Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Paige was your average high schooler. Well, as average as you could be, when your AP Chemistry teacher was the elusive Mr. Parker. 

At first glance, Mr. Parker seemed like your average, student favorite teacher. He was charming, patient, and incredibly smart. He remembered people’s weekend activities, birthdays, and family members. You could ask him questions on bioengineering, physics, algebra, even history, and he would have an answer for you. He went to Midtown when he was in high school, and knew all of the staff by name. He was also the hottest teacher in Midtown.

But there were small details that didn’t add up about him.  The fact that no one knew anything about his personal life, other than the fact that he lived alone, was single, and had no immediate family (he seemed especially bitter whenever someone asked, so it became an unspoken rule not to ask). But there were other, more peculiar things too. Like the time he came to class ten minutes late, faintly bleeding from his temple. Paige had to point out the blood for him to notice. The third week of October was wild. Mr. Parker came into class five minutes late via the window, three times that week. And then he proceeded to teach them about palladium and radiation, during their organic chemistry unit. Last week, Paige swore he was limping.

Today, however, Mr. Parker not only was late by thirteen minutes, but he brought everyone doughnuts for “putting up with his bullshit” and gave them a free period. Paige turned to her friends, Phoebe, Nick, and Elouise;

“Is that blood?” She whispered, nodding her head towards Mr. Parker’s bicep. 

“I think so.” Nick, her boyfriend, whispered back. 

“God, he’s so hot.” Elouise whispered, leaning back in her chair.

“Elouise, shut up! He’s bleeding.” Phoebe hissed.

“So? Look at his muscles.”

“Oh my God.” Nick thumped his head down on his desk.

“Nick, come on. You can appreciate his muscles. Hot damn.”

“Elouise, please for the love of God.”

Paige rolled her eyes and opened her book. Nick was watching football highlights. Phoebe and Elouise were frantically whispering about attractive teachers.

“I see your Mr. Parker and Mr. Ionello, and raise you to Ms. Jones.” Paige cut in.

“That’s fair.” Nick answered. That set off Phoebe and Elouise and Paige snickered.

Mr. Ionello taught English, and Ms. Jones taught Physics. Mr. Parker seemed to actively avoid them, even once jumping out of a window to avoid the duo (Honestly, what is up with this man and the windows??). Whenever he was forced near them, he seemed super jumpy and lost all his cool. Some students picked up on this, and actively seeked him out during these events. He was always super grateful and was definitely happier in class after those saves. It had become widespread knowledge very quickly, and thus Mr. Parker was always much more cheerful.

Paige turned back to her research. She was trying to find a good scientific paper to read, as it was required in the class to read one. She scrolled through the authors, then stopped.

Peter B. Parker, PhD. She clicked on it. Ten different papers. Three of them were on various radiation topics, one on applications of palladium, two on medical bandages and four on various engineering topics, including bioengineering, electrical engineering and mechanical engineering. She clicked on the palladium one. As she read through it, she thought that there was no way this was her teacher, her Mr, no, Dr. Parker. Absent-mindedly, she noted Mr/Dr. Parker walking towards their group. Paige sent the article to Nick, who scanned it quickly. She watched his eyes widen.

“Um, sir?” Paige asked, when Mr/Dr. Parker had come within earshot.

“Hello, Paige. What’s up?” He smiled warmly.

“Um, do you, by any chance, have some scientific papers published?” She squeaked out. Paige could feel Elouise and Phoebe’s stares. Mr/Dr. Parker’s eyes widened slightly, and his lips twitched involuntarily.

“Yeah, I do.” He said, smiling. The four of them blinked, shocked.

“I’m assuming you found them?”

“Do you have a doctorate?”

“Um, I actually have three? Biochemistry, Biophysics, Aerospace Engineering and a few masters too. Quantum Mechanics is kinda useless for a high school chem teacher to know, but it was pretty interesting to learn.” The group looked stunned.

“Do we call you Dr. Parker then?” Elouise asked. He laughed;

“Nah, Mr. Parker is fine. I don’t really care. Were you looking for papers to read?” He asked. Paige nodded;
“I like your paper on palladium. Isn’t it hard to find though?”

“Yeah, it can be quite difficult. I was working at… Does the paper say when it was published?”

