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Koji🐵 Yesterday at 10:37pm
I'm going to Italy for culinary school. Maybe we should talk about it after school.
When Kaoru was a kid under a full bloomed cherry blossom tree, wind blowing most of his hair into his face, and with his best friend facing him, exchanging vows in their little marriage roleplay scene. Kaoru thought that Kojiro and him would never separate. Countless playdates and running around the playground led him to believe they’ll be by each other’s side forever. They were attached to the hip— and to this day they still are!
But as humans, we grow to change and evolve into the person we are now. We change to mature and realize that the world isn’t as simple as it was when you were young.
And Kaoru had changed. He liked to think he wasn’t that prim and proper child his parents tried to raise him as. No longer was he the boy with well-kept hair and a proper attire when he went to school in a high-class car. Piercings replaced his hair pins and his glasses weren’t needed as he wore contacts. What used to be four wheels of a car carrying him to school became four smaller wheels of a skateboard. He skated past his servant driver and the car and escaped so many times that his parents took the hint and stopped babying him. He rebelled against their expectations and chased for a single dream. The dream to skate infinitely beside the people that mattered.
So Kaoru was no longer the kid he used to be and was able to be more of himself now. Kaoru kept changing as time did but no matter how much he did, Kojiro still kept being on his side throughout every cycle of his life.
Kojiro pulled him up when he fell on the sandbox and held him when he cried that his bunny plush got dirty. He was the boy who followed him endlessly at school like a lost puppy. The kid who had the honor to spend lunch at the same table where Kaoru sat. He was there to pull Kaoru in a huge bear hug at every single graduation. He was there to welcome him to the Nanjo home when his parents didn’t approve of any new stunt he’d done. He was there to hold his hand when he got his first piercing. The teddy bear Kaoru hugged and cried when Adam left. The one who skated beside him as they were running late for classes. The one person who Kaoru wanted to skate infinitely together.
In the most beautiful and ugliest parts of Kaoru’s life, Kojiro was there with smiles and comforting words or touches. He was his one and only constant.
That’s why the only change he was scared of is a change in their relationship.
Kaoru remembered cherry blossom petals and strong, annoying wind. Remembered looking at chubby tanned skin, green fluffy hair, and a proud toothy smile despite the lack of one front tooth. He remembered the vows they had exchanged as dumb but happy kids.
“I will be your best friend and husband forever!”
Kaoru was now 18, anxious, confused, and storming into their usual meeting spot after school.
How could that monkey drop something so big in the middle of the night? He wondered at first if Kojiro was playing a prank on him but the more he thought about it the more it wouldn’t make sense. The Italian dishes he’d been making out of practice and fed Kaoru with wasn’t all for nothing after all. But why couldn’t he be there when Kojiro made the decision? Why didn’t he tell him sooner? If Kaoru had known sooner, he would’ve made it the best last few weeks of his life, albeit avoiding the hurt he had been carrying all to himself. But no! That idiot just had to wait for the last day of school. After he had basically been avoiding him for weeks too—
He slowed down on his tracks, thinking.
He didn’t want to call it ‘avoiding’ but he could only deny for so long. Were they signs? Kojiro’s replies to their messages were more straightforward than usual, Kaoru thought he was just tired of finals. The bickering didn’t feel the same and Kaoru shrugged it off as puberty or something. They had been walking home without each other lately and maybe that should’ve snapped him out of denial because they had always walked home together since kindergarten. Were all of these signals from Kojiro? Could Kojiro be saying this now to end everything? Kaoru was reminded by something his parents told him ages ago. That not every friendship lasts forever. At the time he just scoffed and slammed the door of his room but now thinking back to it, it echoed through his anxiety-filled mind. It’s not impossible for Kojiro to get tired of Kaoru and decide that he probably needed better friends. Friends that weren’t needy and clingy like him. Friends that’d give him just as much kindness as he gave to others. It’s what he deserved after all. A better best friend…
Had Kaoru been demoted from best friend of the entire world to just a friend he hangs out with, without even noticing? How long? After all they’d been through, had he finally gotten bored?
Kaoru hadn’t noticed his breathing had started stuttering, that his steps had started to wobble, that his skin was sweating. What Kaoru did notice though, was Kojiro on their usual meet up spot. But he wasn’t alone.
There he was but a bit further to a wall, pinning a girl as he kissed her deeply. Kaoru wanted to look away. He really did, to respect their privacy but he really couldn’t. He was here to confirm things with Kojiro and talk. But it was one thing to know that Kojiro was flirting around with multiple people and it was another thing to see it for himself, looking at the love of his life while he passionately made out with someone else.
He only slightly wondered if he had a chance to even catch his attention when they pulled away from each other but then he was being called by his other classmates. Kojiro gave the girl one last peck, whispered something to her that made her giggle, before rushing over to the group of boys.
Ah
Right
Kojiro didn’t need to find another person to replace Kaoru, he already had a lot on his disposal. If he were even in Kojiro’s mind then he wouldn’t have forgotten about the meet up he set up. But it seems like Kaoru was just in this illusion when in reality he was just a line without a hook. As if he was just a mere passing thought in Kojiro’s head.
He made a decision right then and there for himself and turned away to walk home by himself for the ninth time that month.
Kaoru did not notice the tears that ran down his cheeks.
—
Kojiro fucked up.
He had forgotten to meet with Kaoru that day and had been texting him multiple messages ever since and he did not get a single response.
Shit.
To say that he was guilty was an understatement beyond understanding. But he would make things right again. He just needed to talk to Kaoru to clear up any misunderstandings.
