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What Family is Supposed to Feel Like

Summary:

Draco and Harry babysit four year old Teddy often, in preparation for taking custody of him per Andromeda's request. But sometimes, Draco can't help but feeling like he's not good enough for the whole 'parenting' thing.

Notes:

Hello! Thanks so much for reading this fic! I enjoyed writing it!

This was written for Cruel Summer 2022, a Harry Potter fic fest in which writers are given a Taylor Swift song as a prompt for their pairing of choice. I chose Drarry and was given the song "Never Grow Up".

I wanted to give a quick shout out to my beta, thereindeerlady, who was so incredibly helpful and nice to work with!

Alright, y'all. Enjoy!

Work Text:

The blue-haired boy bounded into the cottage with a peal of giggles, holding the tiny stuffed puppy that Harry had won him at the arcade tightly to his chest as he stormed into the house. Harry clumsily followed him through the doorway, desperately trying not to drop any of the other toys that they’d won through the course of the day. Draco had offered to take some of the stuff out of his arms, but being the stubborn idiot he was, Harry refused and let it overflow onto the sofa instead. With a wave of his wand, Draco turned the lights on in the cottage so Harry wouldn’t trip and fall, adding to the chaos. 

“Alright, little man,” Harry said, huffing as he finished depositing the hoard onto the cushion. “It’s time for bed.”

“Nooooooo!” Teddy whined, clutching his puppy tighter. His hair flashed blond as he looked towards Draco for help, then to black as he looked up into Harry’s caring eyes, before settling back to its natural blue.

“Teds, we’ve had a long day, and it’s time to wind down, yeah?”

Teddy shook his head violently. “I don’t wanna! I wanna play!”

Draco stood back as Harry tried to reason with the boy, promising that they could play more the next time that he and Draco babysat. Teddy became more and more upset, tears threatening to drench his chubby cheeks, as Harry’s frustration levels rose. 

“I’ve an idea,” Draco drawled playfully. Green and brown eyes snapped up to him at the same time, and he couldn’t help but smirk. “Why don’t we run a bubble bath to wind down before bed?”

Teddy’s face lit up immediately, his hair bouncing between blond and blue through his excitement. He jumped up from the sofa and rushed towards Draco with his toothy smile showing. “Bubbles! Come on, uncle Dwaco!” He grabbed Draco’s hand in his own tiny one, pulling him towards the bathroom. Draco snapped his gaze back towards Harry, who smiled fondly after them and made a ‘go on’ motion with his hand. 

Excited by the prospect of bubbles, Teddy wasted no time in getting ready for the bath. He gathered his favourite bath toys in his arms and waited patiently as Draco got the water ready. Once it was at the perfect temperature for the young boy, Teddy climbed in. Draco waved his wand and added plenty of bubbles, all different colours and taking the shapes of various animals, making the bathtub the best place to be. The little boy gasped and giggled with excitement as reds, blues, yellows, and greens cascaded over him. He was so entranced by the bath that Draco was able to wash him up without much difficulty. Draco even slipped from the room to grab pyjamas without Teddy even noticing he’d left.

The bubbles were charmed to subside after a certain amount of time. Slowly but surely, they dissipated until Teddy was left with the warm water and his rubber duckie. He looked up at Draco, pleading for more play time. 

“Alright, it’s time for bed, sweet.”

Teddy looked like he wanted to argue about having more time in the bath, but was suddenly overtaken by a yawn. Draco chuckled as he helped Teddy step out of the tub and dry off. He wrapped the towel around Teddy’s body and drained the water out of the tub. They quickly shuffled to the other room.

Draco’s breath hitched as he opened the door. Harry was already in the room, storybook in hand, sitting atop the bed. He gave Draco a fond smile as they came in, a smile that Draco had been the subject of numerous times over the past few years, but one that still made him feel warm and fuzzy all over regardless. 

Teddy launched towards Harry, jumping right into his arms, excited for their bedtime routine. Every night that they babysat Teddy, Harry read a story to Teddy while Draco fixed up the kitchen from the day. Andromeda wouldn’t bode well with coming home to a mess, after all. 

