Chapter Text
Conc-Crete babey - 1am
Big brother: can dogs vote??
Little brother: it’s 1am
Big brother: that’s not an answer
Little brother: naib’s gonna get mad
Big brother: yikes anyway can dogs vote?
Little brother: I think there’s a couple states in the US that have dog presidents
Big brother: so technically dogs can vote
Little brother: I guess, if they can be put in power
Little brother: what are you even doing
Big brother: research paper
Little brother: the one that’s due tomorrow
Big brother: today technically
Little brother: nice
Big brother: what are you doing for it
Little brother: nothing, I was gonna pass out and hope that carries me through the day
Big brother: why didn’t I think of that
Little brother: because you can’t pass out on command
Big brother: why do I not believe you
Biggest brother: because he can’t
Big brother: fuck
Little brother: shit we’ve been compromised
Biggest brother: why are you both awake
Little brother: why are you awake huh
Biggest brother: gee I wonder why
Big brother: I’m writing my research paper
Little brother: I’m bored
Biggest brother: go to bed
Biggest brother: Norton you better get at least a C on that paper or we’re not going to that abandoned mine
Big brother: fuck shit I need a new topic
Big brother: see y’all on the other side
Biggest brother: Aesop you better have done the paper
Little brother: who do you take me for, Norton?? Yes I finished it earlier swine now let me sleep
Little brother: and for the record I can pass out on command
Conk-Crete babey - 7:30am
Little brother: did y’all see Mr. Beck this morning
Biggest brother: no??? Did you
Little brother: no shit, he has that creepy shark with him
Biggest brother: no fucking way
Biggest brother: where are you
Little brother: main hall but he already left
Biggest brother: fuck
Little brother: one day you’ll steal it
Little brother: not today though come read my paper
Biggest brother: no I’m finding that shark
Little brother: you’re joking
Little brother: you’d rather get thrown in detention for stealing a weird creepy 100% cursed shark weapon that goes against health and safety codes may I add, then proof read my research paper that makes or breaks my grade
Biggest brother: yes
Little brother: he didn’t even think about it
Conk-Crete babey - 8:30am
Big brother: HE HAS THE SHARK
Little brother: where are you??
Big brother: home
Little brother: you have 45 minutes
Big brother: I’ll make it
Biggest brother: you live an hour walk away
Biggest brother: you missed the bus this morning we should know we were there
Little brother: Will bets 100 yuan you won’t
Big brother: deal, I’m making it
Biggest brother: he’s gonna make it out of spite now so he gets 100 yuan
Little brother: I know, bro needs to eat today
Little brother: he’s also making it because one more late mark and he gets suspended for a week and he needs to see that shark today
Biggest brother: I have a feeling you’re lying about the shark
Little brother: I’m not promise! ask Martha she saw it too
Conk-Crete babey - 8:45
Biggest brother: he fucking made it
Little brother: told you he would
Biggest brother: how the fuck
Biggest brother: in 15 minutes???
Big brother: I’m now 100 yuan richer
Little brother: that’s all the money you have
Big brother: and??
Big brother: where’s Naib?
Big brother: I need him to proofread my paper
Little brother: join the club I think he’s tracking down Mr. Beck
Big brother: omg the shark
Big brother:see you in class
Little brother: you’re fucking joking
Little brother: you’re gonna make me sit here alone like a fool
Big brother: go see Will
brother: and get thrown across the field, I’d rather get hit with that shark :/
Aesop Carl - William Ellis
Night of the living dead: where are you?
He’s a runner, he’s a track star:omg!!! We’re at the rugby field, come play 🥺
Night of the living dead: no thnx :/
He’s a runner, he’s a track star: Freddy’s here
Night of the living dead: I’ll come sit on the side
He’s a runner, he’s a track star: :0!!!!!
Conk-Crete babey - 9:15am
Biggest brother: where’s Mr. Perez?
Big brother: Baney-poo?? Not a clue
Little brother: Tracy’s just told me he’s dead
Big brother: thank fucking god
Big brother: there’s no way I’m getting a C on this paper
Aesop Carl - Joseph Desaulniers
Night of the living dead: hey where’s Perez
Emotional support french “person”: you shouldn’t be on your phone in class
Night of the living dead: neither should you so we’re at quite a stalemate right now
Emotional support French “person”: fuck
Night of the living dead: anyways! did I spend my entire night writing this paper for nothing or not??
