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The birds have long since stopped their singing before you take your eyes off the book in front of you. It’s late, barely past midnight, but you insist on reading just a bit more, sitting on your desk with a faint light illuminating the room.
You’re stretching your arms above your head when you hear the creek of the door opening.
“Hm?” You turn to the sound, your heart picking up the pace as you watch the door fling open.
You release a sigh when you recognize her, Maki making her way inside your room like she owns the place. She does have a habit of barging in unannounced, but it still takes you by surprise every time.
Why can’t she ever send you a text? Hey babe, I’m coming over . That simple, and it’d save you a heart attack.
“Hello to you too, baby.” You say, slipping out of your chair and walking up to her.
“Hi.” She replies back. You frown.
You instantly notice something’s not right by the way she doesn’t return your stare. Usually, she barges in and starts telling you about this or that fight, her training sessions, or her dishing out about Mai for some reason. She’s suspiciously quiet and there are small cuts and bruises on her face and arms. She must’ve come here straight from a mission. That’s not usual either.
“Hey,” you reach for her and palm her cheek, carefully brushing your thumb right below a bruise. That one’s gonna sting in the morning. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah,” she says, her voice low and husky. “This is nothing for me, I’ve had way worse.”
“I know.” And you really do, you’ve had to patch her up more often than not. Despite not being part of the sorcerer world yourself, you’re hardly a bystander. Maki has always trusted you with the intricacies of the twisted sorcerer society, and most importantly, has trusted you to take care of her in a way she doesn’t anyone else. “You usually love a good shower at your place after a mission. Why did you come here, instead?”
Maki’s voice doesn’t falter.
“I wanted to see you.” She looks down at you, her fingers holding your wrist, your hand still palming her cheek.
Growing up without affection made it harder for her to understand her own emotions, to put a name to them, and especially to voice them out loud. So, she doesn’t.
Most of her life, Maki hasn’t troubled herself with emotional talk, with displays of affection, with giving and receiving reassurance, because it’s not something she had learned how to do.
But ever since you’re in her life, something has shifted in Maki. She’s still stone cold as ever, but now she has you .
You, who can read between her lines. You, who are kind enough to pay attention to her subtleties and her body language. You, who slowly opened up her walls and showed her that loving someone, that trusting someone isn’t supposed to be scary, but comforting.
So when she says I wanted to see you , her green eyes briefly closing to your touch, you understand .
“Come here.”
You grab her hand and guide her to your bed, Maki following swiftly after.
When she plops on the bed next to you, you reach out, gently taking off her glasses.
“What are you doing?” She raises an eyebrow.
“No more curses for tonight.” You draw a smile, leaving the glasses on the bedside table. “I want your eyes on me only, okay?”
“Don’t be an idiot. There’s nobody else here for me to look at, is there?”
Maki huffs, but when you lie on the bed, she lies next to you, her head on your pillow, inches away from you.
“No, you’re right.” You scoot closer to her, slowly pressing your lips to hers, slightly chapped on yours. Maki’s eyes slightly wideen at the contact. “It’s just you and me here.” You kiss the edge of her lips and slowly trail upwards, pressing soft kisses to her cheek, her cheekbone, the corner of her eye, then her temple. Maki stays still, her eyes fluttering closed to your touch. “So you can relax. It’s only me with you, after all.”
“Don’t be annoying and maybe I will.” Maki lets out an irritated sigh, her hands holding either side of your shirt.
You scoot closer still, pressing your front to Maki’s, and she’s quick to wrap her arms around your middle, burying her face in the crook of your neck. She exhales slowly, like she’s been carrying a heavy weight in her chest the whole day until now.
“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?” You can’t help but giggle, dragging your hand to rub circles on her back. “If you wanted some cuddles, you could’ve just asked, you know? Coming here in the middle of the night with such a scary look on your face—“
“Shut up, or I’ll kick your ass.” Maki grumbles. Her voice comes out muffled by your skin.
“Do Inumaki, Panda and the others know? It would be fun to tell them how the fierce and scary Maki Zen’in is actually the small spoon.”
You chuckle at the thought, and Maki grumbles again, lifting herself up so she’s hovering over you, her green eyes narrowed and dangerous.
“I’m serious. I will beat your ass if you even think to—“
You reach up, pressing an innocent kiss to her mouth. Maki blinks down at you, the words dying on her throat and her cascading hair tickling your nose. You draw a smile.
“You’re beautiful, Maki Zen’in.”
Maki’s cheeks bloom with crimson colors and she opens her mouth, then closes it, pressing her lips into a thin line, brow furrowed.
She carelessly plops herself on you, quickly wrapping her arms around your waist again.
“ Ouch! ” You wince when her body hits you, but you can’t move since she’s holding you in her strong arms.
“Serves you right.” She says, her cheek pressed to your collarbone.
You chuckle, knowing full well the consequences of teasing the Maki Zen’in.
You reach up with your hand and caress her hair tentatively. Maki breathes in deeply and lets out a long sigh, her body relaxing on top of you. You can feel her chest rise and fall against yours, her heartbeat steady against your skin, and you take it as a sign to lose your fingers in her hair.
There’s a pause before you hear Maki’s voice again, all too close to the shell of your ear.
