Archive of Our Own ^beta

After being frantically contacted by Dustin, Robin and Nancy pull up to the graveyard just in time to see Max begin to float. 

Nancy races out of the car. Robin is quick to follow, staring in horror at the teenager in the air. She doesn’t know Max that well—besides Dustin and Erica, she doesn’t really know any of the kids—but she knows her well enough, and she’s heard enough about the situation to not want anyone to go through it, much less a teenage girl she’s kinda friendly with. 

Steve, Dustin and Lucas are all underneath Max, shouting, begging for her to come down. Steve has both of his hands in his hair, shouting for Max. 

A slow chill begins to creep over her. It isn’t working. 

Max’s body contorts, making horrible snapping noises, so fast that they don’t get a second to react before her eyes pop, blood flowing from the empty sockets. 

She drops. 

Robin can’t help it. She screams, her hand flying to her mouth in a desperate attempt to stifle it. 

Lucas throws himself onto Max’s corpse, filling the stunned silence with repeated shouts of “No, no! Max! No, please!”

Dustin looks away, but Robin can see by his body language he’s crying. Steve stares, stunned, at the scene, seemingly frozen in place. 

She takes a cautious step towards him, trying to decide what to even say—because what even was there to say, really? What do you say when the kid that’s basically one of your best friend’s kid siblings drops dead?—and that seems to break the spell. Steve turns to look at Robin, his face unreadable, and begins marching up to her.

“Steve, I’m so—” she starts, but stops, seeing the livid expression on his face. She’s never seen him like this before, staring with a look so full of pure hatred, pure venom. 

He’s looking at her.

“This is your fault,” he snarls, grabbing her by the front of her jacket. “You just had to waste time pissing around with Nancy, and look what happened.”

“W—What?” She’s taken aback. She tries to step backwards, away from him, but his grip is too tight.

“You killed her, Robin!” he spits. “You couldn’t be serious for once in your damn life, and now Max is dead!” 

“Steve, it’s not…” 

“No, he’s right,” Nancy says—no, snaps, to her horror, a look of pure disgust on her face. “You could never be serious, not even when there’s real danger. Maybe if you hadn’t pissed around with that babble about running badly, Max wouldn’t have died.”

“I… I’m sorry—” She manages to wrench herself free from Steve’s grasp, but he remains up in her face, glaring at her. 

“You killed her!” Dustin shouts. “Sorry isn’t enough!” 

“You killed her!” Lucas repeats, standing now, holding Max’s broken body up. In his arms, she looks like a puppet cut from its strings. Robin can’t seem to tear her eyes away, as much as she wants to. 

“It’s your fault!” Dustin continues, stepping towards her. Lucas, too, takes a step in her direction. They’re all yelling at her, now. She covers her ears, shaking her head pleadingly. 

“Please, guys… I swear, I didn’t…” The words come out as a whimper.

Around her, the graveyard darkens, the already dim daylight seeming to seep away. She’s cold, suddenly.

Steve speaks again. Though muffled, his voice seems to contort. “Don’t you see? You only hurt the people around you.” 

“Steve?” She glances at him. His eyes flicker. Blood begins to spill from his eye sockets. 

Robin stumbles backwards with a gasp. “Steve, your eyes—”

He continues his advance towards her, slow, steady, like a lion prowling towards its prey. “Did you really believe someone like him would put up with someone like you?”

As she continues backing away, it dawns on her, and the relief she feels is so palpable that it almost winds her. It’s her, not them. She’s the one under Vecna’s curse.

In any other situation, she’d have laughed at the irony of feeling relieved to be stalked by a creature from the Upside Down, but if she was Vecna’s target, it meant that Max wasn’t.

At least, not for the time being. 

‘Steve’ changes before her eyes, his skin peeling away as she watches, frozen. She squeezes her eyes shut. She’ll be damned if she watches her best friend turn into a monster. 

“The king of Hawkins High, hanging around with a loser from band class?” Steve’s voice twists until it is no longer recognisable as his. “Robin, Robin, Robin. Don’t you see? You’re dragging them down to your level. The outcasts. The rejects.” 

“Shut up!” she shouts, squeezing her ears harder, though his voice continues as clearly as though he's speaking into her ear. 

“Soon, Robin. Soon… You’ll join me.” 

A loud clock chimes, an odd, wrong noise for a clock to make. She opens one eye, briefly, and sees that where Max’s body was, a grandfather clock stands, out of place among all the graves. Taking a deep, shuddering breath, she closes her eyes again. 

When her eyes open, the scene is back to normal, except Max is no longer floating in the air.

For a second, her heart drops, but then she sees Max, alive, in Lucas’ arms, in Dustin’s arms, in Steve’s arms. They’re piled onto her, holding her tightly, and Robin breathes a sigh of relief. Next to her, watching the scene, Nancy smiles.

Max is safe. Max is alive. 

Not one of them had noticed Robin’s brush with Vecna. Of course they wouldn’t notice, a voice in her head whispers. To notice, they’d have to care.

Nancy glances at Robin. “Robin? You’re looking a bit pale. Are you okay?”

Robin nods, perhaps too fast. She’s not sure if she can speak. Not yet. 

Nancy looks sympathetic. “I understand. Even after everything, it’s terrifying to see anything related to the Upside Down.”

Robin nods again, swallowing hard. “Yeah,” she manages to mumble. “I’ll be alright.”

What’s she meant to do? Crush their small victory with the news that Vecna was after her, now, too? Take the attention away from a teenage girl who just very nearly died? Steve’s looking relieved, less stressed, for once. 

She can’t take that away from them. 

*

For what it’s worth, Robin does strangely well at putting the whole ordeal at the back of her mind.

They meet back up with Eddie, end up at Lover’s Lake as per Dustin’s instructions, dive into the Upside Down after Steve gets pulled into Watergate. Which, okay, is terrifying.

When she falls, she’s caught by Eddie, who smiles at her. He seems nice enough, she thinks, and he’s a welcome addition to their little group. It helps relieve some of the tension between her, her best friend, and her best friend’s ex-girlfriend that he'd been in love with ‘til he'd started crushing on her instead.

She’s warmed up to Nancy, to her complete and utter surprise, but a nagging feeling tells her Nancy hasn’t quite yet warmed up to her. 

To be honest, by the time they reach the second gate, Robin’s put the whole situation out of her head. Between the fear of rabies, those bat-like creatures and just, y’know, generally being in the Upside Down, she’s more than ready to climb up the sheets Dustin tossed to them. 

Nancy, Steve and Eddie stand, eyeing the tied sheets nervously. Robin lets out an exaggerated sigh. 

“I guess I’ll be the guinea pig,” she says, teasing.

She grabs the tied sheets, giving them a tug for good measure. They’re surprisingly sturdy.

Slowly, but surely, she climbs up, feeling the odd sensation of the world shifting around her. She’s almost with them now—another few seconds and she’ll be right-side-up again. 

Gravity pulls her and she lets herself drop, waiting for the impact with the mattress.

It doesn’t come. Instead, she slams into the ground, hard, hitting her head against something she doesn’t see. 

“Ow,” she moans quietly. Things seem to be spinning. Her face is against something cold.

Blearily, she takes in her surroundings, forcing herself upwards into a sitting position. 

She touches her head gingerly where she’d felt the collision. She’s pretty sure there’s going to be a lump tomorrow. Steve’ll probably call her Egghead, but he’ll help patch her up. The thought is comforting. 

Her surroundings slowly shift into focus. She’s sitting on a tiled floor, seemingly in a toilet cubicle. Something about the situation feels familiar, but she can’t put her finger on what. 

She stares down at the tiled floor and dread begins to pool in her stomach. She knows where she’s seen it before. 