As Harry and Teddy settled in the bed, snuggled up together cosily, Draco prepared to leave and go to the sitting room to clean up all of the toys and prizes from the arcade. He turned towards the door, ready to grab the doorknob, when a little voice broke through the silence. 

“Uncle Dwaco, sit with me too,” Teddy asked, his voice so sweet. His brown eyes pierced through Draco’s soul, begging him to stay as he fell asleep for the night. He couldn’t possibly say no to the puppy dog pout that Teddy gave him.

Draco had his reservations, however. He’d never been a part of the bedtime routine before. Teddy always wanted Harry to tuck him in and read him the story. Draco could always hear Harry doing ridiculous voices and acting out the dialogue in a silly way, making Teddy’s giggles ring out through the cottage, but Teddy never wanted him for bedtime. He always just wanted Harry.  

But apparently, tonight was different. 

Draco slowly removed his hand from the doorknob and inched towards the bed. He hesitated, not wanting to intrude on a routine that was already in place. Teddy pulled himself from Harry’s arms to gently grab Draco’s hand in his own, pulling him to sit on the bed. Teddy immediately made himself comfortable between him and Harry, snuggling between them. Harry lifted an arm to put it around both Teddy and Draco. He muttered the incantation to open the book on Teddy’s lap wandlessloy, and began to read. After the first page, he turned towards Draco and ushered back towards the book. Draco read the words on the second page, and they continued alternating as the book continued on. 

Teddy fell asleep in no time. He snuggled into his pillow, clutching the puppy to his chest as his two favourite uncles read to him. Harry closed the book once they were sure that Teddy was asleep. Draco felt Harry squeeze his shoulder and looked up to see the other man smiling at him. 

“You’re so good with him,” Draco whispered, voice gentle. Harry entwined his fingers with Draco’s, careful not to move too much as to wake Teddy again. 

“You are too.”

Fondness gleamed in Harry’s eyes, but Draco couldn’t help but to frown a little bit. 

“He likes you better, though,” Draco sighed. “You’re amazing with him. You’re like an actual parent to him, like Andromeda wants us to be, where I’m…” he trailed off, voice growing thicker. 

“Draco…” Harry whispered, squeezing his hand tighter. “Teddy loves you just as much as he loves me, you know that, right? You’re just as important to him as I am.” 

Draco shook his head. 

“You’re his actual godfather, Harry, and I’m just along for the ride because I’m with you.”

“That’s not true at all.” 

Harry shifted over ever so slightly, pushing the sleeping boy off of him and onto his pillow. Teddy didn’t stir one bit, sleeping soundly as ever. Harry leaned over towards Draco, taking both of his hands into his own. 

“You are so important to Teddy. You’re the one who drops whatever you’re doing to play potions with him, just to make sure he’s being safe. You’re the one who gives him extra sprinkles for his ice cream when you don’t think I’m looking, just to make him happy.” Draco let out a small snort of laughter, smiling because he really thought Harry had never seen him do that. “You’re the one who takes him outside to look at the stars and the moon so he can remember his parents. You charm his toys so they’ll walk and talk and make him laugh. And he looks to you when I’m being difficult. You’re amazing with him, too, Draco. He loves you so bloody much.”

Draco didn’t say anything. He pointed his gaze towards his lap, where Harry held his hands. He watched as Harry rubbed tiny circles into his hand with his thumb. 

“You’re not collateral, Draco. Andromeda wants both of us to be his family. She wouldn’t have asked us to take custody of Teddy if she didn’t know that Teddy loves the both of us, would she?”

“She asked you to take custody of him,” Draco countered. Harry rolled his eyes. 

“She knows we’re a package deal, babe.” Harry nudged Draco with his shoulder. “Listen, I’m in this for the long haul. I love Teddy, and I love you , and we’re gonna be okay.”

“But what about when he’s a teenager? When I have to put my foot down on him because you’re too soft to discipline him? He’s going to hate me.” 

Harry’s lips curved in a tiny, fond smile. “That’s how teenagers are, love. I’m sure he’ll hate me too. You didn’t like your parents much at fourteen, either, did you?”

“That’s beside the point,” Draco huffed. 

