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The way she touches him excites him. She's crafty with her hands and all her delicate touches seem to cause Albedo to gasp each and every time. Predictable or not, Albedo’s eager. It's evident. The way he latches onto Eula's head, his arms swinging around her shoulders so enthusiastically. There's a first time for everything, and this is Albedo's first.
It's the first time he's engaged in such an activity, the first time he's been so impatient.
Regardless of his prior experience, Eula is in much similar of a predicament. It's her first time also. It's her first time allowing herself to hold someone so dearly, in such an elevated manner. It's the first time she's been so selfish as to keep anyone this close, because everyone that she's held this close before hasn't been the same. This time, it's Eula's choice. She chooses him, not because she has to, but because she wants to.
When Eula's hovered over him like this, all Albedo can do when their lips part is stare, exhilarated and desperate. He believes he's at his most vulnerable, because he is. Eula notices that all too well and plans to, in the most tender way possible, take advantage of that.
It only takes a short moment of their lips being separated to rile Albedo up again. He knows he's cornered, curled up and electrified under her body. She's on all fours, hung over him as Albedo practically cowers in anticipated exhilaration beneath her. Eula has always had that look, where her cheeks puff out slightly, just enough to give them an impeccable softness that urges Albedo to hold them with his own two bare hands. He wants to tell her with words how much he really admires her, how much love there is inside him and it's all for her.
Her eyes are lit, akin to lights with the freshest of fuses, giving Albedo yet another helping hand in guidance. Her starlit eyes speak to him in the most reassuring of ways, assuring him that he'll be okay. He is safe. Her eyes twinkle while they crease in her ever-loving endearing smile, her hand on his cheek makes Albedo feel heavily weightless. The power she has over him as her thumb smooths the roundness of his cheek is almost impressive. Eula seems to be able to multitask and however she does so seems complicated.
She's guided him all the way here. Albedo has become wiser, learning information he never searched for. From teaching him how to care deeply and, not just express it, but how to accept it - to allowing himself to succumb to his weaknesses which he may have previously identified as flaws. So now, here Albedo is, wiser than ever before from the guidance of a woman he's grown far too fond of. This attachment is daunting, but Albedo knows he's not alone. Eula has allowed herself the same and so it's only right that he too should give into his selfish desires. He should accept that loving her is not luck, it's not by chance, because such a connection doesn't simply come by chance. It's fate that he feels such a way and he's thankful that fate has chosen such a fulfilling path.
She won't ever truly be able to understand how much she means to him, that is something Albedo is certain in. No accumulation of words could assemble in such a way to even come close to expressing his true admiration and desire to keep her close.
Albedo's never been one for words of sentiment, so instead, he offers her his time. He offers her his touch. He offer her thoughtful gifts and even when she smiles so thankfully, Albedo knows it's never enough.
It never comes close to what he wishes he could give her.
Eula holding him like she always does, which such care and tenacity; it reminds him that she loves him. She desires the same, although Albedo doubts it could ever compare to his extent.
She surprises him, kissing his jawline with a softness Albedo feels not even he can replicate. Her hands are special and nothing comes close to them. He knows Eula catches him off guard far top often, which now has inspired him to do the same. He squeezes, at first, his lifeline depending on how desperately he grabbed her head. He wishes it was a decision to moan as loud as he did, yet, its not. It's uncontrollable, which matches his desire, unleashed.
Albedo couldn't imagine something so perfect.
It felt like not too long ago, Albedo kept himself to himself, not bothering a soul and simply getting by. Albedo was content by himself. Eula was the same. She spent her time proving herself, but in silence. The two never would dare to brag of their accomplishments, preferring to show their abilities rather than communicate them. The same applied when they were intimate. Eula didn't need to entice Albedo with fancy words or sly gimmicks, because he was already ready and waiting. Albedo was hers for the taking; such an opportunity could not be wasted.
Albedo squirms and whines, he squeezes and squishes, cowers and cries until he can't no more. He's somehow already breathless - yet all she's done is touch him. Albedo's gone far too long without experiencing such intimacy, it's made him sensitive and fragile. He knows this, but he trusts her. In moments like these, he's thankful that he does.
"You seem-", Eula let's out a heavy breath vehemently, Albedo's eyes half lidded and already drowsy, "Tired-"
Albedo shakes his head, albeit weak, he remains animated, "No," He denies simply, "Please," He begs, the tension in his fingers tightening, "Please...Continue…"
Eula can only take his pleas for more as a sign that he's fit to do so, her head pulling back in order to admire her work. She can see he's spent, in the most gorgeous way possible, he looks delectable. His jaw, neck and shoulders scattered in carefully crafted, soaked love bites. She wants to finish her work, but she can't, not until he's undressed. How they've managed to remain clothed this long, it's a mystery to both of them.
