Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Jason slowly opened his eyes. While he laid on his back he took in the searing pain. Every bone aches due to whatever the hell had just happened. The taste of copper and the scent of smoke reached his senses after he began to try and observe his surroundings. It was easy to determine the copper as blood. Coming from where? He could not tell in the slightest, he assumed it to be his own. It was dark, still night, he was stuck within a pocket of rubble, Moonlight peaking through the cracks, leaving him with a makeshift roof. There was just enough room for him to stand if he really wanted to. Then came the mystery of the smoke. This is when things began to click. He slowly sat up and the puzzle fell into place. An explosion, that's what happened. He was back in Gotham, kidnapped the joker, and tried to confront his adoptive father. With one elbow planted on the ground he reached up with his other hand to rub his neck. It hurt like hell. He assumed the pain was from falling on it wrong during the explosion. The wet spot he felt paired with the fresh blood now on his hand revealed another memory of what occurred. His Father Bruce chose the Joker over him. There was a batarang on the ground next to him, covered in his own blood. A small laugh of disbelief escaped Jason's mouth. He silently thought about how Bruce truly was just as bad as Willis. If not worse. He started to roll back into the ground, his eyes fluttering shut. Letting his mind go blank and letting death come once more. The physical pain started to overcome his body along with the emotional pain of losing yet another father.

Hopefully she would let him stay this time.

Unsurprisingly she did not. Fate had other plans in store for the former street rat.

He was rescued and recovered by Talia and slowly over the past few months he's made his way back into the Batfamily. More by the push of Alfred than anyone else. The butler was always the best father figure that has ever been in his life. He was technically more of a grandfather, but he was the one who taught him how to cook, how to do laundry, the wonders of Shakespeare, and how to be loved by a paternal figure.

While Bruce seemed more conflicted about the type of person Jason came back as Alfred was just happy the boy was back.

He slowly began reconnecting with his older brother and learning more about Tim. The kid was smart and Jason respected him for the dedication he often showed for what was important to him. The feelings were still mixed towards his “replacement”, but he was learning to live and forget.

Cassandra he had an insane amount of respect for. He trained with Lady Shiva, so to meet her daughter in the flesh was something he never thought he'd do. Everytime they talked he knew no lies would get past her. She would read his body language before any words reached her ears. For this reason he tried to avoid her as much as possible.

He rarely saw Steph. He felt a good deal of sympathy for her life story. Father involved with crime. Became a crime fighter, etc. So, they got along a good deal when they bumped into each other.
Damian was a special case out of all the bats. They never talked about it, but Jason remembered their time together in the league. He assumed the demon brat was probably too young to remember his “Akhi” as he called Jason when the boy was but an infant. They stayed quiet around each other.

When Jason was much younger he would’ve loved to have a family this big. Seemingly full of love between each other. But, It was best for him to keep his distance. He had too many secrets, too many feelings, too many things he still had to hide from them.

One of these things being death and how many times Jason has truly met with her. That and the fact that their father was directly responsible for one of them.

Chapter Text

Jason sat in his apartment cleaning out one of his guns. He looked over to a stack of papers on the countertop next to him. Letters addressed to each one of his “family members.” He decided to count the other day how many times he had died, only to come back. He lost count after an hour. The only thing he was able to quantify was seven of his deaths were by his own hand.

He was aging so he knew he wasn't necessarily immortal. Just seemed that Death really did not want him to join the party yet.

Jason was supposed to go on a mission with the bats. Arkham breakout plus Gang violence was a recipe for disaster, so against his better judgment he agreed. Three nights was all the time he had to prepare and to contemplate. He was just tired of this war that he's been fighting since he was picked up off the streets. Even before that he was fighting to survive, but that war took far less out of him. Working and constantly talking to the Bats just made him sick of dealing with it all. Fighting a battle he could never win.

He placed the pieces of the gun down on an old towel to air out. Standing up he took another glance at the stack of papers. A sigh escaped him. He wondered why the universe hated him so much, what did he even do to deserve the life he's been given.

By the time he found himself face to face with her again he hadn't even realized he added one more number to the total death count and one to death by his own hand.

Jason opened his eyes to a completely white space. Spanning all around him. Just plain white landscapes as far as the eye could see. He was sitting up from laying on his back when he heard a familiar voice.

“I would ask how you’re doing Jason, but I believe it’s pretty fair to assume you’ll tell me ‘fine’ when it's anything but fine.”

“Nice to see you too Death. I'm assuming you're about to tell me ‘it's too soon!’ and that I have to go back for the greater good or all that shit.”

Death simply chuckled. Pressing her lips into a slight soft smile. “You're learning quickly, so why have you come this time?”

“How many times?” he bluntly asked. His eyes for the first time this encounter meeting hers.

“Hm?”

“How many times have I been here? I want to know”

“I- ,” she paused for a moment before continuing “I’m afraid I can’t answer that until you answer my question. I did ask first after all.”

Jason stared right through her. Lost for a moment in his own mind. “I’m tired Death. I don’t know how much longer I can do this- this life shit. I don’t have a family anymore. They all hate me. I don’t understand why I need to keep coming back. It just all hurts.”

“30.”

“What?”

“You asked how many times you have visited my realm. It's around 30.”

Jason stared at his hands blankly.

“You’re needed Jason. I'm afraid you can't stay here any longer.”

With that statement from Death, Jason found himself being thrusted back into the real world. Back into the present and away from Death’s realm. He was laying on the cold floor of his bathroom until he felt the sudden need to throw up. He kneeled up and put his hands around the rim of the toilet. Vomiting the continents of his stomach. Looking over the bathroom his eyes fell on a seemingly empty bottle of pills. An indicator of how he crossed over this time. Grabbing his phone which began ringing on the countertop he sat back on the wall tucking his knees into his chest and pressed the ‘answer’ button on his phone.

