Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Young Master Diluc has no idea how this blue-haired boy bobbed out of nowhere. But he thinks that the boy could make a nice playmate. He is bored, after all.

“Be nice,” Crepus tells Diluc sternly, as he dabs at the cuts on the boy's forehead. The boy doesn’t cry. Diluc looks on in fascination. If it had been him, he would be in tears right now.

Diluc peers closer, almost nervously. His skin is tanned, and his one eye is blue. His other eye is obscured by a white patch.

“Is this where babies come from?” he asks Crepus curiously.

His father doesn't answer.

“What's your name, little one?” he asks the boy instead.

Like he's been spooked, the boy jumps and mumbles out his name.

“Kaeya.” he says softly, and Diluc silently thinks that it's a name belonging to a fantasy story. Everyone in Mondstadt has plain, boring names- this is new. This is strange.

He decides that he likes it.

Crepus gazes down at the pitiful child. He reaches out to comfort him.

“Did you get separated from your parents?” he asks, and this ‘Kaeya’ shakes his head.

“No.” he admits.

That earns him an interested glance from Crepus. “Will your parents not be missing you, then?” he says, as gently as possible.

Kaeya shakes his head, and his bottom lip begins to wobble.

Diluc climbs onto the couch and sits next to the boy.

“Well, then,” he invites boldly, “you can share my dad.”

To this, Crepus looks pleased- his son usually doesn’t warm to strangers easily. He laughs, ruffling his son’s hair.

“If no one comes here to pick him up, he can.” he says thoughtfully. “I've never seen you around before. You must be from very far away.”

“I don't have a home.” the words tumble from Kaeya's mouth before he can stop himself.

Diluc observes him.

Then he reaches over, patting his head like Crepus does with him every night before bed.

“You do now.” he says, and it's the closest the young Winery heir has ever come to affection. “We can make you dinner. And Dad tells the best bedtime stories.”

It takes a while, but Kaeya starts to smile too.

“Thank you.” he replies, and leans closer to Diluc.

The redhead lets him snuggle closer. He can feel the younger is clearly starved- not only of food, but also love and attention.

Crepus watches them. He is pleasantly surprised.

He laughs fondly.

“Welcome to the Ragnvindr family, Kaeya.”

For the youngest son of the Dawn Winery, Mondstadt is a wondrous place. Compared to the rough ruins and waterlogged camps of his past, the city of wind and idylls is…perfect. Like it came out of a fairytale.

“You are our last hope, Kaeya.” his father had told him as they approached the steps of the Dawn Winery. And Kaeya had clung to his father, his skin bruised and clothes muddied, not wanting to let go.

His father had slapped away his hand and told him to hurry up.

Here in Mondstadt, it’s so much different.

He is supposed to be a spy. He is supposed to be resilient and quick and sly.

But he doesn’t have it in him to betray the single father and his gentle son.

Instead, he spends his days in Mondstadt.

He uses up his time wading in ponds and catching frogs. He picks Calla Lilies for his new father.

Diluc follows him, getting into scraps and squealing as they fend off slimes with sharp sticks. They come back, with scabby knees and grazed arms, as Crepus scolds them lightly and ushers them in, but in all honesty, he’s never been so happy as he sees his two sons come back with those smiles on their faces. The young master of the house has never looked so delighted before.

Having a playmate really did him good, Crepus thinks. He always seemed lonely.

Then the summer ends. Diluc has to go to school.

Crepus insists Kaeya go to school, too. Kaeya’s never gone to one before.

So he holds Diluc’s hand with his clammy little palm, peeping around the corridor and covering his eyepatch with his hair, as if afraid he might get made fun of.

They step into the hall filled with children.

Kaeya makes friends with a blond girl called Jean, who’s the class monitor and offers to teach him his homework and looks like the most responsible person in the room. The other children are busy eating paper or making notebook towers or getting into scuffles, but somehow- somehow- Jean gets them to stop arguing.

The morning flies by. Diluc sits next to Kaeya. They finish their classwork together, and Diluc teaches Kaeya how to pick a book to read during silent reading time. Diluc picks the Legend of Vennessa, a story that he’s always loved, and Kaeya selects a book of hilichurl ballads.

Diluc has no idea how his brother is reading it, but since he seems to be having a grand time reading, he supposes it can’t hurt for Kaeya to read a foreign book.

At lunch, the other kids crowd around Kaeya.

“I want an eyepatch, too!” one of them says eagerly.

A blond-haired little boy bounces up and down excitedly. “You look cool,” he says. “Like a pirate.”

Another child tugs at him. “Where did you come out of? Diluc doesn’t have a brother!”

The kids glance at each other. “Yeah, he’s right!”

“Maybe he’s an alien!”

“Look at his skin! He’s not Mondstadtian!”

Kaeya flinches visibly. He takes a step back from the others, obviously feeling unwanted. He wants to go home now. It’s not fun anymore.

Jean tenses uncomfortably. Quiet Diluc looks up from his sandwich and raises his voice.

“Shut your stupid mouths.” Diluc crosses his tiny arms and glares at the gaping children. “Kaeya is my brother. He looks fine, and that’s all there is to it. Leave him alone.”

It’s the first time Diluc has said something like this. Normally he’s Introvert Diluc. Quiet-Rich-Boy Diluc. Doesn’t-Talk-At-All Diluc. We-Don’t-Remember-His-Existence-At-All Diluc.

Today he’s talking. And loudly, too.

The kids stop discussing.

Kaeya looks up at his brother gratefully.

Diluc goes back to eating his sandwich.

When they get home, Kaeya chatters away about how his brave big brother defended him. Crepus puts down the wine recipe he’s writing down.

“Did he, hm?” Crepus says, his eyes twinkling, and Kaeya nods, tugging on Diluc’s hand.

Kaeya’s one eye shines. “Yes he did! All of them, talking about me, and Brother just stands up and tells them, in this real scary voice, shut up! And then they stop, and, and…”

“Someone’s getting excited.” remarks Crepus, eyes crinkling happily.

Diluc looks somewhat proud of himself.

That night, they finish their homework together, Diluc patiently running his brother through the miseries of mathematics and grammar as the heavenly smell of Adelinde’s cooking wafts in through the kitchen.

