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Three years. Eleven months. Twenty-nine days. Fourteen hours.
It was like time had moved a little too fast and then stopped so everyone could see them.
After all this time, Angie still found herself in awe every time she saw Hazel, just like she did for the first time when she watched her entering the Villa with her red swimsuit and blowing the boys away with her pretty face, curvy hips and sweet voice, dripping like honey. Looking back now it was so obvious where they would end up together; even so, it took some long time coming.
Back then, Angie couldn’t put a finger on what exactly was the feeling. It was something like nervousness, a thing she had little experience with by itself. But then, little by little, the puzzle started to make sense. The butterflies coming alive, the jealousy that would build in whenever she heard Hazel laughing at a stupid joke from any of the boys, the trust she had in her. Love. Purely, magically, utterly love.
By now, Hazel had become her favourite thing to look at. She knew all of her mannerisms: the way her eyes glistened when she was excited; how she used jokes to deflect; the way she twirled her hair when she was nervous; how her lips quivered just a little when Angie left her with a passionate kiss; the sighs and moans that would escape her if Angie just touched her in her favourite spot; how she would melt in her embrace every single night; how she would scrunch her nose when she was uncomfortable, or mad; the sound that her nails made against the marble countertop when she was feeling anxious. All those little things that just a person completely in love would notice. Angie knew them all.
They had found a place to live together after a year of dating. Hazel kept saying how nice it was to have a space to call their own and how happy she was when Angie accepted the request. Of course, Angie couldn't tell her the truth—how she missed her sisters, how she was scared of Hazel deciding to break things off when she saw the real world, twenty-four hours grumpy Angie in the flash. That was not the Villa, Angie knew that, and getting a flat together could be the end of their happily ever after. But, where Angie had thought that she had a flaw, Hazel had seen another reason to love her.
" But I'm so grumpy in the mornings ," Angie had told her. Hazel only shook her head and smiled at her, those beautiful big eyes watching her with nothing but pure love. " You look cute when you are mad ," she said at least, offering her a cup of coffee.
Loving Hazel was like an explosion of feelings. Their love was made of summer breeze, honeybees, ocean waves crashing on the sand, sunlight and so much devotion. It was different from everything Angie had experienced in her life. It was a kiss in the temper, a hand squeeze in the taxi, a giggle of happiness while they were singing in the car, an afternoon of Disney movies, a dinner date just because they had the time, a little text between shifts, a selfie to send to her sisters, a pillow fight that ended in kisses, an old t-shirt of her that Hazel was attached.
Angie couldn't believe that a woman so full of life, so beautiful, so… breathtaking, wanted to be with her. In every way that Angie missed, Hazel completed her. They had found a pattern, a pace, a way of function that was theirs and theirs only. Not only in bed, where they moved like their bodies were an extension of each other but also in life. The way they made schedules, plans and just the day-to-day mundane tasks together had a trace of movements that belonged to them. It was almost natural as if they were doing exactly what they should be doing. Like the universe had made Angie just for Hazel and vice versa.
Every time they fought, Angie felt like her heart was ripped out of her chest. She would feel stupid, so small like she was breaking the thing she loved the most. But then, they would talk, and how Hazel was good at making everything all right again. They would kiss, they would lay down and look out for each other.
And she could hear it when there was nothing else to be heard. She could feel it when she was lost. She could see it when there was nothing but darkness. She was in completely taken by love. True love. Like she had never felt before.
Putting these feelings in words was the hardest part of all. She could try her whole life trying but she would never be able to truly express what she felt; the moment when you lose your mind, decides to skinny deep, letting go of fears and ghosts from the past. They would promise each other to be enough, to love unlimitedly over and over again, and god, she kept her promise. 'Love' was too simple, too little to describe this overwhelming feeling that took Angie completely.
And although love was something she was so scared of, maybe this time it was ok. Maybe because it was Hazel, her best friend and lover. Maybe because the skeletons in her closet were too far away to spook her. Maybe because it was the first time she had ever felt it so strongly. Maybe because their hands fitted so good together. And maybe it didn’t matter why.
She just wanted to make it forever.
“Where are we going?” Hazel asked as Angie guided her with hands over her eyes.
She was wearing one of her flower-patterned skirts with a side slit, green coloured this time, with a white crop top, leaving a really small portion of her stomach bare. Angie had told her they would walk for a little, so she decided to go with one of her sneakers, matching Angie's own pair.
“It’s a surprise,” Angie said, feeling the smile playing on her lips.
Hazel giggled again.
It was in the middle of July. The salty air passed by them like the times they used to hang out by the pool in Mallorca, a light breeze of summer blowing their hair. Hazel’s hair was a little bit longer now, touching her shoulders. Her eyes, oh-so-sweet, twinkled in a hazel colour that gave life to her freckled face. Angie could feel her heartbeat going nuts inside her chest like the first time she confessed her feelings. Again, her life and heart were Hazel’s to keep or crush but now, Angie was sure.
“Here,” Angie whispered, uncovering Hazel’s eyes.
Her eyes widened when she saw where they were. It was the highest spot in the city, where the two of them could watch the sunset and the city lights come alive. The smile on Hazel’s lips and the sparkle in her eyes told Angie everything she needed to know, there was the moment. With shaken hands, while Hazel was distracted by the lights, Angie grabbed the little ring inside the front pocket of her denim jacket and, lifting her jeans a little, she kneeled in front of Hazel.
“Oh, my god!” Hazel gasped as soon as she saw what Angie was doing. “Angie.”
“You know, for a long time I thought that maybe love was not my thing…” Angie giggled as Hazel’s face melted into the most adorable face she had ever seen. “I thought that perhaps I was too grumpy or my job was too time-consuming. That I needed to bend over backwards and change myself so I could be loved. That’s why I tried Love Island…”
“Angie…”
“And then, you showed up and wow. You know? There was love in a way that I had never experienced before. Pure love, without the buts, ors and ands. You loved me for who I am, grumpy, busy, tough… And I love you so much, Hazel, I can’t even put it into words. I just love you more than I can comprehend. And I want to keep doing it. Forever. Non-stop. So, would you make me the happiest person alive and marry me?”
Angie was crying. The emotions taking over her and making her explode into non-stop cascades of tears. Hazel's eyes glistened, some tears rolling as she clasped her mouth with her hand and the wind made her curly hair flutter. She bit down a smile, pursing her lips, nodding furiously. “Fuck yes," she managed to say.
“Yeah?” Angie asked, a little too stunned by the answer; her heart beating so fast that she thought she could die, exploding with happiness.
“Of course, Angie,” Hazel wiped her tears and giggled, still unable to make a movement. “I would marry right now if you had brought the priest.”
“Fuck,” Angie chuckled, standing again and slipping the ring on Hazel's finger. “I haven’t thought of that!”
Hazel beamed at her, circling Angie’s neck with her arms as she got closer. “We can stop by the church on the way home,” she whispered.
“I love you so much,” Angie said between kisses all over her face, neck, and forehead, making her fiancée giggle.
What a beautiful word. Fiancée. My fiancée. My future wife.
“I love you more,” Hazel answered, resting her forehead against Angie’s.
“No, you don’t.”
“Yeah, I do”
“You don’t”
“Do too.”
Hazel giggled, making Angie take her by the mouth, sealing their lips in a full, long, passionate and loveful kiss. All of her senses, body, mind and soul were focused on the taste of Hazel’s lips, the way their tongues explored each other, and how her fingertips sent shocks through Angie’s body.
It was like the world had moved fast and then stopped so it could see them.