Archive of Our Own ^beta

Things Bryce has bought, or tried to buy, as gifts for Jared, in no particular order:

• This shmancy Swedish soda-making machine (so he can have wine spritzers whenever he wants)
• So many watches. So many
• Custom shampoo & conditioner for his specific hair colour and type
• An extremely expensive DSLR camera (because for some reason he likes those black & white photos, so maybe he would enjoy learning to take them??)
  • and a kit for making a pinhole camera (yeah, it’s for kids, so what?)
  • and some darkroom equipment, until he realized there was nowhere Jared could use it and reluctantly shelved the idea for now
• Several different monthly coffee subscriptions
• Basically the entire stock of the David’s Tea website, including a travel tea mug, an iced tea pitcher, a travel iced tea mug, and a selection of tea measuring spoons 
• A 3D puzzle of the Eiffel Tower (because the Eiffel Tower is ✨romantic✨, Jared, everyone knows this)
  • Attached to the box is an IOU for a  ✨romantic✨trip to France
  • Jared is kind of appalled by the expense, but also France sounds cool and he’s never been to Europe, so
  • And indeed, they have an awesome time and eat a shit-ton of kick-ass food
  • But wow, all those years of Core French both of them took really, really did not help
• A Stitch Fix subscription (because let’s be honest, someone needs to help Jared dress like an adult)
• An Avengers wall calendar, heavy on the Bucky Barnes (this was Erin’s idea; she didn’t tell him about the Sebastian Stan thing, because she loves Bryce but she’s still a hobgoblin)
• A large framed print of one of Jared’s Media Day photos (OK, this was more of a present for Bryce…)
• A MeUndies subscription (because apparently in the Marcus-Matheson family, matching Xmas PJs are just not sufficient)
• A wine fridge (because Jared likes white wine, and white wine goes in the fridge)
• Really a lot of suits
  • and shirts, in colours chosen to complement Jared’s eyes, skin, and hair
  • and ties
  • and cufflinks
  • and a whole drawer of that specific type of socks Jared was angling to steal at the time he found the poorly hidden engagement ring
• A Flames picnic blanket (for nostalgia reasons, but also a little bit to troll him)
  • And an Oilers picnic blanket
  • And then a Canucks picnic blanket
• A custom-made weighted blanket
• A framed Jared Matheson Hitmen jersey
• A framed Jared Matheson Oilers jersey
• A framed Jared Matheson Canucks jersey
• An Okanagan winery tour
• An assortment of aprons with cheesy sexy slogans on them
• A trip to Costa Rica
• A Jaguar electric car
  • It's environmentally friendly, Jared!
  • Jared makes him give it back, and buys a Toyota instead: just as electric, one-quarter of the price
• Chocolates from Soma, Nadège, Chocolate Lab, Daniel le chocolat belge, etc. 
  • because all Jared said was “no Godiva”—he didn’t explicitly say that Bryce couldn’t get something more expensive than Godiva
• Flowers, because Bryce likes flowers and who doesn’t like flowers?! (Jared, that’s who)
  • usually seasonal bouquets of flowers Elaine likes (Elaine loves irises!)
  • but occasionally a big bunch of sunflowers, to troll him
  • and sometimes house plants, because he heard that they improve indoor air quality and also then Jared can’t complain that they’re just going to die in a week, so there, Jared
• 2 whole sets of Le Creuset cookware, which he read somewhere is The Best
  • In red, for their apartment
  • In blue, for Jared to use in Edmonton Vancouver
  • because Bryce is Extra
• The Best Possible Blender, because sure, Jared scorns smoothies, but surely he would like them if he could make really good ones himself??
• The Best Possible high-thread-count Egyptian cotton sheets, because Jared needs to sleep optimally, and they have several copies of their awesome mattress, but the sheets matter too
  • Along with expensive pillows optimized for Jared's usual sleep positions
• A succession of laptops, like every time Jared's current laptop gets a tiny bit slow and Jared complains about it, Bryce starts researching laptops again
• A custom hockey jersey with the logo of Blythe's team on the front and "GOALIE DAD" on the back
  • He gets one for himself too
  • And every time she's on a new team, he buys a new set of custom jerseys