Jason waited for whoever was calling to respond first

“Jay?” it was Dick

“What do you want, Dickwing?” Jason replied roughly. His throat is still sore. While rubbing it he tried to avoid the large jagged scar that was there.

“Is there any way you can come over tonight to help us all? We ended up hitting a bit of a roadblock with investigation and could use your help when it comes to some crime alley stuff.”

Jason glanced at the phone to check the time quickly. “Sure, whatever, I'll be over in 20.”

“Thanks Littlewing!” Dick said cheerfully before hanging up the phone.

With a groan Jason hit the back of his head on the wall and thought to himself that things couldn’t get worse than this. Working with the bats had to be a sign of something good right?

Oh boy was he wrong…

Chapter Text

20 minutes came and went. The time between waking up and having to put up with this damn case was too short. He silently noted everyone present in the cave. Bruce, Dick, Tim, and Barbara were all crowded around the Bat-computer together reviewing information and making sure everything was correctly in the systems. Every once in a while Jason was able to interject info concerning crime alley. Criminals and lesser gangs that hung out in areas they needed extra information on.

Around the rest of the cave Cassandra and Stephanie were listening in and making small remarks to each other every once in a while.

He noticed Damian trying to get a peek in to look at whatever was on the computer. He was still a bit shorter than most of the Batclan. Duke was apparently away and unable to deal with the case. Jason thought how much he wished to be him. He just wanted to get away and deal with his own personal issues. Meaning he left off on a cliffhanger in the book he was reading and would rather be doing literally anything than reluctantly hanging out with the family.

So while he watched everyone and their individual family dynamics he saw how everyone seemed so comfortable. They had their place, their own role and it just all blended together so nicely. He leaned up against a railing and continued to observe. This head tilted down slightly as it turned to look at the long line of uniform cases. Eyes looked grimly upon the tattered and bloody suit that he had worn when the joker killed him. He quietly thought to himself how different things would’ve been if his mother- Sheila hadn’t been such a bitch. A cold hearted woman who never deserved him in the first place.

Could he have what everyone around him did? Would he be able to so effortlessly fit in with what should have been his family. Jason let these thoughts run through his head as his eyes started to look downwards, chin tilted slightly. He grabbed a cigarette from his pocket and flicked his lighter to get the tobacco burning. He held the lighter up to the cigarette and took his first puff as he was drawn out of his haze-like state by someone calling his name.

“Jay come on really?” Dick had yelled. Jason looked up with his eyes. A slightly quizzical look was on his face. He replied what dick was talking about when he not too kindly reminded him that Alfred and most of the family hates the fact he smokes. He sighed heavily and put out the cigarette on the bottom of his shoe. Tucking is behind his ear like a pencil as it was still mostly fresh.

Under his breath he mumbled something along the lines of “it’s not like is gonna kill me anyways.” He thought it was quiet enough that no one could hear him. But, somewhere between his first glances at the entire family and getting scolded like a child for smoking by his older ‘brother’ Damian was a lot closer to him than he remembered. The two looked at each other for a brief moment. Eyes met each other. But, Damian had a sort of worried look on his face. As if there was something he didn’t want to admit or acknowledge he knew. Jason wondered if he did know and if so how the absolute hell. After the 6 seconds they looked at each other there was a large clap that sounded his attention. Alright so I guess that concludes our little meeting today. Everyone clear on the plans for tomorrow night?”

With a jumble of yeses and head nods everyone started to walk away to do their own things .

___

With Jason back at his own safe house he looked over the summarized report that the oracle had handed out. This new drug on the market was disproportionately affecting younger civilians. Teens and middle schoolers to be exact. There were few deaths but once someone tried it they were hooked. He looked over the paper again scanning for the ages and names of those lost
A kid named Jacob stood out to him. About 11 years old. He kept going in and out of jail. His father was in Jail while his Mom passed away from drugs a year ago. Now he had joined her. He passed away less than 48 hours ago. He was probably still fresh on death’s mind. In one of the conversations Jason had with her he remembered discussing how hard it was to deal with the loss of young individuals. She noted quietly that whenever she comes face to face with children their names and essence remains in her mind longer than that of an average soul.

He looked over to the bathroom and to a box of fresh razor blades he had on the counter. It was a long shot but there was no information on who was dealing these drugs. They seemed to just show up out of nowhere. He had to try to get some sort of helpful information rather than just patrolling around with the bats.

As he made his way to the bathroom to fill up the tub he didn’t even bother to let the water warm up. He hurriedly wanted to get this done and over with. This time he would prefer to come back, but if death kept him he thought that it wouldn’t be so bad. He stepped into the tub fully clothed sans shoes and left one long but along his left forearm. Rarely did the scars left behind by his deaths become too noticeable due to his enhanced healing from the Lazarus pit. The water ran over his arms. The lukewarm water mixes with the blood. He threw his head back as black spots started to appear in his vision. He felt contempt. Like he was going to become whole again once he crossed over. Then everything went dark as his body was washed away into Death's Realm.

“Oh Jason, what have you done now?”

His eyes jolted open. He looked around the ever expanding white space they were in. Him and Death again face to face. He was laying on his back as she looked down on him curiously.

“This is… how do I put it? Interesting.” She stood up straight as Jason scrambled to his feet. As he opened his mouth to ask a question Death simply held up her pointer finger to quiet him for longer.” What is the reason for your visit?”

“what is this? The Goddamn doctor’s office” He stared her down. When it was evident she wasn’t playing any games he spoke again. “I was wondering if I coul-“

“No.”

“wait I didn’t even ask my-“

“You don’t need to, the answer is no. I'm not going to even entertain such a ludicrous idea.”