“Uhh, May of 2018.”
“Ah, yes. I remember that. My first published paper. I was working at Stark Industries at that time, and Mr… my boss let me play around with things that probably were illegal for me to touch.”

“Stark Industries??” Paige looked up to see most of the class listening in, shamelessly.

“That was twelve years ago, wasn’t it?” Nick asked. Nobody knew Mr. Parker’s age, another mysterious factor of his life.

“Yep! I published that paper on my birthday!”

“Why was it ‘probably illegal’?” Elouise asked.

“Ah, because I was turning seventeen.”

Everyone blinked. What the Fuck?! Paige thought to herself. Mr. (Technically Dr) Peter Parker became a published researcher at the age of seventeen, for applications of palladium, while working at Stark Industries! That makes him only twenty nine, the same age as Mr. Ionello and Ms. Jones. Paige, as well as most of the other students, really wanted to ask Mr. Parker on that, but that was firmly number one and five on The List of things never to ask him on. Every student who had ever stepped foot inside of Midtown knew The List. The List was as follows:

If you don’t want Mr. Parker to have a panic attack/mental breakdown or other reaction similar, DO NOT bring up the following topics directly to him or around him (Don’t question this list):

• His time as a student at Midtown

• His family

• His current home life

• The Snap (AVOID AT ALL COSTS)

• Mr. Jason Ionello and Ms. Michelle Jones

• Tony Stark (AVOID AT ALL COSTS)

• Pepper Potts

• Steve Rogers (He gets super mad for some reason)

• Dr. Strange (It’s just Steve Rogers and Dr. Strange, no other Avengers are triggering)

• General Palpatine

• Black Dahlias

• Aunts (AVOID EVEN MORE THAN ANYTHING ELSE)

Students upon first entering the school, whether being rising ninth graders, or transfer students alike, were handed many official and unofficial documents. The SR&R book was almost immediately tossed, but the maps of the school, schedule, lists of clubs were kept, as well as lists and papers handed by students. Lists of foods to avoid in the cafeteria, teachers to take classes from, electives to take and avoid, and The List concerning Mr. Parker.  The List was so well known, it was a miracle Mr. Parker hadn’t found out about it. Even some teachers had it posted in their room. Paige had a sneaking suspicion that Mr. Parker secretly knew about The List, but was too grateful to mention it. 

Mr. Parker smiled at the class and made his way to the whiteboard again.

“God, Stark Industries was so fun to work at. If you ever get the chance to, take that chance. You won’t be disappointed.” His smile turned bittersweet, then brightened;

“Does anyone want to hear about the time I accidentally saved Stark Industries millions of dollars?”

Chapter Text

Paige was a little confused. Scratch that. A lot confused. Her AP Chemistry teacher was in her Italian class.

“Mr. Parker?” She asked, dropping her back on the floor. Said teacher turned at his name and visibly brightened.

“Oh! Paige! Nice to see you. I’m subbing for Signora Ricci today.”

“Huh. Nice to see you, sir.”

She sat down in her usual seat, waiting for her partner, Liam, to arrive. It was a new thing. Paige had been dating Nick for about a year now and late one afternoon Nick brought up polyamory. Specifically for their best friends who were also dating. Phoebe and Liam. Paige knew both boys were bisexual, but didn’t know they were attracted to each other. She wasn’t mad about it at all. Paige herself was demiromantic and disliked anything further than hugs and kisses.  A week after that conversation Phoebe confessed she was pan and open to dating multiple people. Thus, the two couples became the Fantastic Four. Nick and Phoebe weren’t dating each other but Paige and Liam had a queer platonic relationship. It worked and she was happy. 

What she wasn’t happy about was the warning bell ringing and still no Liam. His previous class was gym, which, while being across the school, shouldn’t have taken him this long to get there. 

Paige considered texting him, before her eyes got caught on Mr. Parker, writing the directions on the board. Why he hadn’t done that earlier, she didn’t know but Liam slid into his seat beside her right as the bell rang. 

“Hey sweetheart,” Liam whispered, gently elbowing her side, head dipping under the desk to rummage through his bag.

“You smell gross. Were y’all outside?” She asked, tapping her pen against the desk. He nodded as he came back up, barely missing the edge of the desk. 

“Ugh, yeah. Running laps. Coach is a sadist, I tell ya. Oh, hey. What happened to Signora Ricci?” Liam finally noticed the missing teacher. 

