Work Text:
Porsche had just returned from the successful retrieval of their base in Phuket.
The Italians, who had apparently been ganging up under some new "dunderhead" (as Tankhun liked to call) after Don's death, had managed to capture their very significant base and piss Kinn off very badly- all in one breath.
Apparently that hadn't been quite enough, seeing as the news came alongside a neatly printed, extremely polite death threat to "Mr. Kinn". A simple statement, that they'd like to gift their "beloved Late Mr. Don a present of Mr. Kinn's head, so as to properly mourn his spirit".
Honestly, it was getting comical seeing Kinn remain absolutely calm and Tankhun cuss the guts off of them, which was why Porsche volunteered to personally go and supervise over the retrieval of their base.
He convinced himself that he was extremely annoyed by Kinn's pretending-to-be-calm demeanor, which was why he was doing this, since he absolutely didn't want Tankhun to freak out over the well-being of his younger brother. And him volunteering had absolutely nothing to do with the chill that spread throughout his body when Arm read out the note; nor did it have anything to do with the absolutely inexplicable feeling of sheer, pure anger that coursed through him once the irrational fear subsided.
(And well. If Porsche ignored the little whisper of "I'd like to see you even try to touch a hair on Kinn's head as long as I'm alive" from the back of his mind, it was nobody's business.)
Kinn had been quick to shoot a disapproving look, but before he could even open his mouth, Tankhun- who had been, for some reason, watching Porsche with a strange glint in his eyes ever since they returned from the warehouse- exclaimed out how this was the "Perfect plan!" and " Paa, do appoint Porsche in charge and send the best entourage on forth. They'll return just in time for my new Lee Dong Wook series", and that was that.
The team set out in an hour of the meeting, and within the next twelve hours the Phuket base was back to being theirs.
Porsche could see Kinn fidgeting with himself ever since he volunteered to go, but frankly speaking, he was still pissed enough with him and didn't want to deal with this extra headache before the mission. If he had to fucking say something, he could speak his mind after the Italians learnt their lesson.
Porsche was absolutely not willing to hold a conversation with him in near future; he was fucking mad at him.
(Then again, when Porsche went to load his guns and found Arm smirking while handing him a very familiar grey Magnum pistol, if his heart betrayed him and fluttered a bit before he forcefully trampled it down- it was nobody's business.
Neither was it anybody's business - Pol didn't need to stare like that- if he had a pleased, wide-mouthed smile while cocking the gun and blowing the brains out of the dunderhead.)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, sue him if his treacherous heart leapt when he found himself facing the man in a flowing silk robe inside his luxurious room, late that night.
Porsche had come to return his gun after taking a bath with his comfort body wash (which suspiciously smelt like the one Kinn used) to wash off the blood and grime, so overall he felt slightly better than he was feeling before he left.
But that did not in any manner mean he was ready to hold The Conversation with Kinn, who was looking at Porsche in a way he didn't know how to decipher. Porsche could feel a strange undercurrent of not-exactly-tension in the air- which he ultimately chalked off to stress related to the upcoming conversation.
He had been planning about 30 different ways to avoid the inevitable, when Kinn took a step forward.
Instead of opening his mouth, however, he took his hand.
Kinn gently dragged Porsche into the middle of the room, and let his hand go to move over to one side of the room. (Porsche definitely didn't miss the warmth of Kinn's calloused rough palms.) Setting on some light ball music, he lowered the lights to change the mode.
Porsche's mouth hung open.
The entire ceiling looked like it had been studded by shattered pieces of a mirrorball. Millions of tiny fragments of colors strayed across the otherwise white space; any other time and Porsche might have mocked the whims of rich people for fancying something like this in a bedroom. But it was something so enchanting and so breath-taking; Porsche could only stare up in wonder- and not quite stop the muttered "diamonds" from his lips.
"Diamonds? Is that so?" Kinn chuckled. Those were the first words Kinn had uttered towards him after the entire fiasco at the warehouse.
"Well, dance with me under the diamonds, won't you?" He offered up a hand, sounding as breathless as Porsche felt.
Porsche gently took his hand, as if even a loud heartbeat could destroy this careful ambience they had created. They fell into each other's embrace, and just rocked to the slow ballad in place for some time.
After a few moments, slowly, gently, Porsche chanced a look up at Kinn's face, and- oh.
How could he ever even pretend to be mad at this bewitching, heartbreaking man?
Kinn's face looked like he was made to be under the shining lights. Emotions Porsche didn't have the courage to read into shined brightly through his eyes, and his lips- all Porsche could think of was pure, liquid gold. Of the shining silvers and alluring alloys and all that for which men could kill- because yes. Porsche could kill for this silver, for this gold.
