Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

The first time they meet was when they were five.

Oikawa had lived in his little house in the suburbs ever since he could remember and the old couple next-door had been there for even longer. He loved going over to play because they loved him to death and Oikawa was always able to convince them to shower him with sweets. Oikawa’s mother said that he was abusing their kindness but allowed her son to go over anyways.

You’ll grow out of it, she reasoned to him one day. You’ll learn to ask for what you want outright.

Oikawa didn’t understand what his mother meant by that and continued to happily munch his cookie.

However, the old couple was going away, leaving a very small and very upset Oikawa behind. He had fumed for weeks when he had found out. He complained to his mother, to his father, to his teacher, to his friends, to the old couple. He even went out of his way to complain to a random stranger on the street!

You won’t believe it, he told everyone. It’s the worstest thing that has happened in my life! The old couple next-door, the ones who live in the blue house with the big, old tree that has a tire, the ones that I love most in the world, they’re leaving! They’re going away! What am I gonna do now? Who will play with me? Who will love me like they did?

He whined and whined and whined. His friends humored him and did their best to comfort him. They would bring him candy and chocolates and all kinds of goodies in hopes that Oikawa would feel better.

Oikawa-kun! They would say as they thrust their presents into his hands. For you! Please, don’t be sad anymore.

Oikawa took these gifts and stuffed them in his face. He loved the food and loved the attention even more, but nothing was able to fill the hole in his heart.

Mama, why can’t I go with them? Oikawa asked during dinner the day before the old couple was due to move out.

Because you belong here, answered his mother curtly. They're going back to the old farm where they grew up. Surely they’ll be happier there. Besides, I’ve meet the new family and they're very nice. They even have a kid around your age!

But I don’t want that! exclaimed Tooru angrily. I want the Yamadas back!

Aiko, please shut our child up, had grumbled Tooru’s father.

Tooru, just be happy that someone your age is coming, had said his sister.

Please be happy for the Yamadas, his mother had pleaded. 

And Oikawa did try, he really did. But he cried and wailed as he watched the Yamadas pile into a taxicab with a few of their belongings and drive away. Oikawa’s mother had picked him up and he had sobbed into her shoulder.

Will I ever see them again? sniffled Oikawa.

Probably not, said his mother.

He cried for another couple of hours.

Now here he sat in his backyard, two weeks after the traumatic event, staring at the white picket fence that separated the two houses. Oikawa knew that the new family had moved in two days after the old couple had left. He had seen the big truck and the family that had piled out. His mother hadn’t been lying when she told him that they had a kid his age, but Oikawa had been so far away he couldn’t tell if they were a boy or a girl. Not that it mattered either way since he didn't want to meet his new neighbors anyways. When the newcomers had visited the Oikawas to make polite conversation he had locked himself up in room and refused to go downstairs, stating that he already hated them.

His mother had lectured him afterwards.

Oikawa hadn’t cared.

He really hadn’t.

But, sitting here in the blistering sun and staring at the fence, Oikawa couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. It really wasn’t the new family’s fault that the old couple had left. He had no right to be mean to them. It was probably too late to say that he was sorry, though. 

He sighed and picked up the volleyball he had brought outside with him. He started to bump to himself, concentrating on controlling the ball. Unfortunately, his small five-year-old limbs were not coordinated enough and he constantly kept messing up.

“Stupid!” he yelled, fed up with his failure. He slammed the ball down in his frustration and it ricocheted off the ground. It flew higher, higher, and higher until it blocked the sun and came spiraling back down. Down, down, down to the backyard next door.

Oikawa’s stomach dropped.

Someone yelped on the other side of the fence. 

Oikawa winced and ran towards the sound.

 “I’m sorry!” he wailed. He grabbed an old bucket that was lying around and used it as a step stool to peer over the fence. He pressed his palms together as though he were praying and bowed. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry! I’ll pay for the hospital bills, I swear! Once I get the money I’ll do it!”

“Hospital? The hell?”

Oikawa gasped and his eyes flew open in horror. Below him stood a child his age, rubbing their head with one hand and the other holding the volleyball. They had a fitted cap over their head and wore ragged and dirty clothes.

“Hell is a bad word,” whispered Oikawa. “Mama told me not to say such things.”

The other kids rolled their eyes. “So did mine, but I do it anyways.” They stopped rubbing their head and extended the volleyball towards Oikawa. “This yours?”

“Yeah!” replied Oikawa, making needy grabbing motions. “Thank you!” The kid snorted and quickly drew the ball away. “Hey!” exclaimed Oikawa angrily. “That’s not nice! Give it back!”

“You’re annoying,” said the kid, throwing the volleyball up and down. “And rude too. Your parents told us that you didn't want to meet us because you were angry at us. And now two weeks later you hit me in the head with this.” They held the volleyball up. Oikawa made a lunge for it and nearly toppled over. The kids snickered as Oikawa fumed.

"It was a mistake," Oikawa said angrily.

The kid stuck their tongue out at Oikawa before continuing. “I’m going to keep this ball as a peace offering.”

“What?! No! Give it back!” Oikawa yelled, standing on his tip-toes and waving his hand around in hopes of getting the ball.

No such luck and the kid sneered at him. “It’s your own fault. You did this all to yourself.”

“Nuh-uh,” said Oikawa, still struggling to reach the ball. The kid laughed. “Stop that! Give it back! I’m going to tell my mama!”

“Watcha gonna tell her?” they jeered. “That I’m holding your toy hostage?”

Oikawa stared at them dumbly. Never before in his life had he ever had to deal with someone of this caliber.

“I-uh-bluh,” he sputtered.

The kid sighed and put down the ball. “Tell you what, I’ll give it back if you help me collect bugs.”

“Bugs?” said Oikawa, scrunching up his nose. “No way! They're so gross!”

“What are you, a sissy?” egged the kid.

Oh, they’re good, Oikawa thought. “No!” He let out a loud and long groan before relenting. “Fine! I’ll go collect bugs with you.”

“I have another net. You can come over if you want, I don’t care. My parents aren’t home.”

Oikawa cocked his head to the side. “You’re parents left you alone?”

“Yeah,” replied the other kid.

“I wish mine did that,” Oikawa grumbled.

“It’s not that fun, trust me. Anyways, get over here. I’ll open the door for you.” Oikawa nodded and hopped off the bucket. He scrambled next door, something he hadn’t done in a while, and waited breathless for the door to open.

It did open and out emerged the kid. They looked even dirtier up close, which Oikawa found fascinating. In their hand they held two nets. They handed one to Oikawa and he graciously accepted it. The kid stuck out their hand and Oikawa regarded it curiously. “Iwaizumi. My name is Iwaizumi Hajime.”

It was hard to tell if they were a boy or girl but they looked much more like a boy with their bruised knees and hard glare. Plus they didn’t indicate their gender so Oikawa decided that the child before him was a boy. Hajime was a male name, anways.

“Oikawa Tooru,” said Oikawa brightly, shaking Iwaizumi’s hand.

“Come on in,” said Iwaizumi, beckoning Oikawa in inside. Oikawa did so happily. Iwaizumi lead him through the familiar hallway, now made unfamiliar by the Iwaizumis. The house smelled different too. No longer did it have the aroma of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies, but the new scent did not offended Oikawa’s nose. He could get used to it.

The two kids burst into the backyard and Iwaizumi hurriedly dragged Oikawa towards the back. “See that,” he said, pointing to a jar that was hidden by the bushes. “That’s where I’ve been putting them.” Iwaizumi dropped his net and extracted the jar from its hiding spot. He proudly showed it to Oikawa, raising it up as though it were a trophy.

And it probably was to Iwaizumi. However, Oikawa’s stomach flipped at the amount of creepy-crawlies in the jar. He was, however, impressed by how many Iwaizumi had managed to catch.

“That’s a lot. Do you really need more?” 

Iwaizumi nodded feverishly. “There are almost no bugs in the city. All we had were mosquitoes and flies.”

“The city?” asked Oikawa, perking up. “You’re from the city?”

“Yeah, what of it?”

“Which one? Which one?” asked Oikawa, bouncing up and down.

Iwaizumi scowled. “Tokyo. But it’s not that big of a deal. The city sucks. It’s too gray and loud. I like it here much better. More trees and space. Everything is so cramped over there.” Iwaizumi wrinkled his nose. “Yep, much better here.”

“If you say so,” said Oikawa, shrugging. “I would love to live in a city! Hey, maybe you can take me the next time you guys go there!”

Iwaizumi frowned. “Nah. I’m never going back there again! Believe me, it stinks. Now, c’mon and help me find some bugs.”

They each take a net and start to search for the pesky parasites. Oikawa had a lot more fun they he would like to admit, swinging the net around and chasing after bugs. Iwaizumi managed to snag a butterfly too. He held up to Oikawa, who stared at it in awe.

“I’m gonna keep it,” Iwaizumi declared.

Oikawa shook his head. “No! Don’t do that! Don;t you know that butterflies are the messengers of the gods? If we keep it that butterfly won’t be able to do its duty!”

“That’s stupid,” replied Iwaizumi, but lets it go later due to Oikawa’s whining.

“You’re annoying,” Iwaizumi said as he watched the butterfly fly away. “I don’t know if I’m gonna like being your neighbor. My parents prolly won’t like you much either.”

“That’s not true at all! Your parents will love me! All parents do!” He puffed his chest out proudly.

“What is that?” asked Iwaizumi, sniggering. “Are you trying to make yourself look cool and manly?”

Oikawa deflated, hurt and offended. “Iwa-chan!” he cried. “You’re so mean!”

He scowled at the nickname. “Iwa-chan? The hell is that? Don’t call me that!”

“Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa taunted, dancing around Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi bristled with anger and started to chase after Oikawa, who merely laughed and danced away.

“Get over here!” Iwaizumi roared, swatting at Oikawa with the net. Oikawa only howled harder and ran faster.

The two children soon got tired and laid down on the grass. It was late afternoon by then and the sun was no longer beating down mercilessly on the earth. Oikawa started to point out shapes in the cloud.

“Look, Iwa-chan! That one is an alien!”

“Don’t call me that! And that’s just a blob. Get over yourself,” grumbled Iwaizumi.

“Nuh-uh! Look closely! See? That’s the head, that’s the body, and that’s the laser gun!”

“What are you, four? It’s still just a blob.”

“Hmph. Iwa-chan has no creativity.”

Iwaizumi shot up. “I do too!” he exclaimed, glaring down at Oikawa. "And don't call me that! Or I'll come up with something for you too!"

