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33 DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING - THE PODS

Mingyu has a checklist. The producers asked him about what’s on it, during his first on-camera interview, but he answered with, “just the important things,” and left it at that. The truth is, all of it is important to Mingyu. 

When he started compiling the checklist months ago — before he even got the email that he had been cast — he had been told it was a bad idea. He was out running laps at the park with Jungkook, who had said, “I see why you want to organize your own thoughts and values, but shouldn’t you prioritize what you’re feeling for the other person first?” 

Mingyu had huffed as they slowed down to take one of their breaks. “With that kind of thinking, you’re lucky you ended up with someone as nice and put together as Jimin-hyung.” 

He chugged half of a plastic water bottle, then passed it to Jungkook. 

“Well, of course! Isn’t finding true love about being lucky?” Jungkook took a swig of water while Mingyu looked at him in disbelief. The ring on Jungkook’s finger glinted in the sunlight, almost mocking. 

“Marriage. This is marriage,” he said, as if the wedding band on Jungkook’s finger didn’t make it clear that Jungkook was already familiar with the concept. In many ways, Jungkook’s experience of love and commitment was fundamentally different from Mingyu’s. It’s why Mingyu expected it when Jungkook continued to blink at him with his mouth all puffed up, still full of water. He clicked his tongue anyway. “Ah, you’re seriously lucky if you have no clue what the difference is. Look, not everyone is like you, Jungkook-ah. You never needed to do something like this in the first place.” 

Jungkook finally swallowed and shook his head, stubborn. 

“You can be lucky anywhere,” he insisted. “Only a few people out of hundreds will get cast. Just by getting in, you would be lucky. And if you get to meet someone you develop feelings for, that’s fate.”

As if, Mingyu thought, but he dropped it because there was no use explaining it to Jungkook, who married the first and only person he has ever been in a relationship with. 

“Seungkwan-ah, you’re practically married, too. What do you think?” Mingyu had asked the following day over weekly brunch. Seungkwan was already waving one hand at him, while daintily wiping his mouth with the other hand. 

“Yeah, yeah! Make your list!” Seungkwan made encouraging noises. Next to him, Seokmin was laughing into his yogurt cup. Mingyu couldn’t tell if this was one of those times where Seungkwan was only egging him on because Mingyu wasn’t going to change his mind anyway. Maybe that hardly matters, in the end. 

“Do we really think Mingyu is going to find someone who fits this list?” Seokmin mused. “Really, what are the odds of that, though? Seems like it will be hard.” 

Mingyu was getting tired of explaining himself. 

“It’s not about odds, or being lucky,” he said. He searched his brain to try and put his logic into words, because how was it that he could get it but others couldn’t? “If it’s hard, that’s okay. Because it’s about figuring out what you want from your life and how a whole other person with their own needs and goals can fit into it.” Seungkwan and Seokmin were both looking at him in awe, until he continued, “Loving someone is the easy part.” 

“Ah, hyung.” Seungkwan poured him more juice from the pitcher. “Taking care of someone isn’t the same as loving them, you know.” 

“Yah, I don’t know about any of that. But you should just do what you want as always.” Seokmin was wearing a dumb face. Mingyu didn’t know how to describe it. It was just dumb.

 “None of it is easy because you won’t make it easy,” Seungkwan said simply, pushing the glass towards him. “And remember this is a dating program where they have everything up to the wedding details set for you. Now, tell me. Are you really prepared to tell a stranger everything about yourself? Let’s practice right now. What is the most embarrassing dream you‘ve had about a teacher — ” 

And fine, the list itself wasn’t easy to make. It took four weeks, six drafts, and in the end, eight pages in the little notebook Mingyu is allowed to bring into the pods. But the effort was worth it, because to Mingyu it always is. 

Please rank today’s dates from your most to least liked. This will determine your subsequent schedule. 

In the common lounge, Mingyu stares at the sheet of paper the producers handed him after his last pod date. It’s the first day, so he got to meet with all ten contestants on the other side of the experiment. He only had twenty minutes with each of them, but with his checklist it was enough time to eliminate half. At the bottom of the paper, he writes 6 through 10 followed by five names, all on the same line. He wouldn’t need to be meeting with them anymore. There are nine more days in the pods, and Mingyu figures that’s enough time to dedicate to his top five rankings so he can determine whether or not he’ll actually marry anyone here. He lists the remaining five names in a random order and is the first to submit his sheet. 