“There’s so much time before then, though. He’s only five. We have his whole life to love him, to make memories and cherish him over everything. There’s so much time to teach him the most important things he should know. We’re in this together, Draco. I can’t do this without you.” 

Draco took in a deep breath, looking back up into the green eyes that always looked at him like he was the most important person in the world. If only he could see himself that way, too. 

“I am utterly terrified,” he started, voice low. His eyes stung with tears that threatened to stream down his cheeks. “I’m terrified to be like my father. I don’t want Teddy to have the childhood that I did.”

“He won’t,” Harry said gently, continuing to rub circles into Draco’s hand. “You’re nothing like Lucius.”

“But what if I become like him?”

Harry shook his head. 

“You won’t, I know you won’t. You’ve grown so much as a person in the past few years, you’ve overcome many of the prejudices you were raised to believe. For Merlin’s sake, Draco, you are a children’s healer! You are unbelievably good. Teddy’s lucky to have you. I’m lucky to have you.”

Draco felt a rolling tear make its way down his cheek, and that was it. He was in Harry’s arms before he could think. The loud sound of his own insecurities were quickly deafened by Harry whispering quietly in his ear. He felt so loved, so safe, that nothing else mattered. And Harry was probably right, anyway. 

After a bit of time, and after Draco had calmed down with the feeling of Harry petting his hair slowly, he pulled away. Harry’s arm slid down so that he could intertwine his fingers with Draco’s again, and smiled a little bit as Harry gave an affirming squeeze. 

“There’s gonna be times where we feel like pulling our hair out. He’s not always going to like us. We’re bound to mess up at some point. But what matters most is that we love him and help him to be the best person that he can be, yeah?” Harry said quietly, smiling over at him. For the first time that evening, Draco returned the smile, squeezing Harry’s hand back. Harry leaned forward, catching Draco’s lips in the softest, most reassuring kiss. Any words that the other man hadn’t spoken out loud rang out loud and clear in Draco’s mind, just from the way Harry’s lips moved slowly on his. 

“I love you,” he whispered into the kiss. Harry smiled against his lips, pressing another quick kiss to Draco’s lips. 

“I love you too.”

“We should probably go clean up,” he whispered. “Andromeda will be upset if she sees all of the prizes on the sofa when she gets home.”

As Draco went to move off the bed, Teddy stirred. Both of them froze, waiting for the inevitable moment where the boy woke up and demanded to play, despite it being well into the evening. They waited with baited breath, but the moment never came. Instead, Teddy turned in his sleep towards Draco, outstretching his arms and finding Draco’s middle. He snuggled right up to the blond’s side, leaving him speechless. Another tear, albeit a happy one this time around, rolled down his cheek. He glanced at Harry, who was absolutely beaming at the sight before him. 

“Looks like you’re a little occupied,” he joked, smiling fondly at the two of them. “You snuggle with him, get some time in without me. I’ll take care of everything out there.”

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.” Harry leaned forward once more, placing another sweet kiss onto Draco’s lips. “Love you.”

“I love you too.”

Draco watched as Harry left the room, closing the door with the softest of clicks. He looked down at the boy wrapped around his torso, smiling with sleep and almost drooling on his shirt. He used a gentle arm to push him off slightly, only enough so he could manoeuvre himself into a lying position. Placing his head on the pillow, he allowed himself to reach out and pull Teddy back into a warm embrace. Even in sleep, Teddy smiled and snuggled deeper into Draco’s arms. 

Draco told himself he’d lay there only for a few minutes, enough to feel satisfied with the cuddles from Teddy. Only a few minutes to take in the warmth of the toddler against his chest, snuggling into him like he was the most important person in the world. Only a few minutes, and he’d go into the kitchen and help Harry prepare the cottage for Andromeda’s return. But the cosiness of the bed, and the warmth radiating from Teddy’s little body, was enough to send him into his own slumber. 