It’s supposed to be a difficult, stressful task, but Diluc doesn’t feel it at all. He used to loathe working his way through the dreaded addition and subtraction. Now he’s content scrawling calculations next to his best friend.

He realises he’s satisfied.

It’s strange, but it’s true. The days he used to spend alone at the manor while Crepus worked crept by slower than a turtle’s pace. When Kaeya arrived, things changed. They became wilder. More exciting. In the most adventurous, interesting way he could imagine. Pretend games and slime fighting and playing pranks.

It’s not been a long time, but…

He loves his baby brother.

They play a lot of pretend games.

Diluc is more than glad to. He used to play by himself, but it never seemed to work. Then came Kaeya, who had a wild imagination that rivaled that of the Liyue storytellers.

One day, he comes up with their strangest, yet most exciting game yet.

“What if,” declares Kaeya, and truth be told, he knows it’s not a good idea, but he’s running low on imagination today. “What if we were monsters from the Abyss?”

At that, Diluc looks unimpressed. “I don't want to be the monster.” he whines. “Abyss monsters are evil. They're going to kill us all and set fire to our house.”

If Kaeya is worried, he doesn't show it. “What if the monsters aren't evil?” he asks, and the curiosity burning in his eye leads Diluc to answer.

“Legend has it that the monsters came from a fallen, lost nation.” he says in his best storytelling voice, quoting from the stories he read. “They were evil and hated the Archons. Then they were killed, and nothing remains of the nation but the Abyss, a vile bunch of monsters who will try to hurt you and then throw your remains into Starfell Lake!”

Kaeya blinks. He nods, as if deep in thought.

Diluc looks at him. “It’s okay, you know. I’ll save you from the evil monsters!”

The smile fades from Kaeya’s face. He thinks of what Diluc would say if he found out that his darling little brother was the evil monster.

“We can still play the game, can't we?” He changes the topic. “C'mon, Luc, it's going to be fun. I can be the monster if you want. You can be the brave knight fighting the Abyss.”

Immediately, Diluc’s eyes brighten. He throws open the door and hurls himself into the softly pattering rain without bothering to change out of his school shoes. “Let’s go!” he yells, wriggling under a grapevine. He scampers over to the trees at the edge of the orchard and picks up a stick, waving it around. “I’m the Grand Master of Mondstadt City and I’m going to protect my home!”

Kaeya hesitates. As if this was a stupid idea. Because it very obviously is. He shouldn’t have brought up the Abyss Order.

Now he knows Diluc hates his kind. His bubbly, protective older brother hates him without knowing.

It hurts him to lie, but it would hurt him more to tell the truth.

He stares at his hands, as if expecting them to turn into the curled claws of an abyss mage. He touches his eyepatch that hides his golden eye, the last reminder of his father. His original family.

The rain continues to fall.

“Are you coming?” Diluc shouts, running over to him and tugging at his arm.

Kaeya jerks free from his spell. He follows Diluc into the softly falling rain, where he picks up a fallen tree branch and imagines, like he used to when he was stuck in the camp, waiting for his father.

He imagines that he’s his real self. A young Abyss Prince coming to Mondstadt to fulfil his original mission. Then there’s Diluc, a loyal Knight of Favonius who’s charging towards him with his love for Mondstadt burning in his eyes.

Kaeya dodges out of the way, thrusting out the branch like an abyss mage’s wand. He imitates the mage’s voice perfectly, the way he’s seen them lazing around in abandoned mineshafts in his early life.

It feels almost real.

Diluc bursts into giggles upon hearing Kaeya’s abyss mage impression. “It’s spot on!” he says, wiping water off his face. “You’re so good at this!”

The sticks clash against each other in a swordfight where neither of the combatants know what they’re doing. The blue-haired boy parries the strike, Diluc makes a stab for his head, the two of them shouting battle cries excitedly as if it were a real battle.

To the young master, this is all a fun pretend game.

To Kaeya, it is a recollection of memories.

But it’s okay now. No one has to know.

The fight comes to an end as Diluc wrestles with Kaeya’s makeshift sword, trying to pry it out of his hands. “I’m supposed to win!” he complains, but Kaeya can tell he’s not really angry. “Give it to me! You can’t let the bad guys win.”

Kaeya pokes out his tongue. “Yes I can!” he teases, swiping away his stick and lightly swatting at his brother with it.

“They’re horrible killers!” Diluc insists, rainwater running down his face. “Don’t side with them!”

He snatches the stick out of Kaeya’s hands. It flies into the air, and Diluc takes it, jabbing his little brother in the neck once. “You’re great at these pretend games!” he says, satisfied with an afternoon of chasing and squealing.

Kaeya doesn’t smile.

“What’s wrong?” Diluc pauses mid-victory speech, throwing down the stick. “Did I hurt you?”

A shake of the head from Kaeya follows, then a long stretch of silence.

“Look, next time you can be the hero.” Diluc’s face flushes. “I didn’t mean to make you sad.”

Kaeya recovers, swallowing the lump in his throat and taking his big brother’s hand. “I’m not sad.” he replies, and it is a lie.

He is sad.

They’re horrible killers, Diluc says.

Kaeya ponders this.

Is he a horrible killer too?

Will Diluc think that he is one?

There are no words that form at his lips for once while Diluc runs back to the winery to tell Crepus all about their new game. He trails behind, waiting for the whistle in the wind to turn on him and tell him he’s not wanted there. That he’s not a true Mondstadter, and never will be.

A stab of guilt forms in his chest.

He regrets suggesting this game.

The first time they argue, it leaves a large impact on the two of them.

The Winery is a quiet place. The two of them have just arrived home from school, with Kaeya ignoring his brother the entire time. Crepus is away on one of his wine export deals again, and Adelinde is upstairs right now, cleaning the bedrooms. He’ll probably be back late, at ten or so.

Meanwhile, the two brothers are grumbling at each other for the first time since they met.

“You’re welcome.” twelve-year-old Diluc barks after Kaeya, “after I stayed behind and waited for you to finish serving detention every single time you got into trouble, which happens once every two days. You’re welcome.”

Kaeya scowls at him. “You know full well I can’t stand being the third, or fourth, or eleventh wheel. Stop acting like I don’t exist at school. I don’t know what’s gotten into you.”