"Give me. I am so greedy. Give me all the silver and gold you have, because my greed for you is boundless. Come, kiss me silver and gold," rushed through his head, but all he did was slot his lips against Kinn's. It felt just right, like complementing pieces of a puzzle.
Porsche was fairly certain he had the situation under control, until Kinn fucking sighed into the kiss.
The sheer emotional gravity of the situation pulled Porsche under, and he couldn't quite stop from blabbering out his next words. "Kinn, Kinn, Kinn," he chanted breathlessly, clutching so tight onto his biceps Porsche was sure would leave marks; "I love you. I love you, Kinn, I can never learn to unlove you. Even if some day there is nobody on your side, you will never lose me. I will be the one standing by you even if I have to burn the world down. Do not doubt my loyalty, do not push me away; I beg you, Kinn-"
"You say that I won't lose you, but you can't predict the future, can you?" Kinn gently interrupted his rambling, voice such a forlorn and broken thing Porsche was stunned into silence.
"So just hold on to me, for now. Hold on like you will never let go."
Kinn gathered him into his arms, tightly burying his head into Porsche's shoulder and turning to leave a light touch of his lips on the inside of his neck. Porsche trembled.
"Porsche, listen to me very carefully. I know your brother wants you to resign. And I don't want to take your choices away. So if you ever move on without me, I need to make sure you know...
You are the only one I'll ever love."
"Kinn-"
"Shush. I gotta tell you what you deserve to know. If it's not you, it's not anyone, Porsche. It's you. You're the only one I'll ever love, regardless of what you choose."
Porsche could feel a dampness on his shoulders, but it was as if all his emotions had tipped over breaking point and finally dissociated into his silence. Love, joy, grief, anger, fear, heartbreak- everything was swirling in the vortex of the whirlpool that was his heart. He was almost numb, except for the fact that he was feeling too much.
"I'm not a good man, Porsche. Nor am I a good leader. All my life, I've done countless mistakes, killed innocent people, tortured them into insanity, made them lose their all and beg on the streets- hell, I've even wronged you in countless ways! All my life has been nothing but a maelstrom of regrets. But looking back on my life, you're the only good I've ever done. Loving you has been the only good I've ever done. So it'll always be only you."
Almost shuddering the words into his shoulder, Kinn slightly detached himself from the embrace. Porsche almost wailed thinking he would let go, and tightened his arms more than humanly possible- but Kinn just let out a huff, and pressed a kiss on top of his head.
"What? Nothing to say? Cat got your tongue?" Kinn grumbled in an amused tone at an attempt to lighten the mood; but the haunting slow ballad coupled with the devastating lights did very little to catalyze it- Porsche still couldn't speak a word.
The overwhelming emotional pressure struck him dumb and he could only hold on tight, tighter; hold on like Kinn said- like he would never let go.
Kinn sighed, and pressed his lips to Porsche's forehead.
"If I say, Porsche, I'll love you forever, you won't believe it- and neither would I. Because to me, Porsche, forever's not enough time to love you properly. To love you the way that I want.
You're my bodyguard. Every single second that you're here, you're at a risk of losing your life over someone like me. Every night you sleep in my arms- and you are the safest then; but every morning that I find you- I just fear a day that I won't.
Living here- this isn't safe for you, Porsche. Your brother.... he has every right to demand you back. You both only have each other in this world. This isn't a world he would like you to belong to. Being by my side, as my shield, isn't the place you belong to. I-"
"Are you suggesting for me to let you go? Because I told you, you will never lose me." Porsche had, albeit somewhat shakily, found his voice back; and although Kinn had been the one silently crying throughout, it was his voice that came out all scratchy and wrong.
"You say that I won't lose you, but you simply can't predict the future.... it's because certain things are out of our control!" Kinn uttered with such agony, the sound broke Porsche's heart more than anything else.
"Porsche, you might find some way to deal with your brother; but what happens the next time something else turns up? And the next? I don't want you as a prisoner.... I'm just letting you know. Just in case.
If it's not you, it's not anyone. So you can go ahead and be happy with the things and people you deserve. You have the promise of my love, lifelong."
Porsche didn't bother answering. He knew this conversation wasn't over; in fact it was far from it- but the stress of the day had finally caught up to both of them, and he knew convincing Kinn that he was all he wanted was a conversation for a time when they both would be more level-headed.
So they just stood there, in the middle of the room; two lost souls too in love, just bordering on the edge of insanity- clutching at each other like it was the end of the world.