The next day, he’s called early into the pods. 

There are ten of them lined up in two rows of five. The group Mingyu is in has access to one row, and the contestants in the second group have access to the other. The pods have common lounges on each side to accommodate the two groups. Everyone pretty much spends all day in the lounges, since their phones have been confiscated and they’re not allowed to go outside. Otherwise, the producers have to shuttle them to and from their sleeping quarters located outside the studio warehouse, to prevent the two groups from running into each other.  

The pod itself is nice and comfy. There’s a plush couch with plenty of cushions in the center of the room and a wide oak table that hosts refreshments, a penholder affixed with the Netflix logo on it, and small succulent plants. The decorations are cozy, with the walls full of built-in shelves, neutral art pieces, and more plants. The whole room is clearly set up so that contestants can almost overlook the 360-degree motion cameras recording their every move. Everything is picture-perfect but still soothing, and it even smells like an expensive hotel, something vaguely floral and earthy. 

The focus of each pod is the massive mahogany silhouette of a pine tree taking up one of the walls, backlit in a soft yellow light. It’s framed by beautiful pink-purple mugunghwa flowers hung up in strands from the ceiling. This is the in-between wall, through which two people from both groups can communicate.

Mingyu bows to one of the cameras and then greets the pine tree wall before settling onto the couch. 

“Good morning. It’s Mingyu.” 

“Hello, Mingyu-ssi. It’s Jeonghan,” the other pod greets back. 

Jeonghan? Mingyu furrows his brow and quickly flips his notebook open on his lap, scanning the page of summary notes he had made yesterday. He finds “? / X” next to Yoon Jeonghan’s name and remembers that he’d placed him in his bottom rankings.

“You met me yesterday,” Jeonghan says when Mingyu doesn’t respond right away. 

Not we met but you-Mingyu met me. Mingyu glances at the camera in the corner of the room and hurries to answer. 

“Of course. I know. It’s just… early.” Mingyu winces, knowing that it sounds like an excuse to his own ears. 

“Ah, so you ranked me that low, huh?” Jeonghan doesn’t sound upset. In fact, he sounds almost delighted by this. Confused, Mingyu still feels the need to apologize. 

“I’m sorry,” he says at once. 

“I ranked you as my number one, you know. That must be why we’re meeting again.” 

“I’m sorry,” Mingyu repeats, embarrassed this time. He was so focused on narrowing down his own options, planning to be more impressive to the people he only really cared about later on, that he didn’t even think that anyone would rank him number one from the start. There’s a tiny part of him that wants to be proud of himself, but this was through no effort of his own. He’s mostly confused. 

“I just didn’t think I made that big of an impression on you, Jeonghan-ssi,” he adds awkwardly.  

“Why?” 

“Um, that’s…”

“Because you spent a minute introducing yourself and describing your upstanding background, then the rest of the time asking me questions like it was a job interview, could that be why?“ 

Mingyu feels his face burn. Is that what he had done?

“It left a very big impression on me, Mingyu-ssi. So please tell me, were my answers that bad?”

“They weren’t bad.” Mingyu is frowning. “There are no wrong answers here.” 

“Another thing they say at job interviews,” Jeonghan observes.

“Why did you rank me number one?” Mingyu counters, before Jeonghan can press him for more details and discover his checklist process. He feels embarrassed enough having this conversation unprepared, much less admit that he had essentially set things up like a job interview. 

There’s a pause. And then with his voice soft, so soft that it makes Mingyu lean forward in his seat, like he has to catch the words from right over the wall, Jeonghan finally says — 

“It’s a secret.” 

Mingyu’s jaw drops. 

“You can’t say that!” he protests before he can help it. 

“Yes I can,” Jeonghan practically sings out. “It’s my secret!”

“Well if you don’t have to tell me then I don’t have to tell you either,” Mingyu says, like the grownup he is.

Jeonghan laughs, loud and uncaring, and then Mingyu hears a fingersnap. 

“Okay, why don’t we make a bet out of it?”

“A bet?” 

“If I become interesting enough to you, to the point that you can honestly say I have gone up in your rankings, then I’ll tell you why you’re my top choice.” 