“If you know what I was going to ask what's the point in you ever having a conversation with me”

Death smiled slightly, turning her head away from Jason Slightly. “Simple. Sometimes you need to hear things yourself. Your intentions. Your feelings. You need to actualize things. But, I’m not going to let you even grace my ears with such a ridiculous request as to see a child killed by drug use so soon after he passed over.” He gazed over at Jason. Judgment dripped from her look. He had never seen her seemingly this upset. Not sad, but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what was bothering her.

Jason turned away. Only to be brought back to reality by the sound of a sigh. He looked at death who pinched the bridge of her nose. “Listen Jason, you better than anyone know how deaths this young are awful to see. I did visit you when you were too young to go once before. This child, unlike you, had to go. I am invincible, but..” She turned to Jason now. If he blinked he would’ve missed it: she was angry. The same type of anger Jason had towards whoever was fucking around in his turf, his home, Crime Alley. “Nick. Nickolas Steven Forman. That's the name of the guy who sold this Child. I won't give you any more favors like this one. The only reason why I’m telling you is because I should’ve collected his soul. Not the one I had to.”

“than-“ before Jason could finish his sentence he jolted upright in the tub. Red water splashing over the sides. He took a moment to collect his breath. Slowly counting in and out. He made quick work of starting to drain the tub and get out of his wet clothes. He was high off of adrenaline from dying, but also of the new lead he just gained. ‘Fuck anyone who messes with the kids of crime alley’ is all Jason repeated in his head as he got the bathroom tidied.

__

He wiped down every surface and after 20 minutes he began to properly wrap up the wound on his arm. He was so eager to get to work he just lazily wrapped the wound beforehand. As he sat down in the living area of the safe house he heard the window open from the kitchen.

“Hey Littlewing” Dick? What the fuck was dick doing here. Jason thought for a split second before Said Dick came into the house fully dressed in his knighting outfit.

“oh my god what happened?” Luckily all Dick could see was the bandage on Jason’s arm. Thinking quickly Jason just said, “bullet wound. Just graze me, don't worry.”

As that response seemed to calm his older brother he applied a final layer of bandage to his arm. Again he just thought about how grateful he was that he got one out of two layers of bandage on his arm before Dick came in unannounced.

“anyways any luck on finding new intel on the case?”

“it's only been what? 12 hours? Do you really think I work that fast?” DIck just looked at Jason worryingly. Jason thought he maybe had something in his teeth before he spoke again.

“it's been almost a full day since you were in the cave Jay” Jason contained his shock when he heard this. He let out a small chuckle to try and indicate that he knew and was just messing around with Dick.

“Of course I know. Im just fucking around with you. Anyways yeah. Look into Nickolas Steven Forman. Dea-A uh, the informant I know gave me the name in reference to the new drugs on the street.”

“Huh, that's the furthest we’ve gotten in months. I knew getting you in on this case was the right idea. Thank you for agreeing. We honestly should not have waited till it started to get traded into crime alley before contacting you, but I didn’t want you to feel I was being… I don’t know too-“

“Pushy?”

“yeah, pushy.” Dick took a quick look around at the apartment before heading for the window he initially came in through.

“By the way Jason”

He turned his attention towards his older brother.

“I'm happy to be seeing you more. Take care of yourself alright?” Jason nodded. “If you get hurt, even if it's just a scrape, you can always call one of us for help. I know it may seem silly, but you're still my brother.”

Once he left Jason just stood there. He thought to himself that maybe things truly will get better.

Hopefully.

Chapter Text

So, as it turned out. Jason Peter Todd thought too soon.

He was able to get a couple of peaceful days between seeing Dick before he had to attend the next family get together. They had planned a steak out which proved to be uneventful. Jason thought this would lead to a break from the runions, but, yet again there he was. The only people in the cave that night were Dick, Tim, Bruce, and Damian. He was tricked to come to the cave and get some injuries he had gotten a few patrols ago, looked at, and in exchange he was promised some of Alfred’s cookies. He agreed because how could anyone say no to free cookies by the lovable butler.

Bruce was out of earshot and busy at work on the computer. Doing a mix of Wayne Enterprises stuff and Batman stuff. Jason couldn’t be bothered to ask or investigate. The only thing on his mind was to get in and out. To try and keep family bonding to a minimum. He felt he was already with them enough during patrols.

Bruce had been keeping an eye on him most nights in Crime Alley. When Jason went to look over his shoulder one of the Bats was always there. He understood the extra surveillance, after all there was the issue of a new highly lethal drug on the market, in his territory. The fact in and of itself was enough to make his blood boil, yet all he could do was sit back and play by Bruce’s rules. The second the bats got involved meant he had to follow the role of a good soldier, or else endure the lecture and verbal beating Bruce was sure to give.

He just wished he could fully be out of the nest, but there he was. In the cave. Stuck like an oversized robin. Pun intended.

Alfred had found some lacerations to his shoulder and lower back that needed proper stitching. Jason really tried to do it the best he could by himself so that way he could avoid the parental scolding Dick and Alfred would give him.

As soon as the butler started his whole “you need to take care of your wounds properly talk” he tuned out most of what was said. He mostly just nodded and agreed to the remarks that were made. Focused on a single spot on the floor, like his whole life depended on it. He stared as if he locked eye contact with anyone near him they’d see right through his tough guy persona, and they’d know he didn’t belong there.

Alfred brought a small Tupperware container filled with freshly made chocolate chip cookies into his line of sight; it inadvertently drew his gaze off of that spot.

“Thank you Alfie”

“Of course Master Jason. I do hope you come around more often. That way you’d actually be able to get these fresh and maybe even bake. I do miss those days when you were young and I could never get you out of the kitchen with me.” A small smile was on his face as he spoke. He turned to address the rest of the group.

“Goodnight to you all. An old man still needs to get his sleep.” With a small nod he left and disappeared up the stairs to the manor.

