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When she wasn’t busy, Ayaka liked to read romance novels. It wasn’t always that she got the chance — when she wasn’t dealing with the Kamisato clan’s affairs, she was usually practicing her swordsmanship, or studying flower arrangements or tea ceremonies, or any of the other skills she had to master and keep sharp as a lady of a noble family. But when she needed time to unwind, her first choice was a story of love that could break all barriers and flourish against all odds. It was a nice, harmless fantasy to indulge in.
However, in real life, Ayaka accepted she had no time for romantic pursuits. She barely had the time for reading about these grand stories filled with declarations of eternal love, and building a relationship in reality was much harder than the stories showed. Her priority was in her duties. When she was no more than a child and her mother died, she saw her brother taking on all the responsibility of being the Yashiro Commissioner, and she had decided she wouldn’t let him do it alone. She had taken that responsibility upon herself without anyone having to tell her to do it, by her own choice. She knew that, should she have chosen it, Ayato would have let her be a child with no more responsibility than learning and growing for as long as it was proper for her to do so. But that wouldn’t be her.
She had accepted that love wasn’t something she would pursue, and so it seemed out of reach. While she moved through her daily life, it was barely a thought in her mind, something she didn’t even consider.
It was probably why it took her so long to notice those feelings growing, silently but surely, until they were too big to ignore. It was why she had never considered the possibility of being in love with — well, anyone, really — until Yoimiya was smiling by her side and the fireworks were reflecting in her eyes, splashing them with shades of red and green and golden. Why she hadn’t noticed her own heart beating faster until it felt like this feeling was too big not to spill out of her.
Yoimiya had always felt like everything Ayaka couldn’t be. From the day they had met, when Ayaka was starting to have a hand in preparing a festival and Yoimiya was accompanying her father in a meeting, Yoimiya was lively and impulsive while Ayaka had to be composed and polite. When she couldn’t sleep at night, when she was exhausted from working all day, Ayaka wished to be like Yoimiya, to be able to take things easy, to be allowed to have fun and not have so much weight on her shoulders at any given time. Ayaka wanted to be carefree, to be just another girl her age and not have so many responsibilities, to have met Yoimiya in a situation where they could get to know each other and Yoimiya didn’t have to call her by an honorific.
But that wasn’t her life, or her reality. Ayaka had had the privilege of being born into the Kamisato family, and not having a normal girl's life was the price to pay. It was pointless, even greedy, to wish things were different. So she shook those thoughts away and focused on her work, made all the necessary decisions, and made everyone proud. She was good at her role, and she received everyone’s praise modestly but kept it deep in her heart, used it to remind herself that this was what she was good at, this was where she belonged.
But even as she buried herself in her work, Ayaka always saw Yoimiya. She took over the fireworks shop as her father grew older, and every time the Yashiro commission needed fireworks — which was very often — Ayaka would go to see her, and soon they were, well, not close, but closer. Close enough for Ayaka to tell Yoimiya to drop the honorifics, and for Yoimiya to do so. Their conversations turned a little less formal, and Yoimiya started to feel comfortable enough to crack a joke or two. She seemed to notice she had made a joke only as the words left her mouth, and she seemed worried for a split second before Ayaka laughed, sometimes louder than she had intended, and only then Yoimiya’s face relaxed and she laughed with Ayaka. When they said goodbye after settling their business, Ayaka always left with a smile and a warm feeling in her chest. Yoimiya had grown up among the fireworks, and she seemed to have taken on the same traits: she was eye-catching in a way impossible to ignore, entering Ayaka’s life with a bang and disappearing too soon, glowing beautifully the whole time.
During the Vision Hunt Decree, they became unlikely partners in crime, always mediated by Thoma, whose errands provided great cover to discuss plans and trade information when he “accidentally” ran into Yoimiya while in town. It was too risky for Ayaka and Yoimiya to meet without tipping the Tenryou commission to their plans. Ayaka had so much to do between her usual duties and her covert assistance to fugitives that she barely realized — until the Vision Hunt Decree ended and she saw Yoimiya for what felt like the first time in ages. Until they were watching the fireworks in the festival they had put together, and Ayaka looked at Yoimiya and noticed that she never quite looked so peaceful as she did right then. Yoimiya always seemed energetic, restless, but as they watched the fireworks, she just seemed… content.
Ayaka smiled. The quiet glow suited Yoimiya — her eyes were fixed in the distance, and she smiled with a quiet pride whenever the fireworks showed a particularly intricate design or a brighter color, and they could hear the whole crowd exclaiming at once. Her smile was beautiful, Ayaka thought — the whole moment felt precious, something rare she would hold dear for a long time. Everyone was looking away, and only Ayaka was looking closely enough to see this side of her.