Albedo jumps at the motion, being as he's on a lusty high, feeling Eula's hand slide up his leg excites him. So, when it moves around to his thigh, his body practically trembles, intoxicated by her addictive touch. It only takes a second for Eula to pause, her hand planted on Albedo's crotch. The moment that had previously been cluttered with belated breaths and intense motions had now been replaced by an energy that was unmistakably awkward. Potentially exasperated even, although Albedo couldn't tell.
"What's wrong?", Albedo questioned in a hushed tone. He wondered why there was such a hold up. She'd previously been all over him, kissing and holding him like she couldn't do otherwise, as if she couldn't stop herself. Now it seemed like she could barely function.
He wondered if he had done something wrong. He was new to this, after all. Perhaps he'd done something undesirable or offensive and simply didn't know due to lack of knowledge.
"I'm sorry if I've done anything to ruin the mood," Albedo apologised sincerely, Eula lifting her head to stare at him blankly. He couldn't read that expression, but he was nervous. He couldn't understand her face, but the atmosphere spoke for itself.
"Ah-", Eula brushes her hair back, shaking her head and feeling her face heat up with embarrassment, "I just- Didn't expect that-"
Albedo tenses, his arms unwrapping themselves from her shoulders. His adrenaline rush seemed to have died down, causing his energy to drop. As much as he wanted to hold onto Eula with a strength so impregnable, he could no longer do so.
"I don't understand," Albedo states truthfully, because he doesn't. He truly has no idea what she's referring to.
Eula wants to dismiss it. It's embarrassing. Although, she's perplexed as to why Albedo kept this hidden from her until he essentially couldn't no more. Perhaps he planned on her never finding out but, surely, he would have realised that being in this situation, such a discovery was inevitable.
"I'm sorry, it's nothing," Eula whispers, her hand pressing firmly onto his crotch. She wonders if she's incorrect in her judgement. Albedo isn't one to lie. Why would he, especially in such a situation?
"You seem-", Albedo twitches, his hands flocking to her shoulders when she touches him again, "Ah- Eula-", He moans mid sentence, shaking his head.
"You want to stop?", Eula gives him a soft look, which makes Albedo want to tell her 'no'. His entire body begs her to continue, yet his mouth comes out with otherwise.
"Ah...For a moment. Just-", Albedo’s hands tense, "You seem disappointed. I feel as if I've done something."
Eula blinks initially at Albedo's forwardness. He's to the point, he's honest, just as he's always been. Eula admires such a feature, making life easier for her in some ways but seemingly more difficult in others.
"No, no," Eula denies, letting her body lean on his for the time being. Her own cravings had kept her hovering over him for so long, but now there was a serious topic at hand, such thoughts had exited her mind, "I don't mind, truly. I'm just...Surprised, I suppose," Eula scoffs, a small laughter coming from her to relieve the tension in the air.
"Surprised?", Albedo seems confused, his eyebrows lifting with intrigue. It hits Eula at that moment, perhaps he doesn't know what she's talking about. Perhaps, somehow, Albedo forgot to tell her such an important thing.
"You never told me you were trans," Eula states, her head lowering to his body, "It's not an issue," She adds quickly after, feeling already guilty that she's ruined the atmosphere.
Albedo doesn't respond and it concerns her. Rarely has she seen Albedo embarrassed, but she's seen him embarrassed on enough occasions to pinpoint the signs.
He does not look embarrassed. He seems, if anything, curious. Almost as if he doesn't know what she's talking about. Eula remains silent, waiting for him to respond. He seemed to think for a while, collecting his thoughts, until he came out with his next words.
"What do you mean?"
Eula pauses, now more perplexed than before. Surely, Albedo would know.
Yet, she specifies, just in case he needed her to, "You know," Eula clears her throat, "Transgender."
Albedo doesn't react. She wonders for a moment if he's caught on.
“I’m not sure I’m familiar,” He admitted candidly. Eula begins to question herself, although she's fairly certain in her judgement.
Eula lets out a soft sigh, shuffling her position lower and lower until she’s no longer straddling his hips.
“Perhaps I’m wrong,” Eula admits back, “I apologise if I am.”
She’s already regretful, wishing she hadn’t mentioned a thing. She’s fortunate that Albedo isn’t one to hold grudges, yet she’s guilty in knowing if it were her, she would have certainly been offended.
Who was Eula to question his honesty?
“It’s fine,” Albedo reassures, despite still being clueless, “I’m not offended. I can’t exactly be offended over something I’m not certain of either.”
A dry laugh escapes her lips, although she knows he’s serious, “I suppose,” Eula nods, resting her hands over his stomach idly, “Are you not aware what it means?”
“Transgender?”
Eula nods.
“I’m not.”
Eula nods back, wondering if she’s truly one to pry. She doesn’t want to make such a fuss over something so trivial because it makes no difference to Eula.
“Can you explain?”
