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I pulled the child-sized scissors to my bangs and cut, small clippings of my hair falling to the bathroom sink. It's not the most efficient way of getting your hair cut, but I never seem to be able to find the time to get it done professionally. I had to get going soon, and my hair was annoyingly in my face. This seemed like the perfect solution.
I put down the scissors and looked at myself in the mirror. My hair was just messy enough for it to look nice and I had my favourite black turtleneck sweater on, as well as some jeans and a pair of black converse. I quickly cleaned my glasses and put them on before grabbing my things as I walked out the door of my apartment.
Class was never fun. Everyone there was the same; shallow and overall not interesting. But something about today was different. I placed my things down next to me and sat in my seat, noticing a new face among the others. He was small, with well-kept black hair and captivating electric-blue eyes. He didn't look like the others and he certainly didn't act like the others either. It was as if he was almost stuck in his own world.
He wore a green sweater with a white button-up underneath, black dress pants, and black shoes. His raven hair was a nice contrast to his perfect pale skin and I felt the urge to go up to him and push it aside, just to see more of him. The colour of his eyes was almost shocking and it'd be hard to believe they weren't contacts if it wasn't for the fact that he doesn't look like the type to wear them, let alone even know what they are.
I didn't even notice I was staring until I came back to reality, him staring back at me. The look he gave me was enough to take my breath away. It was a mixture of confused and intrigued, almost matching my own as I studied his features. At that point there was no going back. I picked up my stuff and moved to the seat next to his, giving him a little smile before the professor started the lesson.
During the middle of class, I pulled a sticky note out of my bag and wrote down 'wanna hang after class?', then slipped it to the boy next to me. It immediately grabbed his attention as he looked down to read it, then wrote something down on it and handed it back.
'Sure why not'
God, his handwriting was immaculate. It looked as if he spent a good amount of time trying to get it to look just the way he wanted it to. I made a mental note to ask him about it later then stuck the sticky note in my personal book, wanting to study his handwriting some more later.
Class couldn't have been any slower. But once it finally did end, I packed up my stuff and turned to him, excited to get to know him more. He was like no one I've ever seen before. His page in my notebook was definitely going to be fun to write.
He was packed too, standing up and waiting for me as I had gotten lost in thought again. I stood up and we walked out of the room, making our way outside and into the blinding light of the sun.
It was autumn, my favorite time of the year, and the leaves were pretty shades of reds and greens and yellows. We sat down underneath a tree, sitting fully in the shade, our backs against it and our shoulders about an inch away from touching. "Hey, my name's Emilio, sorry if I scared you during the beginning of class. I tend to space out." He gave me an adorable little smile, looking up at me as he spoke. "It's fine, I was staring at you too. I'm Tobias, it's nice to meet you." Tobias was such a perfect name.
I reached into my bag and pulled out my cigarette pack, frowning when I saw I only had one left. "What's that?" Tobias asked, pointing to my pack. "It's a cigarette, I only have one left though. Is it ok if I smoke?" He gave me a confused look, slightly nodding. He watched my every move as I pulled out a lighter and lit the cig, bringing it to my lips before drawing in a breath.
Tobias hesitantly reached out when I pulled my hand down. "Do you wanna try? It's not very good for you," I handed it to him, "Do what you want. I won't stop you." He looked at it in his hand and tried to copy what I did, coughing a bit as he did so. "Holy shit you didn't say it would be like that-" I chuckled a bit and held out my hand towards him. "If you don't like it, that's fine. Don't force yourself."
He shook his head and pushed my hand down, taking it to his lips again to breathe in, then handed it back to me. The smoke blew out of his mouth, billowing over his perfect features as he closed his eyes and leaned on me, resting his head on my shoulder. I could feel my face heating up with blush and I took another intake of the small cylindrical object in my hand.
We sat like that for a while, passing the cigarette to each other as we talked about whatever stupid thing we wanted to. He was surprisingly easy to talk to, and his soothing voice was almost putting me to sleep. The only thing keeping me awake was the adrenaline from being so close to him. I put out the cig on the ground and placed it into a tiny pouch that I kept in my bag, not wanting to litter, and rested my head on top of his. "So what's your family life like?"
Tobias seemed to stiffen at the question, but soon relaxed and sighed. "The only good thing about them is being away from them. My dad wasn't a good man. He did a lot of awful things. It's a miracle I was even able to move this far away, I just left one day and never went back." I frowned and nodded, trying to remember everything in my head to write down later. "I can relate, my dad did some very unforgivable things too. My poor mom still has no idea what he did, but I don't want her to have to worry about stupid things like that. It's the past now, that's all that matters. What type of things did your dad do?"
"Firstly, I grew up in a church literally in the middle of nowhere. The only things I had to pass time were the bible, playing with or without my siblings, or wandering the woods. And I was barely ever allowed to play in the woods. Everyday was almost torture as it was. After something... bad.. happened, my dad seemed to take a certain disliking to me. None of my other siblings, though."
"Disliking?"
"He... He would beat me, abuse me, threaten me, basically anything if I did something wrong. He would constantly use the excuse of it being discipline from god. I couldn't stand it. One day, though, I went out to a cemetery with my uncle and talked to him about it. After that my dad seemed to be softer on me, even if it was only a little bit." He shuffled a bit as he spoke, as if he was uncomfortable with what he was saying. "You ok? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, please don't feel forced." He smiled slightly. "It's ok, really. It feels nice talking about it, ya know?"
"I've got some cheap booze back at my apartment, wanna do get drunk and talk some more?" I gave him a mischievous grin and he chuckled, getting up and pulling me up by my hand with a perfect smile on his face. "Yeah!"