Mingyu considers this for a moment. The reason he had ranked people the way he did was so that he wouldn’t be wasting anyone’s time. They only get ten days in the pods to find someone they want to get engaged to. When Mingyu had planned it out beforehand, he had decided it would be more responsible and considerate to spend more time with the people he was truly interested in. 

If he agrees to this, there’s a chance that he’d be wasting Jeonghan’s time. But it’s not like he can help it that Jeonghan is already set on him, and would it really be time wasted if Jeonghan gets to keep meeting with someone he’s interested in? Mingyu knows that in real life there are people who pursue him, but obviously here he hasn’t shown off his face or body, so he is really curious… 

“Okay, fine,” Mingyu decides. “But what if that changes? Then we’d stop meeting.”

He clicks on his pen nervously as Jeonghan stays quiet for a moment. Honestly, he hadn’t even thought of that until the words left his mouth. What happens if tomorrow Jeonghan doesn’t care anymore? And Mingyu never gets to find out the truth? 

If Jeonghan’s not your first choice, then why does it matter whether or not you’re still his? Seungkwan’s voice questions in his head, sounding equally patient and annoyed in that special Seungkwan way. Jeonghan speaks up before Mingyu can start to untangle his answer. 

“Hmm. Then I guess you have to work hard for me too, Mingyu-ssi!” 

PRODUCER: [off-camera] Why did you decide to join Love Is Blind? 

[zoom in on Kim Mingyu, 27, Office Worker] 

KIM MINGYU: First, I’m serious about marriage. It’s something I want to do. But in my past relationships, the people I dated were not as serious as I was. So I think this experience is a good opportunity to meet other people who would be as willing as I am to take that leap. Everyone here has the same goal, right? Second, it’s obvious even to the people around me how much I take myself seriously. My friends are actually the ones who brought this experiment to my attention. They were mostly curious to know how I would present myself in a situation like this, where I’m forced to find someone who can treat me well and to whom I can be good to. So I guess I was curious as well… 

[cut to Yoon Jeonghan, 28, Influencer]

YOON JEONGHAN: I think people have a hard time understanding me. Actually, yeah, I do that on purpose. So I thought this format might give someone a chance to get to know me better. I think not being able to see the other person challenges me enough that I won’t be able to put up my walls as easily. And if I can… then hey, I must be incredible. [ laughs ] 

PRODUCER: [off-camera] Do you think you can fall in love with someone without seeing them?

KIM MINGYU: To be honest, I’m more curious to know if someone can fall in love with me without seeing me. Does that make me sound vain? I guess I’ve already said it. For me, I think I could fall in love with someone without seeing them. I’m probably more conscious about my own looks than the looks of other people. 

YOON JEONGHAN: I’m really curious about that. I’m not going to lie, I have dated people for their looks. And I know that the chances of meeting someone here who is attractive is… well. Let’s just say that I have accepted the fact that I might find someone that I would not usually find good-looking. I think that if there is someone who matches well with my personality, who can accept me as I am, and who makes life fun to spend together with… then yeah, I have already decided that I would prefer that over whatever their looks may be. Well. Of course, that’s easier said than done. So I wonder if this can actually happen. Thank you for this opportunity! 

PRODUCER: [off-camera] What has been the most interesting part of your experience in the pods so far? 

YOON JEONGHAN: Finding out the kind of reactions I can get from a person on the other side of a wall has been very exciting. 

KIM MINGYU: Yoon Jeonghan. Wait, did you say frustrating or interesting? 

Mingyu has resorted to laying down on the couch during his sessions with Jeonghan. Well, he begins by laying down. At some point, inevitably, he has to start pacing around the room. Jeonghan’s not particularly easy to read, but it’s clear he enjoys riling people up — or maybe just Mingyu, and he wishes he didn’t make it so easy. But if there were things about himself that he could help then he wouldn’t be here right now.

“…So my friend Joshua took us to Blue Bottle, because he’s from Los Angeles. Actually it makes no sense now that I think about it. But those were his words. So we went to Blue Bottle because he promised it would be pretty for Instagram. Have you been? To the one in Yeuido?” 

