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Dean was jealous. He didnt really get it, honestly. But Jack was taking everything from him; it wasnt really his fault, he knew, but it was still happening and he didnt like it.
Sam barely said good morning to him. No more quips about his beer or his laundry or his food choices. It was always Jack. Jack, Jack and more Jack.
He thought, maybe, Sam would mention the mothers day gift. Get angry, accuse Dean of making fun of her. But she didnt. She gave him a smile the morning after and never mentioned it.
Jack had gotten all... all this praise for making a cake. One cake! And Cas had probably done most of it.
Chastising himself for poking fun at a toddler, a baby, even, he rolled over onto his stomach in bed. The bunker was cold and dark, early hours of the morning. His foot was exposed and he kicked the blankets to cover it, noting the twinge in his bladder.
He huffed and sat up, jealously once again creeping up his throat. Jack never had to do any of this bullshit, creeping to the toilet in the freezing of the night.
Jack didnt have the best toileting habits, and Sam was so soft when he didnt quite make it. She cuddled him close, cleaned him up, and then cleaned up the mess.
Dean half wondered what that felt like. He didnt remember his mom comforting him after accidents, and John wasnt the type of man one would call "comforting". He stayed sitting, hips shifting.
Jack sometimes wore diapers, too. Dean didnt know why, really, but he guessed it was something they decided privately, before getting up. He found himself thinking about diapers, too. He didnt remember much about them, though. Only very little from Lisas friend.
He went to the bathroom before curling back up in bed, eventually falling into a fitful sleep.
The morning came and Jack was running around pantsless, Cas trying and failing to spoon feed him eggs. Sam smiled good morning, handing Dean a coffee, before joining her... partner?
Dean would have to ask about that one.
Anyway, she was as gone as she came, and Dean was once again left on his own. He heard Jack scream-laugh and that jealousy peaked again, bubbling deep in his chest as he heard Sam laugh after him.
He left without eating, telling Cas he was going for pancakes instead.
He drove for a while before grabbing something to eat, embarrassed to note his eyes blurring. What was the jealousy even for? Sam hadn't changed that much! Just a little less attention on him, but thats fine. It was mostly his own fault, anyway.
He wiped his face, ate his pancakes, ignoring the sympathetic look from the waitress and left, forgoing the bathroom. Again.
He felt the nudge, deep in his gut. He knew he'd make it back without any issue, so ge paid no mind. It wasnt even uncomfortable.
But then his mind started wandering again. Sam was always attentive and sweet to Jack when he had accidents.
But Jack was her son. He seethed at that, but once again, he wasn't mad at Jack. He didn't know how to deal with these... these feelings.
Still, Sam wouldnt comfort her brother the same way she would Jack, would she?
Would she?
Dean pulled into a coffee shop, intent on buying their grossly overpriced coffee, plan at the back of his mind. If he played it right he'd manage it, it wouldnt be weird. Well, too weird. He'd be humiliated, thats for sure.
He orders his coffee and waits for it, licking his bottom lip with the anxiety, eyeing the bathroom door. He grabbed his coffee and left, head down.
He drank it as fast as he could manage, feeling it hit his bladder as fast as it'd gone in.
Dean had never had a steel bladder, he just didnt hydrate well. Sam had always got on at him about it, but he was never the one desperate for the toilet, which he counted as a win. Well, until today, that is.
He drove for an hour more, deciding to head home as he started squirming. That usually meant he was getting close to gone, and he didnt want to be on the road during that time.
The anxiety and fear made ot feel ten times worse, he was sure, as he trembled in his seat, finally pulling her into park. Standing quickly was a bad idea,
He tensed as he lost a spurt, head roaring with all the ways this could go wrong as he shuffled in. He hadnt even thought about half of the things he was suddenly very aware of. What if Sam was in a completely seperate part of the bunker, nowhere near him?
He tried to ignore it, stiff, one hand discreetly grabbing himself, as he walked in. He made his way down the steps, eye out for Sam, spotting her just through the doorway, a but down the hall. So, not perfect, but close enough.
He finished his descent, stepping just into the walkway as he heard Castiel yell something, Sam shooting in as Jack ran full force into Deans back, knocking him forward.
Everything stilled as he fell, both hands darting out in front of him. He hit the ground with both knees and his chest, arms saving his face, mostly.
He didnt even register any pain as he registered the warmth spreading. It took him a few seconds after that to sit up onto his knees and hopelessly grab at himself, in full view.