“I didn’t have the best day today, and all I wanted after the mission was to go home,” her voice sounds low, full of a careful tucked-in emotion you’ve learned to recognize, “but I have no idea where home even is anymore.” There’s a second of silence, and you hear Maki swallowing, the words tiptoeing on the verge of her lips, until finally— “The only place that I could think of was you.”
Maki nuzzles closer to you still, her forehead pressed to your throat, and you scratch her scalp with your nails earning an appreciative growl.
“Do you want to talk about it?” You hesitantly ask, your voice barely a whisper. “About the mission?”
You have a feeling that something happened while she was away. After all, it’s not an usual thing for Maki to come to you demanding affection like this, far from it. Something must’ve shaken her.
Maki tightens her grip on you just a bit, her arms on either side of your waist.
“There’s nothing to talk about, really. There was a curse and we exorcised it. End of story.”
You frown. “You know I like you, but I don’t like it when you’re dishonest.”
“ Fine .” Maki exhales against your skin. “The curse casted me aside and stupid Yuuta had to save me. He, of all people!”
“What’s wrong with that?” You chuckle at Maki’s frustration. “Yuuta is a good friend of yours. Besides, aren’t you all a team? What’s wrong with helping each other out?”
“Nothing, I guess.” Maki reluctantly says. “It’s just— Ugh , it’s stupid.”
You take a moment to gently push some locks of hair behind her ear, drag the back of your fingers over her temple, her cheekbone, the shell of her ear. Maki seems to relax under your touch.
“Come on.” You insist softly.
“I trained him, you know?” She eventually mumbles. “I was the one who showed him how to use cursed weapons. And now—“
And now he’s the one rescuing me, Maki doesn’t say, doesn’t let the words come out, because that would feel like defeat. He’s stronger than me now.
But she doesn’t have to voice this, you immediately understand.
Having grown up without cursed energy, casted aside by her own family for being unable to see curses, the bare minimum for any sorcerer, Maki has always relied on her strength. More than relying on it, Maki has nourished it. She has worked tirelessly day after day to harbor all the strength her body can provide her, all to not be left behind.
The thing that Maki despises and, consequently, fears the most, is being left behind by those who are around her.
You understand with perfect clarity how she must’ve felt when Yuuta saved her. The boy who came the first day shaking like a leaf now stands tall and proud, strong enough to protect his friends. To protect Maki.
And she despises the feeling of not being strong enough to even protect herself.
You ponder for a second, your fingers still lost in Maki’s hair.
“Do you remember the day we met?” You quietly ask her.
Maki’s quiet for a moment. “ No . You’ve always kind of… been there.”
“That’s true.” You chuckle at her forgetfulness. “Well, I do remember. It was summer, and my dad had given me money to get ice cream, but then one of the kids at the playground stole it from me, and—“
“And I beat his ass. Right there in front of everyone.” Maki nods, you can hear the smile in her voice. “That little bastard.”
“I didn't see you coming, I didn’t even know you before that.” You say, eyes closed, the image of 6 years old Maki rushing to help you drawn in your memory. “I remember thinking, She’s so strong and she came out of nowhere to help me. She must be a superhero! ”
“We were dumb kids.” Maki says, her forehead pressed to the side of your neck. “We had no idea how our lives would turn out to be.”
“ True , but—” You play with her hair, letting the soft locks slip and fall from your fingers. “I still believe that.”
“Because you’re an idiot.”
“No, because I love you. Don’t be mean when I’m trying to compliment you!” You scoot away from her, detangling her arms from your waist, and Maki scowls at the sudden lack of warmth.
Instead of arguing against you, Maki reaches up, cupping your face in her bigger hands. You flush at the contact.
“I’m sorry, okay?” She sounds annoyed but her body betrays her, slowly brushing your cheek with her thumb. “Go on with your mushy talk, I’ll listen.”
For a girl who fights like a stone, Maki Zen’in touches like the sun. She holds you with the knowledge that gentleness is a rarity, that it is a language foreign to her, clumsy and unpracticed, but still so warm and intimate.
You swallow, parting your lips as Maki’s green eyes rest on yours, softening around their edges.
“I admire you, Maki. And maybe I’m biased because you’re the person I feel for the most in my life, but I truly admire everything about you— Your passion , your determination.” Your voice is a waterfall of honesty, and Maki collects every drop with the pad of her thumbs. “You’re strong in ways that people can’t see, too. But I see it. I see you , always.”
Maki’s green eyes fill with tears, and you press a kiss to her wrist, her hands still holding your face.
“You’re such an idiot .” She whispers, her fingers trembling against your skin.
You draw an easy smile. “And you’re beautiful.”
“I’m not going to be for much longer if you keep making me emotional.”
You shake your head, holding Maki’s hand above your cheek, brushing the harsh skin on her knuckles.
“You’re still beautiful when you’re not smiling, Maki.”
She leans closer, pressing her forehead against yours a little too forcefully. Her green eyes flutter closed to your touch.
“I love you too.” She says, a little too late, but the affirmation draws stars in the vault of your chest all the same. “I think I love you more than I planned to.”
“Is that a bad thing?” You ask.
“Not at all.” You can hear the smile in her voice, soaked with an affection far too deep for her to comprehend at the time. “It’s the best thing I could’ve asked for.”
Holding Maki in your arms like this, you understand— How some things can be both strong and delicate at the same time.