Eula wonders if she’s really in such a position to explain that to him. She doesn’t want to misinform him, but Albedo seems completely clueless. She can see that look in his eyes, it’s searching for an answer from her specifically and she’s never been one to deny such eyes before.
“Ah- Well,” Eula’s gaze drops, gazing over his body, “May I ask something…Potentially inappropriate?”
Albedo smiles at her formality in such a moment, although it doesn’t last long as he’s concerned. She’s being serious and even if Albedo isn’t one to fear such an atmosphere, he can’t help but find himself pulling a frown at the realisation that this appears to be pressing.
“Feel free.”
Eula goes slightly red, “Your genitalia,” She gets to the point, “What is it?”
He’s embarrassed somehow. It’s a conversation he doesn’t have with just anyone - he doesn’t see why his reproductive organs are relevant.
He isn’t sure why he stammers, but he does, “Ah…Vulva.”
Eula stares at him, wondering truly how he’s gone so long without realising.
“You…”, Eula pauses, “You aren’t a woman, correct?”
“I am not.”
Despite the odd questioning, Albedo doesn’t question her. He trusts that she’s getting to it and everything she’s asking is within reason.
Eula simply nods in confirmation, “I’m…Not certain if you know,” Eula begins, unsure how to tell him, “Typically, men don’t have…”
Albedo waits for the silence, realising she’s finished. He wonders what she means, as he’s confused, but assumes he’s not fit to her expectations.
“I didn’t know,” Albedo admits, his eyes averted uncharacteristically, “I’m sorry about that.”
The way he apologises makes Eula want to rinse her heart dry, an instant regret kicking in. He’s guilty and she can see it, aware he’s probably making an attempt to hide his upset.
“No, don’t be,” Eula reaches out to hold his cheek, having him give her a quick glance. Now, Eula is sure, he is embarrassed and she couldn’t feel more responsible.
“Is it a bad thing?”, Albedo asks candidly. Eula can only feel her chest twist and turn as she frowns, feeling more blameworthy than before.
“No, it’s not,” Eula’s thumb slides over his cheek as she leans in affectionately, “Truly, it isn’t.”
Albedo turned his head towards her, but it’s not the same. Eula notices that look and although he’s trying not to make it obvious, there’s a melancholic look behind his eyes.
“I just didn’t expect it,” Eula reassures, “I thought you would have known-”, Eula shook her head, “You’re not to blame, of course. It’s not your fault that I didn’t know.”
Albedo’s head nods, yet he doesn’t speak. Eula wishes she could read his mind so she could pick her words right and comfort him in a way that fits him best. However, to her dismay, she cannot, so she figures a hug may suffice.
Eula feels Albedo’s head tilt into her neck the instant she wraps her arms around him. She hopes her actions speak for her, just as they always have done.
“I just don’t want to be different,” Albedo admits sincerely, to which Eula can only squeeze him.
“You aren’t,” Eula sighs, anxious that she may have given him a long term conscience.
Albedo, in all truth, can’t believe her words. He knows she’s trying to console him, but Albedo doesn’t like the idea of being so outlandish. He feels as if he sticks out like a sore thumb enough as he’s not really human, just being. His behaviour isn’t particularly ‘normal’ either, so to learn his biology doesn’t replicate that of the average person, or something along those lines, he feels like an outcast. He feels like a failure, beginning to wonder why he wasn’t scrapped upon creation.
Again, he is just one of many.
Surely, there is a version of him that fits better into society.
A version of him that is built correctly.
Even if he is the chosen one to do so, even if he was the one of many failures to succeed, he wonders why such an error went overlooked. To be created isn’t enough, because creating a living being is simple - However, one that fits into society? That’s difficult.
“I just didn’t want to disappoint you,” Albedo admits to Eula among his swarm of thoughts. Although, that’s not the full truth, it’s a part of it.
Albedo never imagined himself so attached to someone and certainly not to the point where he’d care this much about what someone else thought. Yet, here he was.
All Eula can do is scoff weakly at the idea of that even being a possibility, “You’re not one for such irrational thinking Albedo,” She whispers light heartedly, “It’s such a trivial thing. No one would see you any differently.”
Albedo remains quiet.
“You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone,” Eula reassures, although she’s aware that it’s slightly rich, coming from her, “There’s much more to you and such a thing is insignificant in comparison.”
Albedo hums, wanting to respond straight away but he can’t. He feels a frog in his throat, his arms around her waist tightening.
“I just don’t deal well with imperfections in myself,” He admits, as honest as he always has been with her.
Eula nods, aware of his overly critical tendencies towards himself, “I know,” Eula hums, a hand finding itself in his hair, “But it’s not an imperfection. You’re just not seeing it through the same lenses as I am.”