“No,” Mingyu replies easily, eyes closed. His head is propped up on a pillow while his hands rest on his middle. “The line at Blue Bottle is always too long. Sometimes my dongsaeng will drag me to the Apgujeong branch close to where we work but otherwise the coffee at my company is just fine.” 

Jeonghan snorts, and immediately a finger on Mingyu’s stomach twitches. 

“Why do you do that?” he asks, trying to keep his voice even. “Whenever my job comes up, you make some sort of noise.” 

“Oh, really?” To his credit, Jeonghan sounds genuinely surprised. “I didn’t realize I was doing that.”

“Yes,” Mingyu says, still patient but ready to tense up at a moment’s notice. “So why?”

“I guess in my head, I think it’s kind of funny that you work in an office.” Before Mingyu can feel offended, he continues, “I have never dated someone who works in an office before. So it’s fun to me, because I think about introducing you to my friends as my fiancé, and their faces in my head are priceless when the guy on my arm is wearing a lanyard and a backpack.” 

Just like that, Mingyu’s eyes are flying open and he’s sitting up to look at the pine tree. 

“You think about me, with your friends?” 

“Of course.” 

“Like you tell them, this is Kim Mingyu, the person I’m marrying?”

“That’s what a fiancé is.” 

Mingyu feels breathless. “You want to marry me? But why?” 

There are a lot of things he hasn’t told Jeonghan yet. What kind of person he is when he travels, that he prefers pouring the sauce over his tangsuyuk as opposed to dipping it, why Myungho broke up with him. Essential things a husband should know. 

“We haven’t even dropped formal speech yet, I don’t think you’re thinking this through — “

“Hey, hey. Okay, Kim Mingyu, calm down first. I didn’t say I want to marry you already. That’s why I have to imagine you with my friends first. Just to let you know, they probably won’t be mean to you, as long as you let me dress you.” 

Now, Mingyu thinks about Jeonghan and Seungkwan together. Then, Jeonghan and Seungkwan and Seokmin and Soonyoung. He groans, agonized, and flops back down on the couch. 

“But you and my friends would be mean to me. ” 

Jeonghan laughs gleefully, and it’s familiar in the way the sound settles into Mingyu’s chest and makes him exhale, even though his laughs are different every time and Mingyu has yet to categorize them all. Huh, when did he start doing that? Remembering Jeonghan’s sounds. 

“Actually, this reminds me. To help with my imagination, can you describe what you look like?”

“Do I want to ask what I already look like in your head?” 

“Do you look like the drama actor Kim Mingyu?” 

“No. Wait, is that guy your type? But he has monolids. I don’t have monolids.” 

“Then I guess this is the end for us.” 

“But I’m taller than him.” 

“Well, my heart can still be swayed.” 

“Okay, I’m 186 centimeters tall. I have black hair, it’s kind of long right now. I guess a unique facial feature is that I have strong canines. And…” Mingyu thinks about how Dongmin would say it. “Yeah, I’ve heard a few times that I am handsome.” Yeah, Mingyu thinks. That’s exactly how Dongmin would do it.

And then Jeonghan gives the longest hmmmm Mingyu has ever heard in his life. And Mingyu is an ENFJ who attracts a lot of P types, so it’s very long. 

“Do you think I’m lying?” Mingyu asks defensively.

“I don’t think you’re lying that you believe you have heard that you are handsome a few times in your life,” Jeonghan replies, laughing from his throat, terrible. 

From there the topic changes easily, back to Jeonghan’s story about his friend from Los Angeles but later, near the end of their session, there’s a comfortable lull in the conversation and Mingyu finds himself itching to ask: if they meet face-to-face, and Mingyu is not his type, then what would Jeonghan do? 

But he beats him to it. 

“How about you, Mingyu-ssi? Aren’t you curious about what I look like?” 

Of course, Mingyu thinks about it. Has been thinking about it excessively, since Jeonghan revealed that he has fantasized about a hypothetical situation in which they’re already engaged. 

“I don’t need to,” is what he says.

“It’s not important to you?”

“Well, it’s just obvious…” that you are either the world’s biggest asshole or extraordinarily attractive. “...since you said you’re popular on Instagram.” 

“I didn’t say that. I said Instagram is how I make my living. ‘Popular on Instagram’ sounds rude.”

“My friend’s dog is popular on Instagram.”