Oikawa smirked. “Okay, whatever you say, Iwa-chan~”

“Trashykawa! Trashy, Trashy, Trashykawa!” Iwaizumi exploded.

Oikawa sat up too, eyes wide. “What did you just call me?” he asked, offended.

“Traaaassshhhykawa,” jeered Iwaizumi, snickering when Oikawa lunged for him and tackled him to the ground. “I’ll call you that and a bunch more if you keep calling me Iwa-chan!”

Oikawa’s face flushed. “I'm never gonna stop calling you ‘Iwa-chan’! So you better get used to it… Iwa-chan!”

The smile faded and was replaced with an intense scowl and burning eyes. “Shittykawa!”

Oikawa gasped and scooted away from Iwaizumi, as though he were toxic. “Language!”

“See what I mean?” Iwaizumi said. 

Oikawa gritted his teeth. He would not allow for Iwa-chan to see how uncomfortable he was with his own nicknames. “Fine!” he spat. “Do your worst!”

Iwa-chan opened his mouth to say more but the door flew open and out came Iwa-chan’s mother.

“Hajime,” she said, startled. “Is this…”

Oikawa got up and did his best to brush the dirt off his clothes. He strutted up to her and bowed. “I’m Oikawa Tooru!” he said. He gave her his best smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Iwaizumi-san!”

Iwaizumi’s mother placed a hand over her heart. “My, my, my! Hajime, look at how polite Oikawa-kun is! Why can’t you be more like?”

Oikawa turned around and flashed a devious grin to Iwa-chan, who was looking at him with barely contained rage. “He’s a total brat, I swear!” Iwa-chan wailed

“Now, now, Hajime, that is now way to speak to a guest,” chided his mother.

“But is he!” insisted Iwa-chan, standing up. “He only came over because he sent his volleyball over the fence!”

“But Oikawa-kun is here now. Say, do your parents know you’re here?” Oikawa shook his head. “Dear me, come along, children. I’m going to take Oikawa-kun home. You’re coming along too, Hajime. Don’t make that face, come on.”

Iwa-chan stomped his way to Oikawa’s house. There his mother fretted over the sorry state of his clothes and tried to make both him and Oikawa more presentable.

“We went looking for bugs!” chirped Oikawa when Iwaizumi-san had finished taking twigs out of his hair.

“Of course you did,” said Iwaizumi-san, glaring at Iwa-chan. Her child looked back at her blankly. “What games do you like to play, Oikawa-kun?”

“I really like videogames! And volleyball!”

“Look at that, Hajime, you like to play those these too.”

“Please don’t force me to play with him,” begged Iwa-chan. “I don’t wanna!”

“I can’t force you, but I’m sure that you two will get along much better later on.” She rang the doorbell and placed a hand on Iwa-chan’s shoulder. Iwa-chan looks as though he wanted to bite it but refrained from doing so. Oikawa’s father opened up the door and smiled when he saw who it was.

“Fuka-san! Hajime-chan!”

Hajime-chan? thinks Tooru.

“What a pleasure to see you! Tooru, what are you doing with them?”

“They had a little play-date,” said Iwaizumi-san. “I thought that it would be a good idea to bring Oikawa-kun back here.”

“Hm, it certainly was. My wife is almost done with dinner. Would you like to join us?”

“No thank you. I’m about to make dinner myself. Unless Hajime would like to stay here.”

“No thank you,” replied Iwa-chan, fidgeting.

Oikawa’s father smiled. “Did you two have fun?” Oikawa nodded enthusiastically and Iwa-chan looked away.

“It was okay,” Iwa-chan sniffed.

Oikawa’s father laughed. “Fuka-san, it’s almost as though you are raising a son!”

Iwazumi-san sighed. “It feels like that sometimes.”

Like a son? What did they mean, like a son? Wasn’t Iwaizumi a boy? Surely, surely this sour-faced kid wasn’t a girl. There was no way-

“You’re a girl?” asked Oikawa.

Iwa-chan blinked. “Yeah. You-you didn’t know?”

The three look at Oikawa in silence. Oikawa’s father and Iwaizumi-san look mildly embarrassed but Iwa-chan’s sharp gaze was unusually blank.

“I-I thought that you were a boy,” he admitted quietly. Now that he looks at her, he could see her more feminine qualities. Her frame was too slim to be male’s, her eyes a little too wide, lashes long and she had girl lips. But with that stupid cap on she looked much more like a guy.

Iwa-chan bursted out laughing. “See, mom?” she said, pointing at Oikawa and tugging her mother’s pants. “He thought I was a boy! I could totally try out for the boy’s team! They won’t suspect a thing!”

“They will, after they see the papers,” muttered her mother. “Let’s go, Hajime. It was nice meeting you Oikawa-kun. Nice seeing you again, Satoshi-san.”

“The same to you, Fuka-san.” Father and son waved to mother and daughter until they were out of sight. Oikawa’s father closed the door and looked down at Oikawa. “You really thought Hajime-chan was a boy?”

Oikawa flushed and scuffed the floor with his shoe. “She wanted to catch bugs and acted like one,” he said lamely.

Oikawa’s father laughed. “Well, I can’t blame you for that.”

“Dinner’s ready!” called Oikawa’s mother.

“Tell us about your day during dinner,” said his father.

“Okay!” agreed Oikawa.

And he did.

And he loved every second of it.

---

Oikawa did not know what to think about his strange new neighbor. Iwa-chan was much too boyish for Oikawa to consider her to be a girl and the more they hung out the more she started to use male pronouns. Her mother did not like that, said Iwa-chan, but she liked it so she was going to do it. Oikawa asked her if she wanted to be guy and she said, and he quotes:

Why would I want to be a yucky, smelly guy?

Now, Oikawa himself wasn’t anything like that but he had met some yucky, smelly guys and he could not help but agree that it was embarrassing to be grouped with those kinds of people. Yes, being a girl was much better.

He warmed up quickly to her, though, just like Iwaizumi-san had predicted. He just didn’t like to say it out loud. And he especially wouldn’t say it to her face.

“Iwa-chan,” he said one lazy summer day. The sun was beating down on the world and the two of them were under the old tree in Iwa-chan’s front yard. Iwa-chan sat in the shade while Oikawa swung on the tire. Iwa-chan had her nose buried in a book, much to Oikawa’s disdain. She never paid him any attention when she was reading.

“Iwa-chan,” he called again.

“Yeah?” she replied.

“When are you going back to school?”

Iwa-chan frowned and looked up at Oikawa. “School?” she asked.

“School,” said Oikawa, kicking his feet out and swinging higher. “I’m going back tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” asked Iwa-chan. “I’m going to school in three days.”

“Three days? Unfair! I want three more days!” complained Oikawa. “I want to spend more time with you!” Oikawa would never admit it to anyone else but he and Iwa-chan had become close friends in the past two weeks. Oikawa showed Iwa-chan the best places in the neighborhood, little niches in her new house, and that stepping on cracks on the sidewalk was bad luck. Iwa-chan told him about the city, taught him the best places to find bugs, and how to tell someone’s fortune by looking at their palm.

Sure, she was occasionally mean to him, but her insults held no bite. Such as now, for example.

Iwa-chan scowled. “What makes you think that I want to spend more time with you, trashykawa?”

Oikawa whined loudly. “Meeanniieee…”

“You do it to yourself,” she quipped quietly and returned to her book. “How are the kids at your school?” she asked, trying to be casual about it. It might have fooled someone else but Oikawa noted that she was biting her lip too hard for it to be a flippant comment.

“They’re great!” he said, kicking his feet and propelling the tire even higher. (“Don’t break it!”   “Don’t worry, Iwa-chan! I won’t!”) “All the kids in the area are. You won’t have any trouble fitting in.”

“Stupid, that’s not at all for what was I was going for!” But her lips are quirked in a smile and she visibly relaxed against the tree.

Oikawa smiled to himself and continued to swing, humming and already planning out what he would tell his friends about his new neighbor.

---

The first time Oikawa saw Iwa-chan in her school uniform he laughed.

Iwa-chan puffed up her cheeks angrily which made her look even more ridiculous in her green and black plaid jumper.

“I-I-Iwa-chan!” Oikawa cried, clutching his stomach and wiping away his tears.

“Shut up!” she yelled, red in the face from both anger and embarrassment. She crossed her arms and glared at the sidewalk. “I told mom that I would look stupid…”

Oikawa felt a little guilty for his teasing, but instead patted her back. “Don’t worry about for too long. You get to wear a skirt when you’re older.”

“That’s not much better,” she complained. “I don’t like skirts or dresses! I just wanna wear shorts, like you!” she exclaimed, gesturing to Oikawa’s uniform.

Oikawa grinned and struck a pose. “I look great, I know,” he bragged. He blew a kiss at Iwa-chan and she punched his shoulder. “Ow! Mean!”

She snorted. “It’s your fault that I’m this way. Maybe if you weren't so-so agogant I wouldn’t do it.”

“Agogant? What’s that?”

“It means that you’re full of yourself,” she sniffed.

“I am not full of myself!” said Oikawa defensively. “It’s not my fault that I’m so perfect.”

Iwa-chan muttered something under her breath that Oikawa didn’t catch. Oikawa opened his mouth to ask her what was on her mind, but the bus rolled around and Oikawa had to say good-bye to her. He hopped unto the bus and plopped down on his normal seat. He opened the window and screamed loudly while waving, “BYE, IWA-CHAN!” Oikawa howled with laughter when she started to spew insults at him. They yelled at each other until they were too far away to hear the other's voice.

“Who was that?” asked one of his friends.

“That’s Iwa-chan,” replied Oikawa proudly. “My Iwa-chan.”

---

Iwa-chan didn’t have any trouble fitting in, just like Oikawa had predicted.

Sure, she was rough around the edges and constantly got into fights. Sure, she had the mouth of a sailor and she always had a bruise that she would proudly display. But she was kind, loyal, caring and soft when she wanted to be. She quickly made friends with the boys in her class and most of the girls as well. The guys like her rough-and-tumble ways. The girls like her attitude.

Oikawa came home before her and he always waited at the bus stop for her. She would hop off the bus, her short hair askew, jumper dirty, and one white sock longer than the other. She always had a new injury to show off and an even better story to go along with it.

“I got this when Toshi-kun and I fell during soccer,” she said, pointing to an ugly black and purple bruise on her shin.

