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Hand in hand, it seems, they always are. More than physically. They're hand in hand in their hearts, in their metaphors and allegories and their habits. And Sicheng doesn't remember when it started feeling so lovely- like their own identity, but he wouldn't be lying if he says he doesn't see anything better than this. It's raining like the sky cannot resist meeting the ground, like the sky is doing its best, and they're running because the rain is sort of harsh on them. But Sicheng feels so full of love that he wants to stop, just there, for a while longer, so he can drink up this instance more.
Yuta has a firm hold on his hand, their fingers are entwined and Yuta's squeeze is tight in a way that just feels so right, it inflates Sicheng's chest. He's running ahead of him, which is mostly the case, because Yuta's always been better at breaking through the thunders and Sicheng likes following here. Because they know who's better at what and who leading what makes it easier and they fall in that rhythm. Sicheng is sure they'd trip a hundred times if he led their run because Sicheng is so enamoured by Yuta right now- dripping in the rain but his enthusiasm and his smile just a pretty existence. (And Sicheng sucks at running amid the rain on his own, he has tried!)
Yuta is laughing, his pretty, pretty smile just adorning his face and it makes Sicheng crave so hard to just pull him and bring them to a stop. But he follows and laughs along, because he's happy. Even without an umbrella, Sicheng is strong enough to make his way through, because his hand is in Yuta's, and his legs pace with him. It all falls into the right place, for wherever each of it sits, Sicheng doesn't think there exists a wrong one.
He cannot remember how right everything felt before he met Yuta, it's so long ago and it feels like a different world, sometimes as if his life without Yuta never existed. Because he's so used to this. Every time Sicheng worried Yuta would get bored of him because he is someone so endearing who loves without any restraint and gives people more than his best while Sicheng always thought of himself as a boring nobody, Yuta always stayed and loved Sicheng more and held him closer. Every time Sicheng felt his time with Yuta was at the brink of getting over, Yuta stayed longer until they moved in together and Sicheng's life splattered with everything Yuta so much that from one point, he started smelling Yuta on him. Sicheng feels beautiful.
Sicheng thinks he's slowed them down as a product of his enchanted state because as he's staring at Yuta, Yuta turns back to meet his eyes, his laugh dissolving for a second before blooming back into something more beautiful. He smiles like heaven is exactly what he wished it to be, like he's met his dearest and Sicheng stops breathing for a second because he wonders if he gives Yuta love as much as he gives him. He wonders if his stares make Yuta feel like how Yuta's make him feel. He questions if their love is this strong from both ends.
Yuta stops them and holds Sicheng's free hand too, before placing it on his chest and wrapping Sicheng's waist with his. "Do you feel my heartbeat, my love," he asks, his eyes warm but intense, boring into Sicheng's like that's where they belong and Sicheng does, and it's strange how it beats this way even after so many years of treasuring their love. It's a strangeness though, that Sicheng would love to preserve; always!
"Yes," Sicheng murmurs as Yuta brings him closer. They're on an empty road when Sicheng observes. The rain is too heavy for anyone to be moving around and the road too small for vehicles with a roof. It's a little dark too though. Yuta smiles in the way that he does when he finds Sicheng too adoring. "You do know it's you who does this, right?"
Sicheng chuckles, a little mischievous as he rubs on Yuta's chest. "Not because we were running?" And Yuta laughs, throwing his head back in the adorable way he does. "I'm pretty sure you looking at me like I'm the most loved entity in this world has more to do with it," he answers then, burying his face in Sicheng's neck, one of each of their hands still clasped together. Sicheng brings his hand on Yuta's chest to place it on his shoulder through his underarm. Sicheng loves this, the adoration and the honesty. "Do I really make you feel that way, Yuyu," he asks, nestling his own face on Yuta's free shoulder. Yuta's giggle vibrates against his skin and he shivers. "Better than that, Sichengie. You make me feel what words won't encompass. I love you so much."
Sicheng thinks he'll cry, because he's overwhelmed with love, with the privilege of holding Yuta in his arms.
