steps quiet but breaking the gentle silence of the morning.
“Milady?” he whispered tentatively as if he could also feel how fragile the atmosphere felt.
“Sit,” she murmured, lowering herself to the edge of the building to let her legs dangle. He followed her actions moments later, putting a careful distance between the two. Ladybug glanced down at their legs, six inches apart, and frowned slightly, but moved on. She could address that later. “What’s going on?”
He turned his head to her, brows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Chat,” she sighed. “I don’t have time to be anything but blunt, kitty.” She saw his slight blush at the nickname she used so rarely. “Please. I can tell something’s really bothering you. You haven’t given input to the conversation downstairs in hours. Is this about the team? You know I will always put you first, Chaton , but we can’t do this part alone. We have no choice but to-”
“No, that’s…that’s not it.”
Distracted by her rambling, Marinette had almost missed his whispered response. His hands were clenched together in his lap, gaze on them. She wanted to take them, kiss his knuckles and assure him that everything would be okay, even if she wasn’t sure it would be.
She couldn’t lie to herself, or her kitten, that she wasn’t terrified. She was. Ever since the discovery, she hadn’t been able to breathe right, a heavy weight on her chest and constricting her heart. It had only been a day, less than that, but Marinette had felt the panic set in. It had been the longest twenty-four hours of her life.
Would she even survive the battle?
Would Chat?
And what would happen when it was all over?
x x x
Adrien had never liked feelings. Whenever he felt himself slipping too far into his head, he’d slip into his Chat personality and take to the rooftops until his mind was as numb as his fingertips were after a patrol.
Now?
He had no escape.
His two lives were spilling into each other and it was breaking him.
A day ago, Adrien’s biggest concern was his feelings for Marinette.
Now his dad was Shadowmoth.
Granted, his dad was still Shadowmoth a day ago, he was just blissfully ignorant.
He hated that it made so much sense. Mysterious absences, holed up in his office all the time, Nathalie’s sickness…
He knew it was true.
Adrien wanted to help. He wanted to rid the world of the piece of garbage that was his father. He wanted to devise a perfect plan to take his Miraculous, stop him once and for all. But what would that really mean?
His father would be put away, a mental institution at best.
The hard truth was many villains didn’t make it out alive. Adrien knew that.
Adrien hated his father. He hated the person he’d become when his wife had died.
But he wasn’t sure he wanted him to die. Adrien had already lost his mother, did he really deserve to lose his father too? Even if he was a supervillain?
Adrien didn’t know when he’d started crying. He’d been sitting with his lady in silence for who knows how long, her waiting for an explanation, until he heard a faint murmur of, “Oh, Chaton , no…” and the brush of her fingertips against his cheek. She grabbed his chin, gently turning his face to hers. “Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
“I-” he cut off, voice rough with tears, and cleared his throat. “I can’t.”
Her hand left his face, falling once more to her lap as her shoulders slumped. “Oh.”
Adrien backtracked quickly. “Milady, no. It’s not you…it’s my civilian identity. I can’t tell you what’s going on without revealing myself.”
She turned back to him, eyes wide. “Chat…we know Hawkmoth’s identity…” he watched her closely, observing her hesitancy. “I think that would be okay. If you reveal your identity to me. I really want to help you.” She paused again as if considering if she should keep going. “I think…I may be ready for you to know who I am. When this is over, you’ll be the only other person who understands what we went through. I don’t want to do this alone.” She looked away sheepishly, face flushing under the edges of her mask.
Adrien was stunned. He watched her for a moment, trying to puzzle out if she was serious.
“Are you…”
“Serious? Deadly.” She chuckled slightly. “After everything, I had no idea it would be you crying that really got me over him.”
“Him?”
“Chat Blanc.”
Adrien was sure this conversation couldn’t get any more shocking. Yet here he was. He simply stared, waiting on Ladybug to elaborate. After a few moments of silence, she broke it with a sigh.