“Alright, keep acting like that and let’s see if I ever put you on my feed.” 

“I would be taking your pictures for you anyway.” 

“Wow, you really are working hard to keep my heart.”

Mingyu’s breath catches in his throat for the second time that day. He knows it’s banter, that this is what they do, but it’s the first time someone has said something like that to him while he’s been here. He thinks about Park Jaechan, one of the contestants that he’s been considering as his top choice, and can’t imagine those words coming out of his mouth. At least directed to him, anyway.

“Ah, Jeonghan-ssi… you’re making the atmosphere weird,” he says. 

“You should address me casually, you know.” 

“Really?” 

“To be honest, it already feels strange enough not being able to see you. I’d like it if we could be more casual with each other, so that we can feel closer.” 

“That’s a good point.” Mingyu swallows, but the lump in his throat only settles heavily into his stomach. “Alright, please feel free to speak casually to me.” 

“You can call me hyung. Or by my first name, maybe. I’ve never done that with younger people I dated, but I always imagined the person I married would call me by my first name. Hey, do you like pet names?” 

The bell dings to signal the end of their session, and Mingyu clutches his middle even though he knows they’ll talk again tomorrow.

“Good night, Mingyu-yah!”

“Bye, hyung.” 

On the fourth day, the first two engagements are announced. 

In the morning, Shin Ryujin yells, “I’m going to see my wife!” and barely gives the producers a minute to film her goodbye shots around the common lounge, eager to finally meet Hwang Yeji at the engagement bridge. And right after lunch, Kim Hyojong walks out of his pod wearing an oversized red suit and holding a bouquet of red roses and shouts, “I said yes!” to the sounds of loud cheering. Everyone knows who proposed to him. Hyojong and Hyunah’s mutual interest in each other were obvious from the start. 

Mingyu watches as Hyojong makes his rounds to say goodbye to everyone in their group. Soon, he’d be meeting his fiancé in person for the first time. 

“Wondering if that will be you?” a voice speaks up from the armchair next to him. Mingyu groans and tilts his head back, closes his eyes. 

“Aren’t we all, Dongmin-ah,” he says. “This has been more stressful than I thought.”

He hasn’t met with anyone yet today. As the days pass, everyone’s been spending more time with fewer people, so the pods have been busy. Mingyu reorganized his rankings again last night, so unless Im Nayeon is particularly keen on him, which he doubts, he’ll only be meeting with three people from now on. Mingyu distantly wonders what Jeonghan will have to say about the double engagement.

Dongmin sighs. “To be honest, I think we’re the only ones really getting worked up over it. But I also think our problems are different.”

Mingyu peeks at him. “What do you mean?”

“You have options, at least,” Dongmin says lightly. His fingers are messing with the spiral of his own notebook. “I don’t think I’ve found a match here.”

“The producers must be torn up about that,” Mingyu jokes to make him laugh. It only mildly gets rid of the sad look in his friend’s eyes. 

“Yeah, I think they’re working hard to give me a good single’s narrative. Or maybe they’ll cut out my screen time entirely.” 

“With a face like that?” Mingyu snorts. Dongmin laughs for real this time, but doesn’t respond to the compliment. He has been exceedingly modest about the compliments on his visuals, which Mingyu finds aspirational.  

“Well they already have you, don’t they,” Dongmin says instead. Behind him, Hyojong approaches to clap his back, making him jump. “ Ah! ”

“Sorry, sorry,” Hyojong apologizes, gripping his shoulder to steady him. “Just wanted to say goodbye to you two! Our prince charmings! Well, I’m sure I’ll see you both again soon.” 

Mingyu and Dongmin stand to hug and congratulate him, and as they watch him take his leave, Dongmin nudges Mingyu’s side. 

“You need to hurry up so I can see you off like this, too,” he says. “Stop being dumb.” Normally, Mingyu would protest to someone saying something like this to him, but it’s Dongmin. 

“I’m trying very hard to be smart here,” he says, because he knows Dongmin understands. Sometimes Mingyu wonders what would have happened if they’d met through the wall, instead of on the same side. 

“I know.” Dongmin rolls his eyes. “That’s why I said stop doing that.” 

Maybe Mingyu would have already talked himself into not finding a match, too.