“Mei-chan couldn’t get the crayons on the top shelf so I stood on the stool and got them for her but I fell,” explained the bright yellow and pink band-aids on her elbow.

“Katashi-kun is a bully so I punched him in the face,” was the reason why she had a black-eye.

Her mother always fretted and scolded her for acting in such a rash way. Oikawa, on the other hand, admired her for it. He wished that he were strong enough to stand up to bullies like that. He wished that he was able to rough-house with others and win like her. 

Oikawa really liked that about her. Her strength. Sometimes it was in your face like when they raced and Iwa-chan beat him by a couple of seconds or when they were playing soccer with the neighborhood kids and she kicked the ball so hard that it was more missile than ball. Other times it was quiet like when he heard her father and mother yelling at each other and she didn’t flinch or when she held Oikawa when he cried when his sister went away to college. Her strength was definitely her best quality.

“You’re very strong. I like that about you,” he confessed to her one late October day. They were at the park near the forest where the trees grew so high they seemed to touch the sky. They were playing around and Iwaizumi had climbed up one of them and was currently sitting down on a branch, swinging her legs to an unknown beat, an image of her that was stick with for the rest of his life.

“What are talking about?” she asked, peering down at him.

“You’re the strongest person I know. I bet you’re stronger than my dad!”

She shook her head. “My mom is the strongest. Not me. I only pretend.”

Oikawa couldn’t really see how it was all pretend. There was no faking her powerful stance when she stared down Yoshi, the mean kid five houses down, or how hard she could already spike the volleyball Oikawa constantly tossed to her.

“It’s not pretend,” he whispered to her quietly. He chewed his bottom before a light bulb went off in his head. “Hey, I’ll prove it to you! Iwa-chan, be my wife!”

“What?!” she exclaimed, almost falling out the branch. Her grip on the branch was extra tight now and she stared down at him with eyes as wide as saucers. 

“Be my wife,” he repeated, smiling. “If you’re my wife you have to be with me all the time so that I can show you all the ways that you are strong every single day!”

Iwa-chan’s face twisted. “That ain’t how marriage works, stupid. Besides, why would I marry you? Or anyone, really. It’s dumb. I can live by myself just fine.”

“You need someone,” insisted Oikawa, trying to climb up the tree. Iwa-chan eyed him warily. “Everyone does, else you get lonely. And I don’t wanna be lonely.”

“That’s you,” she snapped as she watched Oikawa jam his foot on the bark incorrectly and tumbled off.  He bounced back up easily and tried again. “I don’t care if I’m lonely.”

“That can’t be right,” said Oikawa, the rough bark digging into his soft hands. “Nobody wants that.”

“Who says that living with someone can’t make you lonely either?” she spat bitterly. Oikawa’s eyes widened as he saw a sharp, cold edge take over her eyes. “Who says that being married means happily ever after?”

Oikawa opened his mouth but no words came out. Besides, it was too late anyways. Iwa-chan had already hopped off of the tree and started to stalk back home. Oikawa watched her go, suddenly sick to his stomach. How was it possible to live with someone and feel alone? That made no sense! What could possibly make Iwa-chan think like that.

I just have to prove her wrong, Oikawa thought to himself as he jumped off the tree and raced after Iwa-chan. I'll prove her wrong someday.

---

My mommy and daddy don't love each other, Iwa-chan told him. They don’t love each other and he doesn’t love me.

Oikawa didn’t understand. How could a dad not love his own child? Especially one such as cool as Iwa-chan.

But then Oikawa saw Iwa-chan's father stumble home drunk one lazy Wednesday night and he heard her parents yelling, hurling vicious and poisonous insults at each other. The doors are locked, window curtains drawn but the lights are on and Oikawa was transfixed by the shape of the adults clashing with each other.

“Come along, Tooru,” said his mother, grimacing. “No need to watch them.”

But Oikawa wanted to watch. He wanted to watch because that was what Iwa-chan was living and he wanted to understand why the next day she doesn’t show any indication of the screaming match that went down at her house the night before. The only thing that suggested what she had gone through were the dark circles under her eyes.

“You can come over to my house next time,” said Oikawa quietly. “I have a new alien movie that I want to watch with you.”

She blinked, surprised. Maybe she had been hoping that Oikawa hadn’t noticed what had happened. But her eyes are soft when she replied, “Okay. Thank you.”

And she does come over, that night actually. She curled up with Oikawa on the couch and the two watched the movie in silence, the harsh glow of the TV their only source of light. Her hair tickled underneath his chin and Oikawa could feel her breath on his neck. It’s comfortable to be like this. He liked holding her in his arms. It kinda felt as though he was protecting her, shielding her. He was the strong one for once. 

She left once the coast is clear and thanked both Oikawa and his family for allowing her to stay over. The next day her mother showed up with cookies and years upon years of gratitude. She looked tired and haggard but she was beaming at her daughter and Oikawa as though they were the most precious things to her. And maybe they were.

The fighting got worse. It’s not safe for Hajime to be in her house anymore, said Iwa-chan’s mother, so Iwa-chan became the Oikawa’s new adopted daughter for the month. Both Oikawa and Iwa-chan are too young to understand the seriousness of the situation. All they knew is that they were having a very, very long sleepover and that they would be able to play with each other any time they wanted without having to go over to each other’s houses.

Iwa-chan inherited Oikawa’s sister’s room and Oikawa constantly snuck in during the night. They stayed up late into night, quietly talking to each other and falling asleep in each other’s arms. The Oikawas didn’t know what to make of the two children when they first saw the scene, Oikawa sprawled on the bed with Iwa-chan’s foot near his face and Oikawa almost kneeing her’s. They are baffled but quickly accept it and take a couple of pictures for memories sake because the children looked so cute huddled together.

Oikawa learned that Iwa-chan liked to sleep with long sleeves and shorts and she preferred her red socks over to her blue socks to sleep in. He learned that putting on a jumper a tougher than it looks and that it is very uncomfortable to wear. He also learned that she liked to listen to music before she fell asleep so Oikawa sang for her. She complained because it wasn't the same as her mom but she fell asleep anyways so Oikawa considered it a victory. 

Her mother visited them sometimes, looking worse and worse each time. But she brightened up when she saw her daughter and smothers Iwa-chan with her love.

“Hajime, Hajime, Hajime,” she cooed as Iwa-chan struggled against her ferocious hug. “I missed you so much, my dear!”

“Yeah, yeah, I missed you too,” she conceded, sighing. “Now come on! I want to show you the spaceship me and Oikawa built!”

Iwaizumi-san always happy around them but when she thought that they weren't looking she looked tired and upset. She whispered to Oikawa’s parents about her woes. Iwaizumi-san told them that her husband hadn't been going to work and that he went out drinking often. She told them about how it had started in the city and how she had hoped that moving to the suburbs would help them. She cried on Oikawa's mother’s shoulder when she told them how it had failed and that the one that was really suffering now was Iwa-chan.

“It was all for Hajime,” she sobbed quietly. “All for my little girl. But I can’t do this anymore and neither can he. He needs to go. He is good for nothing but I still love him. He needs to leave but I want him to stay. I wish that he would go back to the way he was, oh how I wish Hajime could have met him when he was kind, sweet, and pure.”

Oikawa and Iwa-chan hear all of this, hidden in the shadows. The light of the kitchen poured into the next room and Oikawa and Iwa-chan watched the shadows of their parents. Oikawa looked over at Iwa-chan who stared listlessly ahead of her.

“I hate him,” she mumbled. “I hate him with a burning passion. Look at what he did to mommy! Look, Oikawa, look!” And Oikawa’s looking and he feels as though he were about to cry too. Iwa-chan’s eyes water but the tears don’t come out. They don’t come out because she is strong and angry. “I hate him so much.”

“I’ll give you my dad,” whispered Oikawa in her ear, clutching her hand in his. “We can share him. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

Iwa-chan shook her head. “Thank you, Oikawa, but mommy is enough for me.” She leaned against him and Oikawa wraped his arms around her, protecting her from the darkness of the world, even if it was just for a moment.

---

Her father moves out one month later and that was the first time Oikawa saw Iwa-chan cry.

She was standing on the front porch with her mother as their father yelled at them. Iwaizumi-san was stoic, her face impassive. Iwaizumi-san stood tall and proud and Oikawa could see why Iwa-chan said that her mother was the strongest. Iwaizumi-san was a force to contend with.

And so was her father. If her mother was a fortress then her father was a cannonball. He was going nuts, waving his arms around and screaming profanities at his daughter and ex-wife. He had Iwa-chan’s black eyes and chin and his foot slammed the ground just like Iwa-chan’s when she threw a tantrum.

Iwa-chan was trembling under her father’s harsh words. Her mother held herself up but Iwa-chan seemed to be on the verge of collapse.

Oikawa and his parents watched the scene unfold from the safety of their house. Oikawa's father looked ready to run out there and defend mother and daughter if he had too. But he wasn’t the one that ran out the door when the first tear trickled down.

Oikawa saw red as he stormed out the door, ignoring his parent’s protests. He ran to the porch and flung himself at Iwa-chan, much to everyone’s surprise. Iwa-chan clung to him and buried her face in his shoulder, trembling.

“You’re making Iwa-chan cry!” Oikawa screamed, staring down at her father, cheeks puffed in anger.

The older man studied Oikawa, eyes sharp and hungry. “So, you’re the brat she’s been hanging out with. Figures. She’s never been a girl. And if she does become one she’ll be a whore for sure.” Iwa-chan’s mother bristles with rage and Oikawa stared at him dumbly, unsure about what that word meant. “She’ll grow tired of you, I’m sure. She always grows tired of people.” Iwa-chan’s mother was about ready to chop his head off when he spun around and walked away, hands in his pockets and whistling a tune. They watched him go until he was out of sight and relaxed when he is gone

The adrenaline that had brought Oikawa there had disappeared and he found himself scared with a crying Iwa-chan in his embrace.

“I HATE HIM!” she bawled, clutching Oikawa’s shirt and wetting his shoulder with her tears. “I HATE HIM! I HATE HIME! HE’S SO MEAN!” she sniffled and wailed, “I’m so sorry, Oikawa! I’m so sorry for everything he said! I swear none of it is true. He’s a liar, Oikawa. A LIAR!” She broke into another round of sobbing.

Oikawa pressed her closer and lead her down on the steps and sat down. He ran his fingers through her hair and rubbed circles on the small of her back. “I believe you, Iwa-chan,” he whispered softly. “I know that you won’t leave me.”

