Chapter Text
Prom was coming up in approximately five weeks and Ranboo was still without a date. They’d expected at least some monster to take interest in them, but nope. No one thought that they were particularly charming or worthy of spending prom with, so they needed to take things into their own hands, obviously.
“It’s just a matter of who,” Ranboo explained to Tubbo, who was sitting on the bleachers right next to them. The two of them were watching as most of their gym class participated in a dramatic game of dodgeball, complete with actual bows and arrows (a development that Coach found absolutely delightful).
“Not really,” Tubbo muttered. His eyes tracked one of their classmates and Ranboo ignored it for now; it was their turn to ask about romantic advice, not Tubbo’s. “You also have to actually woo them. Like, make an effort and shit.”
There was a shout of terror and a flaming dodgeball hit a were-cat in the head. Surely this game had to be breaking some rules, right? No way this wouldn’t result in at least one lawsuit.
“That’s too much, though.”
“You want a date to prom, right?”
“Duh.”
“Then you have to try.”
Ranboo stretched out, successfully taking up multiple rows of the bleachers. No one else usually sat up here because, surprisingly, most other students were fans of PE and actually participated, so every spot was free game.
They bit at their cheek, drawing a few beads of blood. “I’ll put in some effort. I guess.”
Tubbo snorted the same time Coach blew his whistle, signaling for everyone to head to the changing rooms. “You’ll find someone,” Tubbo said reassuringly as he stood up, dusting off the back of his jeans. Ranboo was quick to follow and the two of them made their way down the bleachers, ready to go along with the rest of the school day.
“You need to focus all your energy into one place,” Aimsey advised, leaning into Ranboo’s side. “Trying to romance a lot of different people will leave you a, spread thin, and b, looking like an asshole unless you’re going for polyamory, which if you are, I support you.”
Bill laughed and Ranboo didn’t even need to hear what he had to say next to roll their eyes. “Ranboo’s gone single for eighteen years with no bitches-”
“I was focused on school,” Ranboo muttered helplessly. Aimsey quietly laughed from her spot next to them, shoulders bumping into Ranboo uncomfortably.
“-and you expect ‘em to get more than one?”
“They could do it,” Freddie said, face scrunched in sympathy. “They’re probably someone’s type.”
Ranboo ignored their friends, for their sanity, and bit into their sandwich. Being able to sit next to and talk to them all during lunch was a stroke of luck, but at times like these Ranboo wished their schedules separated them at least a little.
Much like Ranboo, Aimsey opted to ignore both Bill and Freddie's unhelpful and quite frankly insulting additions. He kept up the whole ‘trying to be helpful’ schtick and Ranboo was so thankful for them. Only she and Tubbo actually helped when it came to crises.
“Anyways-” They sent a pointed glare to Bill and Freddie, the both of them not at all affected. “-One person. If it doesn’t work out with them, move on. It might be a bad idea to move on because the next person might not want to go with you because they’ll think they’re just the last case scenario, so. Hope the first person works out.”
“But who?” Tubbo asked, perfectly voicing the exact question that had been swimming in Ranboo’s head all week.
There were just so many people at school, so many that Ranboo could look at and think ‘yeah, i’d go to prom with them.’ They were sure that they couldn’t pick out just one person out of the crowds that plagued the school. Too many options and too many people that would reject Ranboo at first sight.
Bill hummed thoughtfully, eyes squinting as he went through the list of students he knew. “What about Dream?”
“Definitely out of my league,” Ranboo answered without a second thought. Dream was fairly popular around school, known mostly for his success in track and wrestling. He was in Ranboo’s drama class and they’d spoken to him a few times whenever he needed help adjusting his costume (‘You sew yourself up all the time; you can sew fabric’). He was a good person and decently attractive, no doubt about it, but way too cool for Ranboo.
“You could probably pull him,” Freddie commented, head resting on his hand. He was just lying straight to Ranboo’s face because no way in Hell would Dream even consider them romantically. It was impossible and Ranboo knew that.
“Don’t give them false hope,” Tubbo muttered and Aimsey kicked his shin under the table with a playfully angry “shush.”
“What about Sapnap?” Bill tried again.
Ranboo rolled their eyes. “No one from that group, dude, that would be humiliating.”
Bill groaned, throwing his head back in annoyance. That one little ‘rule’ took out a considerable amount of candidates that already knew of Ranboo’s existence.
“Technoblade?” Aimsey’s idea was accompanied by a jab in the side and a glance towards the were-pig in question. Techno was sat at his usual table, a textbook and notebook in front of him as he hastily wrote something down. He looked as regal and put together as he always did, much more composed than Ranboo could ever hope to be. Definitely out of their league.