“I suppose it’s time I tell you. There won’t be much point in hiding it soon anyway, I might as well tell you the whole story.” She cleared her throat, though it seemed more as if she was just preparing herself for what she needed to say. “When I was thirteen, I fell in love. The day I met him was the day I met you. I hated him. First impressions leave a mark, but second impressions leave a larger one, I guess. Pouring rain, I was soaking wet, and the guy I’d just met and decided I hated gave me his umbrella. I’ll never forget how he looked at me that day.
“I loved him for a really long time. I’m not sure when I stopped, or maybe I didn’t. Maybe some part of me will always love him. But I learned a while ago that I could never be with him without being honest to him. And I could never be honest to him while I was fighting a supervillain in my not-so-spare time. He’s the most misunderstood person I know. His father treats him terribly, and yet he’s the kindest person I’ve ever met. I’ll never understand that.
“I would’ve fallen for you years ago if he’d never given me that umbrella.”
Huh?
“Four years ago, you got akumatized. You don’t remember it because we erased that timeline, Bunnix and I. We discovered each other's identities and fell in love, and it destroyed the world. Bunnix came to me out of the blue one day and took me to that future. A future where the only remnants were a destroyed Paris and you, Chat Blanc, akumatized. You called me by my name, my civilian one, and I knew immediately I could never let myself love you until we got rid of Shadowmoth.
“Our love destroyed the world, Chaton . That’s why I didn’t want to let myself love you.
“For six years, I’ve tried to love others. I’ve tried to distract myself from you. But Chat, I love you. I’m tired of denying it to myself and to you. I understand if you don’t love me anymore, or if you won’t love who I am under the mask, but it can’t change my feelings. It kills me to watch you be in pain and not be able to help you, and I’ve suppressed the urge to help you for years and done nothing, but I’m finished with that. Tikki, spots off.”
Adrien was frozen. His brain was empty. He didn’t know how to comprehend everything she’d just said.
She…
Marinette?
Adrien’s best friend, the girl he was worried he was falling in love with, sat next to him, feet dangling off the side of the roof.
“ Marinette? ”
She nodded, not looking at him.
“Marinette, look at me.”
She turned to him slowly, reluctant.
“Plagg, claws in.”
Marinette gasped and looked away, eyes squeezed shut.
Adrien reached out for her hand. “Marinette, please. Please, look at me.” He took her hands from her lap into his own, bringing them up to his face as she finally turned to him.
“ Adrien ?!” Her hands were brushing his cheeks on their own now, holding him in front of her as if she couldn’t believe it was actually him. He brought his hands to her face, pulling her closer so his forehead rested against hers. Adrien watched the tears form in her eyes and knew he looked just as much of a mess of emotions. “I’m so sorry, Adrien. I’m so, so, so sorry.” She wound her hands around his neck till they were clasped behind him, gently brushing the hair at the nape of his neck. He could feel the tears on his cheeks now, mirroring Marinette’s.
“Mari, you have nothing to be sorry about. Why are you apologizing?” he whispered, afraid of breaking their embrace.
She sniffed. “I- I should’ve known, Adrien. You’re my best friend. How could I not have known you were hurting so much?”
“Because I wasn’t hurting around you.”
She seemed to need a moment to digest this. He understood that. Adrien knew how overwhelming this was for her. It was just as overwhelming for him.
“Adrien…” she began after a moment, “I’m going to ask you something, and I want you to know you’re free to say no. And we’re not done with this conversation about you keeping your struggles from your best friend.”
“...okay?”
She took a deep breath, squeezing her eyes shut.
“Spill it, Mari,” he chuckled anxiously. “You’re making me nervous-”
“CanIkissyou?”
Adrien froze.
“Shit, I’m so sorry.” Marinette yanked her hands back, panic evident on her face, standing abruptly and turning away from him. “I shouldn’t have asked that. I’m sorry. Can we please just forget I said anything? I’m so sorry, Adrien. That was inappropriate, and now is definitely not the time…I just got too in my head. Please, forgive m-”
Adrien read a lot of books. His favorite trope? Cutting each other off with a kiss.
It was so much better in real life.