For a minute Jason felt like he could breathe. The only noises that were present in the cave were the soft steps of Alfred as he ascended the steps to go to sleep and the noise of Bruce working away on his keyboard. Just as Jason was about to dash out of there to leave Dick spoke up breaking the silence.

“Jason please, can you like try and not die on us.”

“Been there done that Dick” Jason quipped. “Anyways, not the worst injury I’ve had on patrol. I get hurt all the time.” He rolled his shoulder to stretch it as he stood up.

“I know, but it feels like every time I see you… you’re always injured. When I stopped by the other day you were stitching up wounds all on your own.”

“Listen, I for one am very proud of my scars.”

“I don’t know why it would be such a big deal. Todd is too stubborn for death. He would just come back to annoy us for all of eternity.”

“See?! Damian gets it!” Jason says laughing slightly. He thought the kid was just joking around at first until he saw how dead serious his face was. It was wishful thinking on Jason’s behalf to think that Damian was actually trying to make a joke. He silently wished for Dick to say something, that way he wouldn’t have to stumble over his words in realization that Damaian knew something, and whatever he knew Jason did not want to elaborate on.

“Damian, that was one time. No, one really knows how that happened in the first place. I don’t know if you’re trying to be funny right now but he’s not immortal.” Dick said in a scolding tone.

Confused now Damians face just looked like a million questions were brewing behind his eyes. “Todd has… He's come back before. Did you idiots not just hear me?”

Now it was Dick and Tim’s turn to give confusing looks. Jason gave the youngest a death glare. He tried as hard as he physically could to say ‘shut the fuck up right now Damian’ with his eyes, as to not alert the other two who stood by him.

He thought Damian had completely forgotten about Jason’s time in the league. Chalked it up to him being so young at the time and repressing the trauma that comes with growing up in The League Of Assassins. But, what he was insinuating is that he remembered every time Jason Todd had died in order to protect the heir to the demon throne. Every sword through the back and/or assassination attempt.

It was as if some god out there listened to Jason’s silent prayers to get him out of the situation as soon as possible when Bruce all called them to the computer.

While the boys headed over to the computer he eyed Damian. He gave him the ‘we need to talk’ look because if he could remember Jason dying only to wake up disgruntled then who knows what secrets the brat had been spilling. Did Bruce know? Did he somehow know when he slit Jason’s throat with a batarang?

Thoughts continued running through his head. He thought about how yes, death is a very very lovely individual but his little problem with her, he would rather the family not know how unwilling she has always been about letting him cross over to the other side.

That essentially: He had a death wish but she was not willing to answer it.

So, as the four boys entered the main area of the cave where Bruce was, he played out instructions for tonight’s patrol. Bruce had received word from Oracle that a large shipment of the new highly addictive drug was tracked down. Through this they would be able to intercept and figure out who was behind these operations. Seeing as Crane has been in Arkham for the past couple of months either he had someone helping him on the inside (which was highly unlikely ) or some maniac was trying to steal his shtick.
Bruce had instructed that Jason and Tim head out together to patrol closer to the docs. While him, Dick, and Damian remained two or so blocks behind the two. Cassandra, Steph, and duke would take care of any other business in Gotham in case criminals seeing five of the bats patrolling the same area made them feel extra daring tonight. At first Jason wanted to argue about why he had to go with the ‘replacement’, as he had so affectionately nicknamed him. He wondered why him and not the other three members just doing basic patrol tonight. He would’ve loved to watch over crime alley instead of doing some fucked up family bonding, but before he could argue and ask questions the bikes and batmolbile had started up. Engines were revving and Jason had lost his chance to speak up.

“Are you coming Jason?” Rolling his eyes and placing his helmet on his head he jumped on his bike, and followed Tim out of the cave.

__

The loose gravel and broken glass cracked underneath Jason’s combat boots. The docs became closer and close to sight. He glanced back and forth between the bay coming into view and the younger brother he so desperately he did not want to be with at the moment. Jason noticed how tense Tim was next to him. Behind the domino mask it was hard to read his overall demeanor. He wished so desperately at that moment that he had the capabilities of Cass. That he could just give the boy one quick glance and be able to read his mind. The ride there was silent and the walk to the dock even more so.

Through the line of the comms there was constant chatter back and forth. Bruce was going on about patrol paths for everyone. Everything else was completely in one ear out the other.

“So how's school going?” Jason desperately tried to make small talk.

“you know I dropped out right?” Yeah sure, Jason thought.

“yeah… cool, cool.”

There was still a bit of a walk to go on foot. Tim worked away on his wrist computer. Compiling data and taking in every ounce of detail he could from the scene they were about to enter.

“I really don’t get why you don’t just come around more Jason. Like everyone would like you back at the manor. Hell, even Damian mentioned you the other day and you know how much the brat seemingly hates everyone.”

“What do you mean Demon Brat mentioned me?”

“Just like, I don’t know, it was a pretty backhanded comment anyways. He brought up during one of our sparring matches that I shouldn’t pull my punches and that you would actually try. I swear it's a miracle he hasn’t tried to kill me again, I guess.” Tim rambled on speaking a lot with his hands and arms.

“Listen Timbers. As much as I love our vigilante family bonding sessions, which is practically zero. I would rather have this case finish up and be over and done with that way you all can go back to ignoring me and hating me as normal.”

“I don't know who gave you the idea we all hated you. I think the fact that Damian even tolerates you proves you have just as much of a place in the family as I do.” Tim slowly came to a halt.``as much as I think we do need to have this discussion, we do have a case to take care of and I can no longer contact Oracle or anyone else on the comms.” Jason stopped two or so yards in front of him.

“Wait, is that what you were doing on your little back to the future computer there?”