“Dunno. Mr. Parker hadn’t told us yet.” Paige leaned back into her seat. Liam cocked his head, looking vaguely like a puppy. He was a little bit adorable. 

“Mr. Parker, as in your chem teacher?”

“Yup. He’s real nice, you’d like him better than Mr. Marsh.” Paige grinned, watching as his face darkened. 

“ Anyone’s better than Mr. Marsh, ” he grumbled, straightening up when Mr. Parker clapped his hands.

“Buon pomeriggio, classe. Sono un dottore Parker. You can call me Mr. Parker.” His Italian was flawless . He had to be fluent. 

Paige was vaguely aware that her mouth dropped open but wow . She didn’t feel attraction like others did, she was certain, but Gods. She might be a little bit attracted to her AP chemistry teacher.

Mr. Parker continued on, oblivious to her (and many other students’) crisis.

“I usually teach AP Chemistry, and wow that is a lot of familiar faces. Hi everyone!” 

Mr. Parker quickly outlined the lesson plan and handed out the worksheet provided. 

“If you have any questions, you can, of course, ask me. Otherwise, you have a free period once you finish the worksheet.” He plopped down onto the chair behind the desk and pulled out his computer. 

Liam and Paige set to work, finishing the worksheet in merely ten minutes. It was mostly vocabulary they were taught last class and while Liam struggled with spelling, it wasn’t incredibly hard to figure them out. 

When they finished, Paige pulled out her phone. Liam was already typing into their group chat.

darlin’: guess whos subbing for sra. ricci

sweetheart: you’ll actually never guess who

ball boi: is it that short lady

ball boi: the fake blonde one whos roots are showing

sweetheart: nope

darlin’: guess again

the art kid: ffs i forgot to mute my phone after yesterday and accidentally blasted my notif sound

darlin’: IS UR NOTIF SOUND STILL TEH ONE I SAVED

the art kid: YEAH AND I BLASTED THE F-ING STARWARS THEME IN THE MIDDLE OF CHORUS 😭

sweetheart: lol imagine benign a chorus kid

sweetheart being*

the art kid: imagine being a band kid

ball boi: light of my lives you’ve gotten off topic

ball boi: who is ur substitute??

sweetheart: you know hwo it is <3

sweetheart: *who

ball boi: why would i know who ur sub is

darlin’: it’s ur chem teacher lol

the art kid: MR PARKER?

ball boi: MR PARKER???

Paige turned to Liam.

“Do we tell them he knows Italian?” She whispered, eyeing the man in question. He was typing on his computer, though he had a physical keyboard connected to his laptop. Paige didn’t think she remembered seeing him use one during chem. 

“Up to you. He’s your teacher.” Liam shrugged, leaning over until his head hit her shoulder.

“How many laps did y’all run? You aren’t usually this exhausted, huh?”

“Like, ten. The entire period was running.”

Paige readjusted herself so her partner could rest against her easier before opening up the group chat again.

+20 new messages

ball boi: they left us

the art kid: wow abandoned by our own lovers

sweetheart: mr parker can speak flawless italian

sweetheart: also dont call us lovers pheebs that sounds so cheesy

the art kid: im getting a divorce

sweetheart: NO I WAS KIDDING

the art kid: i want custody over nick

ball boi: you dont want custody over ur own boyf? 

the art kid: i have good authority that liam is currently napping on paige, she’d fight tooth and nail for him

sweetheart: wtf how’d u know

the art kid: dont question me <3

darlin’: i saw her pass by the window a few mins ago

sweetheart: go back to sleep liam

darlin’: ok

ball boi: whipped

the art kid” whipped

sweetheart: stfu

sweetheart: anyways y’all glossed over the fact that mr parker is fluent in italian

ball boi: WAIT WHAT

ball boi: NO WAY

the art kid: fr?????

sweetheart: yeah he has an accent and everything

sweetheart: looking back he kinda always has an accent

sweetheart: maybe it’s his first language?

When Paige looked up from her phone, Liam was out cold, head resting on her shoulder. He was definitely going to wake up with a crick in his neck, so she gently shook him awake.

