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When Shino was first introduced to Heathcliff, he'd seen a little girl. Big, sweet eyes, smooth skin, soft blonde hair, pink lips - an identical mirror to the lady of the house who stood just in front with a warm smile, the very image of a noblewoman- in Shino's extremely limited experience.
In an entryway that seemed almost larger than the entire poorhouse in which Shino used to live, the small, shy Blanchett peeked out from behind the lacy hem of the adult’s long skirt, and Shino put out a small hand for shaking.
"Hey, my lady."
The older lady (- Elizabeth, Shino had been told) smiled, and the laugh that came out sounded like a bell. Shino was swept up instantly in the warm jingle, eyes aimed upwards at her kind face in awe.
"Oh, my dear Heathcliff? He does look just like me, doesn't he?"
Shino nodded absently, and then a little more raptly, since the other servants had advised him to do so. And with his gaze fixed firmly upwards, Shino entirely missed Heathcliff's lower lip being bitten and small fingers clenching into the bottom of the nice silk shirt that… he was wearing.
--
Shino was proud to say he knew pretty much everything about Heath, after all this time. His ups (the soft lilt of his smile), his downs (the way his tears slid down his face like gemstones), his silent passions (the excited bounce in his walk on the way to the workshop), his even quieter determination (the firm set of his brow in polite, but political, company). They'd been together through everything. Highs and lows, successes and (to Shino's chagrin, though he could handle the cleanup just fine) failures- even (or especially?) the more mundane things Shino was proud to have the front-row experience of seeing. He could read Heath like a book, probably, and get at least most of the words exactly right. Though there was one thing he'd never understood.
"Heath is the coolest," Shino would inform people, and Heath would tell him to stop, all closed-eyes and cheeks dusted pink, clearly shy and embarrassed to be praised so openly for basically only existing. Shino was used to it. Nothing would stop him from saying it, but he knew Heath did get shy about it. Therein came the problem-
"See? He's beautiful, too." came with a set in Heath's jaw, a significantly brighter blush, and a much angrier rebuke than before. He'd avoid Shino's eyes entirely before screwing his face up and glaring weakly, inevitably giving up and looking away again.
It was an utterly inscrutable reaction. Shino couldn't make heads or tails of it.
Sure, Heath was shy. He was pretty quiet and reclusive by nature, especially as an Easterner - and their sham of a teacher Jack was only making it worse. But he could usually handle himself well enough in a conversation, and he'd had a fair amount of experience dealing with difficult exchanges as they came, making a conversation with the both of them almost as easy as clockwork. They worked well together in that way, as Lord and Servant ought to. Shino would share his input, Heath would consider it. Shino would brag, Heath would react (cutely). Shino would point it out, and that is where the conversation fell apart, where Heath's voice faltered and his shoulders stiffened. He was shy, of course, but it never felt like it was to this kind of degree. Running and hiding under blankets was common. Excusing himself to stand in a quiet space to catch his breath was a fixture. White knuckles and bitten lips were not, and Shino wasn't sure how to deal with it.
Did this mean he'd stop? Maybe it was just something Heath had to get used to. Well, it felt like it was to Shino, who figured that those comments would never really end, and what better way to get over something embarrassing than have someone entirely genuine about it push the issue? It was a better idea than throwing him to the panthers about it, and maybe he'd even be used to it by the time he got married. Whenever that was. Wizard lifespans were long, but such a thing was inevitable as the heir to a house of nobility.
So, hey. Plenty of time for exposure therapy in the meantime. And if it meant Shino got to compliment Heath all he wanted, it sounded like a pretty good plan for the both of them.
As hard as he tried, it was hard not to watch the tears cling to Heath's long, pretty eyelashes as they fell from his eyes. What awful timing for him to look so-
"Stop," Heath's face was messy and splotchy and not perfect at all as he tried to scrub the tears away, and even then he looked- "Stop looking at me, Shino."
"I don't get it; You won't tell me. What's wrong with me saying what everyone is thinking anyway?"
Heath shook his head, eyes covered and fixed firmly away from Shino regardless. But even in this state, when Shino moved forward, Heath did not flinch. Even now, Heath trusted Shino to come closer, to not hurt him... Maybe? Though he'd apparently been doing a great job of messing that up just before.