She’s in one of the school bathrooms. 

*

Steve waits, a little impatiently, as Robin holds onto the tied sheets. “Any time today, Rob, we’re not getting any younger down here.” 

He expects her to retort—maybe she’s chickened out, there’d be no shame in it, besides maybe a little teasing—but she doesn’t respond. Or move.

She isn’t moving at all, now that he’s looking. 

“Rob?” he asks, caution creeping into his tone. He passes Nancy, stepping in front of Robin. 

Robin’s standing perfectly still, one hand clutching the sheets, the distinct blue of her eyes overtaken by a milky appearance. A milky appearance that is all too familiar.

“Robin!” Steve shouts, urgency evident in his tone, causing Eddie to jump. Nancy rushes to Steve’s side, her hands flying to her mouth when she sees Robin’s face. 

“Robin!” Nancy tries, to no avail. Steve’s taken Robin’s arm in his hand by the time Eddie skids over to investigate, shaking her roughly. 

“Rob. Rob! Robin!” Steve tries, shaking her harder. 

“Stop shaking her, Steve, it isn’t helping!” Nancy cries. 

“What's happening down there?” Dustin demands. “What’s the hold-up?”

Steve ignores Nancy, clutching Robin’s shoulders instead and trying once more to shake her. “Robin, c’mon, snap out of it! Robin!”

“Vecna’s got Robin!” Eddie calls up—or down, he really doesn’t know anymore—to Dustin.

“Shit!” Dustin calls back, panic in his voice. The kids scatter, looking for something, anything, that could help.

“Steve!” Max shouts. “What’s Robin’s favourite song?”

Steve isn’t hearing any of them; he’s too focused on Robin. 

“Robin, please,” he begs. “Robin. Robin.”

“Steve,” Nancy says softly, putting her hand on his shoulder. Her hand is small, more delicate than the feel of Robin’s hand that he’s used to feeling on his shoulder. “Steve, we need to know her favourite song.”

“I don’t know!” Steve snaps.

Robin remains unresponsive and his panics grows, fueling the terror pooling inside him.

Desperate, he touches her face, giving her a gentle tap on both cheeks. He doesn’t want to hurt her, scared to do it any harder, but still, Robin doesn’t move.

“Robin—Robin doesn’t have a favourite song. Her taste in everything chops and changes on the regular. And besides, it’s not like we have anything on hand!” He shouts the last part, although he doesn’t mean to. His hands find their way back to Robin's shoulders and he digs his fingers in, clutching her. 

Eddie, out of nowhere, jumps into action, grabbing the makeshift rope and hauling himself up. 

“What are you—“ Nancy starts, but she’s drowned out by Steve’s cry, “You fucking coward!”

Eddie lands on the mattress and almost immediately jumps up again, racing out of sight. 

*

Robin sits on the floor of the bathroom stall, her breathing coming out in rapid breaths. No reason to completely panic. At least not yet.

Max had said that Vecna, or whatever the hell that thing was, fed off guilt. As far as she can remember, she doesn’t have any particularly guilty memories that take place in a bathroom. 

The door to the bathroom bangs open and she jumps, trying to quieten her breathing. From the gap beneath the door she sees two pairs of feet walking to the sinks. They’re talking, quietly. She can’t make out what they’re saying.

Silently, she leans and presses her ear against the door of the bathroom stall. She knows it shouldn’t make a difference, but their voices get louder anyway.

“—the rumour?” one of the girls says. Robin realises, with a jolt, that it’s Vickie’s voice. 

“What rumour?” the other girl replies, and Robin places the voice much faster this time, her stomach turning. It’s Nancy. 

Vickie lowers her voice even further, but Robin’s still able to make out the next words clearly. “I heard there’s a lesbian in the school.”

Her blood seems to turn to ice as the two girls giggle together. Then—

“Ew,” Nancy says. Robin obviously can’t see her, but she can picture her nose crinkling in disgust, her doe eyes wide. “Imagine if that rumour was true.”

“Isn’t it so gross?” Vickie laughs, a menacing sound. “If it is true, whoever it is should be kicked out, for our protection. It’s dangerous to let her be around other girls.” 

Robin makes a sharp intake of breath and the two girls fall silent. Her heart thudding in her chest, she quickly covers her mouth with her hand, praying the noise didn’t give her away. 

“Someone’s in here,” Nancy hisses. Robin squeezes her eyes shut. Please, no. Don’t let them find her.

The footsteps turn in her direction. Before she can react, the stall door is wrenched off its hinges, revealing Nancy and Vickie, staring at her in pure horror. 

“Oh my God, Robin, you pervert!” Vickie shrieks, clinging to Nancy’s arm. “Were you spying on us?” 

“N—No, I swear!” Robin’s voice is frantic. “I was just going to the bathroom—”

“You’re sitting on the floor,” Nancy points out. Just as she’d imagined, Robin can see the disgust plain on her face. “You’re not even on the toilet.”

“You’re her! You’re the lesbian!” Vickie cries. “What the fuck, Robin? I thought we were friends!”

“We are friends,” Robin pleads. “Vickie, I swear—”

“Is that why you wanted to come with me to see Creel?” Nancy asks slowly, loathing in her tone. “To corrupt me? To make me… Like you?”

“What? No, no of course not—I just—” As Robin speaks, the two girls back away from her. “It’s not true, I swear, it’s not—” 

Vickie shrieks, again, and Nancy lets out a scream. “Stay away!” Their voices are in unison. 

The bathroom door bangs open and Steve bursts into the room, holding his spiked bat, and Robin’s so relieved she could cry. 

“Get away from her,” he says, looking at the two girls. She can always count on Steve, she thinks, to rescue her. If anyone was to find a way into Vecna’s nightmare visions, it would be him. 

“Steve, thank God—” Robin starts, but she sees him wrap a protective arm around Nancy. He turns his head to look at Robin, shooting her a look she’s never seen him give her before. 

It’s a look of pure repulsion. Within her chest—or maybe her throat, by this point—she feels her heart fracture. It’s already pounding so loudly she’s sure they can all hear it.

“She was creeping on us like some kind of freak,” Nancy says, leaning into Steve. He gently steers her away from Robin, nudging Vickie back, too. 

“She is a freak,” Steve says, his voice calm. It makes it so much worse. “She told me herself. She likes girls.”  

The three of them turn to look at Robin again with matching sickened expressions. She feels bile rise in her throat, but she can’t tear her eyes away from them. 

Nancy spits at her, the spittle hitting her shoe. 

“You stay away from now on.” Steve’s tone is harsh, dangerous. She’s never heard him talk like this before. “If you come near either of them again, I’ll kill you. I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Steve…” Robin’s mouth is dry. “Steve, please, we’re friends—”

“Friends?” he scoffs. Her heart, which she was starting to think couldn’t take anymore damage, shatters. “I only stuck around with you to make sure I could protect everyone else from you. As if I’d ever be friends with a freak.” 

She barely makes it to the toilet bowl in time, throwing up horribly into it.

When she looks back at the stall entrance, the three of them are gone, and she’s alone once more. 

*

Steve’s continuing his tirade of Robin, Robin, Robin, when he feels her shoulders pressing into his hands. 

“Robin? Robin, can you hear—” Oh, he realises, starting to feel sick. It’s not movement.

She’s beginning to rise. 

Steve grabs hold of her, wrapping his arms around her waist as her feet leave the ground, clinging to her like he can keep her anchored.

Above them, Dustin shouts, a panicked noise that confirms they’ve seen what’s happening too. 

“Robin!” Steve cries, his best friend rising higher. “ROBIN!”

Eddie crashes back into view, almost colliding with Dustin at the speed he’s at. Panting and clinging to his guitar, he shouts. “Give me a song!”