A particularly loud bang startled her, and Ayaka looked ahead to see the last of the fireworks dying out. She had spent most of the fireworks show looking at Yoimiya, she realized. It felt… embarrassing, somehow. Like she was a child who had been caught playing a game when she was supposed to be working through one of her lessons.
Yoimiya sighed. “I love festivals,” she said, still smiling that quietly happy smile. “People always think I must get tired of watching fireworks all the time, but there’s nothing quite like the atmosphere, the smell of street food, and everyone watching together. Even if the fireworks don’t last, everyone’s gonna remember this moment.”
Ayaka couldn’t help but smile fondly, even as her cheeks flushed. She would surely remember this moment, but not because of the fireworks. “It was truly beautiful,” she said, trying not to blush even harder.
Yoimiya smiled and Ayaka could swear she was glowing. “Thanks! It means a lot, coming from you,” Yoimiya said, surprisingly shyly. A lock of her hair touched the red flower tattoo in her collarbone as she looked away.
The silence stretched for a moment too long as Ayaka realized she hadn’t said anything.
“Uh, I’m a little thirsty, do you want something? I’ll go get us something to drink,” Yoimiya said, too fast, already moving towards the food stalls.
Why hadn’t Ayaka said anything? She must have seemed so arrogant.
She stood for a moment as people moved all around her. Usually, when she put all her work in setting up a festival, she didn’t really enjoy the festival itself — she was too busy fixing small issues and making sure everything was working properly and people were having fun. It had been a while since she’d actually enjoyed herself during a festival, but with Yoimiya, it seemed easy to let go of work. Even as she wondered if Yoimiya was having fun and worried about choosing the right words and filling the silences, she liked spending time with Yoimiya. She wanted Yoimiya to like spending time with her too.
She had always thought that she got nervous when she saw Yoimiya because Yoimiya was good at everything she wasn’t. Yoimiya didn’t choose her words carefully, she said the wrong thing sometimes, and yet people liked her — it was impossible not to like Yoimiya. More than that, she truly knew people and people knew her, in a way they would never know Ayaka.
She wanted Yoimiya to like her, more than she usually cared about people’s opinions of her. She wanted Yoimiya to like her for what she was, not tolerate her out of obligation. She wanted Yoimiya to care about her as much as Ayaka cared about her. Which, she was starting to realize, was a lot.
Ayaka yearned for a friend, someone who really knew her and liked her, not just tolerated her presence out of respect for her position, and she had thought Yoimiya could be that friend. But now she was starting to realize that maybe that wasn’t all she wanted from Yoimiya. She didn’t have a habit of staring at her friends for minutes at a time thinking about how beautiful they look when they smile.
This wasn’t just platonic admiration. No, there was more — her heart was beating faster, her cheeks were flushed. She had never felt like this before.
Ayaka slipped between the people in the crowd, looking for a quieter place to set her thoughts straight. This — this feeling, whatever it was, was too big to have come out of nowhere. This had been in the making for some time, and she hadn’t even noticed.
In her romance novels, every description of love was different, but the feeling was instantly recognizable. A bubbling feeling that seemed too big to hold inside you. Your heart beating too fast, filling you with adrenaline, whenever you see them. A feeling of understanding, a sense of belonging when you’re with them. Something unlike anything you’ve ever felt before, something real, something impossible to describe completely.
What she was feeling seemed dangerously close to it. She had never been in love to know for sure, but she had never been so affected by any one person. What else could it be?
“Ayaka? Are you okay?” Yoimiya asked, coming up behind her. Ayaka hadn’t seen her coming toward her, since she was so immersed in her thoughts.
“Yes, don’t worry,” Ayaka said, trying to gather herself. Yoimiya seemed worried, her head thrown slightly to the side in an adorable way. The red eyeliner around her left eye was smudged, and Ayaka felt an urge to cup Yoimiya’s face in her hands and wipe it away. She swallowed hard. “I just needed to get away from the noise for a moment. I’m alright now,” she reassured her with a smile.
“I get that. That many people talking can be overwhelming sometimes,” Yoimiya said. She offered her one of the drinks in her hand. “Take this, maybe you’ll feel better.”
“What is it?” Ayaka asked, happy for the change in subject.
“Something really cool one of the street vendors made up! It’s called dango milk, and it’s — well, it’s dango and milk,” Yoimiya said, with a laugh. “It sounds kind of weird, I know, but it’s good! At least I thought so. Usually milk makes my stomach act up, but I can eat things made with it, so I thought I’d give it a try, and I’m glad I did! I hope you’ll like it too.”
“That seems like… an interesting combination.” Ayaka took a small sip of the drink, carefully evaluating the taste in her mouth. It had a thick, heavy texture, but it was sweet and pleasant. It felt more like a dessert than a drink.
“Sooo, what do you think?” Yoimiya asked.