The bed didn't creak under Shino as he moved closer, which was still surprising after a life of rickety wood and paper thin sheets. But that was then, before the manor, and this was now. And now was the time for taking his Lord's hand and trying to have their eyes meet, for an answer he had to get- and, it seemed, an answer Heath was willing to give, even if the only proof he had was not being shoved off the bed. ...Yet, at least.
Somehow, he managed a hand off of Heath's face without an inch of stress. He clasped it in both of his, and set his expression as serious as it could go. Heath took shuddering breaths, but he wasn't pulling away. His open blue eye met Shino's red ones. It wavered a little, but came right back to lock onto his gaze, calming his breath and his expression as best as he could.
"...I'm not what you think I am."
A baffling answer. Shino cocked his head slightly, trying to parse the meaning.
"What, beautiful? I'm pretty sure nobody thinks that. We just know."
Wrong answer. Heath's hand was starting the shaking again with an audible gulp. Another try:
"You look just like the Lady. Of course you're beautiful."
Heath's face went pale and cold, and whatever he tried to say came out as more of a choke than anything. Okay, so that was worse.
Shino didn't get it, but Heath's knuckles seemed to be taking quite the strain. And there was a whisper Shino could just barely catch, though the sound made his ears shoot right up.
"No, I don't."
It felt like he wasn't supposed to hear that. But Shino wasn't the type to let go of something like that, especially from the lips of his Lord. He shifted closer.
"What do you mean by that? You're the spitting image of-"
"I'm not." He was pulling away. Shino couldn't let that happen, not after hearing that quiet confession. He chased after Heath's retreating form and kept talking.
"Sure you are. You've got the same eyes, same hair, same beauty mark, same smile-" Heath's back hit his pillows. His eyes were narrow, curtained by his lashes, and his soft lips were furrowed together.
He wasn't looking at Shino.
"It's not... that's not what I..."
Shino was over his reclined form now, boxing in his head and shoulders with his hands. Heath looked lost and afraid, but it wasn't like he couldn't get away if he tried. He wasn't that weak. Physically or emotionally. Shino knew they both knew that. It was something else. It was-
"I don't want to be my mother, Shino. I want to be myself." It was quiet. Shino waited. "...But I wish I looked like her. I'm so envious of her, and it makes me sick that I could feel this way."
"But you do, right? You've got everything that matters. What a body to a smile?"
"It matters to me, Shino ," was hissed out. And in that moment, everything clicked.
The tension in Shino's body relaxed as he sat back on his haunches, balancing just above Heath's thighs below him.
"Oh, I get it now. You're like me."
Heath's face was still splotchy, but now it was taking on a more bewildered air.
"What... are you talking about...?"
"You're not happy with how you were born, and you wanna be different, right?"
"You- What?" There was a shift to sit up that was slightly complicated by Shino's position. "You're not- Aren't you-" A swallow. "...I thought you were just... short."
Shino snorted and poked Heath in the chest. "I am. But I'm not gonna be for much longer, 'cause I'm gonna get way taller. Even taller than you or Figaro or Oz or Lennox. So look forward to that."
He didn't miss the way Heath's eyes sparkled in response to that. It was an easy segue to a confession:
"I thought you were a girl from the moment I met you." There. The sparkling turned a little wet, and Heath's arm came back to her eyes. Shino was right, she really was:
"Cute."
Her cheeks got warm under her arm, and Shino grinned. Heath could only groan. "I can't believe this... I could have told you all along?"
"Hey, makes me feel kinda good that you couldn't tell. Not that I care much about how I look." He could sense the eye-roll from under its cover, and it made him smile even larger. "C'mon, Heath. Look at me?"
Gradually, she peeked out from behind her arm, giving a weak smile. It made Shino's heart pound in his ears, which was a sensation he was extremely used to, but it felt a little different this time. He reached out a hand to take the one of Heath's over her face and squeeze it.
"Thanks for telling me. But that doesn't change how I feel."
"Shino..."
He decided to take a chance and lean forward to bump their foreheads together. Heath flushed a little deeper, but accepted the gesture. Shino's gaze grew determined.
"No matter what, you're my cool, talented, beautiful Lady, and it's an honor to serve you."
Heath's expression grew tight again, but she nodded slowly anyway. No matter what, Heath was Heath. No matter what, Shino would get her to the top.
But he was glad she'd found a way to be happy once they'd gotten there.