We walked to my apartment, laughing and talking the entire way there. I unlocked the door and we walked in, him observing my apartment. It was clean--I hated messy areas--and overall cozy. He took off his shoes and politely sat down on my couch as I walked across the room to the kitchen and pulled out two bottles. Opening them up, I brought them to the couch and handed him one, taking a sip of mine. He drank his, and soon enough we were both quite tipsy.
He looked beautiful with the light blush spread across his face. He was leaning against the arm on the opposite side of the couch from me, the bottle lazily gripped in his hand as he smiled. I moved over to him, sitting between his legs, and reached my hand up to cup his cheek and brush away some of his hair. His expression changed into a soft surprised look, yet didn't do anything to stop me.
"There's something... different about you. You're not disgusting like the others. You're so wonderfully strange in a way that I can't describe using any other word than just perfect." He gently smiled and looked away, the blush on his face deepening a shade. "Thanks, I've never had anyone say such a thing to me before."
"Oh? Well, what have people said to you?"
He solemnly chuckled. "Nothing nice. Freak, disappointment, the works. Mostly by my dad, but others as well." My eyebrows furrowed as I heard his voice shake, but I didn't interrupt him as he continued. "And now I'm getting drunk in some random guy's apartment, trauma dumping to him." Eyes closing, his smile widened as if he was laughing at his situation.
"You're free to leave if you want to, I'm not stopping you," I said, moving to get up. His eyes opened and he grabbed the fabric of my black sweater, keeping me in place hovering over him. "No- I like it here. Sorry, I wasn't trying to complain."
A smile spread across my face as I fought the urge to laugh. "Tobias, you weren't complaining. I just wanted to make sure you didn't feel like I was kidnapping you or something."
His eyes slightly widened. "Could you say that again?"
"Kidnapping?"
"No, my name."
"Tobias?"
He looked away, smiling. "It sounds nice when you say it. Is that weird?" I chuckled, my hand playing with his soft, black hair. "Nah, I don't think it's weird."
We went through a few bottles, which now laid empty on the coffee table. His sweater was off and I was working on the buttons of his white, starched button-up. Our legs were tangled as he messed with my hair, a lazy smile on his face. I undid his last button, and he withdrew his hands to slip it off, and it fell onto the floor beside the couch.
I could feel my face heat up as I looked at him, my hands itching to roam his pale, milky-white complexion. "Am I allowed to touch you?" I stuttered a bit on my words, and he chuckled, intertwining his fingers into mine. "Of course."
---
I woke up with a killer headache. I didn't notice where I was at first, staring up at my living room ceiling. It took me a moment to remember who the person laying on me was, his black hair laid messily against my freckled chest. My face heated up as I realized we were both barely dressed.
Tobias was sleeping calmly, and I watched as his chest rose and fell in even breaths. Bringing my hand up, I laid it on his head and softly played with his hair. I pulled my phone from the coffee table beside us and checked the time. 6 AM. Letting out a sigh, I put my phone back down and closed my eyes to try to get at least one more hour of sleep.
I felt him stirr, shuffling slightly as he brought his arms closer to his chest. He paused for a moment, then rested a spread-out hand on my lower torso, feeling what was underneath him. I opened an eye to look at him, keeping one eye closed, as I felt him move his head to look at my face. His look of confusion quickly turned to surprise as he saw me, warmth flooding his usually pale cheeks.
"Oh my god- I'm so sorry-," He stuttered out as he hastily got off of me, looking around for his clothes. "Don't look, I'm not decent-"
"I swear I won't," I said, closing my eyes once more and using my hands to cover them, sitting up as I did so. I heard shuffling and a bump followed by a slight yelp. "You ok?"
"Yup, I'm fine." He muttered something under his breath--perhaps something in German?--then sighed. "You can look now."
Opening my eyes and removing my hands, I saw him standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, looking away, red still colouring his cheeks.My jeans were still on, although unbuttoned and loose on my hips.. I grabbed my sweater from off the floor next to the couch and pulled it over my head, getting caught on my glasses. I swore under my breath and took them off before putting it on the rest of the way, placing my glasses back on my face when I was done.
"I am so sorry for falling asleep on you last night, it was super inappropriate- I don't even remember how I got there-" His words came out in a jumbled mess, panic lacing his tone.
"Hey, it's ok, I don't remember either so I guess we're in the same boat."
He looked at me, concerned. "You're not mad?"
"No, why would I be?" Letting out a yawn, I stood up and stretched.
"I guess, I don't know, I'm just used to people being mad at me," He slightly mumbled, looking away before speaking, "I'm sorry to ask you this, but I have an early class in about 30 minutes and I won't be able to get to my place and get ready in time. Could I borrow some of your clothes..?"
"Yeah, of course," I said and smiled, taking him to my room and picking out some clothes for him. He gratefully accepted them and went into the bathroom to change.
As I was pulling on new pants and about to grab a new shirt, I heard a loud bump and thud from the bathroom. I walked closer to the door, trying to listen to what he was doing. "Uh, everything ok in there?" I yelled.
"Yeah, yup, it's all fine!" His voice slightly wavered, a telltale sign that it was not, in fact, all fine.
He then quickly unlocked the door, his face already red and burning hotter seeing as I once again failed to have a shirt on, and yelled, "I have to go now, thank you for the clothes!," before leaving and closing the front door behind him. I checked in the bathroom to make sure nothing was broken, and I noticed myself in the mirror. I had a few small bruises littered across my shoulders, neck, and collarbone.
"...What the fuck happened last night?"