“It’s quite sweet,” Ayaka said, and immediately regretted stating the obvious. “But it’s nice. The texture is very interesting.” She hesitated. “I like it.”
Yoimiya smiled. “I’m glad you do!”
Ayaka took another sip of the dango milk, and realized she had no idea what to say. She was too focused on keeping her feelings away from her mind — or at least trying to — to come up with something to say. Maybe she should go home already. It was a proper time to leave, after the fireworks show was over, and then she could put herself back together. A good night of sleep would do her good, and she could stop by Yoimiya’s house in the morning and apologize for leaving early.
She opened her mouth to say so at the same time Yoimiya started talking as well.
“I should probably—”
“I wanted to—”
They both stopped at the same time.
“Go ahead,” Ayaka said.
“No, it’s alright, you go first,” Yoimiya said.
“No, go ahead, I insist.”
“I… okay then,” Yoimiya said. “I just wanted to say… I’m glad we’re spending time here together. I know that I don’t know you that well, but I want to get closer to you. You seem like such a nice person, and I wanted to get to know you better, you know? If you want to, of course. I mean, I’m probably really crossing the line here, and you don’t have to stick around if you—”
“No, I do,” Ayaka said, a bit too fast. “I’m sorry for interrupting you. I do want to get to know you better as well. I… I really like you, Yoimiya.” Ayaka averted her eyes, not able to look at her as she said it.
“Really? I’m so happy! I really like you too, Ayaka. You’re so elegant and sweet and smart, and you’re so nice to me when we’re talking even when I ramble, and you’re so pretty too, of course I like you. But I still wanted to say it,” she said, smiling sweetly. But even in the lanterns’ light, it was easy to notice she was blushing — and as long as Ayaka had known her, she had never seen Yoimiya blush.
Could it be that Yoimiya had feelings for her too?
“But here I go, talking too much again,” Yoimiya said, seeming embarrassed. “What is it that you were going to say?"
“Oh, uh, it’s nothing, don’t worry,” she said with what she hoped was a reassuring smile.
Yoimiya studied her with those amber eyes. “Are you sure? Whatever it is, you can say it, it’s alright.”
“I probably shouldn’t,” Ayaka said.
“Well, if you say it and I misunderstand, we can fix it, but if you don't say it, I’ll never know what you’re thinking.”
“But if I say something I should not say, I can’t take it back.”
“But if you don’t say it, you might regret it either way,” Yoimiya said. “It’s a leap of faith, I think.”
Ayaka took a deep breath. Yoimiya was watching her curiously. She might not have a chance like this to say it — but what if she had misunderstood? What if Yoimiya didn’t feel the same, and this brought distance between them? What if she ruined a friendship by wanting too much?
What if she stopped thinking too much and followed her heart for once?
“If you don’t want to say it, it’s alright too,” Yoimiya said, “I don’t want to pressure—”
"Yoimiya, I— I really like you. As more than just a friend.” Ayaka hesitated. The words felt unsure, unpracticed. She wasn't used to it. “I understand if you don't feel the same, but I wanted you to know — I wanted to say it."
“Wow, I didn’t see this coming. I didn’t think you might have feelings for me, I mean, you’re you , you’re the Shirasagi Himegimi and I’m just— I talk too much and I ramble and I’m not even making any sense,” she said with a nervous laugh. “I just really didn’t see this coming.”
“You don’t have to say anything if—”
“No, I like you too!” Yoimiya took her hand between hers. “I just— I didn’t think you liked me back.”
Ayaka could hardly believe it. Yoimiya was smiling at her, as brightly as Ayaka had ever seen her smile. She couldn’t help but smile back.
“How could I not?” she asked, squeezing Yoimiya’s hand.
“I don’t know, I thought you met a lot of beautiful and interesting people all the time.”
“But none can make me smile like you do,” Ayaka said, and immediately blushed as soon as she realized what she said.
Yoimiya blushed too. “Is it okay if I kiss you? Because I really want to kiss you right now.”
“Please,” Ayaka said, and no sooner than the word left her mouth, Yoimiya’s lips were on hers. She closed her eyes, shutting out all the noise and the flickering lanterns and focusing only on the feeling of Yoimiya’s lips and her hands still holding hers.
In her romance novels, first kisses are magical. They make the protagonist feel like everything they've been through was worth it, they feel like all the pieces finally fit together. They convey thousands of words in just a moment, they are a promise of never ending love.
This wasn’t a magical first kiss, but it was exactly what she wanted. Ayaka didn’t want to be anywhere else in the world other than kissing Yoimiya at a festival on a warm spring evening. Maybe she hadn’t kissed anyone before to know what a kiss was supposed to feel like, but she didn’t want to find out with anyone else. And even if only for a moment, she was just a girl, kissing another girl at a festival.