Work Text:
Most of us are bound to the wounds of our previous lives, of the unforeseeable future when we are still aching, grieving for the ghost of the past that continues to haunt our days. My heart whole when with you, and although my lung was taken from me, you continue to be the main reason as to why I find it so hard to breathe, my remaining lung full of the toxins that were and continue to be my ever-growing love for you.
I miss your voice, I miss you. My nights consist of tears and unforgiven goodbyes, goodbyes I never had, goodbyes we never got. My heart is not sure what to do without you, you were that one inconsistency in my life that I wanted to have remain consistent and now you’re gone and I have nothing, as you were my everything.
I sometimes forget that you’re gone, hoping and waiting, expecting, for you to come running through the door, for me to be wrapped in the warmth that you were, but I am left cold as I continue to be haunted by the false memories I had created of us, because us was never a thing when I wanted it so badly to be.
Sometimes I think you’re still here, in the way the tides shift and the air around me lingers for just a moment longer than necessary, as the scorching sun burns my skin as a hello or perhaps a goodbye, as you make the freckles on my face more apparent and steal them to hang in the sky, as the fire burns brighter when my thoughts consist of you, they always consist of you, they never won’t consist of you.
Sometimes I hear you in the way the tides sway to the rhythm of the falling sun, I feel you in the way it’s warmth caresses me, I see you in Minho, I see you in me. Sometimes I think of you, and sometimes is always.
You gave us a chance, you gave me a chance. You gave us a place to grow in, to call home, but you were the place that I called home, and a house without it’s foundation is not a home, not anymore.