“Let’s sit on the floor,” she whispered, already scooting her chair back. They settled into a new position, Paige with her back against the desk’s legs and Liam with his head pillowed in her lap, legs stretched out. Their class consisted of eleven people total and three usually skipped class. The other six didn’t give two craps about the duo. Some of them were already sitting on the floor. Others were on their laptops or phones. One was on Tiktok, Paige guessed, from the faint sounds coming from the person’s speakers.

Paige found herself drifting too, snapping awake only when someone’s shoes stopped next to her. They were nice Converse high tops, bright yellow. Paige’s eyes traveled up until she saw the warm smile of a certain Mr. Parker.

“Hello sir,” she greeted, tilting her head;

“Was the chem homework just the Gizmos?”

He chuckled;

“Yes, ma’am. Did you two finish the worksheet?”

“It’s on our desk, sir.”

“Oh! So it is. You didn’t need any help, right?”

“No, sir. We’re good.”

“Let me know if you need anything, Paige.” His shoes disappeared. 

Paige zoned out, letting the quiet conversation around her lull her back to the almost-asleep state she was in earlier. When Liam finally woke up, she blinked hard at him.

“Hello, darlin’.”

“Hi love. Is Mr. Parker speaking Russian?”

Paige snapped her head towards her teacher. He was leaning back in his chair gesturing with one hand while the other held his phone. 

“-сука кто ты-” he snapped, before sending an apologetic glance at the class. He lowered his voice again.

“Huh. So he is.”

“Should we update the discord server?”

“Yes. Yes, we should.”

Chapter Text

Paige walked into her chem class bright and early on a Monday morning, she couldn't help but notice the complete lack of classmates. She glanced worriedly towards the front of the room and then sighed in relief when she saw her teacher at his desk.

“G’morning Mr. Parker,” she greeted, sinking down in her seat whilst simultaneously yawning so hard her jaw cracked audibly.

“Yikes. Good morning Paige, where's the rest of your crew?” Mr Parker asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Phoebe's on the art trip today and Nick is out sick. it's just me and Elouise today,” she explained. 

“Damn, I was hoping Nick would be here. You'll have to tell him all about the experiment that he's missing.”

The two returned to silence as they waited for the rest of Paige's classmates to trickle in. A fair amount of students were attending the art field trip to DC today, and this meant Paige was down several friends. Luckily Liam hadn't abandoned her and she would see him during lunch later.

She had barely closed her eyes before a bag dropped to the ground next to her.

“Hiya Paige, where's your partners?” Elouise asked, pushing a to-go cup towards her.

“I love you so much,” Paige muttered, ignoring the question in favor of downing the mango ice tea set before her.

“Yeah, yeah, love you too. Where’re the others?” 

“Pheebs is on the trip and Nick has the flu.”

“Very losercore of him, doncha think?”

Paige hummed noncommittally, sipping her drink again. Paige could confidently say that mango was her favorite fruit, and she could happily live the rest of her life living only off of mangoes.

“Good morning class,” Mr. Parker announced once the bell had rung. “Seeing as we’ve lost a good chunk of your classmates to the art trip, today is experiment day.”

Half hearted cheers filled the room. 

“Just kidding, we're going to watch Disney’s Robin Hood. I bought everyone popcorn, too.”

Now that got a louder response. Paige and Eloise stood up simultaneously with the rest of their class, all lining up in front of Mr Parker's desk for popcorn. Nobody was complaining about getting to miss stoichiometry.

Nobody liked stoichiometry.

As Paige settled back down in her seat, she opened up her messaging app.

darlin’: paige 

darlin’: love & light of my life

darlin’: the honey to my buns

darlin’: the sun and all my stars

darlin’: PLEASE get me out of here 

sweetheart: babygirl u brought this upon urself. i told you to be careful :((

darlin’: babe i did not ask for a concussion

darlin’: infact i specifically told the nurse that i didn't want it

sweetheart: i know darlin, i was the one who took you to the er. 

sweetheart: do you wanna come to my class? we're abt to watch robin hood

darlin’: omg hell yeah

“Hey, uh, Mr. Parker?” She called, hesitant. He was likely to approve Liam 

“What's up?” 

“Is it okay if my partner joins us? He has a free period right now and also a concussion because he's stupid.”