“What?” Steve shouts back, feeling his own feet begin to leave the floor. Desperately, he wraps his legs around Robin’s legs, holding on to her with everything he has.

He feels something grab him and he yelps, looking down, only to see Nancy grabbing onto him, holding him up, supporting his weight so that gravity doesn’t drag him from his friend. 

“A song!” Eddie repeats, his voice strained. “Give me a song!”

“Maybe it doesn’t have to be a favourite!” Max adds. “Maybe it just needs to have meaning!”

Robin at last stops rising, suspended midair between both sides of the gate, her head and shoulders above Eddie and the others, the rest of her body still in the Upside Down. Her head has tipped back, her hair hanging down. 

Lucas drags a chair into the living room and Dustin jumps onto it, trying to reach for Robin, helplessly. 

“Steve!” Dustin screeches, seeing Robin’s eyes roll back into her head. “We’re running out of time!” 

Steve lets out a cry, an animalistic noise, and tries to tighten his grip on Robin. He’s starting to sweat.

With another shout, he forces himself to scoot upwards, wrapping his arms around her neck to rest on her shoulders, readjusting his legs to wrap around her waist. 

“Robin!” he screams, and, God, he can hear how pathetic his voice sounds, but he doesn’t care, not when his best friend is dying—

His best friend is dying. It hits him, all at once. 

Robin is dying, and all he can do is watch.

*

Robin shivers on the bathroom tiles, blinking furiously as tears prick at her eyes. She won’t cry. Not here, not now. 

“Robin…” a voice croons. Her head shoots up to see dark vines winding around the bathroom stall. “Robin…” 

“Leave me alone!” It comes out as a squeak, to her embarrassment. Then she thinks about how stupid it is to feel embarrassed when she’s face-to-face with death. It’s so typical of her.

“Deep down… You know you belong here.” The sentence is punctuated with a pause. The deepness of the voice—Vecna’s voice, she knows, but she can’t bring herself to allow herself to know it—sends ice down her spine. 

“Shut up!” she shouts, covering her ears. She can still hear it, loud and clear.

“You said it yourself… Your mother was right.” 

The bathroom door opens once more and her mother steps into sight with a sigh. “Robin, Robin. Why can’t you just act normal?”

“Mom?” Robin whimpers, but her mother just tuts at her, shaking her head in the disappointed way Robin’s used to. 

“I was so happy to have a little girl, only for you to turn out… like this. Honestly, Robin, what did I do to deserve a daughter with so many flaws?” Her mother pinches the bridge of her nose, standing in the stall doorway. “No friends, no boyfriends… You’re a total loner, Robin. And then you shame me by going after… going after girls, Robin?” Her voice shakes. “We’ll be the talk of the town. You’ve disgraced the entire family.”

*

Steve wracks his brain, desperately, searching for a song Robin likes, anything Robin listens to. She’s his best friend, for fuck’s sake, why can’t he think of anything? What kind of shitty friend is he? Not only is she dying, but her blood is also on his hands. 

His head snaps up. His best friend. 

There was a time, once, not long after Starcourt was destroyed. 

*

He’s in his bed, unable to sleep. It’s not irregular. Not at this point.

It’s been less than a week since Starcourt was destroyed—since he’d been tortured by Russians, beaten within an inch of his life, since they’d had to fight that thing—and he’s pretty sure he’s managed to sleep for less than half of the nights since.

It’s not that he isn’t tired; he’s exhausted, he can feel it in his bones. Sleep just won’t come. He closes his eyes and he experiences it all again.

The mind flayer. Dustin, Erica and Robin, squeezed up against him behind the ice cream counter, trying to stifle their terror to keep them alive. Robin, shouting for help, her voice panicked and desperate behind him. Dustin, telling him if Steve dies, he dies too.

He’d dragged them into the mess, he thinks grimly. Maybe not so much Dustin, who seems to find messes well enough on his own, but Erica? Robin? It’s his fault they were even there. If he’d kept his mouth shut, Robin would’ve been none the wiser about anything going on in Hawkins and Erica wouldn’t have been recruited to help them. 

Despite the guilt, selfishly, he’s a little grateful. Having someone close to his own age, besides his ex and her new boyfriend, who knows what’s going on, is a welcome relief.

That person being Robin is even more welcome. Even without the initial crush on her he’d had—which he’s getting over, slowly, but that’s his business, with no reflection on her—she’d been a refreshing addition to his life. 

Before the whole ‘kidnapped by Russians’ thing, he’d hoped they’d stay friendly, but figured they wouldn’t be friends. He considered her a friend, for sure, but how do you maintain friendships with people who have no idea of the world beneath your feet? He’d assumed that they’d probably maintain a summer friendship that would die off once they no longer worked together.

He hadn’t intended on dragging her into everything. Really, he hadn’t. He’s grateful it did happen, though, because the whole experience gave him Robin. Overnight, they’d gone from friendly co-workers to actual friends. Hell, Robin had opened up to him more than he’d ever expected her to, and he’d opened up to her, too. They’d bonded. He likes to think that that bond will last.

A knock on his bedroom window pulls him out of his thoughts and he sits up quickly, reaching for the bat besides his bed. It’s where it always is, reliable as ever. 

He edges to the window, raising the bat, slides it open, and—

He’s met with Robin’s face. Or, more accurately, Robin’s face is met with his bat.

“Woah!” She stumbles backwards in surprise and he drops the bat, rushing to grab her arm before she falls. 

“What the hell are you playing at, Buckley? I have a front door!” he hisses, his heart beating fast as she steadies herself. “Jesus Christ. I could’ve killed you.”

“I wasn’t sure if your parents were home!” she protests, her voice hushed. “Didn’t want to wake them or answer questions as to why a girl is showing up on your doorstep in the middle of the night.”

“Yeah, because a girl crawling through my window in the middle of the night is way less suspicious,” he says, snorting. “Get in here before you freeze or fall to your death.”

Robin climbs through his window with a bit of help, Steve nudging the bat away so that she doesn’t step onto it. 

“That’s some weapon,” Robin comments, then looks around his room, wrinkling her nose. “This is how you decorate your room?”

“Hey, I don’t turn up at your house and criticise your decor.” He mocks being hurt, clutching his chest. 

“Seriously! I feel like I’m in a math book over here.” Robin stands in the middle of his room, turning slowly, as if to take in all of it. He almost laughs at the irony. A math book room for a problem kid.

“Was there something you came for, or did you just want to insult my wallpaper?” Steve flops onto his bed, watching her. She looks suddenly self-conscious and shrugs, fiddling with a strand of her hair. He raises an eyebrow at her. 

She’s quiet for a moment, but eventually she mumbles, “Couldn’t sleep. Kept thinking.” 

Steve sits up, resting against his headboard. She doesn’t need to continue; he already understands. 

Nevertheless, she says, “Didn’t… Didn’t want to be alone.” She scuffs her converse on his carpet as the words leave her mouth, looking awkward. He realises he’s seen her like this before, a week prior. Vulnerable, avoiding his eyes. He softens. 

He pats the space on the bed next to him. It’s Robin’s turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Are you using your tricks on me at a time like this, Harrington?”

“Need I remind you that you crawled in through my window? Anyone would think you’re trying to romance me, Buckley,” Steve jokes back. “But no. Just thought we might as well get comfy.”

She looks at him for a moment, blue eyes travelling over him as if working out his intent, but drops beside him, bouncing slightly. She smells nice, some perfume he doesn’t know the name of mixed with the unmistakable scent of Robin. If it were any other girl, he’d be nervous being this close to her. But Robin is, well… Robin. It’s comfortable. 

He catches sight of her walkman, attached to her jeans, and follows the cord to see the headphones around her neck. “What are you listening to?”

