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Jimmy and Lister have never been out on a proper date. How could they? Any time they go out, they get bombarded by fans, get questioned by paparazzi, no matter how hard they try to conceal their identities. Even still, from time to time, Lister will suggest something.
“We can wear sunglasses,” he’ll say.
“We can put our hoods up,” he’ll say.
He even proposes that the two of them wear wigs and call in their makeup team. Jimmy turns all the ideas down. He remembers that night in the rain all too well. The darkness, the clouds, nothing stopped him from being found out. He doesn’t want his first actual date with Lister to be tainted like that. He wants them to do it when the time is right, when they have a solid plan. Besides, it’s not like they’ve never done anything romantic.
Their first date was on their balcony. Lister was in this gardening phase, so there were flowers everywhere. They sat on a picnic blanket and ate the sandwiches that they’d made for the occasion. The two talked for hours on end, watching as the sun set over the city. At one point, Lister picked a flower and placed it in Jimmy’s hair. Jimmy called it cheesy, but he can still feel how fast his heart was beating in that moment, like it was trying to break out of his chest and reach out to Lister on its own.
Jimmy mimicked him, putting a different flower in Lister’s hair. “There,” he’d said. “Now we match.”
More stuff followed after that. There were movie nights and baking days and more Wii Sports sessions than Jimmy would like to admit, but they’re enough for him. He doesn’t need fancy restaurants or going to the theatre or having a picnic in an actual park for him to enjoy Lister’s company.
Lister feels the same way, but he still wants to take Jimmy out, to give him the romance he deserves, no matter how many times Jimmy says he’s okay with it never happening. And so he plans. He brainstorms and fleshes out ideas and plans, so that he can take Jimmy out without either of them having to worry. They love their fans, really they do, but sometimes they can be a bit much. Sometimes, it has nothing to do with them as much as it has to do with the fact that Lister and Jimmy just want to be alone, just want to go on a date uninterrupted, without them getting asked for a picture or ending up in a gossip column.
After a couple of weeks, Lister finally nails it, the perfect plan.
“The botanical gardens?” Jimmy says after Lister talks to him.
“I got Cecily to rent it out. We’ll need security until we get there, but after that we can be alone. Isn’t that great?”
Jimmy makes a face. “I don’t know…”
“C’mon. The employees won’t even be there. No one will see us. No one will bother us. Plus, they have this enclosed meadow kind of thing where we can sit and have a proper picnic, you know? We don’t have to sit out on the balcony.”
“You don’t like our balcony picnics?” Jimmy asks, eyebrows furrowed.
Lister starts to sputter. “No, I mean, of course I do. Of course, I like them. I mean—”
Jimmy cuts him off with a laugh. “Relax. I’m kidding,” he says. “I think… I think this could work.”
“Really?”
Jimmy leans up and gives Lister a short kiss. “Let’s give it a shot. What’s the worst that can happen?”
As it turns out, the worst that can happen is them getting there only to find out that all of the sprinklers are automated. Everything went so smoothly up until that point as well. They left their apartment after telling Rowan they’d be back in time for movie night. No one spotted them getting into the car. No one spotted them getting out. They got inside and everything was fine until—
Fshhh.
Everything ahead of them got soaked.
And now Jimmy and Lister are standing there, not sure what to do since Cecily paid the employees to take a couple of hours off.
Jimmy takes hold of Lister’s hand. “It’s okay. Really, it’s okay. It’s still really nice to look at, even if we can’t go in any further.”
Lister lets out a sigh from deep within his chest. “But this was supposed to be perfect,” he whines.
Jimmy laughs ever so slightly. “This is kind of our brand though, isn’t it? It’s not so bad. Plus…”
Lister waits for a moment before prompting him to continue. “Plus?”
Jimmy shakes his head. “Nevermind.”
“Come on. What were you gonna say?”
“You’re gonna laugh at me,” Jimmy says, folding his arms across his chest, making himself smaller.
“I won’t,” Lister says. “Pinky promise.” He holds out his pinky.