About half the class chuckled at that. It's not like the Fantastic Four were hiding their relationship to the school. They didn't advertise it, but it wasn't unobvious that something queer was up with them. And if someone didn't know about their relationships, then at the very least they knew about Liam's spectacular tackle and subsequent head injury that happened the weekend prior.

Paige loved him, she really did. But she would also super appreciate if her boys stopped getting injured so frequently.

“Sure, as long as it's okay with his proctor,” Mr. Parker replied, bemused. Paige pumped a fist in the air jokingly. 

sweetheart: cmon over, mr. p says it's ok

sweetheart: d155

darlin’: OMW!!!

darlin’: THANK YOUUUUUU

Not five minutes later, a knock sounded on the door.

“Come in, Liam,” Mr. Parker called warmly, already preparing another bag of popcorn.

“Thanks sir,” Liam replied, looking sheepish

 He waved brightly at the class while he waited for the bag.

A few seconds later and Liam plopped down in the chair Paige dragged over for him. 

“Everyone good to go?” Mr. Parker called, hand hovering over his laptop mouse. A chorus of “yesses” later and the intro began to play.

“By the way, expect me to talk. I’m incapable of being quiet during this movie,” he added as an afterthought.

~~

“Ugh, he’s so hot,” Liam scoffed under his breath when Robin Hood appeared. Paige and Elouise couldn’t explain the sudden burst of laughter that tore through them, but the strange twinkle in Mr. Parker’s eye caught Paige’s attention. He jerked his chin in acknowledgement, smothering a grin.

As soon as Prince John appeared on the screen, everyone booed.

“What a loser,” Mr. Parker commented, offhandedly. “Like, for real. If he was here today, I’d fight ‘em myself.”

The class gaped in astonishment.

“Guys, you do understand that a teacher's salary is not much at all, right? I personally would be victimized by Prince John.”

“Okay, yeah, that's fair.”

~~

“I don't think Maid Marian is that pretty,” someone in the back piped up.

Abruptly, Mr. Parker paused the film and pointed at the person. “I am going to physically harm you.”

~~

“Y'know, Robin Hood and Maid Marian were my bisexual awakening,” Liam comments during a quiet moment.

“Sometimes knowledge is not good,” Mr. Parker sighed, rubbing his forehead. He sure acted like he was much older than mid-twenties. 

Someone else exclaimed; “Mr. Parker, you'd be such a good Robin Hood.”

“What, a thief? That directly contradicts my number one goal in this job; to never end up on the news.”

~~

The final credits began scrolling across the screen right as the dismissal bell rang. The class intently burst into chatter, accompanied by the sound of chairs being pushed back and paper popcorn bags crinkling within hands. Paige turned to Elouise and Liam with sparkling eyes.

“We should dress as Maid Marian, Robin Hood, Little John, Friar Tuck and Clucky!” She exclaimed, grinning. The other two laughed fondly as they gathered their things to leave.

“Thanks so much, Mr. Parker!” Paige cheered as they passed by his desk on their way to the door.

“Anything, Paige. See ya and get well soon, Liam.”

Perhaps a new List could be made for Mr. Parker. Paige thought she’d start it off with;

• Bisexual for Robin Hood (the fox)
• Has top tier movie commentary
• Likes cheese popcorn over salty popcorn
• Would fight Prince John (the lion)
• Number one goal in teaching: Never end up on the news

Chapter Text

Paige woke up, feeling giddy. It was the morning of the annual science field trip and she couldn’t wait. Not only was she in the same group with her partners, but Mr. Parker was their chaperone. Additionally, she also got to skip her APUSH period and a quiz in her Italian class that she (on purpose) did not study for. This was going to be a great field trip. 

She quickly ran through the motions of getting ready, throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Did her daily will I need a jacket today? contemplation. Decided yes on the jacket and tied her green sweatshirt around her waist. Quickly ate breakfast (a banana, bowl of cereal, and a glass of water), kissed her parents goodbye, and began the walk over to Phoebe’s house. They only lived a few blocks apart, so the two girls walked to school together. Their tradition of walking to school together started in middle school and both girls were glad to be able to continue the tradition in high school. 

By the time she got to Phoebe’s door, her girlfriend was already waiting outside.

“Good morning, Paige!” Phoebe called, falling in step with her as they continued on their way to school.

