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Well, Kris' life has now been leading up to this very moment. Here he was standing outside of a dumpster in the Cyberworld kind of caring, kind of not caring about how the heck his journey through the Dark world brought him here in the first place.
To think this all started when he walked down a suspicious alleyway right after driving down the wrong side of the highway, and hitting all the cars on his way down. Susie would be so proud of him.
Now here he was, waiting for the very Darkner who would teach Kris all the ways. The every which way...the scamming way.
This was it. Today was the day. Kris was finally going to fulfill his TRUE destiny. It turns out, Kris wasn't meant to save the Dark world or the Light world, he wasn't meant to get a college degree, and he even wasn't meant to get a job at some fast food place...no. Today, Kris was going to learn how to be a scammer.
Kris came out of his thoughts when he heard the lid of the dumpster slam open to reveal the tiny man-puppet himself: Spamton G. Spamton.
“KRIS!!!” Spamton shouted, “IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU FINALLY CONSIDER MY [Once in a lifetime DEAL]!!!”
“Yup.” Kris said nonchanlontely. “Now teach me the ways of the scam, scam man.”
“WHY OF COURSE I WILL [little sponge]. BUT FIRST WE NEED A [SUC-SUC-SUC-] REASONABLE CLIENT!!!”
Spamton was waving his arms wildly as he talked, like he was spasming out or something. Then again, he always looked like that, so it's probably just Spamton being Spamton.
“But where are we gonna find such a sucker to scam?” Kris asked impatiently. He wanted that scam money darn it!
“THERE'S A GOOD [Sucker Pops For Only $9.99] OVER THAT WAY [Krispy Bacon Bits For Only-]”
“Call me krispy bacon bits again, and your dead.” Kris said threateningly, though not too threateningly. He didn't want to scare off his mentor after all. Susie must've been rubbing off on him...
“DuBiOuslY NoTeD...” Spamton said frailly.
So, Krispy bacon and Spam man went down the street and low and behold there was their first potential victim....a Virovirokun. The virus-based Darkner was simply minding her own business and possibly trying to avoid being spotted by any Ambyu-Lances. Such is the life of a Virovirokun.
“OKAY KRIS!!!” Spamton yelled as loud as he could, even though they were both supposed to be quiet. “HERE'S WHAT YOU HAVE 2 [Do in 5 easy steps]! FIRST YOUR GOING TO MAKE [Small Talk] TO THAT VIROVIROKUN OVER [This way to A BRAND NEW CAR!!!]” Spamton pointed to her with his jittery finger. “THEN WHILE U [DISTRACTABLE DEALS] HER, I'LL [Go in FOR THE WIN]!!!!” The advertisement shouted at max volume. “SHE'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT HIT HER!!! EHAEHAEHAEHAEHAE!!!!” Spamton spasmed out some more. Since he was Spamton though, he was perfectly, kind of, maybe, probably, okay.
“Gotcha.” Kris gave Spamton a big thumbs up. “Though, isn't this just stealing and not scamming?” Kris asked.
“OH, [little sponge]! SCAMMING IS STEALING!!! DIDN'T U LEARN THIS IN [GET SCHOOLED!!!???]” Spamton asked extremely loudly.
“Nope.” Kris deadpanned.
“….....FAIR ENOUGH....!!!”
When those two crazy tater tots began to walk close enough to where the Virovirokun was, Spamton elbowed Kris in the shin, because dang, that man is so short, and signaled Kris to go talk to her. Kris obliged, and began making there way over to the Virovirokun, and started small-talking her.
“Hey.” Kris greeted. “What are you doing out here on this fine, fantastical day?”
“Oh! Hey there! Umm...Krisp was it?” She said excitedly. “Yeah, I remember battling you! Your really good at dodging you know! I'm just looking out for Ambyu-Lances, you know how it is, right?”
“Kind of. See I-”
“Oh you know what?” The virus interrupted. “ I think I remember hearing your voice not too long ago. Were you talking to someone else?”
Kris began to sweat a bit at that and said, “N-Noooo...why would you think th-”
“Oh okay that's a relief!” She interrupted again. “Cause from the sound of it, it sounded like you were going to steal from me or something!” She said happily.
Kris was starting to really sweat now. Dude could probably fill a bucket with all that lost liquid, because while the two were still talking, Spamton was trying to pickpocket said Virovirokun, while Kris was subtly watching the whole time. (Good thing he has all that hair in his face.)
But because of how short Spamton was, he couldn't quite reach the Darkner's pocket. So he had to improvise. He ended up having to get a small box to stand on, that was conveniently on the side of the road, and he almost fell off of it like the clumsy little man he was. Luckily, he was able to reach for the pocket and quickly grabbed what he could.
“KRIS!!!” Spamton shouted. “I GOT THE GOODS!!! LET'S [run, Run, RUN!!!]” Spamton hopped off the box and started booking it on those tiny feet of his.
Kris also began to run away, but a bit faster then Spamton. Krismas ended up picking up Spammy and ran as fast as he could.
“What?” Asked Virovirokun confusedly. “H-HEY THAT'S MY WALLET!!! Give that back this instant!” She began to chase them both...cue Benny Hill...
The chase was really intense. Viros began to throw spears at Kris and Spamton, but Kris was really good at dodging so none of them hit. Kris started running, and dodging, and weaving down different alleyways all the while kept dodging spears left and right. It was absolutely exhilarating for him. Spamton was even helping Kris by telling him which turns to take, since he knew these streets better then him.
It was to the point that the Virovirokun started to lose them, because of how many turns Kris made. When he finally felt that he lost her, he plopped Spamton down on the ground and asked what it was he...''scammed''...
“So, what did you...'scam'...out of her?” Kris asked.
“WELL, SHE SAID HER [Once in lifetime] WALLET!!! SO IT MUST BE THAT!!!” Spamton said, and vibrating excitedly all the while.
However, when he looked to see what he had in his hand, he was surprised to see it wasn't a wallet, but a half eaten CD Bagel. Spamton and Kris both stared at the bagel, as if it had personally offended them...
Then they silently just split the bagel and ate it. No complaints. It was a darn good bagel. A real banging C of the D bagel...boping.
“Hey Spamton?” Kris asked.
“YES [Krismas came EARLY]!!!??” Spamton said all jittery-like.
“I think I want to do this again.” Kris said with the smallest of smiles.
“REALLY!!!??/K;HBOJMO'KKOLNOLN;K” Spamton glitched out for a moment. Again he's fine....maybe.
“Yeah, that was a lot of fun. Maybe next time I could bring my friend Susie to join us on the next scam.” Kris suggested eagerly.
“THAT WOULD BE SPLUNDIDERYUMPOUS%///////9Y87TYGVL,,MN,N/,/////// KRIS!!!” Spamton glitched out yet again, this time with his arms and legs fazing in and out of reality...really he's fine...possibly.
“Cool. See ya till then...” Kris waved at Spamton and started walking away to go meet back with his friends again. You know, he got so side-tracked, he kind of forgot what he was supposed to be doing in the first place. Oh well, can't be too important. Tomorrow, him, Susie, and Spamton are gonna scam as many people as possible. It's his one true goal now. Nothing will stop him....except Ralsei....but nothing else will stop him, that's for sure!