“I won’t ever leave you, Iwa-chan,” promised Oikawa. “Never, ever.”

And it’s true. Iwa-chan would never leave him. They hadn’t known each other long but Oikawa couldn’t imagine a world without her. What an awful way to live!

She looked up at him with tear-streaked cheeks and quivering lips. “Do you mean it?” she whispered hoarsely.

“I swear on my life,” Oikawa swore solemnly. 

The two children sat there for the rest of the day, Oikawa whispering comforting words to Iwa-chan's ear. They stayed out until the sun was setting and their parents called them inside to eat. At the table a feast was set and for the time being they forgot about their hurting hearts and dug in. There was laughter and jokes and Iwaizumi-san looks brighter than Oikawa had seen her in a while. For the first time in two months Iwa-chan went back home to her bed and slept without worrying about waking up to a civil war inside her house.

---

The years passed by quick and soon the two of them were in their sixth year of elementary. Oikawa had grown out of shorts and started to wear pants as well as the sweater vests that were used by the older kids. He had teased Iwa-chan for days when he had first made the switch, mostly because Iwa-chan still had to wear the jumper. However, nowadays…

“That’s dumb,” Oikawa said. “You’re almost in Junior High.”

“I know,” sighed Iwa-chan, swinging her backpack. “It’s a pain in the ass to put this thing on. I can’t wait until next year when I get to wear a skirt.” She wrinkled her nose. “Not that it’s much better but still.”

“I bet that Iwa-chan will look super cute in a skirt,” said Oikawa, slinging an arm over her shoulders. She rolled her eyes but allowed his casual and flirtatious contact. Ever since the beginning of the year Oikawa and grown cuter and cuter and many girls had taken notice of this. There were several days when Oikawa and Iwaizumi would sit underneath Iwa-chan’s tree and Oikawa would tell her about what he had heard girls say about him.

Prince Oikawa Tooru, they called him.

Trashykawa, said Iwa-chan.

Rude! Said Oikawa, but by now the nickname was a sign of Iwa-chan’s endearment to him.

“What makes you say that?” asked Iwa-chan, tilting her head. Oikawa snapped back to the present and grinned at her.

“Because, you’re cute! You just need something that shows off your feminine side more. A skirt is the perfect solution!” he chirped. She socked him as he laughed and opened the door to his house. “I’m hooommee~” he sang as he dumped his backpack at the entrance.

“Tooru!” exclaimed his mother, emerging from the kitchen. “Welcome back! Hello, Hajime-chan.”

“Hello, Aoi-san. How are you?” greeted Iwa-chan, placing her bag next to Tooru’s.

“I’m fine, thank you. Lunch will be ready in about five minutes so you two better change quick.”

“Got it, mom,” said Oikawa. He took Iwa-chan’s hand and the pair flew up the stairs. Oikawa’s mother watched them go lovingly, thankful that Tooru had found such a good friend in Hajime.

The two burst into Oikawa’s room and Iwa-chan made a beeline for the dresser. (She come over so many times that sometimes it felt like she lived in Oikawa’s house. There were pieces of her scattered all over his room.)

She dug around the clothes until she produced a shirt and jeans. “Bathroom!” she hollered as she sped out of the room.

“Okay!” hollered Oikawa back, shutting his bedroom door. He threw on a random shirt and ratty jeans because there is nothing to do that day and all he wanted to do is laze around. Iwa-chan bursted in a few seconds after he’s done changing. Oikawa blinked at her.

“Fast,” he observed.

“I always am,” she snorted. She bumped shoulders with Oikawa and he felt a surge of irritation by the casual reminder that she was taller than him. Not by much, but just enough that she rubbed it in his face every chance she got.

“I’m going to be taller than you one day,” he growled as Iwa-chan flopped down on his bed.

She laughed and raised her hands over her head. She grinned at him, looking smug. “Gotta rub it while I still I have the chance then.” She tucked her hands under her head.

“You’re awful,” Oikawa groaned as he sat down next to her. He began to trace the pattern of the bedspread, aliens that were now a pale green due to many years of use.

“Maybe. I’m not as bad as you,” she retorted, looking up at him.

Oikawa frowned and tried to look offended. “What are you talking about, Iwa-chan? I’m so pure and wonderful it’s a miracle that we have stayed friends for as long as we have.”

She snickered. “Yeah, it’s a real mystery. Someday we’ll figure it out.”

They sit there in silence, enjoying each other’s company. Iwa-chan watched as Oikawa traced the aliens, lips slightly parted. Oikawa felt his fingers tingle under her gentle gaze and tried not to fidget too much. Quiet moments like this always got him thinking strange things. It was in moments like these that Oikawa realized that she was a girl.

Well, he was always aware of that but she looked more like the girls in school versus how Oikawa usually saw her. Suddenly Iwa-chan wasn't just his next-door neighbor and friend. For a split second she becomes something more. Something more precious. Something more romantic. 

For some odd reason his felt his chest grow tight and his heart pound violently. He stopped tracing, his fingers starting to shake.

Iwa-chan frowned and looked up at him. “Oikawa?” she asked softly

“Am I your best friend?” Oikawa blurted, blushing like a mad man.

Iwa-chan seemed taken aback by the question but answered honestly, “Yeah. Why wouldn’t you be?”

Oikawa licked his lips nervously. “We-we’ve never really established what we were-“

“Dumbass,” she hissed. “What else would we be?”

“I-I don’t know. I’ve never really had a best friend before. I mean, I’ve had close friends but… it’s not the same as it is with you and I didn’t know if you felt the same way-“

“Shittykawa, I literally only hang out with you.”

Oikawa blinked. “I-I-I“

But she’s right. Oikawa didn’t really bring anyone else home. Why would he when he had Iwa-chan? He was always with her, which meant that she was always with him. It hadn’t been something he had really thought about until now but…

She smiled at him. “Whatever made you think that we were anything but best friends?”

“My secret insecurity that only you know about?” he replied.

“I can’t believe that you admitted,” she mussed. “But anyways, yeah we’re best friends you big loser.”

Oikawa finds himself smiling shyly at her. He curled his legs up into his body and laid his head on his knees. “That makes me really happy. I’m glad that we’re going to the same school next year.”

Iwa-chan smiled back. “Me too.”

“Tooru, Hajime-chan!” called Oikawa’s mother. “Lunch is ready!”

“Coming!” they yelled in unison, stumbling over their feet in their to get downstairs. They seat themselves at the table and find Iwaizumi-san there as well. The four ate and chattered with each other. It’s a pointless conversation, small talk if you will. It’s made even more pointless because Iwa-chan had told Oikawa that they were best friends. Everything else seemed kind of pointless after such a discovery.

He snaked his hand under the table and found her hand. He fit them hands together, relishing in her warmth. Iwa-chan gave no outer indications towards what Oikawa was doing, but she squeezed his hand back. Oikawa had to cover his smile with his other hand.

He's not sure if he would ever feel as happy as he did in that moment.

---

The first day Oikawa sees Iwa-chan in her uniform he was highly reminded that he was a growing boy and that she was a growing girl.

She had left to go visit her grandparents between the end of elementary and the start of Junior High. Oikawa had pouted for weeks when she told him and had pouted some more after she had left. His mother finally kicked him out of the house and told him to stop mopping around.

Go hang out with some of your friends, Tooru.

But I only wanna hang out with Iwa-chan!

His mother had glared him down until he picked up the phone and arranged to go and meet up with some friends at the park.

Was that so hard?  his mother asked.

They aren’t Iwa-chan, was all he said.

And he was right. He had loads of fun with his other friends but he still missed Iwa-chan. Nothing could beat laying around in her room and talking about nothing. Nothing beat curling up with her to watch an alien movie that he had goaded her into watch with him. And there was absolutely nothing that could top playing volleyball with her.

Yes, he missed her dearly and he counted down the days until he could see her again. They were supposed to see each other the day before school started but she had to go buy her uniform and finish up buying school supplies so Oikawa was left sulking in his room for the rest of the day.

He woke up the morning of his first year of Junior High ecstatic.

School! Iwa-chan! New friends! Iwa-chan! Volleyball team! IWA-CHAN!

He basically flew down the stairs and shoved his breakfast in his mouth.

“I never thought that I would ever see you this excited for school,” said his mother, pretending to wipe away a tear from her eye.

Oikawa rolled his eyes. “Mom, please don’t ruin this for me. Let me be happy.”

His mother laughed good-naturedly and his father looked at him with a twinkle in his eye. “This is going to be the first time you see Hajime-chan since school ended, right?”

Oikawa nodded enthusiastically. “I can’t to tell her about everything that I’ve done!”

“I’m sure you can’t,” replied his mother, sharing a conspiratory look with her husband. Oikawa stared at them blankly and shoveled in the rest of the food in his mouth. “Thank you!” he called as he raced out the door.

“Have a good day at school!” called his mother.

“Tell Hajime-chan that we say hi!” said his father.

Oikawa sprinted to the bus stop, veins thrumming with nervous energy. He finally got to the bus stop and there she was. Oikawa sucked in a breath and nearly choked on his exhale.

The first thing that he noticed were her legs. Sure, he’d seen them hundreds of times before, but never like this. Never in Kitagawa Daiichi’s blue and grey plaid skirt that flirted with her thighs. Her tanned and sport-toned thighs. That are attached to her legs, which are attached to her, and holy shit she caught him looking, fuck, fuck, fuck-

“Something wrong?” she asked, crossing her arms. “I know that you haven’t seen me in three months but…”

“I was right!” he exclaimed triumphantly, marching up to her. He hopeed that his face wasn’t as red as it felt. “Iwa-chan looks really cute in a skirt.”

“Shut up,” she sighed, weakly punching his shoulder.

He laughed before frowning again. “You’re still taller than me?”

“Gee, sucks to suck, doesn’t?” she replied, her lips curling into a smirk.

“As rude as ever, I see,” snorted Oikawa. "But it's nice to see you again." He glanced down at her legs.

Very nice.

"My face is up here, asshole. Don't make a show of this just because it's the first time you've seen me in a skirt."

He looked back up at her. “Didn’t the time with your grandparents teach you that you have to treat everyone with love and care?”

She threw her head back and laughed and Oikawa couldn’t help but notice that her body was changing in other ways as well. Was he becoming a pervert? Please no. “Oikawa, my grandparents are as irritable as I am! They’re the kind to kick teenagers off their lawn and shake their canes at them!”

“Such a shame. I thought that they would have been able to mellow you out.”