“I don’t think that gives you an excuse to be rude and snappy about it when you get home.” Diluc seethes. “If you’re not apologizing to me, at least say sorry to Jean for shoving her away. And secondly, I did not pretend you didn’t exist. I’m not going to abandon you if I don’t spend all my time with you.”

“No, you just don’t like me enough to exist around me.”

That makes fire roar in Diluc’s veins. Of course he likes his brother. What kind of stupid assumption is that?

But for now, he’s too angry to say anything sensible. Which is why he lets out his pent-up anger on Kaeya.

“Maybe I do hate you.” he lashes. “You insensitive, ungrateful prick. ”

The thud of a bag against the wooden Winery floor makes him snap his head up. The door is flung wide open, and Kaeya pulls a face at him, his fists curled and his one eye glaring coldly. “Go find someone who you like better than pathetic old me, then!” he shouts through the entrance, and storms off into the cold all by himself.

“Good riddance! I’m not going to miss you!” Diluc yells after him, slamming the door in his face and going off to finish his homework. He quickly goes through the stack of history and mathematics first, since they’re his best subjects, and then starts his writing assignment after pouring himself after a cup of osmanthus tea (courtesy of Crepus’ recent travels to Liyue).

He stares at the page. Story writing isn’t his strong suit.

The sunlight coming from outside the window grows stronger, blinding him.

Diluc is about to ask Kaeya for help, then realizes his brother left the house ages ago. How long has it been? An hour? Or two, or three?

He pushes his chair back and stands, throwing down his pencil. Kaeya can’t have gotten far, can he? It’s not that hard to navigate Mondstadt.

Is it?

He pushes open the door. It’s a beautiful sunny day in Mondstadt, and Diluc is about to have a crisis.

Now he’s feeling guilty for shouting at Kaeya. It’s the first time he’s ever done that. Sure, Kaeya had been annoying him, and he was mad at the younger for spoiling his day, but for Archons’ sake, had he just let his brother wander off into nowhere?

He runs around the Winery once, climbing the windowsill to try and look on top of the roof. Nothing.

Now he’s nervous. It isn’t like Kaeya to stray far from the house without him. So he sneaks out of the vineyard and wanders off.

There’s nothing near the Statue of the Seven, or the Wolvendom outskirts. That gets Diluc worried.

The sky starts to darken, and Diluc still hasn’t finished his assignment, but that dumb piece of writing is the least of his worries now. Where has that idiot gone? What will Diluc do if he can’t find him?

“Kaeya!” he tries, his limbs aching after the long day clambering over rocks and running across plains. “Kaeya, can you hear me? It’s Luc. It’s your brother.”

There is little response that is received but for the howling of the northern winds rolling in as the sun sinks farther down the horizon.

“Kae!” screeches Diluc. “It’s not funny! Please, I’m sorry…come back and you can have anything you want…”

If Kaeya is here, he doesn’t reply.

Diluc surveys the landscape for a few more seconds. His grazed knees hurt, but his pride hurts more.

“Kaeya…” he says one last time, into the dimmed light of the sinking sun’s rays.

The silence that follows is deafening.

He turns and leaves for the Winery. Hopefully Kaeya will come back by the end of the day.

When he gets back, Adelinde makes a fuss over him. “Master Diluc!” she scolds, tapping the boy on the nose and dressing his cuts. “I told you not to stay out for too long. Look at the state of you. When did you even leave the house? Where’s Master Kaeya?”

At the mention of his brother’s name, Diluc shrinks even smaller and starts to cry into Adelinde’s shoulder.

The maid isn’t used to the stoic boy in tears, so she knows something’s wrong. “Is Kaeya hurt?” she says gently. “There, there, we’ll fix him up. Where is he?”

“I don’t know!” The boy curls up and clings closer to Adelinde. “I don’t know where he’s gone to!”

Adelinde frowns, letting the young master weep into her shoulder. “When did you last see him?”

Diluc steps back guiltily. “We argued and he stormed out of the house.”

“That can’t be good.” Adelinde manages to hide her worry quite well, comforting the redhead gently. “There, there. Don’t cry. He’s probably gone off on his own for a while.”

“What if he doesn’t come back and it’s all my fault?” wails Diluc, then wriggles out of the maid’s arms and climbs under the table, his gangly limbs in an awkward position. It’s unusual for him to cry in front of people, but today he’s worried.

Dinner is a grand feast of roast chicken and cheese omelettes, but Diluc barely touches his meal. He stares vacantly at the filled plate next to him, steaming and piping-hot, that Kaeya usually wolfs up in a matter of seconds.

Every time there’s a noise outside the window, he swings his head up, only to find that it’s a falling branch or the birds chirping outside. Adelinde tries to get him to eat, but he pushes away his dinner.

After a few bites of omelette, he finishes his writing assignment alone.

When Crepus gets back, he tries not to sound angry. But he is.

“You let your brother leave the house all on his own in a huff?” Crepus scolds, lines of worry creasing his face. “Diluc, what were you thinking?”

“I’m sorry!” Diluc almost screams out, hugging a pillow as he sits on the plush couch. Tears run down his small, scared face, pale in the winery lighting. “I’m sorry, Dad…”

Crepus sighs. He sits down next to his son.

“He’s always been a fragile soul, you know that.”

Diluc nods helplessly, aware of the fact his face is blotchy and red. He hates the way he looks.

His father promises him that they’ll find Kaeya.

Diluc pretends to be optimistic, but the thought of his sweet baby brother wandering all alone in a hilichurl-infested highland sends chills down his spine. He tosses and turns through the night after Crepus switches the lights off, propping himself up at the windowsill and praying Kaeya will come running back.

He knows there’s school tomorrow, that the carriage will be coming at 7 to pick the two of them up, but he has better things to be concerned about.

“Please come back.” Diluc mumbles. “I can’t live without you.”

Perhaps the wind spirits hear his voice. Just maybe.

The next morning, his prayers will be answered.

It’s 11 in the morning, and Diluc Ragnvindr is not at school.

He spends an hour getting to school, where he sits there expressionlessly and jumps when the teacher calls his name, and the other kids laugh at him, while he sits there, ashamed of himself. Then the door slams open, the teacher stops going on about the formation of rain, and there Crepus is, basically dragging his son out of class, making him leave immediately and get into the carriage.