Today was graduation day and he had not seen a single sign of pink hair or a glint of light from piercings. So Kojiro waited. Kaoru had always been a guy who preferred to be fashionably late, given the numerous times they were nearly expelled by how much they sped through the hallways to get to class on time only to realize they had already missed half of the discussion of their first period. So yeah, that could be it, right? Kojiro sat on the bench near the entrance in his kimono and hakama. He wondered what traditional wear Kaoru had on for graduation or if he even wore one at all. He smiled at the thought of rebellious teenage punk, Sakurayashiki Kaoru, in traditional clothes with a grumpy look as he complained to Kojiro about it for the rest of the ceremony. And he’d insult him on how he looked ridiculous while he carved the image to his memory because Kojiro knows that Kaoru would look breathtaking, like in any style he’d be in, and he’d be taking those thoughts to his grave.
Kojiro waited until he was called by a classmate for them to gather. The ceremony was starting and still no Kaoru. He got up and hesitated before joining on with the rest of his batch. Kaoru must’ve been running extra late. Yeah, that was it. And he’d wait for him.
Because Nanjo Kojiro would always wait for Kaoru.
Cheers erupted as people started talking, crying, taking pictures and going to afterparties. The popular green haired teen was pulled into a lot of selfies as he tried to give his best smile. Some shots showed that his eyes had wandered about to somewhere that wasn’t the camera and he would have explained if he wasn’t in a rush to move on to continue looking for his pink half. He had to decline a lot of invitations as well since he was still miserably waiting.
Where are you, Kaoru?
Kojiro had gone back and forth to places Kaoru could’ve been in school. His locker, their meet-up spot, the stairs, the cherry blossom trees at the school garden, and still saw no sign of flowing pink hair. Had he missed him somehow? Did he go through the other gate, got lost in the crowd, and left before Kojiro could even get a glimpse?
That’s when an idea struck him. Hopefully he’d find his best friend there.
God he hoped that he didn’t screw up their friendship for good.
The air was just a tad windy when he arrived beside the drive-thru. Sun was setting, turning the sky into colorful splashes of pink, orange and yellow. The sea mirrored its colors, blending it with some blues. Kojiro would’ve sighed and stopped to enjoy the view like he always would but he was looking for someone.
It didn’t take long to see if that someone was there since the drive-thru wasn’t that big of a place. And to his disappointment, there was no one other than himself.
He wanted to pull at his green locks, to feel the pain as it tugged his scalp, if only it would let him ignore the sting on his confused heart. He wanted to scream onto the view and ask the world where the hell would his best friend be as if the universe would answer him back. He wanted to finally let out the tears he had been suppressing from the feeling that he had lost the best person who came into his life.
But he still clung into that glimmer of hope that it wasn’t over. Because it just couldn’t be.
So he drives to the last place he’d think his best friend would be, the Sakurayashiki household.
Letting out a shaky breath as he raised his hand to knock, he contemplated on what he would even say when he eventually talked to Kaoru. He wondered if he should just climb up the tree and go through the window to Kaoru’s room instead. But he was still wearing the kimono and hakama and it would definitely be troublesome to climb a a tree with that.
And he didn’t know what he’d do if the sight that greeted before him was an empty bedroom.
So Kojiro shook his head and knocked a few times, bracing himself.
The person who answered the door wasn’t who he’d been expecting– but it was better than nothing. Heavens knew what would have happened if one of Kaoru’s parents answered instead. Must be busy at work as always. One of the maids opened the door and looked surprised to see Kojiro like he wasn’t a familiar face at the abode of the Sakurayashiki’s.
“Oh! Hello, dear.” She gave him a smile which didn’t help her look less confused. “Did you forget something here perhaps?”
Kojiro shook his head and returned the smile. “No. I’m here to see Kaoru. Is he at home?” Please say yes.
Her lips curled downwards just as his heart sank. “Kojiro, dear.. Had he not told you?” Said man gulped and tried to reach for that tinge of hope that’s rapidly slipping away.
“Told me what?” Sweat trickled down his forehead.
"Kaoru has already left Okinawa for his calligraphy mentorship."
Kojiro stormed into his home, making his family confused. What they expected was to see Kojiro having the biggest smile with Kaoru not too far behind, maybe even having his arm draped over his shoulder as they were finally free from the hell called high school. But there was no happy smile, no cheery face, no one beside him. No Kaoru.
His mother gave him a concerned look as he strode past her. No one could even open their mouths before he was gone.
He slammed the bedroom door, something he had never done, and sat against it. He pulled at his hair and finally let the dam of tears roll. Kojiro knew he fucked up but was it really that bad that he had deserved to be left in the dust like that? Without any sort of warning? But maybe he was a hypocrite for saying that as he was the one to surprise Kaoru with the sudden news of Italy.
He moved to his bed so he could hug and scream into his pillow. It probably looked childish, he knew. But that was the least of his worries because when the person you’ve spent your whole life with suddenly ditched you like you were nothing, it felt a lot like nothing mattered at the moment. It felt like nothing mattered.
His mother would knock and check on him later but for now he’d sulk for the next few weeks or so. He glanced at his phone and thought that maybe if he spammed Kaoru enough, he’d replied. He frowned even more at the thought since Kaoru had his number blocked already. It only made sense after all. Kojiro wondered if there’s any chance he could get his best friend back at all. He fishes for his supposed-to-be gift for Kaoru inside his pockets.
Was this really the end of it all? Years of staying beside each other gone just like that?
He was sad, angry, frustrated, and every other negative emotion he could think of in his mind that’s falling apart as he looked at the two tickets he was saving as a surprise for his other half.
And Kojiro felt so utterly wrecked because he was still willing to wait.