He’d stood sometime during her rambling, walking up behind her, grabbing her wrist and turning her to him, effectively cutting her off with the press of his lips against hers. It was brief, only enough to shut her up, and she didn’t have the time to respond before he pulled away. He kept hold of both her hands, not sure if he could stand being without the contact for long.
“I love you.”
“What?”
“I love you, Mari. I love you so much. I’ve loved you since I was thirteen, the day you knocked me out of the sky. You literally fell from heaven and expect me not to fall for you? The only reason I fell for Ladybug first was because I met her first.”
“First?”
He smiled. “I fell in love with Marinette, too. I just couldn’t see it until recently.”
Marinette stared up at him, eyes wide. Adrien knew it was hard for her to accept, him loving both sides of her. But she truly was Ladybug deep down, with or without the mask.
Adrien smirked. “Speechless, Lovebug?”
Her expression changed from shock to a mix of love and exasperation, and she released his hand to smack his shoulder. “Stupid cat.”
“What can I say, Milady?” He stepped backward until he could feel his heels at the edge of the rooftop. “I’ve fallen for you!” Arms spread wide for the drama of it, he smiled the most dazzling smile he could muster before leaning back off the edge of the roof.
The moment his feet left the edge of the roof, he called on his transformation, extending his baton moments before hitting the ground and launching back up into the sky. As he shot past the edge of the rooftop, he saw a flash of red, his lady. Before he had realized what happened, he’d lost his breath, suddenly hit by the same flash of red, and was rolling across the rooftop with another body. When the world finally stopped spinning, Adrien lay on his back on the roof, Ladybug straddling his torso, the both of them sucking gulps of air.
“ ADRIEN !”
He opened his eyes, shooting her a look that said ‘please don’t hit me’.
“What. The. Hell.”
“Uh…”
“Don’t ever do that again.”
“Yes ma’am!”
She squinted down at him, hands on either side of his head, as if deciding whether or not he was being serious. He held her gaze, smirking, eyes darting between her eyes and lips. He knew she noticed.
He didn’t care.
When she seemed to finally become aware of their position, he saw it on her face, the pink blush spreading across her cheeks so dark it was almost as red as her mask. She broke eye contact, glancing at his lips, and Adrien was tired of waiting. He pushed up on an elbow, free hand wrapping around her waist. She jumped at the contact.
He leaned into her ear, whispering, “I’d like to kiss you now, Bug. For real this time.”
She turned her head to him, considering for no more than a moment before grabbing his face with both hands, pulling him to her.
It was nothing like the first kiss. Where the first had been chaste and rushed and a shock against his lips, this one was fire, a slow press of her lips against his as her hands wound around the back of his head to comb through his hair. He tightened the hand on her hip pulling her slightly closer, desperate to savor every bit of the contact. She filled all his senses, the smell of her shampoo with the taste of her lips making him dizzy. His head was empty, his only thoughts repeating Mari, Mari, Mari …
He was drowning in her. Her hands, her lips, her intoxicating scent…he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t think. His everything was Marinette. He never wanted to leave.
She pulled back to breathe and Adrien followed her, sitting up to free his other hand and placing it on her waist. He chased her lips, swallowing her gasp when they touched again. He tilted his head, deepening their kiss.
Adrien had never been big on taking charge. He’d left that to his partner. However, as much as he loved bossy Ladybug, he also loved flustering Marinette. He tightened his hands around her waist, smiling against her lips, and flipped them. He landed above her, holding himself up on his forearms as he smirked down at her.
“Flustered, Bugaboo?” She looked away, unable to meet his flirtatious gaze. He leaned down to her ear, whispering, “There’s more where that came from, mon amour.” He felt her shiver as he pressed a kiss beneath her ear. He peppered kisses along her jawline, making his way slowly back to her lips as he felt her arms wrap around his back, pulling him closer. Finding her lips again, he deepened the kiss quickly.
The two stayed lost in each other for what could’ve been hours or just moments, interrupted only when they heard someone join them on the roof.
“Do I need to get you a sock for your doorknob now?”