She hums. “Don’t laugh.”

He mimes shock. “I would never—” 

“Yeah, yeah. It’s a band called Joy Division.” 

“What song?”

She hesitates. “Love Will Tear Us Apart.”

He doesn’t know it, but it sounds depressing. “Bit deep for three in the morning, don’t you think?” 

“Au contraire, my friend. It’s the perfect level of depth for three in the morning. Three in the morning is the best time to listen to sad songs.” 

“Lemme listen.” He nudges closer to her and leans in. She looks surprised, but disentangles the headphones from around her, shaking her hair loose, and passes them over, rewinding the tape back to the beginning. She watches, a little nervous, as Steve listens to the song, but relaxes when he starts gently bobbing his head. “It’s pretty good.” 

And it is. It comes as no surprise to him that Robin’s taste in music is good. 

“Here, if I turn the volume up and we put the headphones between us, we can both listen.” Robin reaches over, but Steve stops her. 

“Or we could just use my cassette player.” 

“What if we wake your parents?”

“Oh, right, I forgot to say. My parents aren’t here. They’re rarely here anymore,” he says casually, but finds himself watching her reaction. She nods, unexpectedly. 

“I guess that makes two of us basically living alone.” She gently lifts the headphones from his head, flicking his nose, then gets up and wanders to his cassette player on the desk nearby. 

He sits up straight, watching her. He hadn’t been expecting that. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” She slots the tape into the cassette player and presses play, the music filling the room. “My parents are barely home either. It’s funny, they used to be, but not anymore. I’m starting to wonder if they’re avoiding me.”

“Damn,” Steve says, and Robin squeezes back in next to him, stretching her legs out. “It’s a bit weird how alike we are.”

Around them, the singer croons. And resentment rides high but emotions won't grow… 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Steve smiles at her, feeling a wave of affection wash over him. They’ve known each other less than three months, but in the time they’ve spent together they’ve gone through so much together, bonded in ways he couldn’t have ever imagined. It’s easier to talk to Robin than anyone else he’s ever known. Maybe the universe had aligned, just right, for them to meet— after all, if he’d gotten the grades he’d needed, he’d have gone off to college and never would’ve met her. Maybe the universe had gone hey, you there, I’ve got just the person for you. And he’d listened. And the universe had been right.

Love, love will tear us apart again…

“You getting sentimental over there, dingus?” Robin says, pulling him out of his thoughts. 

“I love you,” he says, and he means it, more than anyone he’s met before. “Not romantically,” he adds quickly, seeing her crestfallen expression and the relief that almost instantly replaces it. “I can’t describe it. I know we haven’t known each other that long, and I know I used to be just an asshole you hated, but… There’s something about us, Rob. It’s like we were destined to be friends. Dustin and the other kids, I love them, of course I do, but not like this. And I didn’t love Nancy like this, either. I’ve never felt like this before. It’s like… I dunno. It’s like if I could manifest all the love I’m holding, it would look like you.” 

Robin stares at him, blue eyes unreadable. Then she says, “Manifest is a big word for you.” 

He elbows her, though not harshly. 

“Sorry, sorry.” She flashes him a smile. 

But love, love will tear us apart again…

“I’m not good with words,” Robin says, fidgeting with her hands in her lap. “And I’m—usually—not good with people, either. But it’s different with you. Maybe it’s the shared bond of being kidnapped by Russians, but I feel… safe, around you. You’re easy to talk to in the way no one else is.” She plays with a ring on her finger, twisting it around and around. “Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I… I love you too. In the most platonic way possible, I want to spend all my time with you. Yeah, it’s only been the summer, but… Yeah. I mean, you said it better than I can. I feel the same way.” 

Steve feels his smile widen, the hardest he’s smiled in… Well, ever, he thinks. 

Then love, love will tear us apart again…  

He leans his head on her shoulder and she wraps an arm around him, letting him lean further into her. A yawn comes out of nowhere and he doesn’t fight it, feeling the deep exhaustion that’s settled into his bones taking over, for the first time in a while. 

“Hey, Rob?” he asks, and feels her adjust to look up at him. 

“Hm?” 

“Do you wanna sleep over?” 

She tilts her head, as if considering it, then smiles again. “Yeah. I’d like that.” 

*

“Eddie!” Steve shouts, trying to tighten his grip on Robin. His arms were beginning to ache. “Play Joy Division!”

“Joy Div— What song?” Eddie calls back.

“Love Will Tear Us Apart!” Steve’s voice feels hoarse and his hands are sweaty. Robin remains suspended, hanging between two worlds. He tries her again, hopelessly. “Robin, please! Robin!”

*

Robin stiffens as her mother walks toward her. It’s her mother and it’s not, all at once. The shape of the woman who bore her is contorting, twisting as vine-like tendrils begin to wrap around her. 

“A disappointment to all who know you,” she hears, whispering into her ear, her mother’s voice leaving the last word. She jumps, clapping her hand back to her ear as though the words can worm their way in, somehow. 

“Just give in, Robin…” The last of her mother disappears and Vecna’s shape emerges, standing where the stall door had been. Blocking her escape. “Why keep resisting? See how they all fought for Max… but didn’t bat an eye at you? You don’t really think… they’d miss you, do you?”

“Shut up!” Robin shouts. A sudden rush of adrenaline spurs her and she throws herself past him, scrambling up from the bathroom floor and running out into what she expects to be the school hallway. 

Except it’s not. The room was darker, surgical-looking. She recognises the room with a lurch. 

She slows to a halt, staring at the floor. A scene she’d often replayed in the back of her mind greets her, dread creeping down her spine. On the floor is Steve, bloodied, bruised and unconscious. 

It’s not really him! her mind screams at her, but she can’t stop herself. She runs to where he’s sprawled and drops next to him, leaning over as she tries to find a sign of life. 

“You did that,” Vecna’s voice creeps in again. She jumps, still shaking Steve, only to turn him over and find him completely limp. 

“Steve? Steve.” Robin shakes him, hard. 

“Left alone, while your closest friend took all the beating… Imagine how he felt, seeing you virtually untouched. All that pain, and you went through none of it. Wouldn’t you resent you too?”

She knows it isn’t real, she knows it, but her mouth still dries. Guilt sinks into her, the guilt she’d been pushing away since it had happened. Steve had been beaten so badly, and all that had happened to her was being left alone in an empty room. It hadn’t been fair. 

“People get hurt because of you, Robin… We can stop that. We can save everyone… from the pain you bring,” Vecna says. “You can save everyone.”

She tries to ignore him, feeling for Steve’s pulse, but finds nothing. The guilt burns through her, filling her, overtaking her. It’s what it wants, she thinks, but she can’t tear her eyes from Steve, from the cuts and bruises littering his skin. Why hadn’t she been tortured, too? Why had it been only Steve to go through it all, while nothing happened to her. She’d been slapped, sure, but that had been her fault, she’d spat in one of their faces. Then they’d both been drugged, and even then they went for Steve again. She hadn’t coped, hearing his panicked shouting. She wouldn’t have been able to bear it if he’d been hurt anymore. 

People get hurt because of you. 

She forces herself to get up, to leave Steve behind. It’s not real, she reassures herself, but she’s shaking as she pries open another door. It’s not real. She’s not really leaving him behind. 

She doesn’t recognise the new area she finds herself in. At least, not visually. She has a sneaking suspicion that she recognises it from description, though. 

The new area is red and fleshy, and there are massive spikes sticking out of the ground. She’s not sure if her stomach could sink any lower, but she feels it sinking anyway. There are three people—or at least, what used to be people—fixed to three of the fleshy spikes. She recognises one of them as Chrissy, from the cheerleading team, but she doesn’t know the other two well enough to know their names. She just knows that they’re from Hawkins High. 