Something’s wrong. Crepus never drives. He asks his workers to man the horse and carriage in normal circumstances. Today he’s behind the wheel.

“What’s happened?” Diluc’s voice is quivering.

“You’ll see for yourself.” Crepus says, and there’s urgency in his tone.

Diluc gets even more jumpy and tense. This isn’t good.

The carriage rattles along the path. It’s another beautiful sunny day, and it feels ominous.

Crepus clambers out of the carriage so quickly that a sense of dread builds up within the red-headed boy. “But, Father, what’s happened?” he puffs as his father runs back to the winery.

His father holds his hand a bit tighter. The Winery oak doors creak open.

A group of adventurers are huddled around in the center of the room, where there’s a heap of pillows and blankets, and steaming mugs of hot chocolate.

There’s a small head of blue hair tucked between the layers of blankets.

Diluc’s heart drops.

Crepus kneels beside his younger son almost instantly, whispering comforting words in his ear as the adventurers fuss over him, bringing him his books and holding bandages in their hands.

Awkwardly, the red-haired boy walks over to his brother.

Kaeya sees him, and his eye widens. He lets out a small whimper and shrinks back.

He’s hurt, Diluc notes to himself.

His brother clutches Crepus tightly, and the scratches on his face come into the light. His skin is frostbitten and bleeding, but what makes Diluc ache the most is the scared expression he’s wearing.

“Kae…” he starts, and then trails off, because he doesn’t know what to say.

Kaeya looks him up and down, turning away so he doesn’t have to see Diluc.

“I’m sorry.” Diluc tries to coax his brother into a conversation. “Please, Kae, I was so worried about you. I was awake the whole night. I-” his voice cracks. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

A cold laugh escapes from his bleeding lip. “Young Master Diluc,” he replies, and the pain in his voice is so well concealed that anyone else would have believed he was fine, “I believe you were the one who said you wouldn’t miss me. You hate me, don’t you?”

Diluc swallows any words he was going to say. Instead, he tugs on his father’s sleeve.

“Where did he go?” he croaks out. “Where was he? I searched everywhere, I swear…”

“Dragonspine.” one of the adventurers tells him, nursing Kaeya’s forehead. “There’s us, on our regular patrol, just lookin’ for mint, an’ then there’s this kid, freezin’ to death in the middle of the mountains, he’s bleedin’ real bad cause of the hilichurls who beat him up, so we take him to camp, warm him up, then he spits out where he lives.”

“Dragonspine?” blurts out Diluc, whirling around. “Kaeya, what were you thinking?”

Kaeya glares at him. “I was thinking you wanted me gone,” he says. “So I tried to find somewhere you’d never have to see me again.”

His head droops, with both exhaustion and hurt.

“I thought you’d be happy,” he whispers. “I thought you’d be happier without me bothering you. I thought…sacrifices could be made. Cause I’d rather die alone on a mountain than stay and make you unhappy.”

Diluc can feel the tears coming.

“You’re my brother. I could never hate you.” he promises.

Kaeya’s bottom lip wobbles. Everything is such a mess right now. He knows that he owes Diluc a debt. He knows he was born to be evil. He knows he should’ve told the truth a long time ago.

But he can’t say a word. He’s living a beautiful lie, and he knows it, and he loves it so much that it would kill him to tell the truth.

“Please…” a tiny, frostbitten hand extends from the pile of blankets and wraps itself around Diluc’s wrist. “Please don’t ever let me go like that again.”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.” Diluc says solemnly.

“I was so scared,” Kaeya confesses. “The whole time I was on the mountain, I hugged myself and pretended it was you. It was so cold, and…I thought I would die there. Without you. Without anyone next to me. And then you’d forget all about me.”

Diluc pinches his brother’s cheeks, like they used to do as little kids. The warmth of the fireplace roars behind them as he climbs into the pillow pile, still in his school outfit, and holds his brother close to him.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Kaeya says shakily, hugging his big brother back. He can faintly hear the adventurers let out a collective “awwwwwww” from above him, and he knows it’s just about the sappiest scene that he’s ever experienced, but he doesn’t need to care.

He has Diluc. So everything’s going to be fine, as long as his big brother is by his side.

“Don’t cry, Kae, it’s going to be okay. It makes me sad to see you sad like this .” Diluc promises, and Kaeya lets himself start to cry.

Chapter Text

Crepus is so proud of his two sons.

Diluc, at such a young age, is a Knight of Favonius. Some of the Mondstadtian girls sigh and swoon when they see him, especially that flower-seller girl near the city entrance. Of course, Diluc takes no notice- he is here to become the best knight that Teyvat has ever known.

The fact he has a Vision isn’t surprising either. Even before he received his, there was talk on the streets about what sort of Vision the young master would be getting.

Kaeya is in his shadow, second fiddle to his older brother, but honestly, he’s more than happy to let Diluc get the Knights’ spotlight. He’s got a miniature fanclub of his own, and he’s doing well in his training, so why bother to take any attention for himself? It isn’t like he’s desperate to be noticed.

He’s still close as ever with Diluc, and everyone thinks they’re inseparable. Kaeya takes a liking to the wine his brother brews, and taste-tests a lot of them for Diluc, who takes a swig or two of alcohol on occasion. They spend their days together, helping Jean babysit Barbara and playfully bantering about each other’s stupidity.

It’s all in good fun. Kaeya is in heaven. He’s satisfied joking around with his brother and feeding the stray dogs (that used to be Thoma’s job, but he went missing and was presumed dead) and practicing his swordfighting skills. Basking in the glorious sunlight of his false life.

Crepus is delighted, and proud of his sons too. He knows they’re both rising to become independent individuals, and he’s glad that his children received opportunities that they never once took for granted.

Sometimes Kaeya looks back on his past. The scared little boy he once was, now the confident young man that the people of Mondstadt all respect. The Khaenri’ahn spy. The prince of a disgraced nation. The Abyss’ real heir.

Then he clears his head, smiling at Diluc.

Nothing can possibly go wrong. His life is in order now. He has everything he wants- family, friends, an honorable position in society that people look up to.

Everything will be fine.

Then Crepus leaves.

It’s Diluc’s birthday, and his worst so far.

Diluc whirls around to find Kaeya heading towards them. The Delusion, the monster…his head spins as he tries to process everything that just happened.