Albedo figures she’s right. He remains quiet, comforting himself with Eula’s embrace. She’s always been there for him, she’s always been honest with him. Eula’s always been his guiding light and has been the one he’s confided in many a time.There’s no reason she’d lie to him now and he’s confident she wouldn’t. In other words, he has no choice but to trust her when she tells him that she sees him no differently.
Eula is his guiding light, so Albedo accepts it.
“It’s not a bad thing,” Eula reiterates, “It’s just who you are,” Eula hums, wondering if she can relate it to anything, “It’s like any other characteristic.”
Eula pulls herself back to stare at Albedo and draw her hand through his hair, “Your hair is blonde,” She states, lifting a strand of her own hair, “Mine is blue.”
Albedo nods.
“It doesn’t really mean anything. It’s just…You,” Eula shrugs, “And,” Eula tilts her head slightly, her lips pulling together in thought, “The rarest of characteristics are unique. Freckles, for one.”
Albedo begins to see her point. When he sees it like that, he believes that it isn’t so bad. The feeling still resides, but it’s to a lesser extent. He feels comforted with her facts.
“That’s a nice way to think of it,” Albedo admits, “I just feel specifically like an outcast. It’s unnerving to be so different, even if some features…”, Albedo glances away awkwardly with shame, “Aren’t obvious.”
Eula nods, knowing she can relate to a certain extent, “I know,” Eula hummed, “It’s tiring having to question why and how, but…”
Albedo keeps his attention on her, valuing her opinion on it as much as his own.
“I guess one good thing is,” Eula hums lowly before she continues, “When you’re…Like we are, isolated and…”
“Private?”, Albedo introjects, Eula nodding.
“Yeah,” Eula hums, “You have specific people you confide in,” Eula reasoned, “Specific people you care about.”
Albedo nods, “I agree.”
“So, the small details,” Eula places her hand back on his cheek, a smile coming to her face while she thought, “It doesn’t matter what everyone sees. As long as you accept yourself and those you care for accept you too…”
Eula shrugged, still smiling to herself with a dazed look, “I don’t think anyone else really matters. If anyone really has such an issue with who you are, as cliche as it is, they aren’t worthy of you. I know, caring comes naturally, but-”
Albedo hummed in response, “No, you’re right,” Albedo agreed, placing his hand over hers tenderly, “You’re right,” He confirmed again, but quieter.
Eula stared at him, her smile sitting on her face still with unmistakeable care. Albedo can’t help but lean into her touch with a smile in return.
“I wonder what I do to deserve someone like you,” Albedo admits, reaching a hand out to hold her own cheek, “I admire you, Eula.”
Eula leans into his cupped hand with a red face, believing she isn’t worthy of such praise, especially over her choice to comfort him.
“I do,” Albedo adds, wanting her to take in his words truthfully, “You seem to have the perfect balance of rationality and empathy. You never fail to comfort me and…”, Albedo sighs in relief, “I just don’t know what makes me so lucky to hold someone like you.”
Eula can only snort playfully, “I didn’t know you were so sappy, Albedo,” She smiles with sarcasm, to which Albedo can only respond by scrunching up his nose in a fulfilling smile.
“Neither did I.”
Eula’s face leans in, to which Albedo automatically does the same. Whoever initiated that kiss was impossible to tell, but the feeling behind it was comforting and far easier to pinpoint. Eula pulled back to admire him, a content noise escaping her lips.
“I could continue,” Eula offers suddenly, “If you want, of course-”
Albedo’s grip tightens, practically sparking up at the idea, “Please.”
It’s not always easy to see what Albedo’s thinking, but his actions speak for themselves and who is Eula to deny? Self acceptance isn’t easy for Albedo, nor is it for anyone, but Albedo keeps her words in mind.
It doesn’t matter, really. As long as he accepts himself. Eula confirms the validity of her own declarations of love with her touches. The way she caresses him can only mean she truly loves him and such a minor detail doesn’t matter to her.
Albedo thanks himself for having such a loving partner, meanwhile Eula can only appreciate Albedo in the most effective way seemingly possible.
That way being, every way she can.
She holds him. She kisses him. She caresses his cheek, staring at him with utmost admiration, jaw dropping like she can’t even stop herself from appreciating how good he looks.
She tells him sweet nothings, tells him he’s gorgeous, he’s sweet, he’s unmatched and incomparable beyond compare.
Who exactly is Albedo to call Eula a liar when she sounds so sincere.
”I love you,” is just one of the phrases she repeats, because she means it so much.
”It’s okay, I’m here,” She reassures as she, yet again, repeats whenever he needs it most.
”You’re so-”
It’s a phrase Eula can’t help but not finish. There’s so many words she could finish with, yet she doesn’t, because a part of her can tell Albedo knows all the possible words she’s putting in there. She may not say them, but she’s thinking them, telling Albedo with those hands she’s always managed to talk so elegantly with.
There’s a first time for everything.
This was their first.