Despite himself his eyes blurred again, flinching away as Sam laid her hand on his shoulder.
"Dean?"
"That wasnt supposed to happen," He rushes, "I didnt mean..."
"I know," She assured, Castiel removing Jack from the area, "Do you want to go to the bathroom?"
"I dont..." His voice died, blinking rapidly,
"To shower?" She added, "Come on. You need to clean your face up, too. Got a bloody chin," She snorts, grabbing his wrist as he lifts his hand to feel at his chin, "Dont get pee in your cut."
He nods, "Right. Yeah. Um," What was he supposed to do now?
"Come on, bathroom," Sam reminded, patting his shoulder. Dean finally got to his feet, jeans shifting uncomfortably against him.
He stood for a second, taking everything in.
Sam took it upon herself, then, to guide him through the bunker to the showers, slightly concerned with his muted behaviour. Her Dean wouldnt of just... stood there. She was surpised he didnt lash out at Jack, really.
Thankfully he did climb in the shower himself, but she was hesitant to leave, just in case something was wrong.
"What happened?" She starts, leaning against the wall.
"I thought I was supposed to be the oblivious one," He replied, sarcastic.
"Oblivious of your bodily needs?" She winced at her tone, noting the harsh nature.
"I would of... if Jack didnt run into me I'd of gotten to the bathroom," Dean explained, ignoring the voice in the back of his head telling him he wouldn't have.
"You'd piss on the side of the road before you got that desperate," Sam countered, "You are always on top of toilet breaks when we're on the road."
"I got distracted. Can you leave it?" He snapped, dropping his washcloth with a splat. This wasn't going how he planned.
"No. Because you dont get distracted." She reminded, "Whats wrong, Dean? I know there's something up,"
He sighed, cutting off the spray, "Will you pass my towel?"
"Will you talk to me if I say yes?"
He's silent for a minute, maybe two, before grunting the affirmative. No way was he walking past her in the nude.
She passed his towel through the curtain, following him to his room, "I'll turn my back," She did so, "Talk."
"I just," He licked his lips, clearing his throat, "Jack's important to you, right?"
"Dean," She started, "You aren't-"
"Do you want me to talk or not?" He cut her off, "Let me finish."
She silenced herself, lips pursed.
"He's important to you. Takes up a lot o your time. And I get it, right? I remember when you were a toddler. You were hell on chubby legs for dad and I. Kids are work."
He shucks on his boxers, "But... but I get," He stills again, "Jealous. I think."
"Dean," She sighed, "What does this have to do with you... your incident?"
"I'm getting there," He grumbled, "Anyway. Didnt wanna make it your problem. But it got bad. Like... like I started hating Cas, even. Because I felt bad, hating Jack, 'cause he's just a kid."
She gave a soft smile.
"But then I felt bad hating Cas, too, cause he's my best friend, right? And obviously you love him, in whatever way you do," He sat back on his bed, "And I... I tried to come up with an idea. A way to make you care about me again. Care more,"
"And that idea was what? Pissing yourself?"
"Basically." He shrugged face flushed, "When... when Jack wets himself you're all cuddly with him. Like he's the center of everything. So I thought if I had," His voice died in his throat.
"An accident?" Sam supplies, and Dean hums,
"Yeah. If I had one, you'd think I need you, too. You'd pay more attention to me. But it didnt work. Which makes sense, really."
She finally turns around then, realising he's not changing anymore, "Yeah, it does," She smiles, moving to sit by him, "I treat Jack like that because he's a baby. I wouldnt react to you having an accident the same way,"
His face burns at that, not looking at her.
"Dean, if you need my attention, just tell me. You dont have to pretend to need me,"
"I do need you," He rushes, head snapping up.
"Then tell me," She sounds exasperated, "You're allowed to need people just because. You dont need a reason,"
He nods again, "Are you gonna tell Cas?"
"Probably," She answers, honest, "But only to let him know he needs to take Jack out more. We'll make a night of it, alright? You and me. Maybe after Jack's gone to bed?" She offers,
"Tonight?"
"If you want," She nods, "No more wetting yourself for attention."
"I did not wet myself for attention," He exclaims, embarrassed.
"Sure you didnt. Let me go talk to Cas, alright?"
He nods her goodbye, his jealousy lessening in his chest. Honestly, it was a stupid idea. Mistakes were made.