He holds his father’s corpse, watching the world drain of colour before his very eyes. His family. His father. Gone.

But that wasn’t the worst part of it all.

Kaeya smiles. Actually smiles.

“This world is truly fascinating,” he remarks. Diluc’s stomach drops in horror. His father is dead, and Kaeya is…smiling.

He’s probably in shock, Diluc forces himself to think. He’s too shocked to say anything else.

For as long as Diluc can remember, the Ragnvindr manor has been filled with joy. Running around the house, fooling around.

Tonight, it’s deathly quiet.

Adelinde tries to comfort the boys, but she too is distraught.

At dinner, Kaeya sees his brother curl up on his chair, not speaking a word, and he’s reminded of young Diluc. The one who never spoke up at school and preferred to hide away doing his own thing.

Guilt plunges through his chest.

Diluc has no family left, Kaeya thinks to himself. Mother long gone, Crepus killed, and his brother is a…fake.

He plays with his fingers anxiously while Adelinde clears the table, and Diluc looks like he hasn’t eaten at all. Meanwhile, Kaeya’s polished off his entire plate and then more- he has a tendency to eat far too much than he should when he’s upset.

There’s no wine for him tonight.

Kaeya watches his brother cry. His heart shrivels up. How can he keep lying? He knows Diluc hates his kind, but how can he?

He remembers a conversation he had with his birth father.

No matter where you go, you will always be Khaenri’ahn. Nothing else. And you must be willing to give anything up for the sake of your true nation.

Those were the words his father had said so many times it was ingrained into his head.

Now he recalls it, and he feels sick to his stomach. He’s not Khaenri’ahn, he’s a Mondstadter. Isn’t he?

He’s ashamed.

So that night, when Diluc is sitting by his window, still fully dressed, Kaeya knocks on the door.

“Come in.” Diluc calls.

Kaeya walks in. It’s clear that his brother has been drinking. He’s not yet drunk, but the room smells heavily of wine and there’s a cracked glass in his hand.

“What is it, Kae?” Diluc says, trying to sound lighthearted. The way the redhead looks at Kaeya makes him want to scream. Because Diluc is trying to pull everything together for the person he thinks is his baby brother. For the liar underneath all those layers of a mysterious blue-haired boy.

“I have a confession to make.” Kaeya begins, and his heart starts to sink.

Diluc eyes Kaeya warily for the first time. “Go on,” he says. “What is it?”

“I-I’m not a Mondstadt native.”

Diluc ogles him. “I see,” he says slowly. “Fontainian, then? You look classy enough to be from there, alright. Odd time to bring this up, don't you think? It's alright though. You came here looking quite exotic, if I must be honest.”

Kaeya swallows his pride.

“Luc,” he tries to soften his voice. “I'm from Khaenri'ah.”

Diluc blinks, then laughs hollowly. “Oh, Kaeya,” he says. “You don't need to make me feel better. There's no need to joke. Tonight, we just try to get our feelings sorted out, okay? Rethink everything and start planning for tomorrow.”

Kaeya gulps. Diluc thinks he's not serious.

“No.” he mumbles out. “I'm really from Khaenri'ah.”

“What are you talking about?” Diluc gives him a light smack on the arm. “Don't be silly.”

The fire igniting in Kaeya's eye is real. Diluc notes that he’s never been this nervous before.

“My father sent me here to spy on Mondstadt. Crepus found me on the Winery steps and adopted me.”

Diluc scoffs. “Look, Kaeya, I knew you were imaginative, but there's no need to go around telling stories now-”

Then he catches the look on his brother's face. Scared and lost. Like he doesn't know how else to explain it.

It's real.

“Kaeya?” there's an edge to Diluc's voice. “Explain yourself.”

His younger brother gazes back guiltily. “I'm from the Abyss.”

“No you're not.” Diluc's frown deepens. This makes no sense. His brother, his best friend, the child who cried in his arms when they were twelve…an Abyssal creature?

Kaeya grabs his hand.

“Please,” he implores, “I'm sorry.”

It finally dawns on Diluc that Kaeya is telling the truth.

His breaths get heavier and heavier. There’s betrayal weighing in his tone.

It all makes sense now. His mysterious eyepatch he never let anyone see under. His imaginative pretend games and his stories about hilichurls.

It all clicks together.

“It was all a lie, wasn’t it?” Diluc breathes. The glass of wine in his hand clatters to the floor and breaks. “We were never brothers.”

Kaeya takes a deep breath.

“We were always brothers. I swear. I gave up my identity as a Khaenri’ahn spy the moment I entered this household.”

Diluc tries to calm himself, but he’s scared. And when he’s scared, bad things happen.

“You lied to me.” he finds that he’s trembling as his voice grows louder and louder. “I did everything for you and you never told me a word of the truth. You’re one of them. ”

“Listen, I know you’re angry, Luc, but-”

“Don’t call me Luc.” Diluc’s voice, sharp as a whip, cuts through Kaeya’s heart. “Don’t you dare tell me you ever cared.”

Kaeya offers him a wounded expression.

Rage boils up in Diluc, along with disbelief, hatred, an urge to take his anger out. Crepus is gone, and now his brother, his so-called brother…

“I hate you!” Diluc screams, scrambling to grab his weapon, a fine greatsword crafted from reddish stone. “I shared my entire childhood with you and it was a lie!”

Kaeya slumps against the wall. His stomach starts churning.

“Some of it was real, I assure you.” he says softly.

“Which part?” Diluc shouts. A flurry of emotions rises up from within him. “Which part was real? Which part doesn’t involve you never telling the truth?”

The thought of his beloved older brother brandishing that claymore over him sends Kaeya reeling. “No, Luc. I came here a spy, but I…your father treated me so well, I never looked back once, I swear- Dad was always here for both of us-”

“Don’t you dare talk about Crepus like that.” Diluc hoists out his weapon in front of him. Fire starts burning at the tip of it. “Get away from me. Get away from me, you monster. The Abyss is the reason I lost everything. You’re the reason I lost everything.”

Kaeya takes one look at the burning claymore and starts trembling.

“Luc, please.” he whispers, collapsing to the floor. He’s feeling faint now. “You said you’d never hate me.”

It's not like him to be scared in this way. But he is.