“ha, yeah. I noticed a little while back we were entering a black zone once my receiving audio started getting static-y. I told Her who told B, so everyone else who’s on patrol knows we can't hear them. Apparently they’re getting signal and audio from us though.”

“Weird. But, I'll take your word for it.”

Jason and Tim both looked to the warehouse.

“Alright come on replacement. Let’s get this over with quickly so I can go back home. This shouldn’t take us too long. Easy peasy in and out.”

__

Jason swore to himself to stop thinking things for him were actually going to go his way. The first part of the mission was a success. Criminal apprehended? Check. Scheme foiled? Check. Make it out alive without traumatizing one Timothy Drake. Somehow he failed to check that off.

Tims rebreather was broken when The last of the criminals they were tying up decided to throw a smoke grenade mixed with lord knows what chemicals in it on the floor. Causing said unknown gas and smoke to fill the room. Jason being the o so generous brother he was, gave Tim his helmet which left his skull wide open for the bullet he received through it.

He really wished he could’ve seen the look on Tims face, just for memories sake. He thought on the bright side he would get to see the reaction from the family once he woke up again. As he started to drift off into consciousness he realized that if his family decided to bury him preemptively he was going to be more than a little pissed. Digging one’s self out of their gave once was one times too many for the average individual.

As his eyes opened to the infinite whiteness he groaned as he sat himself up on his knees. He already received a nice headache from the bullet. With one hand on the ground and another on his head he spoke to the white nothingness.

“I swear to all that is holy and unholy that if I have to dig myself out of my grave again I am going to stay down there and keep dying of oxygen deprivation until you finally let me cross over.

“Well it's nice to see you too.” He looked up to see death with a cup of tea looking at him though squinted eyes.

“It's time we talked Jason Todd”

Oh, he was fucked.

Chapter Text

Tim's POV

At the moment the last thing Tim Drake should've been thinking of was“if I had a nickel for every time my childhood hero has died - I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's strange it happened twice.

He turned to where the shot came from, as he stared down the criminal through Red Hood's mask the man was shaking. His gun landed on the ground and echoed through the warehouse.

“Holy shit, i can't believe I-I shot the red hood I-” Tim cut him off with a tranquilizing dart. His mind was in too many places at once to deal with the man. His attention was solely on Jason now. He dropped to his knees and shook his shoulder gently at first, “Hood. Red hood,” there was still no response as he began to shake harder. Tim hit his emergency signal as he took in Jason's form - laid on his stomach face to the ground. It looked almost as if he just passed out rather than just got shot.

“Red H- Jason please this isn't funny get up.”

As he moved Jason onto his back to get a better look at him. He noted that there was a clear entry and exit point on his head. He was able to track the path of the shot, and his eyes found the bullet a few yards away on the ground. He moved closer to Jason, as he lifted his head into his lap he noticed just how much blood there was. He tried to ignore it as best as he could, but as he brought his hands to hold Jason’s head he saw that his gloved hands were already covered.

His shaking hand searched desperately for a pulse on his neck.

“Jason. Jason. Please you can’t do this to us again. I- I can’t-” Tears started to trail down Tim’s face and fell onto Jason below. He curled around his brother - his Robin - and let them fall. Quiet whispers begging asking him to get up.

Dicks POV

Considering how many years Dick has been patrolling as a vigilante ( first as Robin, then Nightwing, for a little bit he was even Batman while Bruce was lost in time, then back to Nightwing) he really shouldn’t have been surprised that not everything went as planned.

Everyone had started on their way back home as the night shift came to an end. Dick and Bruce stayed out for a bit longer as they had not heard back from Jason and Tim. Once those two checked in for the night everyone would be accounted for. So, when Bruce got the emergency signal from Tim they started to rush over to the warehouse. Bruce communicated with Barbara over the status of the comms. They were down on both ends now. No calls were able to come in and no calls were able to come out.

This gave Dick a little bit of hope that this was just the two boys maybe got leg injuries or they couldn't get home without extra help. He was really wishing it wasn't anything drastic, just that was the only way they could contact anyone.

As they approached the warehouse all the goons were knocked out and neatly tied up. Dick silently reassured to himself that, again, all they probably needed was a pickup. There were no outside threats and it seemed as if everything was taken care of.

The first thing that he saw was out of place was the singular guy with a tranquilizer dart sticking out of him laying on the floor. He examined the figure as he followed Bruce further into the warehouse. Dick didn’t even notice Bruce stop dead in his tracks until he nearly ran into him. His eyes now taken away from trying to figure out why the hell this one guy wasn't secured away with the rest of the goons.

“Batman? Why'd you-.” He moved to stand next to Bruce and see what had caught him so off guard.

It was Tim. Holding Jason in a pool of blood.

He rushed over to his little brothers, sliding on the ground in a rush to figure out what was going on. He put a hand on Jason's neck, but his hands shook too much to even try and look for a pulse. He reached his other hand out to Tim’s face, and observed his distraught expression. The tear tracks and bloodshot eyes made it clear to Dick that he had been crying for a while.

With the delicate touch from Dick it brought Tim out of his sock induced trance. He now realized there were more people in the room with him now.

“H-he wont wake up. I-” he choked back tears - unable to finish his sentence. Dick saw where the blood was coming from now. His eyes were stuck on Jason’s face where he saw the bullet wound.

There was no indication of pain on his face, nor was there shock. It was only that of peace and contempt. Blank. Emotionless.

“Jason, no you- come on. You can't do this to me again.” He lightly hit Jason's face to try and wake him up, shaking him slightly. He turned his head to look over at Bruce, who was still frozen in his tracks. Dick shook his head before letting his own tears start falling down his face.
Bruce slowly began to walk over and as he reached the body of Jason he crouched down to lift his son up.

Dick knew at that moment Bruce must have felt like history was repeating itself. Carrying his dead son, Killed on the job, while both of them donned their vigilante personas.