Emotional support french “person”: we’ve talked about this, you have to stop doing all your work in one night
Night of the living dead: this isn’t therapy old man
Emotional support french “person”: I am quite literally your therapist friend
Night of the living dead: and you’re doing a horrible job do we have a sub or not
Emotional support french “person”: and what makes you think I know
Night of the living dead: you’re kidding, you used to steal and give me the gym teacher rotations so I could hand a doctors note in every time Burke was teaching because you was convinced bonbon was gonna send me into cardiac arrest
Emotional support french “person”: fuck
Night of the living dead: checkmate
Emotional support french “person”: Bane is here today, I saw him walk into the staff room this morning
Night of the living dead: thank you love you bye bye
Emotional support french “person”: you’re insufferable
Conk-Crete babey - 9:20
Little brother: our efforts have not been for naught, Bane is supposed to be teaching
Big brother: and you know how??
Biggest brother: did you message Joseph
Little brother: he’s very helpful when he wants to be
Biggest brother: I don’t like that guy
Little brother: neither do I but he provides good blackmail for every teacher
Big brother: that’s where you get it from??
Little brother: he may be french—
Biggest brother: fuck phone’s away I hear him
Little brother: why is he so loud
Big brother: what boots does that mf wear you can hear him across the school
Biggest brother: Norton
Big brother: yeah yeah I’m going
Conk-Crete babey - 10:15am
Little brother: rip lucky may you rest in peace
Big brother: for a guy named lucky he really isn’t
Little brother: no he is he always dodges assignments idk how he does it
Big brother: not anymore, fly high king
Biggest brother: stop telling people he’s dead
Big brother: naib we all saw it
Big brother: he’s dead
Biggest brother: I’m shocked Norton wasn’t ratted out either
Big brother: Nu uh I gave him my work, it doesn’t have to be good it just has to be there
Little brother: the bare minimum 😌
Biggest brother: y’all are hopeless
Biggest brother: get to class
Little brother: says u :/
Biggest brother: I’m already there, I saw you and Norton playing with beyblades on the hall get to class
Big brother: Aesop we’ve been comprised, again
Little brother: buzzkill I was gonna get people to make bets
Biggest brother: that’s illegal
Little brother: not if you don’t get caught
Biggest brother: class
Biggest brother: now
Conk-Crete babey - 11am
Biggest brother: Norton
Big brother: m’yes??
Biggest brother: how has no one ever guessed your Twitter password
Big brother: SHUT
Big brother: dude it’s fucking “Mike”
Little brother: THAT’S IT??
Big brother: don’t you start
Little brother: how are you not apart of a pyramid scheme
Big brother: I’m a highschool student
Biggest brother: do you think they care
Little brother: think of how many people you can recruit
Big brother: shouldn’t you two be learning
Little brother: shouldn’t you?
Biggest brother: I’m in IT rn
Little brother: I’m a god
Big brother: I’m bornebdhdjskak
Big brother: Mr. Subedar, Mr. Carl I advise you pay attention in your lessons
Biggest brother: Norton got busted
Little brother: pussy
Little brother: whose class is he even in rn?
Biggest brother: Ms. Ann’s I believe
Little brother: Norton got busted by Ann how fucking dumb is he
Big brother: Mr. Carl, Mr. Subedar
Little brother: shouldn’t you be teaching right now
Big brother: …….
Little brother: checkmate
Big brother: my office, after school
Little brother: :/
Aesop Carl - Fan Wujiu: 11:15
Night of the living dead: how do you get on Ann’s good side??
Gay and homophobic: dude stfu I’m in science rn
Night of the living dead: you think I care, bian’s taking notes for you anyway
Gay and homophobic: seriously go away I have fucking Percy today
Night of the living dead: and yet you’re still messaging me
Gay and homophobic: how are you even getting away with texting
Night of the living dead: how are you?
Gay and homophobic: bian’s covering me
Night of the living dead: I’m sat right at the back, Burke’s teaching maths
Night of the living dead: once again I need your old person knowledge
Gay and homophobic: I’m a year above you
Night of the living dead: yeah, old person how do I get on her good side
Gay and homophobic: cat memorabilia
Night of the living dead: should’ve guessed that actually
Night of the living dead: tell Bian I said hi
Gay and homophobic: Aesop I can read your texts, pay attention in class
Night of the living dead: hi Bian!!!!!!
Gay and homophobic: /sigh/ hi Aesop
Night of the living dead: Ann caught me texting so I have to go see her :/
Gay and homophobic: so you’re still testing the waters
Night of the living dead: it’s Burke, what’s he gonna do, shuffle in my direction
Gay and homophobic: you’re right, I have a cat pen, meet me at lunch and take that to her after school
Night of the living dead: Bian I love you so much
Gay and homophobic: now pay attention in class
Night of the living dead: yeah yeah I’m going
Aeosp Carl - Naib subedar: 11:20
Night of the living dead: hey
Night of the living dead: hey hey
Night of the living dead: IK you’re not doing anything rn
Jiang Cheng kinnie: whats up?