“That was when I still believed in you.” Diluc advances towards him, and it’s at that time when Kaeya realizes just how angry his brother really is. “I hate you. I loathe you. You’re disgusting, you hear me?”

Kaeya lets Diluc hurl abuse at him. There’s no point in trying to argue.

He knows Diluc is right.

Monster.

Villain.

Disgusting. Horrible. Traitorous.

“I hate you, Kaeya.” Diluc gasps out, shaking his brother hard. There’s emotion flaming in his red eyes that fill with invisible tears. “I’ll kill you. I hate you so much, I’ll go to the ends of the earth to make sure you die, you mean nothing to me now, you hear me? You deserve it. You deserve to die.”

Kaeya smiles sadly, reaching out a hand to touch his brother’s cheek.

“I hate me too.”

Diluc slaps his hand away hard, pushing him so he falls to his knees against the carpeted floor. He takes a lock of Kaeya’s hair and jerks it upwards, forcing his brother to face him.

The outlander lets out a gasp of pain.

“Crepus gave you everything. You did nothing. You are nothing.”

Kaeya’s heart splinters.

“Please don’t hurt me.” he whispers. “You’re my brother. I can’t. I can’t ever hurt you back. Please, Luc, think about yourself…”

He sees Diluc’s grip on the weapon tighten, and he goes limp with fear.

“You’re making a mistake.”

A flame scorches his cheek. He holds in a gasp of pain, feeling the greatsword brush his face, ever so slightly, but it hurts.

“You’re my brother.” Kaeya crumples to the floor, his head throbbing. His bottom lip wobbles, like it used to when they were kids and he got injured playing. “Please…don’t…Luc, no, I can explain everything, you…you can’t do this, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, okay? Please…I need you…please forgive me…”

“I’m not your brother.” Diluc scorches.

“Luc, you’re hurting me…”

A sharp blow to the stomach silences the blue-haired boy. He bends double, his eyepatch falling from his head as the greatsword incinerates the string securing it in place.

He looks up.

His other eye reveals itself to Diluc.

It’s milky-white in the center, surrounded by a golden pupil, with cracks running down the skin that surrounds his eye. There’s blood caked around it.

Diluc’s emotions spiral out of control further. There’s no empathy. All he sees is an Abyssal monster. Something that should be dead. Something that he, Diluc Ragnvindr, has to kill.

A dribble of smoky-gray liquid comes out of Kaeya’s other eye.

He’s crying.

“Luc…” Kaeya thrusts out his hand, but he’s too exhausted, too heartbroken to get up. The bold, sweet older brother that he looked up to for years. The only thing he’ll ever need in his life, the one who always hugged him before bed and comforted him after a nightmare. The one who whispered that he would always, always need his baby brother- now standing over him, about to hack him to pieces with his burning greatsword.

He remembers them as children, when they were inseparable, when they’d hug and read each other’s minds and promise they’d be best friends forever. And Diluc would smile back at him, warm eyes sparkling with innocence, swear that they’d always be brothers, while Kaeya sank into his brother’s arms, knowing he was loved.

Don’t cry, Kae, it’s going to be okay. It makes me sad to see you sad like this, the younger Diluc in his mind soothes him, with temporary comfort that he drinks in like fine wine.

Now he’s alone. Unloved. And for good reason, too.

He deserves to die.

“Please…kill me.”

Diluc’s irises light up with a dangerous glow.

Kaeya knows he’s going to die. Tears run down his cheeks as he thrusts out his hands in front of himself uselessly, biting his lip in a feeble attempt to hold it in.

Please don’t leave me like this, his wretched heart cries out.

But Diluc can’t hear anything now.

“Get out of my life!” he shouts.

The claymore comes crashing down.

I should be dead.

I should be dead.

I should be

Why am I alive?

Kaeya asks himself this question every day.

The wounds on the surface heal. The Vision and the memories remain.

Jean knows something has changed that night. Nothing else.

Diluc quits the Knights of Favonius. He stops drinking and uses his Vision a lot less.

The Winery isn’t Kaeya’s home anymore. He has his own house in Mondstadt. It’s rather empty, save for a couple of spare eyepatches.

On the outside, he’s flawless as usual. Cheerfully running errands and riding out to complete commissions. The people of Mondstadt like him. It’s all so normal. So mundane.

They don’t see the side of him that heads into his office, at six in the morning on the dot, locks the door behind him and starts working to take his mind off things. He cries to himself in private when no one’s looking.

They don’t see the side of him that sits under the Statue of the Seven and stares blankly at the Winery, thinking of his gentle and kind big brother who hates him now.

They don’t see the side of him that walks into the Angel’s Share and orders a Death After Noon, whether he wants one or not, all so he can catch a glimpse of Diluc. The redhead is never happy to see him, glares and dishes up a bottle and waits for him to stumble out of the tavern as no more but a drunken sod who had one glass too many.

But it makes Kaeya happy to see that his Luc is still getting on well. Even without his so-called ‘brother’.

The people of Mondstadt also don’t see the side of him that locks himself in his house at night and cries himself to sleep, alone and afraid, wishing Diluc was next to him right now.

They don’t see how he sobs out Diluc’s name.

In front of them, he puts up a facade.

He does everything dutifully, as a good knight should. Leading expeditions and babysitting Klee while irresponsible Alice is off on her travels.

The way Klee calls him “big brother” makes him tear up inside.

But otherwise, he’s fine. He’s completely fine. Or so he says.

Diluc is used to Kaeya showing up.

He’s pushed his ex-brother out of his life, for the most part, though Kaeya seems to be somewhat insistent on being around him. Their only interactions are about the wine Kaeya’s getting drunk on. It’s usually the same crowd he’s hanging around- Venti and Rosaria and sometimes Eula.

Still, it doesn’t bother him much. It’s just a drink after all. Or so he thinks.

The night before his birthday, Kaeya shows up, as usual.

This time, he doesn’t order anything. He sits there, on the bar stool, right in front of the red-haired tavern owner, and waits.

Eventually, Diluc gets tired of having Kaeya’s stare bore into him the entire time he’s serving customers. He whirls around, a towel and a half-polished plate in his hand.

“What do you want?” he says, scowling. “If you want a Death After Noon, just order one already. You’re serving no purpose taking up a seat here.”