Dick was only grateful that he could actually be for his family this time.

The drive back to the manor was practically silent. There was no chatter between the three as Dick laid in the back holding Jason's form while Tim sat up front. Bruce’s knuckles were white underneath his gloved hands as he tightly gripped the steering wheel. He was only brought out of his trance when they all finally pulled up to the manor.

Bruce only told Alfred,“Its Jason, he… we have a 10-54” which Dick recognized as police code for “possible fatality”

He wasn't yet ready to admit his second son had died a second time.

As the doors to the cave opened up only Alfred was standing there with a cot at his side. His face dropped from a neutral expression to one of great grief when he realized that Jason Todd was dead again. There wasn't any doubt about it. Dick carried Jason’s body out of the car and placed him onto the cot gently, as if he would disintegrate if he wasn't as careful as could be with his younger brother.

Alfred layed a stark white blanket over the boy after looking for any sign on a pulse-any sign of life. He initially folded the blanket just below the boy's shoulders before opting to cover his face completely. Letting the blanket dangle off of every edge of Jason’s resting place and completely covering his body.

“I will begin the preparations Master Bruce”

Alfred walked away to one of the closed off medical rooms with Jason, as he left the other three to stand in solemn silence.

“Damian you can come out from behind the computer now” Bruce said as he pushed back his cowl.

“He's not dead”

“Dami- I know this is going to be-”

“Quiet Grayson, Jason Todd is not dead this time. He’s come back before and he will come back again. There is no need to go grim. I am seriou-”

“Damian for once in your life can you please just shut up?” Tim's outburst resulted in Damian giving him a shocked glance

“I know you haven't had to go through this before but.. Fuck, i mean you don’t know how much Jason dying the first time effected everyone. So please, just shut up.” It was clear to hear the slight quivering in Tims voice now.

“You all really don’t listen to me. If mother was here she would understand. Hopefully she's in Gotham tonight” Before anyone was able to say anything to the boy he ran upstairs.

Bruce just melted into the chair by the Batcomputer. His hands buried into his face and breaths unsteady.

“What do we tell them?”

“Bruce we-we just have to Tell them that he died again. Luckily everyone is here. Nobody is off-world like I was-the-the first time.” Dick’s eyes focused on the case in the batcave containing the suit Jason wore when he went off to Ethiopia. Laced with holes and tears in the fabric. Blood made the green parts of the suit look more dark brown than their original shade.

Dick didn't even notice Tim leaving until he came back with the rest of the family in tow. Stephanie and Cass walked behind him. Dick thought Damian must have run off or refused to go back downstairs with the rest of them.

As Tim and Bruce began to explain to everyone else present what had happened he stared off into the distance.

Chapter Text

“So how's it been? Its been like ages since I la-“ he tried to speak with a sense of casualness to hide the anxiety slowly growing within him,

“Not now Jason.”

She wasn’t looking at him. Just into the endless horizon. She puts down her cup of tea on a table that appears just as quickly as it vanishes. Jason watched as she approached him. Her face in the moment was unreadable but Jason suspected she was mad. At what? He had no clue.

As she squatted down slightly in front of Jason he thought once their eyes met he would be able to tell what she was thinking. But, nothing. Her face is just as blank as the void surrounding them. That was until her eyes softened slightly.

“Why do you run? It's not even in the traditional way. I-I just really don’t understand you.” There is warmth behind the question. She ends her sentence with a slight smile, and talks to him as if she was a concerned parent seeing her kid get hurt at a sports event.

She slowly sat herself on the ground next to him. Both sat facing the same direction just observing the blank horizon. She made sure to keep a good distance between her and Jason as she just gazed.

The bleakness reminds Jason of a blank page or an empty room. The first page in a notebook or sketchbook. It's not a bad emptiness that is void of all meaning, but the kind that has so much potential to become something. He thinks of how he would fill the space. Make it more like a house. Afterall, in some ways, he already thought of it as a home.

He sat on this thought waiting for death to speak up and break the silent tension. The death that he just experienced, a death like this one: sudden and gruesome and not by his own hand. It made him feel not in control of his own narrative. As if nothing he did would change the path that the universe has already laid out for him.. How whoever was writing “the life of Jason Todd '' must really hate him for whatever reason. He wished he could write the version of himself that went to school and became an author or a teacher.
“What has you smiling?”
“Sorry, I- I was just thinking. What did you want to talk about?”
She gave out a small sigh before she spoke. “It's depressing isn’t it?”
“what?”
“the vastness” She gestured to the space, “The... endlessness.” She looked at him beefier continuing. “ Have I ever told you my full title?”
Jason shook his head side to side. “no.”
“Ah, I thought maybe I did, but I’ve lost track of our encounters it seems. I do like having you around Jason, don’t get me wrong, but you know just as well as I do I can not keep you here.”
They sat there for a moment before Death broke the silence.
“What does endlessness mean to you Jason?” He was taken aback. He was never asked a question like this, but part of him knew his question was coming. His consciousness which had him focus and really examine this space. He was trying to prepare himself to come up with a semi- decent answer.
“I really don’t know.” He flopped down onto his back. “I also don’t know why you’re asking.”