The way Max had described it, the red area—Vecna’s domain, of sorts—was where she’d almost died. It hits her, then, for the first time since she’d found herself in this waking nightmare. 

She is going to die. 

As if summoned, a tendril wraps itself around her leg. She yelps, kicking at it in vain, seeing more snaking across the floor towards her. Ahead of her, Vecna walks towards her, slowly, as if he knows he’s already won. 

She tries to run but the tendril around her leg is snaking up, towards her, and she trips, falling to the ground. Classic Robin, she thinks angrily, more tendrils wrapping around her body. Clumsy as ever. 

She’s unable to move as the tendrils lift her, pushing her backwards. She can’t see the destination, but she knows it; she’s looking at the evidence of Chrissy and the two boys. Her back thuds against something solid, confirming her suspicions. 

She makes a half-hearted attempt to wriggle free, to no avail. She’s tired, she realises, her body aching. She’s going to die here, added to the collection of Vecna’s victims, while in reality her body snaps in wrong directions and falls to the ground. Would they leave her body in the Upside-Down? It would be easier for the government, sure, to write her off as a disappearance, not a murder victim, but she isn’t with the government. She’s with Steve and his friends. The others, maybe, would leave her body—she wouldn’t blame them, she thinks, after all, they don’t really know her—but would Steve? 

She feels a pang in her chest. Steve would watch her body contort, see her eyes pop, see the blood run from their sockets. And the kids— as if they haven’t been traumatised enough, she doesn’t think they’ve seen it happen, not in front of them. Eddie had watched it happen in front of him, twice, and now he’ll have to see it happen again, for a third time. And Nancy—she feels short of breath—Nancy found her friend’s body, the aftermath. Would she picture it happening to him as it happens to her? 

She wants to cry out, to scream, to kick something. It’s not fair. It’s not fair that she’s dying, knowing that her death will traumatise an entire group of people, whether or not they care about her. She’s angry with herself, no, furious with herself, for being so inconsiderate. She should’ve separated from the group as soon as she had the first vision. That way, when this happened, there would’ve been no one to witness the horror of it. Perhaps they’d have found her, in her house, maybe, or some other quiet spot, a crime scene with no physical culprit. 

But no. Robin had stayed with them, because she had been scared, and now they were all going to pay the price. Stupid, selfish Robin. 

She thinks of Steve. Steve, her best friend, with her through thick and thin, who she’d trusted with her biggest secret and found nothing but love and acceptance in return, who sleeps beside her on nights they can’t sleep alone. Steve, who already had difficulty sleeping most nights, who had welcomed her into his home, into his life, with no hesitation. Steve, who had kept her secret, even if it meant being badgered by his friends that kept trying to set him up, even though it made him look like he’d been rejected by some nobody from band class. Steve, who would rather accept whatever people thought of him than allow them to think badly of her. 

Steve, who had loved her, and loves her, present-tense, unconditionally. Steve, who less than a week after being kidnapped together, had told her that she was the personification of all the love he had. 

She swallows, feeling a tendril tighten around her mouth. She hopes, if nothing else, that Steve doesn’t stay to see her die. 

Vecna is almost in front of her now. “Robin…” he croons, and she hates his voice, hates the way it grates on her brain. Honestly, perhaps the worst part of the situation, besides the, y’know, death, is that that voice is the last thing she’ll hear. 

Then she hears it, disturbing the eerie quietness. Distant music, far from her, but audible. She strains her ears, trying to listen. She recognises it, kind of. It’s just guitar, but it’s the tune to Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division. She’s heard the song enough times to be able to pick it out at any volume. 

Vecna stops in his tracks, turning his head to look behind him. Then, as if sensing her hope, snaps back to look at her again.

“You’re deluding yourself,” he says, voice soft and menacing. She’s not sure when she started referring to it as a he. “You…”

There's something else, over the music. It's hard to hear with the tendrils wrapping around her head, but it almost sounds like—

Steve’s voice, bellowing out the lyrics. “When routine bites hard and ambitions are low, and resentment rides high but emotions won’t grow—” 

Behind Vecna, there’s a tear in the distance, ripping, ripping, ripping, growing wider by the second. Through it, Robin sees herself, suspended between the two gates, and Steve, wrapped around her in the air, shouting the words as closely to her ears as he can. The music is coming from Eddie’s guitar, she can see him playing frantically, and Nancy’s holding onto Steve— no, keeping Steve held in place, she realises, not to catch him if he falls but to stop him falling, to keep him near her motionless body. 

They care, she realises, her heart beginning to pound once more. They’re trying to save her. 

Distantly, she can make out other voices, Dustin, Lucas and Erica, calling her name, urgent, but not hostile, not like in the vision from earlier. And Max, shouting at her to run towards their voices, to not listen to Vecna, to escape. 

“Love!” Steve shouts, and she can hear him clearly now, louder than the whispers in her head, shouting the words to the tune Eddie’s playing. “Love will tear us apart again!”

Robin bites down, hard, on the tendril touching her lips. It wrenches itself away from her— just for a moment, but a moment is all she needs, forcing her way out of the tendrils’ clutches. She runs, runs harder than she’s ever run in her life, she’s pretty sure. 

As she runs, memories overwhelm her. She thinks of Nancy, teasing her for being a weird runner. Dustin, excitedly telling everyone that Robin had cracked the Russian code, of the odd friendship they’d struck up in the resulting weeks that followed. Vickie, smiling at her. Nancy, Eddie, smiling at her. She thinks of the moment they shared in the Upside-Down version of Nancy’s house, the way they’d smiled at one another, sharing the magic in the way they’d managed to contact the others. She thinks of Steve, laughing with him under the influence of whatever drugs they’d been injected with, the moment they shared in the bathroom, lying in bed next to him the night he calls her his best friend, the conversation where he’d described her as love personified. She’s almost to the hole. She’s almost to her friends— her friends, she thinks, not just Steve’s friends, people who love her and care about her and are trying their damndest to stop her from dying. 

She throws herself through the hole—

—and lands heavily on the mattress, with Steve, his limbs wrapped around her, cut-off mid shout. 

“Rob!” Steve disentangles his limbs from her and jumps up. She lies there, somewhat winded, dizzy from what must be all the blood that rushed to her head. Steve leans down and helps her to her feet. His eyes, she notices, are red, and there are tear tracks on his cheeks. 

She doesn’t have time to take in anything else as he pulls her into the tightest hug she’s ever felt. Behind her, there’s a soft thump as Nancy drops onto the mattress. 

“Robin, thank God,” Nancy says, flying at her and wrapping her arms around her, too. Robin doesn’t have time to react before Dustin lunges at her, quickly followed by Eddie, then Max, then Lucas, though a little awkwardly. Erica gives her a small pat on the back, which is really the best she was ever going to get from Erica, anyway. 

She can feel herself flushing red. Though she appreciates it, she’s not used to so much contact. 

She clears her throat, a little awkwardly. “I’m, um, getting a little crushed.”

The group hug breaks apart, everyone but Steve letting go of her, shuffling backwards to give her space. 

“Steve,” Nancy says, “let her breathe.” 

Steve reluctantly does as she says, holding Robin out at arm’s length, turning her face this way and that. 

“Steeeve,” Robin whines, making him pause. “I’m fine. I promise.”

“Just making sure,” he says, his tone gentle. It reminds her of the way he comforts the kids, when he deliberately makes his voice soothing. He gives her one last quick check before letting her go. 

“How did it happen so fast?” Dustin asks, his voice calmer now that Robin is no longer in danger. Well, active danger, anyway. “I thought there was more than one vision before he struck. Was it just stronger in the Upside-Down?” 