She cuffed him. He laughed. The bus arrived. They piled in and seated themselves as quickly as possible.

Iwa-chan leaned against him and Oikawa was acutely aware that their legs were brushing each other. “I’m scared,” she admitted softly. “I don’t know if I’ll be able to make other friends.”

“You’re dumb,” he said. “Of course you’ll make other friends.”

“Hm, well, you have yet to be proven wrong…”

“Such is the life of a person who is always right.” He grinned when she pinched his cheek.

“You’re annoying,” she huffed, her smile betraying her amusement.

They sat in silence for the rest of the ride. Iwa-chan laid her head on Oikawa's shoulder and dozed off, totally at peace with the world. Oikawa, on the other hand, was wide awake and suffering. He could feel every point that their legs touched and it sent sparks of electricity through him.  There was this feeling bubbling up inside him and he couldn’t, for the life him, understand what it was and how to deal with it. All he knew was that he would absolutely love to place his hand on Iwa-chan’s leg.

This is a totally foreign feeling to him. All his life she had just been Iwa-chan, his aggressive yet very sweet neighbor. Now, though, she was becoming something else. He had felt before in passing but now the feeling was very much there and very much demanding all his attention.

Oikawa didn’t want to deal with it.

He was relieved when he saw the school and was able to shake Iwa-chan awake.

“Mh?” she said sleepily, burying her nose into his neck. He hoped that it wasn’t as sweaty as his palms were. “Five more minutes, mom.”

“Mom?” teased Oikawa. Iwa-chan snapped awake and banged her head against Oikawa’s chin. The two groaned in pain.

“Your fault,” she mumbled, clutching her head. Oikawa is too disoriented to argue.

They pile out of the bus and get lost in the flood of students coming into the school. Iwa-chan stayed close to him. So close that their hands constantly bumped into each other. Oikawa tried to not think about it too much.

The opening ceremony was boring as hell and Oikawa found the stray threads of his uniform more interesting. It didn’t help that they had put the boys and girls on opposite sides of the gym. It was awful not to have Iwa-chan beside him so that he could complain to her.

“This is dumb,” muttered the kid beside him. Oikawa snorted in agreement. The kids smiled at him wryly. “Name’s Yoshida Akhito.”

“Oikawa Tooru,” replied Oikawa. They nodded at each other and Oikawa felt more at ease knowing that now he had least had someone to talk to while the principal droned on and on. “Do you know anyone else here?”

Yoshida grinned. “A few. We’re not close friends but we’re pretty friendly with each other. You?”

“Same, but there is one that I’m close with. She’s my next-door neighbor.”

"Cool. What's here name."

Yoshida whistled quietly. "Oh, I've heard of her. Some kid in my neighborhood went to school with her." A teacher glared in Yoshida's direction. Oikawa stifled a laugh as Yoshida hung his head in shame. “I can’t believe it. They have the ears of hawks, I swear.”

They spent the rest of the ceremony whispering to each other and even involving two other boys in the conversation. After two hours of pure agony they were dismissed and sent to their homerooms. Oikawa ground his teeth in frustration because the homerooms were put together by last names and Oikawa and Iwaizumi are nowhere near each other in the alphabet. Neither were Yoshida and Oikawa.

He tried his best not to let his irritation show, though. He smiled politely at everyone and even winked at a few of the girls. They giggled behind their hands and whispered to each other, probably something about how cute he was.

Tooru was completely in control of the situation. Just the way he liked it.

Except that all of that control slipped out of his hands when he saw Iwa-chan again. The students had been dismissed for lunch and Tooru hurriedly ran to what he hoped was Iwa-chan’s homeroom. He was not wrong, thank goodness, but his blood ran cold when he saw her.

She’s not alone, is his first thought. 

It’s irrational, he knows, but he can’t help but hate the boys surrounding her, hanging on to her. They stood around in a loose circle around her so that she was the center of their attention. One of them is telling her some sort of crazy story, gesticulating wildly and making faces. She was smiling and laughing at him and the other boys look at her eagerly. In his mind’s eye Oikawa saw her like a little fish surrounded by hungry sharks.

(The reality of the situation was that the boy had been telling his friends the story and Hajime had found it interesting enough to squeeze into the group and listen. They had accepted her as one of their own but found it a bit odd. After all, weren’t girls supposed to be passive?)

“Iwa-chan!” called Oikawa, waving his hand. Iwa-chan scowled at him and the boys snickered.

“That your boyfriend?” one of them teased.

She snorted. “As if. He’s my annoying neighbor.”

Oikawa feigned injury and pouted. “Is that all I am to you? How mean!”

A small smirk played on her lips but she waved goodbye to her classmates and went over to Oikawa. He smiled brightly at her and slung an arm across her shoulders. As they were walking out Oikawa glanced back at the boys, who blinked dumbly at his sign of possession over her.

He shouldn’t be feeling so smug.

Oikawa led her to a secluded area near the back of the school and the two eat their bento boxes in relative peace. Oikawa has trouble concentrating on his food, though, because Iwa-chan’s legs were right there in front of him. Was it normal for him to want to touch them so bad?

“I’m nervous about tryouts today,” she confessed to him, stuffing rice into her mouth. “I’m not sure if I can make the team.”

“That’s dumb,” replied Oikawa, wiping away a piece of rice off her face with his thumb. Was the skin of her legs as smooth as the skin of her face? “You’re a good player and a natural athlete. I doubt that you won’t make it.”

She frowned at him. “Aren’t you nervous?”

“Not really. I know I’m a good player and a good athlete. And if neither of those two work I can always seduce the coach with my good looks.” He winked at her.

“You’re going to seduce your older male coach,” she deadpanned.

He shrugged. “Hey, a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do.”

“You are full of shit,” she grumbled and returns to shoveling her food.

The bell rings soon after and they hurry back inside. For the rest of the day all Oikawa can think about is that Iwa-chan’s skirt is a little shorter in the back that it is in the front.

He was hoping that volleyball would help him take his mind off of Iwa-chan and her glorious legs. Volleyball should have been able to distract him. However, he forgot that the girls have tryouts at the same time. And that they wear spandex. That the spandex is shorter than the skirt. That Iwa-chan is wearing the spandex which is shorter than the skirt. If it weren’t for the fact that there was a barrier between the two groups Oikawa wondered how many balls would have hit him in the face because he had been ogling at Iwa-chan.

I have to do something, he thinks on the bus. Something that will stop this obsession.

“Iwa-chan, I’ve noticed that you’ve gotten more muscular,” he blurted out. “Care to share why?”

She looked at him strangely. “I worked out a lot, I guess? I did a lot of swimming too. Plus, my older cousins are awful and I needed a way to protect myself.”

“An eventful summer, I see.”

She rolled her eyes and smiled fondly at him. “You have no idea. See, Sakura-chan thought that climbing up the ladder to that small loft in the farm was a good idea…” Oikawa watched in amusement as she launched into the story, hands flying and words rough. Oikawa leaned back against the seat and contented himself with counting how many times she cursed.

He loved Iwa-chan’s stories because they were often wild and whenever she told them she would get this sparkle in her eye that only showed up again when she was playing volleyball.

Oikawa started a silent mantra, telling himself that this was Iwa-chan, the girl in front of him. She was nothing special. Just his next door neighbor. Only a friend and nothing more.

This continued until the bus stopped and they both sped off to Iwa-chan’s house. They opened the door and said “I’m home!” and raced up the stairs before Iwaizumi-san can reply. They locked themselves in Iwa-chan’s room and chattered endlessly about their day at school.

“You know,” said Oikawa casually, leaning against the back of Iwa-chan’s spinning chair. “I could probably get a girlfriend this year.”

“That’s wonderful,” replied Iwa-chan, picking her fingernails. “Have fun with that.”

For some odd reason her dismissal did not sit well with Oikawa. However, he ignored the feeling and pressed on. “She’s going to be so pretty. You’re gonna be jealous.”

She frowned and looked up. “Why would I be jealous about her dating you? Who on earth would want to go out with a jerk like you?”

Oikawa started to protest but he couldn’t be heard over Iwa-chan’s obnoxious laughter. He fumed in silence and told himself, see, this why you can’t like her.

The next day he sees her he almost believes it.

---

Oikawa got his first girlfriend in his second year of Junior High. He also saw Iwa-chan cry for the second time.

His first girlfriend was a petite girl with a round face, full lips, and twinkling eyes. She had a beautiful smile and spoke softly and her laugh sounded like tinkling bells.

She had asked him out with a cliché letter and blushed when he opened it. Oikawa read it carefully, once, twice, three times, before grinning. He really didn’t have any feelings towards her but she seemed nice enough. She was cute to boot too. He accepted.

Man, was Iwa-chan going to be jealous.

And she might have been if she weren’t so preoccupied with her slowly crumbling self-esteem. Oikawa knew nothing of this, though, only that she was spending more and more time looking at the mirror, frowning. He had other important matters to attend to, like if his girlfriend would like to go to that new café down the street as a first date. He found himself very involved in his girlfriend and dotted on her a lot, just like a good boyfriend should. However, he had started to neglect Iwa-chan and if it weren’t for Yoshida prompting him to hang out with her he wouldn’t have even thought of it.

Oikawa decided that it would be a good idea to go downtown with her so that they could shop for things. He had heard from Iwa-chan’s mother that she needed new clothes. He needed to buy a gift for his one month anniversary with his girlfriend. Two birds, one stone!

Iwa-chan had reluctantly agreed, never being one to like shopping unless it was for sports. She only went because Oikawa had promised her that they would check out the new sports shop that had opened up there recently.

Oikawa had thought that the hang out would be comfortable and nice but…

“Iwa-chan,” he sighed when he caught her looking at her reflection on a shop window for the fifth time in a row. He waved his hand in front of her face. “You’ll never be as pretty as me,” he said, unnerved by her new behavior. Where was the Iwa-chan he knew?

Iwa-chan blinked up at him and said quietly, “I know.” Oikawa stared at her in shock as she walked away, head down and shoulders slumped.

He chased after her. “Iwa-chan! Wait up!” She glanced back at him and Oikawa noticed for the first time the dark bags underneath her eyes. “Iwa-chan, are you okay?” he asked once he caught up to her.

“I’m fine,” she snapped. “Just great.”

Oikawa shook his head. “No, you aren’t. What’s wrong?”

She glared at him. “Fuck off.” She pointedly spun around and marched off.

Oikawa took a step back before chasing her down again. “This… this isn’t about Haruka-chan, is it? I know that I don’t spend that much time with you anymore but you know that you’re one of the most important people in my life, right? You can tell me anything!”

