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Daniel sat down on the log across from Sean, facing the campfire. Sean couldn't help but notice that his brother had a grimace on his face. "What happened now, dude?"
"A girl hit on me tonight at the party." While this should have been a good thing, Daniel said this with a straight face almost just like he was stating a fact. There was no emotion in his tone, no nervous shift in his eyes, none of the frivolity that comes with the first crush.
Sean didn't know how to react. It seemed like Daniel just wanted him to listen, so he sat still and waited for Daniel to continue.
Daniel stared into the fire. He seemed too deep in thought to continue. It was like he was shut down after a long day at work. After what seemed like a lifetime, Sean offered what he hoped was a casual "oh?"
Daniel didn't respond. He rubbed his hands over his face. "Sean, I think about these powers all the time. Why me? Why then? How did they come about? Sometimes I wish I could rewind time. To go back before ... well you know." Sean sensed there was something more to this introspection, so he waited for Daniel to get to the point.
The only sounds were the crackling of the fire and the crickets calling out in the night.
Daniel gave a heavy sigh. "I've been thinking since you gave me... 'the talk' " Sean internally groaned. That was a mess, he hated that day. One dirty bed sheet, a crying Daniel, and some interesting questions later, it all led to a horrible experience.
"What you explained made sense. It also told me that my childhood crush on Lyla was just admiration that she could take so much of your time. That she could be a part of your life without being considered a nuisance. I haven't felt anything Sean. What you explained to me. I thought I'd feel it with someone... but nothing. Why can't I feel love, Sean? Why haven't I felt it yet, Sean?
Sean was flabbergasted. He had no idea how to respond. He was already out of his league with all the parenting stuff. Nothing had prepared him for this. So he did the only thing he could think of and moved over to hug his brother.
Daniel breaks out in broken cries, "What if... what if the powers replaced something, Sean? I get these powers but at what cost Sean. I... don't know if I can deal with this Sean. I'm not as brave as you."
It took all of Sean's willpower to not break apart at those words and yell at his brother that Daniel was the brave one. However, Sean knew that all Daniel needed was comfort. So he comforted his younger brother. Softly scratching his back like he did when Daniel was younger and had nightmares. This was a whole new problem they had to face though. Sean couldn't just soothe away the pain this time. Say everything will be alright and move on. So Sean had to pick his words very carefully.
"Enano, there's nothing wrong with you. Sometimes it takes longer to feel those feelings. Even if you never get them..." Sean trailed off, unsure how to finish.
Daniel looked up at him with his big eyes brimming with tears. It struck Sean that his fourteen-year-old brother was still a kid. They both had to grow up so fast after their dad died. So fast, that Sean forgets sometimes that Daniel still needs love, still needs help, even with his powers.
Sean wipes away the tears from Daniel's eyes, and takes a deep breath, and says, "Daniel, nothing is wrong with you. I will always love you, no matter what. If you never feel anything or even if you feel it with any gender, I will always be your brother. Nothing will ever change that. Even if the powers took away your love, which we don't even know, I know you are the sweetest person in the world. You care so much about Mushroom, Chris, Karen, and even our grandparents. You ask me every week about what you think Lyla is doing at that specific second." Sean pauses and looks over at his brother, who is still streaming tears down his face.
Sean continues, "You say the powers took away your love, but that's not true. I see that love every day. I see it in your eyes when you hear me telling stories about the wolf brothers, about .... our dad. I see it in your smile when you tell me stories about Chris, Lyla, and everyone we met to get to Puerto Lobos. You said I'm the brave one? No, enano. You are the bravest and kindest person I have ever met."
"But, Sean... the things I did at the border. That's how I know I'm not deserving to have love. I hurt all these people to fulfill our selfish desires."
This was the first mention of what happened back then. Immediately after, Daniel asked to never speak of it again and Sean obliged, knowing the trauma Daniel must be feeling.
"Enano, no," Sean said sternly. "We had to do that at the border to survive. They would have separated us. I promise you we will never have to hurt anyone again. We made it home enano. Because of you, because of your powers. If the powers took away your love, I will show you it didn't. I will show you every day, by hugging you, by saying how awesome you are. You are my brother Daniel. Nothing that happens will change that. I will love you till the day I die."
Sean pulls Daniel into a bone-crushing hug and whispers, "Even if you feel nothing toward anyone for the rest of your life, that's how God made you. Not the powers, sometimes that's just how life is. Sometimes, life isn't fair. All I ask of you is to not give up. You never know when the right person comes around. Can you promise me that enano?"
Sean could feel Daniel's nod through his hoodie. "Ok, good. Let me know if that day happens and you do meet the right person. What's the harm in trying?"
Sean releases Daniel and nods to the house. "I think that's enough pity party for now. Let's have fun, we haven't done training in a while you wanna crush some plants to get your mind off of it?"
Daniel wipes his nose with his sleeve and says, "Yeah, I need a distraction."
They walk to the garden to start his training.
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