Kaeya tries not to flinch, looking Diluc square in the eye. “I hear it’s your birthday tomorrow, Master Diluc.” he says calmly.

“Yes, what about it?” Diluc frowns. He puts down the plate. He barely remembers his own birthday.

Kaeya shifts in his seat, this time awkwardly. “What would you like for your birthday?” he asks.

Diluc freezes up. Then anger rises in his stomach, bubbling up his throat. He blinks, as if he hasn’t heard right.

“I don’t want anything, thanks.” he replies curtly, going back to serving Venti his fifth dose of apple cider.

Kaeya curses himself for coming here to say this. What a stupid decision. Of course Diluc wouldn’t want anything from him.

“Are you sure?” he presses.

 Now that is an even dumber decision.

Diluc whirls to face him. His red hair smacks Kaeya full in the face, and the Cavalry Captain recoils, a wave of fear washing over him at Diluc’s terrifying expression.

“All I want for my birthday is for you to leave me alone and stop bothering me.” Diluc barks.

Kaeya’s heart skips a beat.

“Master Diluc, I…apologize.”

Diluc’s scowl deepens. He picks up the plate and polishes it so vigorously that he’s probably rubbing the patterns off the porcelain.

“Please, just leave.” he says coldly, turning away. “You know full well that I never want to see you again. Take a hint.”

Kaeya takes the hint.

He rises from his seat without ordering a drink, and leaves.

The Cavalry Captain’s gait turns into a sprint as he dashes through alleys and shortcuts, trying to find somewhere quiet, but it’s so loud. It’s all so loud. His cheeks burn, with humiliation, with hurt, and it feels like the tip of Diluc’s burning claymore pressing to his skin again, threatening to split his neck.

“…It hurts…”

He stumbles around a corner, trips, and falls on his face, feeling rough stone scrape his hands. His lungs clog up, and he gasps for air, as if it hurts to breathe.

He’s not crying, but his heart feels like it’s being squeezed. Diluc doesn’t want him here.

Why is he so persistent?

I wanted to get you something nice for your birthday.

I don’t know. I thought I could fix things.

I’ve made everything worse.

Wish I died that day. Instead of Crepus. So you could have your dad back.

And you’d never have to see me again.

Stupid old relentless me, who can’t stop coming here to haunt you and annoy you.

Then he thinks of Diluc’s words.

“All I want for my birthday is for you to leave me alone…”

Kaeya’s false smile fades.

Even if he wants Diluc back, his brother is long gone. He should’ve taken the hint a long time ago.

But he’s prepared for Diluc’s birthday already. The entirety of Mondstadt has.

Resting his head in his hands, he wonders what he should do next.

He’d rather die alone than watch his brother have to put up with him, and suffer.

He should have died. He should have let Diluc kill him that day.

At least he has his brother’s birthday wish now.

A wistful smile curves along Kaeya’s lips.

That wish, he can fulfil.

The calendar on the wall reads April 30.

Diluc listens to the wind whistling outside his window. It’s been exactly one year since the incident.

Sometimes, he wakes up and mumbles Kaeya’s name, like he’s forgotten they argued. Like they’re still kids, and this is all a bad dream, and his sweet baby brother will come running in and tackle him and poke him until he wakes up.

“Come on, lazybones, it’s already seven.”

Diluc can still hear his voice.

It’s his birthday today, though. He normally doesn’t celebrate much, and that is his plan for today. He knows some of Mondstadt’s heavy drinkers will want to throw him a wild party for the mere sake of drinking, though.

He shudders at the thought.

The day goes on, with people popping up to celebrate his birthday. He spends the morning at the winery. Toying around with wine recipes. Lunch alone at the manor. Setting off to Mondstadt, killing off a couple hilichurls who get in his way. The Knights bake him a cake, which is his exact favourite flavor, and tiny Klee draws him a picture of Dodoco, which he tucks into his pocket. Klee reminds him of a younger, more energetic version of his past self.

He’s getting a lot more gifts than he expected. People he barely knows are giving him all sorts of nice trinkets and foods and assortments of gifts.

It’s all a bit strange.

The tavern is also decorated, and Diluc does not remember putting up those fairy lights.

As he enters the tavern, a whoop rises up from those already seated. The room seems to be particularly rowdy today, even more so than that of his past birthdays.

“The Brewer is back!” shouts one of them.

“Happy birthday!” hollers another.

Venti is standing on the table. “Dandelion wine supremacy!” he hoots, already in a drunken state. Charles is seated at the bartender’s place, looking exhausted. “They’ve been here since dawn, would you believe.” mutters the bartender, slumping.

Diluc surveys his surroundings.

He gets to work, taking care of everyone’s orders. The scent of booze fills the air as the crowd overdoses on Dandelion Wine.

“Happy birthday to me.” he says, trying to sound grumpy as the crowd makes a toast to him, and Venti accidentally drops his wineglass, but honestly, he’s having a nicer time than he expected. Everyone is being so nice to him.

Soon enough, it’s nine o’clock.

Diluc squints. Kaeya should be here by now. He normally comes in at 8:30 without fail, rain or shine.

That’s odd. Perhaps Kaeya has gone and done something stupid again.

Oh, what do you care about that pathetic little brat? Diluc reminds himself. You don’t need to worry about him. He’s not your brother. Now stop overthinking and get back to calming the drunkards down.

The night blazes gold and silver with sparklers (generously donated by a certain Spark Knight and her alchemist friend), and even Jean drops by to order a small cup of apple cider to celebrate.

“Aren’t you going to drink a little?” Jean asks, motioning to Diluc’s untouched glass.

Diluc shakes his head.

“Oh, well.” Jean sighs. “Figured it was worth a try. By the way…” she tilts her head curiously. “Have you seen Kaeya around?”

Diluc snorts. “As if I would know.” he says sarcastically, but a stir of worry starts to churn inside him. If Jean is asking him , there’s probably something wrong.

“I thought he’d come here, honestly.” Jean says thoughtfully. “To perhaps celebrate your birthday. But apparently not. He’s been pretty lost without you, truth be told, so I thought he would want to be with his brother today.”

“Has he now?” Diluc says, trying to sound uninterested.