She slowed down and turned to him. Her eyes were soft when she said, “This isn’t… I don’t have anything against Haruka-san. You guys seem happy. I don’t mind you spending time with her. That’s what you have to do as a boyfriend. I would be more worried if you didn’t do that.”

But there was a dangerous edge to her voice, as though if Oikawa pushed her she would topple over and break. She spun around and kept walking. Oikawa trailed behind her, wondering what could have happened to her.

He brought this up to Haruka-chan during their date. She only shrugged. “You can’t help everyone out. Maybe she’s just in a funk.”

Oikawa bit his lip. “It’s just… weird seeing her like this. She’s always been so confident…”

Haruka-chan sighed. “You know, I’m going to be honest with you. I don’t like Iwaziumi-chan a lot. She’s too boyish, you know? She doesn’t act like a girl.”

“But she’s always been like that,” Oikawa said, confused as to why her acting as a boy was a bad thing. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“She needs to become more feminine,” was all Haruka-chan said. She tapped the menu in front of him. “Now, are you going to order something?”

Her words stuck with Oikawa though. He started to pay closer attention to Iwa-chan in hopes of being able to crack what was going on with her. She seemed fine, much to his dismay. She constantly scowled but that was just her face. Maybe Haruka-chan was right. Maybe she had just hadn’t been feeling well for a while but she was okay now.

He would have continued thinking that if he hadn’t been for Yoshida.

It was their last day of school before summer break and Yoshida had invited Oikawa over to his house to play volleyball. Oikawa had agreed because, why not? Yoshida was cool and he needed to hang out with a guy friend anyways. He said his goodbyes to Iwa-chan, who frowned, (“Why are you saying that, dumbass? You sound as though you’re going to die.”) and happily walked to Yoshida’s. The two chattered on about school and volleyball.

“I think that you’re going to be captain next year,” said Yoshida, tossing the ball up in the air.

Oikawa watched as it fell back into Yoshida’s hands. “I would like that. I hope that we get some good first years. We’re going to need it because a lot of third years are leaving.”

“The first years right now are in pretty good shape. I’m not too worried.”

“Of course you wouldn’t be, I’m just saying.” Yoshida laughed as they climbed up the steps to Yoshida’s house. Yoshida fished his key out of his bag and unlocked the door. He swung it open and dramatically gestured for Oikawa to come in. Oikawa snickered and mockingly bowed at him. They kicked off their shoes, said hello to Yoshida’s parents, and raced outside.

The weather was warm and the sun was out. The perfect summer day. It doesn’t take long before the boys were soaked in sweat, but neither of them cared. They were too focused on peppering with each other.

“By the way,” Yoshida asked as he spiked the ball down to Oikawa. “How is Iwaizumi-chan fairing?”

“Iwa-chan?” Oikawa received the ball flawlessly. “She’s doing fine. Why?”

Yoshida hummed as he set the ball. “She seemed out of it today. Can’t blame her though.”

Oikawa hit the ball half-heartedly. “What are you talking about?”

“You don’t know? She’s being bullied.” Yoshida passed it up.

Oikawa’s fingertips brushed the ball and it falls behind him. “Bullied?”

Yoshida looked at him, puzzled. “Yeah? You didn’t-you didn’t know?”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. People were bullying her? But she had seemed fine! Oikawa felt queasy. Surely she would have told him if she were getting bullied, right? They had always told each other these sort of things.  “I don’t believe you. Why would they do such a thing to here? Sure, she can be… you know… but she’s a really sweet person!”

Yoshida shrugged. “Because they’re sexist as shit. Keep telling her that she’s not a real girl because she doesn’t act like one. Or at least she doesn’t act like they think a girl should. Dumb, right?”

Oikawa started to shake. “N-no one’s- no one has commented on that before to her.”

“Wait, really? I thought that-“

“I’ve always- she never said- fuck- did Haruka-chan know about this?”

Yoshida knitted his eyebrows. “She might have. Why?”

“She told me a little while back that she didn’t like Iwa-chan,” Oikawa explained. “Same thing-same thing that these bullies are telling her.”

Yoshida let out a low whistle. “Damn. So there might be girls that are in this too? That fucking sucks. I hope that she’s doing okay. She seems strong, so maybe-“

“It was pretend,” whispered Oikawa to himself. “She was pretending to be okay. I-I-“ He picked up the volleyball and threw it to Yoshida. “I-I gotta go. I need to-I need to- I’m sorry.”

The other boy laughed nervously. “It’s no problem. Go and tell me about how she’s doing when you see her.” Oikawa nodded and apologized profusely again before racing out. He sprinted to the bus stop and waited in agony for the bus to arrive. The ride there was even more tortuous. It was all Oikawa could do to not tap his foot impatiently and lady don’t glare at me like that you literally have no idea about-

The doors opened and Oikawa flew off the busy and hurried to Iwa-chan’s. He passed white houses with pretty white fences and small green yards with baby trees who were just starting to stretch their limbs. He passes blue house with brown fences and large yards with old trees who wilt under the sun. Finally he gets to his house, the white kind, and rushes right to Iwa-chan’s, the blue kind. He stood on the porch for a moment, heaving and puffing, before knocking on the door. It opened almost immediately.

“Tooru-kun!” said Iwaizumi-san, startled. “Hajime told me that-“

“Where is she?” he breathed, his voice raspy. “Where’s Iwa-chan?”

Her mother gave him a confused look and pointed upstairs. Oikawa thanked her, slipping off his shoes and running up the stairs. He doesn’t know how he knew she would be in the bathroom, but something told him she would be. He burst through the door and found her sitting on the floor, beauty items strewn around her. She looked up at him with wide eyes and Oikawa immediately noticed the tear streaks on her cheek.

“Tooru,” she said softly, her voice shaking. Oikawa gets a lump in his throat that he can’t seem to dislodge. Iwa-chan never called him by his first name and hearing her say it made something his in stomach flutter and his heart pound. “Tooru, what are you doing here?”

Oikawa swallowed. She looked so small and defeated among the piles of make-up. “What are you doing?” he asked, his voice breaking at the end. “Why are you-“

“Because I’m not pretty,” she whispered and Oikawa’s heart broke. He crouched down and reached for her, wanting to comfort her, but she jerked away.

“That’s not true,” Oikawa said, inching closer. “Who told you that?”

“It is true,” she cried softly, eyes tearing up. “It’s always been true, but you never told me. You never-you never-“ Tears started slipping out. “I’ve noticed it before, long ago. I knew, I knew, but I never thought anything of it because who cares, Tooru, who cares if I’m not pretty?” She sniffed and wiped her eyes with the back of her hands. She stared at her now-wet hand. “I care. They care.”

“What are you talking about, Iwa-chan?” asked Oikawa, still moving towards her. She bared her teeth at him and shuffled away, scattering lipsticks, mascaras, and foundations in her wake.

“You don’t understand!” she cried. “You’ll never understand! You’ve always been good-looking! You’ve always had a stupidly attractive face that everyone loves and everyone will always love!” Oikawa flinched. “But me? I’ve never been that lucky. NEVER! No matter what I do people always tell me, ‘oh, you’re Oikawa-san’s friend?’ and then just stare me down like-like I’m not worth it or something. And yet-and yet-“

“Iwa-chan, I don’t-“

“I lied, Oikawa. I am jealous of Haruka-san. I’m jealous because she’s so pretty so effortlessly. Why can’t I be like?! WHY CAN’T I BE MORE LIKE HARUKA-SAN, MORE LIKE A GIRL SHOULD BE?!” She’s hysterical now, the tears flowing freely from her eyes. She tucked her knees in and wrapped her arms around them, a wretched sob escaping her throat . “I’m not graceful, I don’t have a nice face, I’m too buff, my hair is too spiky, I’m too loud, I-I can’t cook, I don’t know how to use make-up…”

"None that means-"

Iwa-chan picked up a lipstick and uncapped it. She brandished it front of Oikawa. “Did you know,” said quietly, “that my mom owns ten of these? Different colors, all of them. But she never uses them. Never taught me to use them either. She said I didn’t need it. She lied to me, Tooru. SHE LIED!” She threw the lipstick at Oikawa before burying her face in her arms.

Oikawa barely dodged the flying projectile and it grazed his cheek before hitting the wall and clattering down. He touched his cheek and smeared the lipstick with his fingers.

Red…

This time he crawled to her, silently so as to not alert her. It didn’t matter, though, because she was crying too loudly to notice anything. He sat down next to her and pulled her into a hug. He expected her to struggle against his embrace but she doesn’t. Instead she melted into his touch, her whole body relaxing against his. He lazily stroked her hair and whispered sweet nothings to her ear, lips brushing her forehead. Every part of him that touched her tingled with nervous energy. Oikawa blamed it on the fact that Iwa-chan seemed so fragile.

Oikawa hated whoever did this to her. Whoever put those tears in her eyes and made her believe that she was ugly, not a girl. He already knew how bad the gender roles were and he had always liked that Iwa-chan never really followed them. It wasn’t that he would be against her becoming more girly. He’d be lying if he hadn’t looked at Haruka-chan and wondered what Iwa-chan would look like with soft make-up like his girlfriend’s.

But that wasn’t her. If it was she wouldn’t be here right now, curled up in his arms.

He had to do something to stop the flow of these tears. He had to something to ease her aching heart.

“My sister is coming back,” Oikawa whispered. “I’m sure that she could teach you something.”

Iwa-chan blinked at him with blood-shot eyes and he felt a surge of protectiveness towards her. “Do you think so?” she asked quietly. “Would she do that?”

He swallowed uncomfortably. “Of course she would. You’re the little sister she never had.”

She started to cry again, this time in gratitude. But the pit in Oikawa’s stomach doesn’t lessen. He awkwardly patted her back and carded his fingers through her hair, breathing in her familiar scent. It occured to him, for a moment, that he never got these kinds of butterflies whenever he held Haruka-chan.

The next day Oikawa Mako came home, baby and husband in tow. It’s a messy reunion, Oikawa thinks, but it’s a happy one nonetheless. Oikawa liked Mako’s husband. He reminded Oikawa of an actor, always prim and proper. He smiled like one too. Maybe that’s why Mako married him. Oikawa too would marry someone for their heart-stealing smile.

Mako was overjoyed when Iwa-chan came up to her and asked her if she can teach her how to use make-up. The older Oikawa wrapped her in a tight embrace, babbling on and on about how happy she was that Iwa-chan wanted to learn.