She conjured a daisy in her hand. Its petals were fresh and bright. She started to pluck the flower slowly. The act confused Jason. He knew She was probably using it as prop for what she was about to say.
“Its funny, Most people who are frequent ‘guests’ of mine their visits are never more than the petals on a daisy. Im able to pick this flower...” Jason watched as the parts of it fell to the ground.” The amount of times they’ve been here, and still there's always at least one petal left.” She held up the daisy with it’s single petal up to Jason’s face.” But you Jason todd. You have died enough times that I would go through half a dozen. That's odd don’t you think?” She dropped the naked flower to the ground as it turned into ashes and blew away.
“Okay why are you saying this like it's not your doing? Long ago I would’ve been happy to just cross over you know this!”
“You see, Death is my realm, my specialty, I know you know this, but for whatever reason it seems your deaths do not belong to me in the way others would.” Jason looked at her as she spoke nonchalantly. He had so many questions right now. “You're unique, I have some theories as to why. Maybe it's time you owned your deaths. Instead of acting like you’re this cursed being that doesn’t deserve trust, happiness, or any sort of relationship. Try and live a day as just Jason Peter Todd. Like today may be your last. Afterall imagine if that was how you went out? Tim watching his childhood hero get a bullet through the brains?” Jason cringed. It was easy to laugh off coming back and such but to imagine that being his last moments. For Tim to be there and for him to no doubt feel like the was guilty. Which he really shouldn’t feel, but knowing the kid that was his MO.
“Regardless though..” Death continued'' It seems like it's time for you to return back to your family. DO me a favor and this goes around, when you wake up, Try and think about what I asked you. But also think about eternalness for me. I'm interested to hear your own unique views on the matter. Also, if its not too much. Spend some time with your family. They’re more trustworthy than you think.
As he felt himself start to wake up he looked at her one final time.
“hey death?”
“Yes Jason?”
“Youre fucking with me when you say ‘you don’t know why I don’t belong to your realm’ aren’t you.”
She smiled at him as he felt a strong pull towards the world of mortals.
“Maybe I'm, as you would put it... ‘pulling your leg.’ but, you wont know if you don’t listen to me”

Chapter Text

It was only four or so hours that passed and the mansion felt even more cold and uninviting than ever before

At this point, after being told the news of Jason's death while patrolling, most people had scattered about the mansion. Alfred had left Jason peacefully in the closed off med-bay room. Placing a blanket over his body and head. His emotions were too strong and mournful to properly deal with any sort of death or funeral preparations then and there.

Most had retreated back to their rooms. Dealing with the news their own way. While the common living spaces were empty. To them it didn’t feel right to occupy such spaces at the moment.

Bruce and Dick were the only two in the cave. They found comfort in their work. In fighting crime. So, for them it felt wrong to take a break in a moment like this. Their reasoning? Crime didn't rest. The type of crime that killed Jason didn't rest. So, why should they?

They were suddenly snapped out of their thoughts at the sound of a loud bang from upstairs. It was the tell tale sign of a door being slammed.

Before they could even begin to question who it was they recognized the unmistakable sound of two pairs of footsteps ringing throughout the cave. One belonging to Damian and the other Daughter of the Demon's Head herself, Talia Al Ghul.

Bruce realized Damian must have called Talia after he ran upstairs.

Talia's footsteps eluded annoyance and worry at the same time. Steps pointed and assured as she rounded the corner. Her eyes met with Bruce. There was a stark difference between the glances shared between the two. One pair held anger and frustration while the other seemed tired and vengeful.

“Talia. What are you doing here?” Bruce asked. Dick stepped back. Choosing not to get involved. Far too tired and worn down from the events from the night to argue for or against either one of them. He simply stood and watched the scene unfold

She came to a stop in front of Bruce. Not caring to acknowledge Dick besides the slight glance she gave him. She could tell from the short look he needed a break. She pushed her maternal instincts to the side though and focused back on Bruce.

“Where is he?” From the corner of her eye she could see Damian as he gave her a cold glance. She could read the exasperation in his eyes.

“Talia, I already asked you. What are you doing here?”

She turned on her heels standing face to face with Bruce.

“If you think I'm leaving Jason in your care you must think me to be a fool.” Damian began to walk towards the medical bay where he assumed Jason would be. She pushed past him to follow her son. Tuning out any objections from the man.

He grabbed her by the wrist, preventing her from moving any further towards the med bay.

There is a slight waiver in Bruce’s voice as he begins to speak “He’s dead Talia, he’s gone. There is nothing more that you can do-” she ripped her hand away forcefully.

“Father if you would just listen to me then-” she raised a pointed finger up towards Damian. Signaling to him to shut up.

“You know nothing Bruce. It is a miracle that both my boys find it in their heart to love you as a father. Damian I can understand, but Jason? Do you know how many times he has practically begged for your approval? For your love? Then even when you only bring pain into his life, he somehow always returns for some god forsaken reason. He confides in me much more than you think.”

As she makes her way to the only closed medical room door Bruce seemingly wants to get a word in edgewise but she refuses to allow it.

“I would expect nothing less than for you to inadvertently hurt your ‘children’ but, to not listen to our son and not believe he is telling the truth is an insult to mine and Damian’s intelligence.”

“Talia what are you-”

‘Listen to me!!” The last of her composure was seemingly lost due to pure frustration.

Her hand is on the door to the room she assumes Jason is in.

“Jason Todd is alive.”

She pushes the handle down and the door opens. The door opens into the room and Bruce just wants to look away. He is sure that looking at the dead body of his second son for a second time would send him spiraling. Against every instinct telling him to look anywhere but where Jason is, he looks.

He looks and sees a very much alive Jason Todd Sitting up on a bed he was dead on a few hours ago.

Chapter Text

Bruce stood there unmoving. Eyes slightly wide in shock and confusion. He thought about pinching himself for about the 100th time that night, thinking that this all was just a dream. But, before he could break himself out of shock Dick made his presence known again.

“J-jaybird?” He sounded so hesitant when he spoke. Afraid that if he said his brother’s name any louder he'd disappear or drop dead again.

The tension in the medical part of the cave was thick. No one had dared speak for a few moments until Jason began to get up.

“Im leaving”

“Like hell you are. Tim watched you die. I personally checked your pulse. Dick just thought he lost you again. I- I thought I lost you again. You're explaining what that was, you are not leaving." Bruce seemed desperate as he spoke, positioning himself in the door frame as to somewhat block Jason in.

