Adult Content Warning
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Summary
How dare Blanca say he’s unlovable. How dare he say that while praising Ash-fucking-Lynx in the same breath? Everybody bow to Saint Ash! Yut-Lung is fire. Yut-Lung is an all consuming flame. He stands up with a wail and swipes at the decorative glass on the garden table. He hurls the glass at the concrete garden path, relishing in the satisfying crash as it shatters. Fuck Ash Lynx. He’s so sick of hearing about Ash. Why does Ash get everything he wants? What did he do to deserve it? What did Yut-Lung ever do wrong, ever do differently? His chest aches. He’s just a kid, why does Ash deserve more than him? What did he ever do?
He’s sobbing now, hot, embarrassing tears that carve lines into his foundation. He wants to hide his face in the bed sheets even if his makeup will stain them. He wants to-
He wants to-
He wants. So much. He wants so much, his chest could burst with the force of it. There’s no room in his body for all of this drive.
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yut-lung has a panic attack, runs around in the garden, fantasizes about his bodyguard, and gets tipsy. in that order. then the process starts all over again