“You’ll be the prettiest girl in school!” she declared, squishing Iwa-chan even more into her bosom. Oikawa snickered as Iwa-chan flailed around and tried to pry herself from Mako’s steel-like grip. “Tooru-kun,” his sister called, still clutching Iwa-chan. “Don’t you think that Iwa-chan will become the prettiest girl once I’m done with her?”

She’s already the prettiest, Oikawa wanted to say, but instead smiled and flashed them a peace sign. “I’m sure she will!”

Oikawa doesn’t see much of Iwa-chan and his sister after that. It’s a girl thing, Mako would say, winking and waggling her finger at him.

But I want to play volleyball with her! he whined, stamping his feet.

Mako would laugh. You sound like an estranged boyfriend! Go hang out with Haruka-chan.

And he did hang out with her, but it just wasn’t the same. Haruka-chan didn’t like volleyball like he did. She didn’t even like sports at all. She rather go out shopping and lay around at her house. But it was okay! Oikawa didn’t mind.

(What a total lie. He really minded.)

Sure, shopping was fun, but Haruka-chan only bought for herself and Oikawa felt more like a prisoner rather than a companion on their trips. She had a nice house and a cool bedroom with a comfy bed, but Oikawa longed to be outside, playing volleyball.

“Are you sure that we can’t play volleyball today?” asked Oikawa on the last day of summer vacation. They had been lazing around in her house for the last three days and Oikawa was going crazy. It didn’t help that he rarely saw Iwa-chan and his hands itched to toss the ball around with someone.

Haruka-chan sniffed. “If you really want to play you can just go ask Iwa-chan,” she sneered.

“But I can’t!” he explained again. “I haven’t seen her all summer!”

“It sounds like as though I’m your second plan,” Haruka-chan said, narrowing her eyes at him.

Oikawa shook his head. “You’re my first plan. But you never play with me and every single time that we go out it’s for shopping.” He sighed loudly. “It’s kind of boring, actually.”

Haruka-chan glared at him. “Are you saying that you’re unhappy with me?”

Yes, Oikawa wanted to say. I’d give you up to see Iwa-chan just for one day. Of course, he doesn’t say that out loud. What kind of boyfriend would do that? Instead, he smiled at her and says, “I’m allowed to complain a little, aren’t I?”

They don’t speak for the rest of the day but Oikawa doesn’t mind. All he can think about is finally being able see Iwa-chan again.

“You’re going to love what I did to her,” his sister said, grinning.

“We’ll see,” he replied.

The next day he finds himself checking himself out in the mirror. The summer uniform looked good on him, he already knew, but he would be seeing Iwa-chan’s transformation and wanted to look as good as possible. He thought back to what she said, about him being pretty, and a smirk crawled unto his lips. He checked himself one more time before heading out the door, a spring in his step.

As he neared the bus stop he saw Iwa-chan, her back to him. Somehow her hair is lying flat, which makes Oikawa uneasy. As he got closer he also noted that her skirt was shorter than usual. (Not that he actually knew that her skirt was usually three inches above her knee most of time, whatever would give you that idea?)

“Iwa-chan?” he asked, tapping her shoulder. She turned around and Oikawa is blown away by how different she looks.

It’s not a bad different, per say. It just doesn’t look anything like her.

Her face looked softer, the skin smoother. Her eyebrows were more defined as well and her eyes have the perfect length of winged eyeliner. With her hair straight she had an uneven bob but it looked cute on her. The only thing that gave away her discomfort was how hard she was biting her lip.

She was biting it so hard that Oikawa was sure it was going to bled. He wouldn’t mind kissing it better.

“Wow. You look-you look… different?”

She snorted before looking at the ground. “My face feels heavy,” she admitted, scuffing the ground. “It took a while to get the eyeliner right.”

“It sure does look like it,” Oikawa replied, tilting his head. “Are you-are you happy like this?”

“I dunno,” she said quietly, still not facing him. “I’ll find out, though. But for now, I’ll be able to blend in as a girl more.”

She didn’t have to do any blending in. All she needed to do was get away from all those that said she didn’t belong.

But Oikawa said nothing because this was what Iwa-chan wanted to do. If she started to doubt herself Oikawa would come in and sweep her off her feet and tell her about all the wonderful things she was.

He was surprised by all of the positive reception she got for her new look. Girls flocked to her, asking her how she had managed such a transformation. Iwa-chan looked extremely confused but talked beauty with the girls in her class. She traded secrets with them and showed them what products she used. A number of guys noticed too and started to hang around her too. They smiled and flirted, extending their arms for her.

“So you really are a girl!” They would say, laughing. “We should hang out! What’s your number?”

She seemed overwhelmed by the amount of attention she got and stuttered and stumbled over her words. The others chalked it up as an endearing trait of her’s but Oikawa knew better. Iwa-chan was at her best when she was strong and confident. When she had her chin up high, shoulders back, and a victorious smile on her face. That was when she was cutest.

“They don’t even know her,” Oikawa mumbled after a week of this happening. He sat slumped on his chair, chin on the desk and glared as yet another guy flirted with Iwa-chan. She looked so uncomfortable, the poor girl, that Oikawa wanted to stomp up to the boy and scare him off.

(“Don’t annoy me during school or insert yourself in my conversations,” Iwa-chan told him. “I can’t have you pissing me off when I’m trying to show that I’ve turned a new leaf.”)

“That’s how boys are like,” snapped Haruka-chan, standing in front of him and blocking his view of Iwa-chan. Oikawa pouted and looked up at her. “Why do you care so much anyways?”

“Because this isn’t who she is,” said Oikawa desperately. “If it was I wouldn’t care but this isn’t her and she’s obviously uncomfortable and nobody is liking her for who she is. They’re supposed to be this way after she shows what an amazing athlete she is or after she does well in an exam or when she’s being silly or-or-or-“

Haruka-chan narrowed her eyes at him. “You sound jealous.”

“She’s my best friend! I’m just worried!” he defended, but the explanation sounded hallow even to him. “If something happens she’ll either come straight to me or bottle it up and neither situation is good.”

“I bet you’re more worried about her than you are of me,” sniffed Haruka-chan. “Did you know that some boys hit on me yesterday? Bet you don’t even care about that.”

“Of course it bothers me,” replied Oikawa through gritted teeth. “I’m more upset at them and the reason why I don’t care about it that much is because I trust you.”

“Did you know that I kissed one of them?” she spat.

“Not until now,” Oikawa snapped back. He blinked. “Wait. You did what?”

“I kissed one of them,” she said bitterly. “Because you never kiss me and I thought maybe that would get your attention.”

“It sure as hell does,” he growled, standing up. “Shows me that you’re not loyal.”

“From the way you always hang around Iwaizumi-chan you’re the one that looks fucking unloyal!” she shrieked shrilly.

“I don’t fuck around with her though!” cried Oikawa. He rubbed his temples in hopes of stopping the impending migraine.

Haruka-chan stared at him, miffed. “You know what,” she said slowly. “I’ve had it with you. I’m breaking up with you. Good-bye, Oikawa Tooru.” She picked up her bag and marched out, flipping her hair over her shoulder as she left the room.

Oikawa should be feeling pretty bad about this. His first ever girlfriend just broke up with him and it was partially his fault. 

But all he felt was relief. Haruka-chan wasn’t worth it, then, if she couldn’t stand to hear him talk about Iwa-chan. Besides, it’s not like he even talked that much in their relationship. Overall the whole experience was very unsatisfying so it was probably for the best that they broke up. Maybe now they could both find someone who they were more compatible with. Also, now he could worry about Iwa-chan without sounding like he was jealous.

Which he wasn’t, not at all.

“I heard that Haruka-chan broke up with you,” said Iwa-chan on the bus ride home. She frowned at him and Oikawa suddenly had the urge to kiss her, just to taste what kind of lip gloss she was wearing. “I’m sorry.”

Oikawa shrugged. “It’s fine. I didn’t like her that much anyways. Plus, all she talked about was herself.” Oikawa scrunched up his nose. “Who even does that anyways?”

“You haven’t met yourself, have you?”

Oikawa flushed. “That is not true! That is a false accusation, Iwa-chan! You could go to hell in the Christian religion for saying that sort of stuff.”

She grinned. “Good thing I’m not Christian then, right?”

“I hate you,” Oikawa groaned as Iwa-chan cackled. The bus screeched to a stop and the two hopped off, Iwa-chan still laughing. She only stopped her howling when her phone vibrated. She wiped away her tears as she pulled it out of her bag. She unlocked her phone, scanned the message, and scowled.

“Ugh,” she said, stuffing it back in.

“Ugh?” Oikawa repeated, amused.

She waved a hand. “Just some dude trying to ask me out or something like that.”

For some odd reason Oikawa’s stomach twisted and he felt rage at whoever had just asked her out. Which was insane because that’s what jealous people do, and Oikawa was not jealous. “He only started to talk to you after you wore make-up, I’m guessing.”

“Yeah,” she said bitterly and suddenly Oikawa doesn’t feel so bad about hating the guy. Iwa-chan looked so fucking miserable with her head down and face pulled in a pained expression that all Oikawa wanted to do is wrap her up in a fuzzy blanket and give her hot chocolate. “I thought that being pretty would help me but…”

Oikawa abruptly stopped and spun around to face her. “You are pretty.”

Iwa-chan smiled at him nervously. “It’s the make-up, Oikawa, I’m not really-“

“I think that Iwa-chan looks better without it,” he blurted and Iwa-chan stumbled back and blinked. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “I was always against you wearing make-up. If it had been something that had drawn you in slowly or something like that I would have been okay with it but…” he trailed off and gulped before continuing. “I think that Iwa-chan is prettiest when is she confident. And make-up doesn’t give you that. Being yourself gives you that. So-so, don’t change yourself just because others think you should.”

Iwa-chan stared at him long and hard. Oikawa started to fidget when she said, voice welling up with emotion, “I-I-thank you, Oikawa. I really-I never thought-“ She shook her head. “You really are the best friend a person could ever have.” She slung an arm over Oikawa’s shoulder and he bent down to accommodate her. She looked as though the weight of the world have been lifted off her shoulders and was smiling brighter than Oikawa had seen for weeks.

The next day Oikawa sees Iwa-chan she is back to spiky hair and easy grins and his heart stopped beating for a moment as he took her in, glowing and full of spirit.

Yes, Iwa-chan was prettiest like this.

