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“I shouldn’t have let her leave.”
Kageyama stares blankly at the wall instead of watching the show that is currently being displayed. The tiled floor beneath his feet are cold, and so is his heart, the heater seemingly not doing anything to warm him up. Another thing that’s cold is the ramen on the coffee table, barely touched, as well as the tea he’s supposed to drink before sleeping.
The clock hung on the other wall reads 12: 57 AM—way past his usual bedtime already. There’s no way that the setter can wake up with a clear mind in the morning, but he thinks that if he tries to sleep now then maybe he can at least have a quick run tomorrow. So he begrudgingly stands on his feet, shuddering at the lack of warmth as the blanket on his shoulders slide off, and begins to clean up his mess.
Only the sound of the television is what rings inside his apartment. No music, no shuffling of clothes, just him and the end credits of the show on TV.
He ignores the untouched dinnerware in the sink and heads to his room. At least it’s warmer here. He sluggishly crashes on top of his bed, enveloping himself with the thick blanket and closing his eyes, forcing for any unnecessary thoughts to not distract him from the sleep that he really needs right now.
Kageyama gradually opens his eyes, his body light and mind clear. He lifts his head and realizes that he’s not at his apartment upon seeing the sky above. He blinks rapidly in an attempt to make sense of his situation, and only then does he recognize the color and the shape of the clouds. Y/N’s going to leave for abroad.
He’s walking before even realizing it. The sound of his footsteps against the pavement echoes in his ears, and the cool wind blows his hair and hits his face. The airport comes to view in no time.
There’s no mistaking Y/N about to enter the building, her bright luggage standing out among the crowd. Kageyama picks up his pace to approach her, “Y/N!” He tries to call, yet no sound leaves him.
He halts right in front of her, catching his breath and at the same time trying to speak. “Y/N?” He tries again, air only tumbling from his lips.
Yet it seems like she heard him. She looks straight into Kageyama’s eyes, the ends of her mouth stretching into a huge smile. “Tobio, what are you doing here? Don’t—“
“Don’t go!” Kageyama holds on to her shoulders, surprised at the volume of his voice that suddenly increased. But he’s glad that he can speak now. “Don’t go, please.” He says, softer this time, still a bit out of breath.
She laughs, tilting her head to the side. “What are you talking about?” She asks, confused. “I need to go.”
“No.” He aggressively shakes his head, squeezing her shoulders a bit tighter to prove his stubbornness. “No, you can’t go, please.”
“But—“
“Let’s just buy another ticket. I’ll help save up this time, and—“
“You’re scaring me, Tobio.” She then takes a hold of his face, thumb grazing over the skin of his cheek. “Is everything okay?”
Kageyama knows something is wrong. There’s no warmth coming from her hand, he realizes. He puts one hand on top of hers, and sighs. “You can’t leave me here.”
“I’ll be back, silly.” Even though she smiles, it doesn’t feel real anymore.
The young setter begins to panic again. “That’s not it. You can’t—you won’t be able to come back anymore if you leave today.” A churn tingles in his stomach and there’s something clogging his throat as he briefly explains.
“Of course I’ll be back.”
He shakes his head, disagreeing. “Listen to me, Y/N!” He raises his voice, but when he says her name there’s no sound. “You’ll study abroad for a few months, then I’ll have a big game in college. So, so I’ll ask you to come back. But you don’t make it. Your plane crashes because of a storm.”
“You’re not making any sense, Tobio.” Y/N sighs and uses her other hand to completely cup his face. Her hands are still cold.
“You don’t make it,” he repeats. “You don’t make it back if you go abroad.”
There’s a moment of silence. The two of them are not looking away from each other, finding the right words to say next.
“… But I need to go, don’t I?”
“No.” Kageyama shakes his head again, taking a sharp breath. “I-I need you.”
“Tobio…” She sighs, her smile becoming sad and pitiful. “You don’t need me. You’re fine on your own. Just forget about me, and maybe find someone new.”
“I don’t… I don’t want that.” He takes one of her hands and placed a kiss on her knuckles. “I want you here, with me. “
Y/N then suddenly loses her footing and falls forward. But of course Kageyama catches her easily, pulling her up in his arms and looking at her face worriedly.
“It’ll be alright, Tobio…” This time, her voice is only a whisper. She wraps her arms loosely around Kageyama’s neck for support. “It’ll be okay.”
He hugs her tightly, not wanting to let go. “What if I can’t forget you?” He says into her hair, breathing now uneven.
There’s no response. And Kageyama feels the shudder run up his spine, the silence too deafening—it hurts.
“Y/N…”
As he speaks her name again, the volume of his voice drops.