“What?” Tubbo and Freddie asked in unison, twin looks of confusion on their faces. With the way Tubbo’s jaw opened, it looked like it would dislocate and fall right off. Freddie had managed to turn paler in his shock, already weak complexion looking even weaker.
“It’s a viable option because Techno is okay with Ranboo-”
“He is?” Freddie not so subtly looked between Ranboo and Techno, head swiveling between the two with a stupid amount of urgency.
“Since when?” Bill asked. Unlike Freddie and Tubbo, he didn’t look too scandalized by the news and took it in stride.
“Uh, I actually don’t know. Ran?”
Ranboo roughly remembered it being a couple of years ago, when the two ended up paired for a creative writing project. It was a bit of a weird one, but the two of them got along well enough and were on the same wavelength. They got a 98 on the project and since then, Techno was friendly-ish with Ranboo. He’d nod to them in hallways, sit next to them if they shared a class when he didn’t know anyone else, and he occasionally went to them for help with writing.
“Like sophomore year,” Ranboo said, resigned. “He’s definitely not an option.”
Tubbo shook his head disapprovingly as Aimsey sighed in defeat. “How cool would it be if you were dating Technoblade? You can’t just give up that chance when he’s cool with you!”
“Plus he’s hot,” Bill added with an exaggerated eyebrow wiggle.
“And too cool for me."
The table burst into a series of sighs and frustrated groans, a mix of disappointment and annoyance on all of their friends' faces. It was understandable, Ranboo guessed, but what did they expect? For them to just immediately agree to pursue some of the coolest people in their grade? Yeah, no, they weren’t that stupid.
“You’re hopeless,” Aimsey murmured, barely audible over the constant noise of the cafeteria. “Totally hopeless.”
“What about that one wizard guy, huh?” Freddie asked. “Transferred last year, nearly tore your hand off, burned down part of the forest?”
“Tommy?”
Freddie nodded enthusiastically, happy that someone was getting his train of thought. “Yeah, Tommy. He’s not cool, probably a nerd because all wizards are nerds, and definitely not too cool for you.”
Ranboo breathed out through their noise, finding themself looking at the aforementioned wizard. He was sitting at the edge of a table, talking excitedly to Eryn (a demon that used to be in their history class). They hadn’t interacted much since the transfer, other than the incident mentioned by Freddie. Their circles never really crossed and Ranboo had never regretted it until now. Knowing something about him outside of ‘he nearly cost me a new hand’ would’ve been helpful. Because of his status as a wizard that meant that he was a human and much less eccentric in appearance than other students. Even so, Ranboo thought that he had nice eyes and a good smile, a lot nicer to look at than some other folks. Hm. Hmmm.
Yeah, they could see themself taking him to prom.
“He’s cute,” Ranboo admitted after a while of staring and admiring.
Bill cheered at the admission, drawing attention from those sitting near him. He did not care about the extra attention, though, nearly leaping across the table to pull Ranboo into a hug. “Our little Boo is finally going to get some bitches,” he said, playing up faux tears.
“It’s just for prom,” Tubbo commented, pointing his fork accusingly at Bill. He was one of the only people actually eating his lunch, nearly done with the indistinguishable meat he ate for basically every meal.
Aimsey huffed and Ranboo tried to wrestle out of Bill’s hold just to catch her rolling her eyes at Tubbo. “If things go well, they might stay together afterwards. Be optimistic here, okay? Ran’s the last of us to have a relationship-”
“Literally shut up,” Ranboo said at the same time that Bill said “They grow up so fast! Freddie, get me a tissue!”
“-We have to be supportive,” Aimsey finished with a nod.
Tubbo ignored them to instead look Ranboo right in the eyes. “If things don’t work out, don’t beat yourself up over it, okay?”
“Um.”
“Okay?” Tubbo repeated with a lot more intensity, eyes serious in a way they rarely are.
“Okay.”
After the whole ordeal of ‘who is Ranboo going to romance for prom?’ was settled, conversation continued like it always did. Bill complained about someone else kicking him out of the bathroom, Freddie admitted that it was him that kicked him out, and Tubbo took the chance to laugh at the both of them. Aimsey went on a tirade about a pretty mermaid she met at the theater and everyone took the opportunity to tease them until he eventually buried his face in his hands. A standard, normal lunch.
Ranboo chanced another glance at Tommy only to catch him looking back. They stared, for a second, in surprise as Tommy looked at his lunch table with reddening cheeks.
Huh.