Chapter Text
No sooner were grace and blessings at After Church Lunch said then Daddy had cleared his throat to talk business.
"Now, I'm sure many of you are aware of the article which concerns our church that appeared in the New York Post this Saturday."
"Oh Daddy, ain't nobody pay attention to that ole rag!" Jesse says.
"It is nationally syndicated, on every grocery store shelf!" Martin counters.
"It's two steps above a tabloid." Amber says, stepping to her husband's defense.
"It's news." Daddy says. "And it's about us, one or two of us at least. Which means we, as a church family and as our own family must address it."
"It's not from that mean reporter the You-Know-Whos You-Know-What is it, Daddy?" Kelvin asks.
"No, it appears this is from a different reporter that caught up with some of us over the past month for brief statements that he's compiled into... whatever this article is saying."
"I, uh, actually haven't seen this news article Grandpa. What is it saying?" Gideon says.
"Come on, Son! You gotta turn on your push notifications and your text alerts for the family!" Jesse lightly scolds.
"Well, Gideon the title of this article is, and I apologize to your brothers for having to hear this but "Secret Sodomite Shame: The Hidden Homosexuals in Gemstone Ministries". It alleges that the Church is attempting to mask and suppress the same-sex attracted members of church leadership, members of this family."
"Is it about Gideon?" Jesse asks incredulous. "Because son believe me I have not spoken a word about that to anyone."
"Thanks momma but for the record I-"
"-It was not about Gideon." Daddy says. "It concerns Kelvin."
"Me?" Kelvin squeals. "Daddy, I have taken a celibacy pledge and I have not broken it I do not know how anyone could slander me like this."
"It's libel when it's in print, dumbass." Judy snipes.
"I don't know how anyone could libel me like this!" Kelvin repeats.
"Well son that's part of it." Eli explains "See your celibacy pledge is being used as evidence we're discouraging you from leading a properly homosexual lifestyle. The reporter has some choice quotes that point towards me..." Eli puts on his reading glasses and picks up a printed out version of the web article. "Leveraging his (that would be my) complete financial stranglehold on Kelvin Gemstone to forbid him from consumating his relationship to his long-time partner and co-pastor Keefer "Keefe" Chambers on pain of excommunication, expulsion, and exile."
"Relationship?" Keefe, who had thus far kept his head down, content to eat in silence next to Kelvin, looks concerned at his housemate and patron.
"Daddy they are graspin at straws. Straws I say!" Kelvin says animatedly. "Keefe and I have never been intimate!"
"Gross, Kel. Just call it sex."
"Shut it, Judy" Kelvin snaps.
"Son, if we're going to address this I need assurances. Are you and Keefe in a romantic partnership, consummated or otherwise?"
"No daddy" melds with "No Dr. Gemstone."
"Have you ever thought about it? Speak plainly now."
"O- once or twice." Kelvin admits, turning a burning red in the process.
"All the time" Keefe says under his breath, so low only Kelvin can hear.
"I cannot abide having our Church dragged through the mud on account of a rumor. Until this blows over no talking directly to the press. Pass them all off to the PR department." Daddy adjusts himself in his chair and continues. "In the meantime, perhaps it's best if you boys aren't seen together."
Keefe's soft whine of hurt is drowning out by Kelvin's cry.
"Out of the question, Daddy! We will not back down to these charlatans who think to spread lies against us!" Kelvin knows what days apart does to Keefe and he will not risk it.
Eli is momentarily silent before he says "Kelvin." as Kelvin shrinks slightly towards Keefe who reassuringly grips his hand. "You and Keefe are the subject of a smear campaign and we will not tolerate it as a family. You either spend some time apart or we..." He trails off and begins glancing between the concerned faces of his children and their spouses (and Keefe) "actually this is a conversation for just the three of us. We'll have no more talk of this hit piece at the table. Let's eat."