Jean nods. “He’s been going on about your birthday all month, you know.” she reveals. “He asked everyone to think of things you liked because he wanted you to enjoy your special day. He told everyone to decorate the tavern the night before your birthday after you left. He organized all this so you’d have a good time for once instead of being cooped up at the Winery stirring alcohol.”

“Oh.” Diluc pauses what he’s doing. “That’s…nice.”

What is this idiot doing, planning a grand celebration for me? Doesn’t he hate me?

“He really cares about you.” Jean sighs. “I don’t know what happened between you two, but for months after your last birthday, he overworked himself and would start crying at his desk when he thought no one was looking.”

Diluc gives her a look, ignoring the guilt tugging at his heart. “Why are you telling me any of this?”

“Because,” Jean says, in an almost reproachful fashion, “Kaeya hasn’t shown up to work the entire day, no one has seen him, and I have a feeling it’s linked to your birthday. He planned everything. So it’s strange for him to not be here now.”

“It’s unusual for him to not be here.” Diluc agrees. “Just last night, he came in here and sai-”

The thought hits him.

Oh.

Oh.

His birthday wish.

Diluc had told Kaeya that he wanted him to leave and not bother him. To never come back again.

Kaeya has always been one to take his requests quite literally.

He thinks he knows where this is going.

He stands up so fast that he knocks over the glass next to him.

“I need to go.” he tells Jean.

Then he throws open the door and runs out into the night.

Kaeya’s door is locked.

Diluc hammers on it, to no response. Eventually, he gets tired of knocking and pries open a window, unceremoniously climbing in and falling on his face after tripping.

“Kae?” he says uncertainly, half expecting the blue-haired young man to pop out and tease him for sounding like a worried parent. “I know we aren’t exactly on great terms right now, but Jean’s worried about you, you see, and…”

He trails off.

The room is barren. There’s a chair, a fireplace, and a carpet. That’s about it.

There’s a single piece of paper that’s discarded on the floor.

Diluc kneels and finds his name on it.

“Oh.” he says, and swears loudly.

Fear takes hold once again.

This won’t end well.

Dearest Diluc,

Happy birthday to the best wine-brewer in Teyvat. I hope you’re having a great day.

I used to get you all sorts of gifts. Some of them were handmade. Some bought. Once, I remember showing up with a ribbon wrapped around my head and telling you “I’m your birthday present!”.

That’s all old news now, I’m afraid.

Your birthday was coming up again, and I didn’t know what to get you. I knew you didn’t want anything from me. But I asked anyway. I’m stupid that way.

I know you hate having to see me every day I come into the tavern and get so drunk I can barely walk.

I know you hate that I always seem to be there, when all you want is to have me gone from your life.

It is a selfish decision of mine. To come and find you every day, for my own selfish desire to see my former brother, and friend. For that, I am sorry.

For your birthday, I now enclose this letter.

I know you want me gone from your life as fast as possible. I apologize for the fact it never worked out between us. I wish that it could have ended differently, for both of our sakes.

So I decided the best gift for you would be for me to leave.

I hope you’re happier now. I hope you find a friend who treats you right. Someone who tells you the truth and doesn’t hide around in the shadows messing with fate.

I was born evil, and that’s why fate could never make us get along. Fire and ice are enemies, and forever will be. I don’t blame you.

So I will take my leave now.

Perhaps I will miss you.

Farewell, dearest former brother, and thank you.

Happy birthday.

Kaeya

-

In the icy cold mountains of Dragonspine, snow falls on a shivering silhouette.

“Guess who’s back.” Kaeya murmurs, trudging through the wintry landscape until he can’t walk anymore. He’s been wandering since early morning.

All he can think of is Diluc.

He hopes that his old friend is enjoying his birthday.

He sits down, tucking himself in between two rocks where the wind howls with less strength. It’s the same place the adventurers found him in when he was twelve.

Except he’s not going to be found now.

“Are you happy?” he says quietly, to the Diluc in his mind. The snow falls faster, harder, until he feels frost form around his fingertips and he pulls his knees to his chest.

He’s going to die here, all alone. Maybe some of Mondstadt’s people will miss him. Maybe they won’t. But it all seems so insignificant next to the empty feeling that burns through Kaeya’s chest when he knows Diluc will be happy to see the back of him.

Monsters don’t get happy endings.

I don’t want to die like this. But this is the only way.

If I’m gone, Luc will be happy. I want to make him happy.

He pulls off his eyepatch and places it on the ground. Then he unhooks his Vision from his belt and puts it next to the patch.

He holds his own hand and pretends it’s Diluc soothing him. Just like that fateful day so many years ago. Hallucinations act up, playing with his mind and tearing his heart apart with every memory that floats around him. He can see his brother smiling at him, so radiantly, stroking his hair, whispering words of comfort in his ears. Soft hands squeezing his clammy palms, promises that would be broken someday, and the innocent, kind boy with fiery red hair.

“It makes me sad to see you sad, Kae.”

It’s a beautiful, wild delusion that he yearns to touch.

He reaches out to touch his brother’s cheek.

Diluc dissipates, and Kaeya lowers his head, cursing his own stupidity. It was nothing more than an illusion.

He realizes how lonely he’s been all his life.

Snow continues to fall, filling in his footsteps, all around him, erasing every last trace of his memory. The sky mocks him, and he dares not raise his eyes to the heavens, for he is born of sin. He has never been good enough- not for Celestia, not for Teyvat, not for his former brother.

“Happy birthday, Luc.” he gasps out, a tear trickling down his cheek. “Forget me.”

From that day onwards, that pair of twinkling eyes- one blue, one golden- will never more be seen.

-

In front of the winery, there’s a gravestone.

There’s no corpse beneath it, since he was never found. Only his eyepatch, and his Vision, drained of colour. It’s like he vanished from Teyvat entirely.

Diluc assumes that it means his brother is dead.

“Rest in peace.” he tastes the word on his tongue. “I’m sorry, Kaeya…Ragnvindr.”

He hears a light chuckle that he’s probably imagining. It sounds like Kaeya’s. Airy, smooth laughter that thaws and warms his frozen heart.

Diluc sits down and leans against the gravestone like he used to sit next to Kaeya as children.

I’ll never forget you, Kae.

He buries his face in his hands, and lets shame take over his aching heart.

Kaeya Ragnvindr is gone.