Chapter Text
[vthebard added blondeboysback, lumizoomi, and 15 others to the chat]
[vthebard renamed the chat “mondstadt gc that wont die”]
vthebard: so.
jeanbean: Venti.
vthebard: jean.
Jeanbean: Venti.
vthebard: jean.
ambbers_: Amber!!
EulaLaurence: hello amber, i was unaware you had instagram.
ambbers_: EULA!! I never use this app much :P,, thats probably why it’s never been broughtr up!!
EulaLaurence: ah. good to know. how was your day?
rosathornes: oh my god dms exist
kaeyaicedlatte: i highly doubt this will go any better than last year
AdventurerBenny: whta happened last yaer?
_dilucc_: it’s probably best you don’t know.
AdventurerBenny: oh!
AdventurerBenny: Oksy!!
kaeyaicedlatte: fun times ;)
lumizoomi: someone tell me why my phone is blowing up from something other than aether needing toilet paper.
lumizoomi: also Paimon says hi
ambbers__: HI PAUIMON!!!!!!!!!!!!
lumizoomi: Paimon told me to say that she should be added to this chat too
lumizoomi: she does not understand that she needs a phone for that
lumizoomi: i also absolutely cannot trust any of you around my sister
blondeboysback: i second that
ambbers__: awh :(((
MelodicBarbara: Hello everyone! It seems Venti is being a nuisance once again?★
vthebard: wow okay
vthebard: i see i am not wanted here
_dilucc_: finally
rosathornes: took you long enough
blondeboysback: guys leavrr hifm alonbr
vthebard: ???
lumizoomi: boyfriend attack
vthebard: ah
vthebard: okay
vthebard: wait
vthebard: AETHER JAS A BOYFIRNED????? AND HE DIDNT TELG ME.????????:-&;!;’-
blondeboysback: lumine shut up challenge
lumizoomi: challenge failed
vthebard: i need skme clarification actually
vthebard: guys
vthebard: guys
vthebard: did you all just mute the chat
kaeyaicedlatte: i didnt
vthebard: you dont count
kaeyaicedlatte: ;(
vthebard: @blondeboysback
vthebard: @blondeboysback
vthebard: @blondeboysback
blondeboysback: oh my god what do you want
vthebard: i thought we were friends
blondeboysback: stop being dramatic
blondeboysback: hes also not even my boyfriend
lumizoomi: he sure as hell acts like it
kaeyaicedlatte: well who is this mystery boy? im invested now.
catalisa: it’s probably that liyue junior that’s been following him like a lost dog all summer
blondeboysback: how the hell do you know abt that
catalisa: i work the night shift at burger king
catalisa: your boyfriend has the strangest midnight cravings
blondeboysback: not my boyfriend
blondeboysback: but yeah he does
lumizoomi: speaking of which can you tell him to stay out of my ice cream
blondeboysback: but it’s his favorite :(
lumizoomi: then he can buy it for his goddamn self like a big boy
vthebard: OKAY
vthebard: I DID SOME DIGGING
blondeboysback: god
vthebard: AND WHY ARE YOU DATING MY SON
jeanbean: your what.
catalisa: and so the plot thickens
lumizoomi: what.
blondeboysback: Venti, I am not your son. Leave me alone.
vthebard: XIAO.
vthebard: DONT MAKE ME GET YUOR FATHER.
blondeboysback: Leave him out of this
blondeboysback: Venti.
blondeboysback: Venti please.
adeptusxiao: ignore anything and everything Venti says regarding me.
notmorax: ?
vthebard: OUR SON HAS A BOYFRIEND
notmorax: What,?
vthebard: ZHONGLI OUR LITTLE BABY IS ALL GROWN UP
notmorax: Oh, how lovelY.
vthebard: i’m going crazy z you dont even know
notmorax: I’m happy for you, Son.
adeptusxiao: oh my GOD
blondeboysback: xiao is making the most intense expression
catalisa: lmao why
blondeboysback: he said he’s trying to quote unquote “explode venti with his mind”
blondeboysback: its strangely adorable
lumizoomi: GROSS
rosathornes: just threw up in my mouth a little
vthebard: aether do you want to hear xiao’s embarrassing baby stories
blondeboysback: absolutely
lumizoomi: im still a little confused abt the whole family dynamic thats happening
AdventurerBenny: em Too!!
AdventurerBenny: i don’t knohw these people thatwerll!!
vthebard: me n zhongli adopted an entire freshman friend group when we were sophmores!!!
vthebard: most of em have moved away by now but xiao’s still here!!
_dilucc_: I highly doubt your skills as a parental figure.
vthebard: oh how you wound me
jeanbean: I second that.
vthebard: wth jean :(
gluclose: if i remember correctly, the last time you babysat klee, she managed to order 28 large servings of curly fries with your phone.
vthebard: you have no proof that she did that unsupervised
lumizoomi: the man makes a good point
vthebard: thanksies lumine
lumizoomi: i'm never taking ur side in anything ever again.
vthebard: :(