Hesitantly, Jimmy reaches out and wraps his own around it. He takes in a deep breath and groans like this isn’t a big deal. Lister’s seen him do this before, when he wants to say something serious, when he wants to say something sappy. But Lister gets it. He always makes a joke out of everything, even when he means it.
Especially when he means it.
Out of the two methods, Lister thinks Jimmy’s is the better one. He wishes he could be serious in the way that Jimmy is, even if the other boy thinks he’s being casual about it.
They’re still holding pinkies, and Jimmy is still looking up at Lister with eyes that make him fall even more impossibly in love every day. They’ve never said the L word to each other, at least not in a romantic context, but Lister’s pretty sure that Jimmy knows. He’s not exactly trying to hide it now that they’re together.
Lister nudges Jimmy to continue one more time.
“Fine,” Jimmy says, then sighs. “Fine. I was going to say… Maybe this isn’t the perfect day you envisioned, but…”
“But?”
Jimmy lets out another, sharper sigh. “But it’s perfect because you’re here, okay? That’s what I was gonna say.”
Lister can’t help but smile. He can’t help the breathy laugh that comes out.
“You said you wouldn’t laugh!”
“No, I’m not laughing at you. I promise. It’s just… really, really cute.”
Jimmy lets go of Lister’s pinky. “You’re mocking me.”
“I’m not,” Lister swears. He takes up Jimmy’s hand again, kissing the back of it. “I mean it. I think it’s cute, and…”
“And?”
Lister bites his lip. “And I was kind of thinking the same thing, even if I wish this went better.”
Jimmy softens a bit, his smile growing slightly. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Jimmy nods. It’s quiet for a moment before he speaks again. “You look like you have something else to say,” he says, voice quiet.
“Do I?” Does he? All Lister’s been thinking about the past few seconds is, I love you. I love you. I love you. It’s a mantra. A second heartbeat settling beside his own.
Jimmy nods again.
Lister watches him for a moment. He takes a deep breath. “I—” he begins, but stops when suddenly, the sprinklers turn off all at once. Have they really been standing there for that long?
Jimmy and Lister look at each other and, without another thought, take off running, racing through the gardens, splashing in the puddles that formed on the floor. Every so often, they stop to catch their breath, to look at the flowers, to make out wherever they want because who cares .
The conversation is only remembered when they’ve thoroughly exhausted themselves and decide to make their way to the enclosed meadow. Lister swings the bag with their lunch in one hand, and holds Jimmy’s hand with the other. Jimmy’s been quiet for the past couple of minutes. Not quiet in a way that means he has nothing to say, but quiet in a way that means he’s thinking about something.
“So,” Jimmy starts once they get closer to the doors that lead outside. “You were saying something before, before the sprinklers turned off.”
Lister inhales. “Yeah.”
“Right… Are you gonna tell me what it is?”
They’re silent for a moment.
“No.”
“You made me tell you my thing,” Jimmy counters.
“I didn’t make you.”
“You definitely did.”
When Lister looks over at Jimmy, there’s a small, teasing smile on his face. The heartbeat starts up again. I love you. I love you. I love you.
But when he thinks about saying it out loud, the only way he can phrase it is with a joke. And he doesn’t want that. Jimmy doesn’t deserve that. He deserves something real. Something genuine.
So, Lister will wait.
He’ll wait and learn and grow until he can give that to Jimmy.
Until he can do it right.
They walk out the doors and out into the fresh air. The meadow is gorgeous, filled with natural wild flowers that Lister will definitely make daisy chains out of later. They’ll eat and laugh and kiss. They’ll end up lying on the ground, flowers in their hair, looking up at the clouds as they pass by. They’ll make meaning out of the shapes they form. They’ll make a romance out of their lives. And it’ll be good. It’ll be so good.
And maybe later, much later, Lister can bring him here again. Or somewhere else that’s just as special. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll say those three little words that rest near his heart, always.
“I’ll tell you,” Lister says. “One day.”
Jimmy nods at that. “Okay,” he says, then points at a spot of shade a little ways away from them. “Race you!”
And so, they run across the field as the summer sun watches over them.