She’s grateful for the easy way out. It doesn’t quite feel like lying if she just agrees. 

She goes to nod but sees Nancy looking at her, realisation dawning on her face. Her insides squirm. Without even saying a word, she knows Nancy’s put two and two together, because of course she has. Nancy Wheeler, student investigator. Robin never stood a chance.

“You saw him before, didn’t you? When everyone was shouting for Max.” Her eyes are narrowed like she’s scrutinising Robin, as if daring her to try and lie her way out. Which is fair, considering Robin had definitely been about to try and lie her way out.

Steve’s head swivels around. “What?” he demands. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t realise, at first, but…” Robin starts, awkward, fiddling with one of her rings. They’re all looking at her again, now, like she’s been thrust into a spotlight. 

“I should’ve realised,” Nancy says, and guilt settles in Robin’s stomach again. Nancy blames herself because Robin was too stupid to speak up? “I’m sorry, Robin. I assumed you were just freaked out generally.” 

It’s not deliberate, but her saying freak causes Robin to wince. “No, no, Nancy, it’s not your fault. It’s mine, I’m a moron, I should’ve said something but…” But nobody noticed, and she wasn’t going to take attention away from a kid who just almost died. “I didn’t want to worry anyone,” she finishes lamely. 

“Idiot!” Steve lightly smacks the back of her head. “You worried us more by floating around!”

“Especially Steve,” Dustin pipes up. “He was freaking. He couldn’t remember your favourite song, and then you were floating and he was shouting—”

“Yes, thank you, Dustin,” Steve says, but there’s no bite in his voice. 

“I didn’t even think I had a favourite song,” Robin admits, running a hand through her hair. It’s messy, presumably from hanging upside down. “How’d you decide on that one?”

Steve, now, looks embarrassed. “Max said to try one linked to a meaningful memory,” he mumbles. “And, I dunno, I just thought, well, the memory was meaningful to me, so, uh, I hoped that, well—” 

“He’s gone red!” Dustin shouts in delight, breaking into a grin. Steve gently smacks Dustin’s arm. 

“Knock it off!” Steve protests, swallowing hard. “It wasn’t anything weird. It was, well… It was just a nice moment.” 

“Yeah,” Robin agrees, sudden affection for her friend washing over her. She pulls Steve back into the hug, just as tightly as he’d hugged her. “Sorry for worrying you, dingus. I guess you were on the money about music associated with meaningful memories though, right, kid?” She directs the question at Max, who gives her a small smile. 

“And hey, we’ve got Steve’s song now, too!” Dustin adds. Robin’s almost certain Steve would’ve smacked him again if he wasn’t being held in her arms. 

“Not to interrupt…” Nancy starts, apologetic, and Robin lets go of Steve. “Just maybe we should get out of here before the cops show up looking for us.” 

“Yeah, this place doesn’t hold the fondest memories for me…” Eddie says quietly. Dustin gives him a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. Right, yeah, Robin thinks. This is the place where he watched Chrissy die. 

“Right.” Steve nods. “Uh, okay. Let’s think about this. Nance, your place is out of the question, cops were there, they’ll be on high alert.”

“Our place is no good either,” Lucas says. “Our parents were with the cops. They’d think to check there.” 

“Max’s place is out, it’s too close to here. Robin, where do you live?” Nancy asks. Robin’s heart jumps into her throat. There’s nothing wrong with her place, per se, but it’s small, and there’s always the chance of her parents being there, particularly if they don’t expect her to be home. She tries to imagine the group of them crowding into her bedroom, so full of her things, and bites her lip. She’s not sure she’s quite at the level of baring her soul to them so completely, not yet.

Thankfully, Steve steps in. “No, Robin’s place is out, too. You guys already mentioned that that professor called the cops on you. They might have made the connection to Robin. We can’t risk it.” He shoots a glance at Robin and she gives him a small, grateful smile. “We can stay at my house for the time being.” 

“Woah, Harrington’s house? I almost feel like a popular kid,” Eddie jokes. 

“Trust me, it’s not worth the excitement,” Robin quips back. “No parties there in a looong time.”

“Yeah, it got taken over by a band kid instead,” Steve directs the statement at her, making her laugh. It feels good to laugh, despite herself. “Messed up all the good energy there or whatever you call it.” 

She laughs again and accidentally catches Nancy’s eye. Nancy’s watching the two of them closely. She doesn’t break eye contact and Robin suddenly feels oddly like she’s under surveillance. 

“Decision made then, let’s go,” Robin strides past Eddie, towards the door to the cabin. As she exits, Steve right beside her, she can feel their eyes on her back, and she doesn’t like it. 

*

They manage to make it to Steve’s house without incident, somehow. Steve’s never been so thankful for his house being so out of the way. 

The kids are sitting downstairs, where he’s left them. Last he’d seen, Lucas and Max had been sitting together on the armchair, her headphones still blaring her song into her head, while Dustin and Erica had sat nearby them, on the sofa. 

As for the rest of them (he’s not sure when they’ve formed a little group of people his own age, but admittedly, it’s nice), they’ve crammed into his bedroom. He’d never admit it, but he’s worried about leaving Robin alone. If Nancy and Eddie can tell, they don’t say anything. He’s pretty sure Robin can tell, but she hasn’t brought it up, so. They’ve all gathered in his room. Nancy’s sitting on the floor, legs crossed daintily, picking at the carpet. Robin’s lying on the bed, one leg draped over the other, and Eddie’s leaning against the wall, hovering by Steve’s desk. As for himself, he's sitting next to Robin, leaning against his headboard. 

“Dude,” Eddie says, after a minute or two of silence. “You have the ugliest room I have ever seen.” 

It breaks the quiet, at least. Robin and Nancy burst out laughing, and Steve feels a smile twitch on his lips.

“Doesn’t it make you feel like you’re in a math book?” Robin laughs, which causes Eddie to join in their laughter.

“It does!” Nancy agrees, through a fit of giggles, and Robin smiles at her. 

“Yeah, yeah, interior design is not my forte,” Steve grumbles, but he knows he’s not actually mad. It’s nice to hear them laughing, particularly after the events of earlier. 

There’s a slight noise by Eddie. Steve looks over at him, a questioning expression on his face.

“Just checking out your tapes,” Eddie says with a shrug. “Might be useful information.”

“They’re mostly Robin’s tapes,” Steve corrects. “She’s always harping on about expanding my music horizons.”

“Uh, yeah, because you’ve never even heard of most of the songs I recommend you.” Robin rolls onto her side, propping her head up with her arm, watching Eddie. “Did you know he didn’t know who Joan Jett is?”

“What? How do you not know Joan Jett?” Eddie splutters. 

“I don’t think Steve knows music, to be honest,” Nancy pipes up. 

“Aw, c’mon. You too, Nance?” Steve shakes his head, putting on a fake pout. Robin tips her head back to look at him and pokes her tongue out, to which he responds by flicking her forehead. 

“Hey, look.” Eddie holds a tape up. Steve squints at it, unable to make out the text. Seeing their puzzled expressions, Eddie continues, “Joy Division.” 

“Too bad it’s not our cover. Think we could run them out of business?” Steve jokes. 

“Well, the singer killed himself, so…” Robin says, leaning back onto the bed. They fall silent again. Steve glances at Robin, his laughter dying in his throat, and sees a pained expression on her face. 

“I need to use the bathroom,” she blurts out, and jumps up from the bed, vanishing into the corridor before any of them can stop her. Nancy and Eddie stare at his doorway wordlessly, then both turn to look at Steve, who shrugs, then immediately feels bad, wondering if he’s betraying his friend. She probably just needs space, he thinks, but worry gnaws at his gut.

Eddie slides over to him, takes a seat on the bed, and lowers his voice. “Listen, man… About what I said before. I’ve changed my mind.”