“Mornin’! Have you heard from the boys yet?” It wasn’t uncommon for Liam and Nick to be no-contact until the lunch bell rang. Nick drank energy drinks like he was sponsored by them (Paige worried for his liver), while Liam curated his very own blend of the most caffeinated tea he could find. Sometimes if he was feeling a certain way, he’d steep five different brands of tea in one tumbler. Paige was scared of both of them before noon. 

“Nick texted me a picture of his energy drink of the day. It’s a new brand, I think. Looks violent,” Phoebe reported, showing Paige the bright pink can with a zebra on it. 

“Yikes. We’ve got to get him to eat some vegetables today.”

“Agreed.”

The rest of the walk was quiet, not because they had nothing to talk about, but because they were enjoying each other’s company. Once they got to school, the peacefulness was going to be shattered by the hundreds of other students attending the science trip. Their group was headed to the New York Hall of Science, something Paige had been looking forward to for a while. She and Liam were both interested in architecture and there was a cool exhibit all about city planning that she was eager to see.

Ping . 

Both Paige and Phoebe raised an eyebrow at each other.

“Five bucks it’s Liam,” Paige challenged, already reaching into her pocket for her phone.

“Ten says he’s got a photo of his tea line up for the day.”

Paige laughed; “No bet, you know he does that every morning.”

Liam did it so often, Paige could probably make a book out of each combination. In fact, she actually had a secret twitter account dedicated just for the most atrocious tea combinations she had witnessed Liam make. When she said it was a secret, she meant that it had over a thousand followers and day one of making it, she had blocked Nick and Liam so neither knew it existed. 

Sure enough, it was Liam. 

darlin’: Attached One (1) Photo

darlin’: tea line up 2day

ball boi: liam what the fuck is that

ball boi: respectfully

sweetheart: hey be nice

the art kid: nick you can’t say shit, your drink looks radioactive

ball boi: HEY

darlin’: i (don’t) hate to admit that they’ve got a point

ball boi: i hope your leaf water tastes bad

The girls giggled as they continued down the path, arms linked together so Phoebe could continue to tell Paige the playground insults that their boys descended down to while Paige guided her around obstacles. 

~~

By the time the girls got to school, there was a small fleet of yellow school buses outside. Paige dragged Phoebe over to their normal morning meet up spot (under the two trees just past the main entrance) and was not surprised to see both Nick and Liam already there. Nick was lying on the pavement, Liam’s jacket tucked under his head, while Liam sat criss cross in front of him. They were arguing loud enough for Paige and Phoebe to hear them but not quite make out what words were being said. Their respective drinks were nowhere in sight, however Paige knew them too well to assume they had already finished drinking them. Liam liked to savour his tea and Nick knew better than to chug his energy drinks. 

Paige knew it wasn’t anything serious considering the amused glances people kept shooting them and also considering the fact that they were holding hands, however she and Phoebe quickened their steps anyway.

“Good morning, ladies,” Liam greeted, eyes lighting up as he saw them. Nick made a valiant effort to wave at them, despite both of his hands still being held by Liam. 

“Mornin’. What’s going on?” Paige asked, sitting down next to Liam and throwing her legs over Nick’s stomach. Phoebe dropped down beside her, leaning her weight against her shoulder. 

“Nick is a heathen and I want a divorce.”

“Hey!”

Their laughter cut off abruptly when someone blew a whistle, all heads snapping up to see Ms. Jones. She was standing on the steps to the school, wearing a bright yellow jacket that almost matched the school buses. Milling around her were the other various science teachers and volunteer chaperones, holding sticks with papers attached to them. The classic “we’re too lazy to make actual signs so we stapled laminated paper to yardsticks” signs. You’d think a school like Midtown would have a better system for that, but nope. 

“Okay everybody! It seems like most people are here, so please go find your assigned chaperones so we can get going!” She called, holding up her sign that said “Jones/Parker, Hall of Science”.

“Uh oh,” Paige said, before she could stop herself. She didn’t notice her partners exchanging glances until Liam asked;

“What’s uh oh?”

Paige pointed at the sign. The sign that read “Jones/Parker, Hall of Science”. As in, the sign that mean Ms. Jones (point number five on the The List) and Mr. Parker (the reason The List existed) would be chaperoning the Hall of Science group together. 

“Oh dear.” Phoebe said quietly. 

“That’s not good,” Liam agreed.