"I love you too, Yu. More than I express."
"More than you express?" Yuta moves his head away from Sicheng's neck to look at him. Sicheng glances up at him from his shoulder, eyes glossy but indecipherable because of the rain. He still thinks Yuta can identify it though, because he's Yuta . Who loved him when Sicheng couldn't decipher what love was, who scholared in him when he himself found it struggling to learn himself. Because he's Yuta who just knows his Sicheng , who he calls with a million adoring names. "How am I supposed to receive all this love, my beloved? Where will I keep it when everything else seems so small to accommodate your love?"
Sicheng smiles, sweetly, he feels the apples of his cheeks pop out. "Oh, but, darling," he says, playing with Yuta's hair with fingers that are on his shoulder, "your heart. Your heart can accommodate it and more. My love isn't nearly enough to fill you up yet, because I wake up everyday to find it has grown a bit more."
Yuta slots their mouths together by bringing his hand to Sicheng's neck and angling his head. Their noses smush against each other before their lips touch, and that's enough to make Sicheng whine. The kiss is slow, languid, full of adoration and kissed by the water droplets. Sicheng melts into Yuta's arms, and Yuta unclasps their hand to hold him by his waist and stabilises him, the hand on his neck chinning him up to find a better angle and Sicheng lets him, allows himself to be kissed deeply. It feels so good, so beautiful, so incredible. Sicheng never wants it to end.
They're standing in the rain and kissing and it isn't the kiss in the rain that's the hope of someone going through the first phase of their first love, it isn't the objective of innocence. It's the kiss and the union of experience- of two souls who've seen and felt heartbreaks, who've lost to their first loves in some ways and learnt to love again and again, learnt that love is like a phoenix. It's the kiss of who learnt to love themselves as they gave love to each other. It is so easy for Sicheng to accept that Yuta loves him as much as he does, and it feels so natural to be loved like that.
Yuta pulls back and pecks him softly, once, twice, thrice, again and again, until Sicheng opens his mouth and gasps and Yuta dives in again, entering Sicheng's buccal cavity and relays his love to each and every nook. Sicheng trembles and a teardrop makes its way out of his eyes. It feels so good as Yuta tongues his inner cheek, his tongue, his teeth, the underside of his tongue and more and more and more. Sicheng just wishes to be loved and loved and loved. By Yuta, always, never stopping.
Yuta pulls back when Sicheng feels he needs air and caresses his cheek.
Sicheng's eyes are still closed as Yuta's thumb runs over where Sicheng's just felt a line of hot tear fall through. "Love, are you with me? Are you okay?" His voice is so melodious, and so, so, so warm, Sicheng wants to drown. He doesn't even question how Yuta knows there are tears when the rain is so strong. He opens his eyes and looks into Yuta's pretty ones. "I love you."
Yuta's smile is blinding then. "I love you too, my baby." Sicheng attacks him with an embrace and Yuta's laugh at that is just so adorable. "I think we should go inside, we're already too soaked. Let's not get sick, sweetheart."
"Yuta," he calls when Yuta has led them to their apartment, the key slotted into the front door's keyhole. "Yes, Sichengie?" he answers, unlocking the door. "I'm yours. Always," Sicheng answers back as Yuta brings them inside. Yuta looks at him with his huge bambi eyes, there's sincerity and gratefulness there and Sicheng's heart does this thing where it goes back to when they were new and every little thing Yuta did for him skipped his breath. "And I yours, Sicheng. Always."
They're soaking wet, their floorboard will probably receive a little damage, but how can Sicheng worry about anything when Yuta pulls him to his chest. But then Yuta also dries him off, puts their dripping clothes into the dryer, cleans the floor, makes hot tea and then cuddles Sicheng under their warm blanket. "For as long as there is love in the world, Yuta, mine for you will keep growing," he whispers against Yuta's chest as he's about to doze off. Yuta hugs him tighter.
Teenager Sicheng would perhaps be extremely proud of him, he thinks, for accepting love so beautifully, giving it so unconditionally and for knowing he deserves it all.