“What do you mean?” Steve furrows his brow, trying to pinpoint exactly what conversation Eddie’s referring to. 

“What I said about the most romantic shit I’ve ever seen. I was wrong.” Eddie gives him a shit-eating grin. “Clearly I had my sights set on the wrong people because you clinging to Robin like that is really the most romantic shit I’ve seen.”

Steve’s face falls. It’s not Eddie’s fault, really, he knows that. He’s not to know. Still, it irritates him, and he huffs. “Come on man, knock it off.”

He glances at Nancy, seeing her looking at him with interest. She quickly turns her head when he meets her gaze.

He frowns. “What part of ‘platonic with a capital P’ are you two not understanding?” he says, exasperated. “There’s nothing between Robin and I.”

“Dude…” Eddie shakes his head. “Are you trying to convince us, or yourself?”

“Oh, shut up,” Steve snaps, and sees Eddie looking taken aback. He’s being rude, he knows it, but he can’t bring himself to care. He swings his legs off the bed. “I’m gonna go make sure Robin’s okay.” 

He gets up and stops in the doorway. Nancy and Eddie both watch him warily, looking a little uncomfortable. “Seriously, both of you. Platonic. Learn the word.”

*

She’s only been in the bathroom a matter of minutes before there’s a quiet knock at the door. “Robin? It’s Steve.”

She doesn’t move for a moment, continuing to rest her head against Steve’s sink. Then it occurs to her that if she doesn’t respond, Steve’s gonna assume the worst. He’s probably preparing to kick the door in as she sits there.

Slowly, she leans over and unlocks the door. She doesn’t open it; she doesn’t need to. Steve opens the door, edging into the room, then closes the door behind him, relocking it. Within moments, he’s joined her on the bathroom floor, sitting opposite her. It’s a particularly difficult feat considering the size of the bathroom and he has to bend his legs to fit across from her. 

“We’ve got to stop hanging out in bathrooms,” he says, and her lips twitch into the semblance of a faint smile. 

“You’re the one that keeps following me into them. People are gonna talk.” Almost as soon as she says it, her smile fades. Steve watches, a concerned expression on his face, as she rests her chin on her knees. 

“Listen, Rob… You don’t have to tell me, obviously, but just in case the only thing stopping you talking is everyone else… What did you see?” Steve asks, his voice gentle. There’s something about his presence that makes her want to spill her guts out to him. Maybe it’s the comfort she knows he’ll provide. He’s good at that kind of stuff. 

“He must’ve targeted me when he realised he’d lost Max,” Robin mumbles. “Because the first thing I saw, we’d failed. Max…” She shudders at the memory. “Max… Didn’t survive it. It was awful. Her limbs all snapped in different directions, then her eyes burst, then… Then she just fell.” 

Robin worries at her bottom lip. It’s another habit she can’t seem to shake, even when she tastes blood. Steve reaches his hand out for her to hold and she takes it, interlocking their fingers. His hand is warm. It grounds her, just slightly. 

“It was awful. That was bad enough, like, it was genuinely horrifying. But then you started shouting at me, blaming me for taking too long with Nancy, and Nancy backed you up, saying that I couldn’t be serious, and then everyone just started yelling, saying I’d killed her, saying that it was my fault. You were there, except it wasn’t you, but it sounded like you, it sounded so real.” She’s surprised at how steady her voice is. “But then I heard the clock, and there it was, where Max had fallen. A grandfather clock, like we saw in the Creel house, but obviously I didn’t know that then. It sounds so shit, but… I was so relieved. Like, it wasn’t real, he’d only gotten me, not Max. I’d closed my eyes, then when I opened them, everything was back to normal, except Max was being held by Lucas, not floating. Nancy noticed me then, but I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. Like, this kid just nearly died, and I’m gonna pop up and go ‘Oh, hey, actually, I’m dying too’? It’s just a dick move.” 

Steve watches as she talks, clearly listening intently, but doesn’t speak. Maybe that’s what keeps her talking.

The words spill out of her in a rush. “I think… I think it was kinda a selfish reason, too. Like… It makes sense and logically I’m not mad, I could never actually be mad about it, but in the moment I was upset because nobody noticed it happened to me. Nancy was the only one who took any kind of notice and even she missed the mark. Which isn’t an attack on any of you, obviously, it just, y’know, made me feel shitty. Like I was missable. Maybe I wouldn’t have thought about it like that if I hadn’t, y’know, been plagued by visions of you saying you hated me and that you’d never actually want to hang around me, but—” 

“Hey, hey, hey. You know that’s not true, right?” Steve interrupts her, giving her hand a squeeze. “None of it, but particularly any of the bits with me. Even if Max hadn’t… It wouldn’t have been your fault. And you’re not missable. I miss you every minute I spend apart from you. I’m sorry I didn’t notice, Rob.” 

She feels her face flush, which she hates. Almost a year on, she’s still not good with affection. It’s too personal, too perceiving. 

“‘S not your fault,” she says, but squeezes his hand in return. “That’s just why I didn’t bring it up. Also partially because I didn’t want to be thrust into the centre of attention.”

“Which is where you ended up anyway,” Steve points out. 

“Yeah, well, I guess I was hopeful that it wouldn’t happen again.” Robin frowns, a small pinch between her brows. “Like a moron.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Steve says. He readjusts himself so that he’s pressed into her and gives her hand another squeeze. Slowly, she rests her head on his shoulder, letting out a soft sigh. 

“It just… sucked. So much.” Way to state the obvious, Robin. “That wasn’t even the worst of it. I’d thought I’d gotten off kinda easy, y’know, like it hadn’t really rooted around my fears or anything… Until it did.” She falls quiet. “And there was so much of it.” 

She blinks, hard. She doesn’t cry, hasn’t for years now. She refuses to start now, of all times. Like, seriously— from just talking about the experience? Not even during the experience?

“What else happened?” Steve asks, his voice soft. His head is turned in her direction; his breath tickles the top of her head. 

“I thought I was climbing, but I fell into… Somewhere. I dunno. I was back in the high school, in the girls’ bathroom, and I could hear some girls whispering about there being a lesbian in the school. I recognised Nancy’s voice and I must’ve made a sound, because they heard me. It was Nancy and Vickie, though obviously not really them, and they both started, like, attacking me. Verbally, though. Vickie was disgusted with me, and Nancy asked if I’d been trying to corrupt her, and then you showed up and I was so happy to see you and you were telling them to get away from me but then… But then…” her bottom lip trembles. “You called me a freak, told them I was a lesbian, told me you’d kill me if I ever went near any of you again. Deep down, I knew it wasn’t really you, but it was just so real.”

“Rob—” Steve starts, but she’s found her steam, and now that she’s started she can’t stop.

“Then it was my mom in the bathroom and she was calling me a disappointment, saying I’d disgraced the family. She started changing and vines started crawling towards me and then that… Thing… was there. Started asking if I really believed I’d be missed. It was so gross. I managed to run, but leaving the bathroom took me to the room where we’d been with the Russians, and you were lying on the floor, not moving, not breathing, and I was trying to wake you and you wouldn’t respond and then that thing was saying that it was my fault, that I kept hurting the people closest to me, that you’d taken all of the beatings but I hadn’t been touched and that you resented me for it and that I could stop hurting people if I just… stayed. I ran, again, but ended up in this red place, the same place Max described, but I was so tired and he was starting to sound more and more right and…” she trails off. “Then I heard you.”

Steve is quiet for a moment. Then, “It really fucked with you.”

“Yeah, tell me about it.” She breathes out. She hadn’t even realised she’d been holding her breath. “I saw you all, too. And myself. It was trippy, like watching a film. I was floating, you were hanging on to me mid-air, everyone was shouting, Eddie had his guitar and you were singing. You were singing the song from the night you called me your best friend.”