Jiang Cheng kinnie: bro who the fuck changed my name
Night of the living dead: pppfttttttt Norton did it last week how have you not noticed
Jiang Cheng kinnie: :/ it’s inaccurate
Night of the living dead: no it’s not 😌
Jiang Cheng kinnie: shouldn’t you be in class
Night of the living dead: shouldn’t you
Jiang Cheng kinnie: IT
Night of the living dead: Burke’s teaching
Night of the living dead: I threatened to throw myself out the window earlier
Jiang Cheng kinnie: bet that went down well
Night of the living dead: Demi said I should be in therapy
Jiang Cheng kinnie: you are
Jiang Cheng kinnie: technically
Night of the living dead: proves it’s not doing much :/
Jiang Cheng kinnie: no it’s because you’re therapist friend is Joseph
Conk-Crete babey - 12pm
Big brother: Ay yo where y’all at
Big brother: also why did Ann give me my phone back saying “you’re the tamest of the three”
Little brother: are you incapable of scrolling up?
Big brother: broooo you went against Ann
Little brother: she’s literally the least scariest teacher we have
Big brother: true, where are you
Little brother: with Bian and wujiu I’m collecting my damage control
Big brother: of course you are, do you have lunch??
Little brother: yeah Demi got me to pass out so we could leave early to eat
Big brother: of course you did :/ I’ll see you in 5
Big brother: wait
Big brother: where’s naib?
Martha Behamfil - Norton Campbell
Horsegirl (derogatory): do you have any idea why naib was sprinting across the campus?
Oh no, our table: not a clue he never mentioned—
Oh no , our table: oh he just ran by
Oh no, our table: HE HAS THE SHARK
Conk-Crete babey - 12:30pm
Big brother: Aesop we gotta go
Little brother: we do?
Little brother: can it wait I’m in the art room, Edgar looks like he’s about to pop a blood vessel
Big brother: Naib has the shark
Little brother: On my way
Danganronpa - 1:15pm
He’s a runner, he’s a track star: yooooo, anyone know why Mr. Beck is pissed
He’s a runner, he’s a track star: like he’s about to commit a crime rn
Casino’s hate him: he’s scary enough as it is, who did something
Bookworm without the book: waiitttttt lucky?? I thought you were dead!!!!!
Casino’s hate him: who, who said that
*hacker voice* I’m in: Lucky, Jesus Christ confirmed
Horsegirl (derogatory): I thought he died this morning
Casino’s hate him: am I a ghost???
He’s a runner, he’s a track star: omg is he :0
Picasso’s incest baby: you simple minded beings, that Aesop Carl was spreading rumours again
*hacker voice* I’m in: oh no he was killed, I was the table I saw it
Picasso’s incest baby: WHO THE FUCK CHANGED MY NAME
Heeyaw: KDHDHSJSJAJDHSJAKAKA @titenic COME SEE THIS
Titenic: KSHDJSJS WHO THE FUCK
Horsegirl (derogatory): entire year has now seen that
*hacker voice* I’m in: don’t you feel, stupid, don’t you feel, ashamed
Picasso’s incest baby changed their name to “21st century’s best artist”
Titenic: hide it all you want I screenshot that
Heeyaw: send me it <3
21st century’s best artist: delete that right now
Titenic: no <3
21st century’s best artist: don’t >3 me
Heeyaw: he can’t even do it right :,)
He’s a runner, he’s a track star: as entertaining as this is does anyone know about Mr. Beck
*hacker voice* I’m in: @cottagecore agenda why’s your dad so pissed??
He’s a runner, he’s a track star: I always forget they’re related
Cottagecore agenda: I’m really sorry I have no idea!!! I haven’t seen him since this morning
Drug dealer: shouldn’t you all be in class?
Heeyaw: we are
Titenic: just very bored
Danganronpa - 1:30pm
Emotional support french “person”: what the fuck did you guys do? Rumour is Mr. Becks shark accessory has gone missing and one of you guys did it
Night of the living dead: oh brother who let this bozo in
Titenic: I’m pretty sure you did :/
Heeyaw: he does realise even if we did know we wouldn’t tell anyone right?
Oh no, our table: if you saw anyone running across campus today, you didn’t
Horsegirl (derogatory): why are they suspecting us :/
Emotional support french “person”: because you all collectively had a hand in setting the sports field on fire last year
Jiang Cheng kinnie: bonbon exploded on his own and there’s no evidence to prove we had anything to do with it
Heeyaw: he’s right we’re innocent angels