Work Text:
You said your favorite color was purple.
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"Shu!" Vox dragged, "Hi, I missed you." I shook my head and laughed at the man's words. I saw that he was in the hangout voice call alone and decided to join him. "We literally spoke to each other the other day."
"Too long." He said softly. My eyes widened at the words. Something in me stirred. I laughed it off and sat up straight. "So, what are you doing?"
"Oh well-"
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The way we used to talk so much even when I couldn't think of anything. You would take over and just go on about whatever... I'd listen to you for hours. You have no idea how much I enjoyed hearing your voice.
We made so many jokes that the others never understood. Little flirts you would throw here and there, even though I would avoid it, it made me laugh. Our interactions were something I looked forward to the most.
I'd talk about you to the others and they would tease me about it. I didn't know why, I thought it was silly of them. But I thought about our interactions, you. Just You. You filled my thoughts more than anything else. That was then I realized I had fallen for you.
Your smile that shined so bright whenever you looked at me. It left me stunned at how much your mood changed when I joined you in voice calls. The warmth continued to grow in my chest. Maybe that's why I thought you felt the same.
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"Oh shit, sorry guys I have to go," We all looked at Vox through the screen, "They just got home and I promised I would play Smash with them. See you later!"
I felt eyes on me, even through the screen. I tried to brush it off, my attention focused on my schedule. I opened my mouth to speak only to get cut off.
"Are you alright, Shu?" Mysta spoke, worry evident in his voice.
"Yeah?" I chuckled, "Why wouldn't I be?" I glanced at the other monitor and saw that all eyes were definitely on me. Concern and sadness written on their faces. I hated it.
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The way you talked about them endlessly like they were all you could think of. You would go on and on for hours.
All your jokes with them that me and the others never understood. Flirts flew around and accepted with no hesitation. Your interactions with them was something you always looked forward to.
I'd hear you talk about them with the others as they looked at me with sad eyes. I didn't know why, I thought it was silly of them. But you talked about your interactions with them. Just them. They filled your thoughts more than anything else.
Your smile that shined so bright whenever you looked at them. It left me stunned at how much your mood changed when they would join you in voice calls. You said there was a warmth that grew in your chest. And I guess that's when I realized I lost you before I even had the chance.
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‘Omg yes Vox is going to do a valorant collab!’
‘He’s teaching Vox how to play Valorant? Ayo?’
‘Vox is going to play with-’
I closed my Internet browser and let out a big sigh. My body refused to move yet I stood from my chair and dragged myself to my bed. I landed with a grunt and pulled my pillow closer to me. A pain in my chest began to grow.
“That’s nice” My throat felt dry, “It’s always going to be him.”
I clenched onto the covers. My head felt light and my eyes burned. What was this feeling? The more I thought about it, the more it hurt, but I just couldn’t get it out of my mind.
I remember how that was the night I broke down. The night I cried my eyes out for the first time. The night I spent cold and alone. The night I let you go even though I never had you.
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You said your favorite color was purple... Turns out it was a different shade.