“I feel like it was less singing, more frantic yelling,” he says. She raises her hand—the one he isn’t holding—and makes a ‘so-so’ gesture. “I’m so goddamn glad it worked, though.”

She opens her mouth to respond but it’s his turn to shush her. 

“I’d never call you a freak, or tell anyone about what you’ve told me. When the Russians brought us back together after capturing us? Well, when I could see you, anyway. I was just so thankful they hadn’t hurt you the way they hurt me. I’d never resent you for that. I’d never resent you full stop. I dragged you into all the messed up bullshit I’ve seen and I never would have forgiven myself if you’d hurt you more than they had. Hell, I hated myself enough for them hurting you to begin with.”

“But it wasn’t your fault I got hurt,” she replies softly. “I brought it on myself when I spat at them.”

“I was the one who got you caught up in everything. Anything that happened to you would be on my conscience forever.” 

He pauses, twisting his body around to be able to look at her. Unable to rest her head against his shoulder, she raises her head to meet his eyes.

“Rob… I was fucking terrified. Seeing you stood there, completely unresponsive, so un-Robin … it just about killed me. I couldn’t do anything. Everyone was yelling, they were shouting for your favourite song, but I had nothing and then you started rising.” He shudders again at the memory. “When Max had risen, we’d already been playing her music. We hadn’t even started on your song when you started rising. I just knew we were losing you and that there was nothing I could do to stop it. I couldn’t even think of a song you liked until Max started shouting about meaningful memories. All I could do was cling to you as if that would stop anything from happening. Like I could protect you from it by just hanging on.”

To her utter shock, Steve starts crying. Not just crying, with a couple of tears. Full-on sobbing, crying. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay…” she soothes, pulling him into another hug. He clings to her, holding her tightly, again, as if she might vanish if he loosens his grip. 

“You were dying, Rob,” he sobs, burying his face into her shoulder. “You were gonna die and there was nothing I could do about it. Demogorgons, demodogs, whatever— those I can deal with. I can hit them, I can put myself between them and the people I care about. But this? I was helpless. I wasn’t even just faced with the prospect of your death. You were dying in my arms and I was helpless to stop it.” 

“Steve,” she whispers, feeling tears prick at her own eyes. Fuck. All the years of keeping her tears back, and her best friend crying is what undoes it all. 

She sobs, wrapping her arms around him. They cry together, on the bathroom floor, tangled in a mess of limbs, Steve-and-Robin and Robin-and-Steve. 

Robin’s not sure how much time passes, but she’s cried herself out. Her shoulder is sodden from where Steve’s cried on her and she suspects his is just as bad. 

“God,” she says, slowly lifting her head once more, shifting so that she ends up cradling Steve in her arms, almost. “We are such… dinguses.”

She expects Steve to laugh, or maybe agree, but when he lifts his head she’s met with a serious expression.

“Robin?”

“Yeah?”

“Please never put me through that again. My heart won’t survive it.” He reaches up, and touches her cheek with his hand. She manages to resist the urge to turn her head away out of habit, and leans into his touch as he gently wipes away the tears on her cheek. 

“I’ll try not to,” she replies, and he shakes his head.

“I mean it. No matter the situation, if you’re worried, or scared… You let me know. Don’t go through it alone.” 

“I will.” She finds his hand and interlocks their fingers once more. “Let you know, that is. And that goes for you and all, at the first sign of trouble you let me know, okay?”

“Okay.” He gently plants a kiss on her knuckles. “It’s a deal.” 

It’s another minute before either of them moves.

“I think we’ve been sappy enough, Harrington,” Robin says eventually. “Statistically, someone must be needing to use the bathroom by now.”

“It’s about time we got off the bathroom floor, at least,” he agrees. “I keep the house clean, but still. Why is it always bathrooms we have these moments in? We can’t be normal and share a moment in the kitchen, or something?” 

With that, he hoists himself up, helping her to her feet the same way he’d done earlier. 

“Unfortunately, Steve, a truth of the universe is that losers spend a lot of time in bathrooms,” Robin responds, wiping her eyes quickly with her free hand. Gently, she uses her thumb to wipe away Steve’s tear tracks, too. 

“Since when are we losers?” he argues, and she bites back a grin.

“Since we cried in the bathroom, dingus. It’s, like, the number one thing losers do in movies.”

“That is true,” he muses. “Damn. How the mighty fall.” He peers at their reflections in the mirror. She looks, too, and sees how red their eyes are, how splotchy their skin looks. 

Steve meets her eye in the mirror. “Reckon they’d believe we were smoking?”

“No, but I’ll commit to any lie you want to tell.” She unlocks the bathroom door, finally, and they emerge into the brighter lights of the landing. Steve peers over the railway to see Dustin looking up at them. 

“Robin’s okay,” Steve says, and Robin gives a little wave. Dustin waves back, raising an eyebrow at their joined hands. Or maybe it was raised at the two of them leaving the bathroom together. Steve sticks his tongue out at him and Robin rolls her eyes, but she’s thankful for the sense of normality. 

As they approach Steve’s door, they hear a sudden scrambling. Steve opens the door to reveal Nancy and Eddie sitting on Steve’s bed, both of them clearly trying to look innocent, but they’re both breathing a little heavily. 

Steve squints at them. Eddie looks guiltily in the direction of Steve’s bedroom wall; the one connected to the bathroom. 

“Were you… Were you trying to listen in?” Steve says, incredulously. 

“You were taking a while!” Eddie protests. “We were worried maybe you’d both gotten Vecna’d.”

“But not worried enough to knock?” Robin raises an eyebrow at him and he closes his mouth. 

“We didn’t hear anything,” Nancy says, and her voice is so honest that Robin can’t help but believe her. Damn Nancy Wheeler and her convincing tone. Though maybe Robin’s just a sucker for a pretty girl. 

“You’re damn right you didn’t hear anything, because nothing went on,” Steve says sternly. “God, you two are too nosy for your own goods. Letting you both loose in here was probably a mistake.”

“We didn’t snoop!” Eddie puts his hands up in mock defence. Then, when both Steve and Robin stare him down, he adds, “... much.”

“Wheeler, Munson, you are a terrible combination. We’re gonna have to find you a babysitter.” Steve shakes his head and sits down on the bed.

“Not to worry, I know a good one,” Robin says, smiling, flopping onto the bed next to him. Her head ends up resting against Eddie’s arm, her leg is over Nancy’s, and her hand’s still linked with Steve’s, but she finds herself not minding. 

“Yeah?” Steve takes the bait without even realising.

“Yeah, yeah. Got some good references for him. Looked after, what, seven kids? Has really stupid hair,” Robin continues. Nancy giggles, causing Robin to swallow hard, especially when Nancy leans over to lay down next to them, her hair brushing against her. Christ, she needs to get it together. 

“Oh, I know this babysitter,” Nancy adds, her tone one of teasing. “I hear it extends to people his own age, too.”

“Ha ha,” Steve says flatly, as the penny drops. “You’re hilarious. Really.” 

“I know.” Robin gives him a soft nudge. He and Eddie both lay down, too, so that the four of them are lying together, most of their legs dangling off the end of the bed. 

“Harrington?” Eddie says from somewhere behind Robin.

“Mhm?” 

“You’ve got to get a bigger bed, man. How you manage to fit one person comfortably, I don’t know.”

Nancy laughs again, and Robin joins in, and within a matter of moments, the four of them are laughing together. Robin stares up at Steve’s ceiling, feeling the comfort of the people around her—her friends, she knows now, feeling warm at the thought—and thinks, for the first time in a while, that she’s going to be okay.