Jason began to gather whatever items that belonged to him that were in the room. He stayed quite and refused to speak further about the situation. He didn't want to talk. He had never wanted to talk to bruce, at least since the night he left him for dead, the night he chose the Joker Over him. He pushed those thoughts aside and deep down and continued packing.

He wanted to get out as fast as possible and the last thing he wanted to do was discuss whatever was going on in his life with bruce.

“I’m going home. Taking a shower to get the matted blood out of my hair and then taking a three day long nap” he spoke quickly as he shoved items into a random duffle bag he found near him.

He gave Talia a look as he faced the doorway looking to leave. Not knowing if it was raw emotions, pit induced rage, or a mix of the both he lashed out at her “Why are you even here? Did Damian call you? You know I can handle this shit on my own now right? I'm an adult you don't have to baby me like you do the brat.” he turned his attention towards bruce

“Get out of my way i'm leaving”

“As much as I hate to agree with Bruce.. recently Damians concern with you has me…somewhat concerned myself. I don’t know what's going on in your life now but-”

“What if I don’t want to talk? I'm fine as you can all see. More than fine actually considering I escaped Death yet again.” he pushed bruce slightly to the side ignoring the concerned looks from the people surrounding him.

“Jason, listen, maybe Bruce and Talia are right and we should talk about this before you run off.” Ignoring his older brother he moves forward, Dick is saying he grabs his forearm causing him to pause in shock for a second. His mind suddenly trusted thoughts of the times he had met death through a cold razer meeting his wrists or even just the cigarette ends that his father used to burn into his skin.

He yanked his arm away. Expression cold and he seemed unsure of himself. He regained composure quickly reminding himself where he was.

“No. im leaving. I’m done talking for today. I already had to have a conversation with someone I saw sooner than expected.” his voice wavered only slightly

Not wanting to fan the flames more. Talia, Bruce, Damian, and Dick just stood there unsure of what to do as Jason left. Talia knew it was unwise to chase after him in the moment. His emotions were too volatile to reason with for the time being.

Just when Jason thought he was in the clear Damian spoke up

“You’ve been doing it again haven't you?”

“Damian I swear to god if you don't shu-”

“Akhi- please answer the question.” Damian's tone was sincere, concerned even. Years of learning to hide his emotions and still in this moment they were showing through.

“I don’t have to tell you anything. In fact! I’m a fucking adult with my own life. I’m leaving.”

“How many times have you seen Death Akhi” Jason paused. The honorary name did something to him. Made him cave and just wanted to comfort his little brother. Wanted to shield him from the world like he did when Damian was first born and they were in the league together.

Jason’s hands balled into tight fists. He couldn’t not respond to him, he was one of the few people in this entire world he would protect with his entire life. In Fact he has, he has died over and over again protecting Damian when he was little.

Refusing to look at Damian he spoke up “She wouldn't tell me an exact number. All I was told was 30 or so times.”

The room was dead quiet as Talia and Damian seemed shocked, while on the other hand Bruce and Dick just seemed confused and lost not fully understanding the conversation at hand.

Jason grabbed his things and left. Not daring to say a word more and he quietly exited.

By the time he was fully gone Talia turned to the group.

“This is much worse than I thought.” She looked at Bruce as if her heart was torn apart. The type of pain you see most when a parent’s child is hurt or dead.

“What the hell is going on.” Dick ran his hands through his hair in confusion. Trying to wrap his mind around all of this.

“Talia, what do you know?” Bruce sat down with a far away look. He too was beyond confused. Just wanting answers as to what was going on with Jason, caring in his own type of way.

“Bruce… he- “ she didn't quite know how to continue, so she made sure to choose her words carefully. She let out a small sigh as she too sat down.

“I don’t know how much Jason has told you, and I know he wants to have a relationship with you. As much as I dread that considering how much you've hurt my boy. I want to protect him. I want him to heal, I want him to properly talk to you, I want you to talk to him and for you to admit your wrong doings.” Bruce knew this was not the time to object to any of Talia’s words against him. He kept quiet with his lips tight.

“When I found Jason in Gotham it was after he dug himself out of his grave. He was not himself. Almost comatose and lucid. I took him back home with me and tried to nurse him back to health without the assistance of the pit. Trained him. I wanted to protect him, but also keep him away from the very place that killed him. Keep him away from Gotham.” She paused for a moment considering how to continue. “An attack had happened and Jason was killed again, I sobbed over his body when I found him on the battlefield. Except not more than a few hours later he opened his eyes again as if nothing happened. Bruce, this happened without the use of the pit.”

“Talia what are you saying”

“He came back from the dead on his own, and this was not the first time after his initial resurrection he came back. When Damian was born there were attempts on his life. Jason was the one to take the fatal injuries meant for our son. He died for Damian without a second thought. Only to come back, without the use of the pit. I tried to use it to repair his mind and bring him back to how he was before. When he was with you as robin. When he emerged it was with anger and aggression in his heart, but as I watched him I realized this probably all came from a place of fear. From what? I have no clue.”

“Then he died again after the pit protecting me.” Eyes went from Talia to Damian. “I believe he thought I would be too young to remember such a moment. But, I do. He died for me and then came back again without the use of the pit. It seemed as if based on Mother’s accounts and my own, the pit only made the process of him coming back to life quicker.”

“What did you mean before when you said Damian was concerned?” Dick asked.

“He, and by extension myself, believe he's been purposefully causing some of his own deaths. Damian had noticed odd scars and injuries after only disappearing for a bit. Seemingly knowing more information than seems normal. He and I believe he's been meeting with death to get information. There's only one way you can meet death…”

She waited a moment before continuing taking a deep breath

“By dying, and in this case, by killing one’s self.”