**********

Draco had always been a pretty light sleeper, so when he felt the bed dip beside him and Teddy as Harry climbed in, he began to panic. This wasn’t part of their normal routine; since Andromeda was going to return in the early hours of the morning, normally Harry and Draco would take up the guest room if they had to stay overnight. But apparently, tonight would continue to be different. Harry climbed into the bed and snuggled against Teddy and Draco. It was almost like the three of them were a real family, which would soon prove to be true. Draco decided to throw caution and routine to the wind and fell back to sleep with a smile. 

A while later, he heard the soft shutting of the front door, followed by the creaking open of Teddy’s bedroom door. A small sliver of light from the hallway crept its way onto Draco’s face as Andromeda peered into the room. He stirred awake anxiously, looking towards the door and getting ready to apologise, but Andromeda’s face was anything but mad.

A fond smile spread across her face at the sight of Draco, Harry, and Teddy snuggled together, and she turned away and shut the door. Draco felt the need to explain, to apologise for the interruption of the normal routine, so he carefully crawled away from Harry and Teddy and followed Andromeda into the kitchen. 

She was preparing a cup of tea for herself, putting the kettle on just as Draco approached from behind. The floorboards creaked underneath him, despite his attempt to be quiet, but Andromeda didn’t look up. She reached into the cabinet for another mug and added a spoonful of sugar and dash of milk to it. 

“Sorry about that, I know that’s not normally how we do things-”

“Nonsense,” she said, holding up the back of her hand to stop him in his tracks. She poured the hot water from the kettle into both of the mugs before turning around and holding the sugary mug towards him. He took it gratefully and sipped it, smiling at how perfect it tasted on his tongue. She leaned against the kitchen counter, facing him. 

“You know, sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision, giving up custody. If I’m doing what Dora would’ve wanted. But then, I see something like that,” she paused, taking a well-timed sip of her tea. “And I know I decided right.”

Draco smiled, taking a sip of his own beverage. 

“You two are going to be amazing parents for Teddy. He’s going to grow up being so loved and cared for, and I know that my daughter would’ve wanted exactly that for him.”

“Thank you,” Draco said. “For trusting Harry and I enough to take care of him and raise him as our own.”

“You’re all he ever talks about when you’re not around. He’s always babbling about some adventure the three of you had, and asking when you’ll be back. You and Harry mean a great deal to him.”

Draco smiled, a warm and homey feeling settling in his gut. Andromeda returned his smile. She set her mug down on the counter behind her and reached over to squeeze his shoulder. 

“Thank you for being a part of Teddy’s life, Draco.” She pulled him into a big hug, which took him by surprise. Andromeda wasn’t normally the type for physical affection, but it seems she was swept in the moment. He returned the hug and squeezed her tight, his chin resting atop her head. After a moment, they pulled back. She reached up and patted his cheeks gently. 

“Right, well I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed. Go back in there and be a family, okay?” With a wave of her wand, she whisked both of their nearly-empty mugs into the kitchen sink, to be dealt with at a more reasonable hour. 

Draco watched as she walked down the hall to her bedroom. She stopped at the door, looking back at him, and cocked her head towards Teddy’s room. She flashed another fond smile at him before disappearing into her room. 

If it was anyone else telling him to go back, Harry included, he wouldn’t have listened. He would’ve stayed in the sitting room, and maybe lie down on the couch for the rest of his well-needed sleep. But since Andromeda told him to, and trusted him to be in Teddy’s life, he returned to Teddy’s room. 

The spot in which he’d laid before was still empty. He sunk into the mattress carefully, trying hard not to wake Harry or Teddy. Teddy must’ve felt the movement next to him, though. His eyes fluttered open slightly, just enough to see Draco climbing into bed. A small, sleepy smile grew on the child’s face, and he scooted over enough to snuggle into Draco’s arms. Draco didn’t hesitate this time around to wrap his arms around Teddy too. Harry subconsciously inched closer as well until the three of them were tangled together. 

Draco smiled to himself and he closed his eyes. He pressed a gentle kiss into Teddy’s blue hair and encouraged the wave of sleep to wash over him.

There could be a time in the future where life wasn’t as simple as this, where Teddy would inevitably dislike Draco for parenting him. But in this moment, here in bed with the two people he cared about most, Draco couldn’t find it in himself to care. 

This was what family was supposed to feel like.