The make-up on her counter went untouched for the rest of the year.

---

Oikawa couldn’t think about Iwa-chan in the same way since the day he looked up her skirt.

Now, before you jump on him please keep in mind that Oikawa Tooru is not a pervert, not at all. This whole incident had not been intentional at all. Although, maybe now he would try to make it more intentional…

It really wasn’t his fault that he looked up her skirt. It was all on Iwa-chan. She knew the position they were in and did nothing about it. It was all her fault for setting off this reaction of teenage hormones that Oikawa had no way of controlling.

It was a peaceful spring day, a few weeks before school started up again. They laid in Iwa-chan’s bed, Oikawa’s head cushioned by her thigh. (He still had a thing for those legs and it was consistently getting worse and worse. Oikawa was sure that he would have to see a doctor if this continued.) His legs dangled off the bed and he swung them back forth, humming along to a catchy pop song he had listened to recently. Iwa-chan hated that genre so he knew that she was scowling. However, she said nothing about it because she knew from experience that complaining about it would only make the situation worse.

She had just come back from some family reunion so she was wearing formal clothing and her short hair was tamed. She was on her phone, playing some game that her cousin had shown her and she had quickly become obsessed with. Oikawa was reading a volleyball magazine, trying to pick up some new techniques that he could use. However the words swam off the page and the fact that Iwa-chan’s legs were right there did not help the situation at all.

He sighed and closed the magazine. He turned his face to talk to Iwa-chan, forgetting that he can’t see her face from where he was. Instead, he found himself staring at the small slip of spandex and the beautiful skin leading up to.

His mouth actually watered as his stared at it. He fought the urge to ask her to lift her skirt up a little so that he could see more. He had to physically restrain himself from sitting up and doing it himself. Oh man, he wanted to shove his face in between her legs and-

“Shittykawa, are you even listening to me?”

Oikawa snapped out of his fantasy and blinked wildly before blushing furiously. The hell was that? The fucking hell was that? How could he even think about Iwa-chan that way?

But the feeling didn’t go away. The urge to press his mouth on her legs didn’t leave. Nor did the other thoughts he was having and honestly he was a total train wreck and Oikawa could only pray that she didn’t notice.

“Are you looking up my skirt?” asked Iwa-chan, miffed. Oikawa’s surprised that she isn’t pissed.

“You have such boring spandex, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa drawled, hoping that his voice didn’t shake. “Black, really? And there are so many cute designs out there too."

She snorted and returned to her phone. “Why would I want different colored spandex? Black is just fine.”

Oikawa sat up and positioned himself so that laid beside Iwa-chan. He hooked his chin on her shoulder and threw an arm around her waist. She hummed as he snuggled in closer, breathing in her scent. Oikawa felt dizzy being so close to her, but it’s a good dizzy, one that he had never felt before. He wouldn’t mind feeling that like this constantly, actually.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?” she asked as she tapped away on her screen.

He yawned. “We broke up. I dumped her over text.”

“How chivalrous,” she muttered.

Oikawa sniffed. “She insulted Space Jam. That was a deal-breaker.”

Iwa-chan laughed, her whole body vibrating against him. He hoped that her movements were enough that they could both ignore how loudly Oikawa’s heart was pounding. It felt as though it were a prisoner, desperate for escape.

She calmed down after a while and moved so that Oikawa could see the game as well. But Oikawa wasn’t interested in that. He was much more interested in the player, who stuck her tongue out while she was concentrating. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she had the same steely gaze she had on the court when she was getting ready to spike. It was cute, really, that she got all worked up over a game.

You like her… a small voice whispered in his ear. You like her…

Oikawa doesn’t want to agree. She was his best friend, he couldn’t like her like that.

Right?

And even if he did he’d probably get over it quickly too.

Right?

---

Oikawa believes that if there ever were an award for The Best Human Being Alive Iwa-chan would win it, hands down.

For one day of kindness that Oikawa gives Iwa-chan, she gives him a year.

It’s unfair, really.

Oikawa liked to call his last year of Junior High the “How Much Can Iwa-chan Help Me Today?” year.

It all started when that upstart first-year Kageyama Tobio showed up. He had seemed cute and innocent at first, but Oikawa quickly grew to distrust him for one reason and one reason only.

Kageyama Tobio was a genius.

Oikawa Tooru was not.

Oikawa had always been aware of his disadvantage and he pushed himself above and beyond the average person because of this. But this Kageyama Tobio… he didn’t even have to try. He was just… he was just good, and that infuriated Oikawa. What made it worse was that he would come up to Oikawa and ask him for advice.

Him!

The nerve!

Oikawa came home on most days to complain about the kid. “Tobio-chan” this and “Tobio-chan” that. He would huff and whine and Iwa-chan would roll her eyes and punch him. She began to stop by after her practice to pick Oikawa up and to see if this “Tobio-chan” was the menace Oikawa claimed that he was.

Kageyama wasn’t but didn’t stop the insults spewing from Oikawa’s mouth. It also didn’t stop Oikawa from staying late in the gym, perfecting his serve. He hit the ball until his arms ached and his vision swam. Many nights Iwa-chan would burst in to see Oikawa on the verge of collapse but just one more, Iwa-chan, I swear this is the last one…

The younger kids would love it whenever she came by. They said she was hot and intimidating, and Oikawa wanted to agree. But he knew her so well that it was hard so associate those words with her. Even Kageyama liked her, much to Oikawa’s horror. Worst was that she would smile and laugh and indulge in his requests.

“You don’t have to be nice to him,” grumbled Oikawa.

“I do what I want,” she snapped.

The worst of it was the day he almost hit Kageyama. Oikawa didn’t mean it, he swears. He was just so done and fed up the kid that he literally couldn’t take it anymore and exploded.

Good thing that Iwa-chan was there to knock some sense into him.

(She still has the bruise from where her head connected with his nose, he thinks.)

Outside of volleyball she was still his saving grace. School got harder and the impending high school exams made the stress worse. Oikawa would spend nights staring at his paper, afraid and uncertain because he just doesn’t understand, mom, please help.

Iwa-chan would sneak into his house in the middle of the night and pull him out of his slumps. They’d lay in his bed, just like when they were kids, and she would rock him to sleep. If the time allowed she would help him with his work, help him understand. More than once Oikawa woke up to Iwa-chan slumped next to him, drooling in her sleep. He would smile to himself and gaze at her for a little while, something warm spreading through his body.

It might be love, he’s not sure. He tried not to think about it too much.

Speaking of love, Oikawa went through girlfriends at an alarming speed during this time. Iwa-chan would huff again and again as Oikawa would go off about how wonderful and cute his new girlfriend was. Sometimes her eyes would get dark but Oikawa’s sure that it was just because he was annoying her.

Sometimes he broke up them, sometimes they broke up with him. There was no real pattern. The only constant was that the night of the break-up that Iwa-chan would be there, holding him in her strong arms.

He only cried over a girl once. Her name was Asuka and she never told him her last name. She smelled like cinnamon and hope and her smile could light up any room. She was a year younger than Oikawa, but he didn’t mind the age difference and neither did she. For the time that they were together Oikawa could almost forget whatever he felt towards Iwa-chan, the strange stirring in his heart and the flutter in his stomach.

But then she broke up with him. Told him that she had found someone better.

“I’m sorry, Tooru-kun,” she sobbed. “But I can’t be unfair to you.” And she sprinted away, so far away that Oikawa could not reach her.

Oh man, did Iwa-chan have a blast that night. Oikawa cried so hard that snot came out and Iwa-chan never wore that shirt ever again because she thought that it was infected. She held him tight, no words coming out of her mouth. Oikawa didn’t need them anyways; just having her by his side was enough. She stayed with him until morning and slipped out at dawn to her own house. When Oikawa woke up the bed was cold and on his drawer was a sticky note.

You’re an ugly crier.

Love,

Iwa-chan

Next to it was a glass water and some tissues.

Oikawa cried some more because he really did have the best friend in the whole wide world.

Oikawa took two exams for high school. One for Aoba Josai and the other for Shiratorizawa. He already had a volleyball scholarship to Aoba Josai, but the test was necessary to put him in classes. He only tried out for Shiratorizawa for kicks. He did get in though and he did think about going…but then Ushijima Wakatoshi came into the picture and Oikawa decided for Aoba Josai hands down.

Oikawa was sure that the only person that could grate his nerves the way Kageyama did was Ushijima and unlike Kageyama where  Iwa-chan regulated him there was no one on the court that would control him whenever Ushijima popped his ugly face on the other side of the net. Coach threatened to put him on the bench if he made a face one more time.

And He was benched once. Benched and replaced by Kageyama but that was such a horrible memory that Oikawa preferred to not bring it up.

The season ended with a loss to Ushijima and Oikawa cried at the ceremony. It was ugly and he knows it, but he couldn’t help it. In the stands he could see the girl’s volleyball team, with Iwa-chan smack dab in the middle of them, rolling her eyes at him. Kageyama offered him a tissue. Oikawa went nuts and then snatched the tissue out of Kageyama’s hand. He could literally hear Iwa-chan sigh in exasperation.

The walk back home was uneventful except for one thing.

They usually took the bus but decided that they would go and grab something to eat. So Iwa-chan and Oikawa walked to the nearest convenience store and purchased some ice cream. They licked their dessert on the way home, chattering softly about the awards ceremony.

“I wish you were on my team,” sighed Oikawa. “We would have done great if we had.”

“Are you saying that you would rather I be a boy?” Iwa-chan quipped, licking some of the melting ice cream that was running through her fingers. Oikawa felt something in his stomach stir and found himself staring at her tongue a little too intensely.

“No, I’d just wish you were on my team. Doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or girl.”

And Oikawa finds himself totally agreeing with himself. It didn’t really matter her gender or sex. So long as she was there, next to him, somehow, he would be fine.

And that’s when he realized how deeply in love he was with his best friend.

He choked on his ice cream when the realization hit him. Iwa-chan glanced over at him, concerned, and Oikawa waved her off.

Of course he loved her. What a goddamn idiot he was. All these thoughts, these feelings bubbling up inside of him. This longing for her and only her. No wonder no other girl could compare to her! She had already stolen his heart years ago.

The rest of the way home is a blur to him but he remembered dropping her off at her house and leaning in, close enough to kiss. But he didn’t do it and found himself alone on her porch, questioning his life choices.

When Oikawa went to bed that night and he hugged his pillow, wishing that it was her, there was only on thought running through his mind.

I’m so fucked,.