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She lays a hand on the smooth surface of GLaDOS’ casing and at first all she can think of is how warm she feels. With the facility so cold and clinical, and the imposing chassis of GLaDOS’ frame no exception, it’s easy to forget the constant hum of machinery, hot under the metallic surface. GLaDOS doesn’t move at first, surprised, maybe; Chell slides her hand up a bit, feels the worn edges where the shine of the casing’s scratched off, and the mechanical whirr picks up a little. Like a heartbeat. How long since GLaDOS was last touched, she thinks, not for assembly or maintenance but for the sake of contact? Too long, probably; a lifetime ago. Before this life. Before this body. Caroline.
“What are you doing,” GLaDOS says, slowly, but of course she gets no response and as the question tapers off into silence Chell fancies she can hear a falter in her voice. She may be all steel and plastic but she reacts like anyone else, has her tells if you know how to read them. Chell knows. Sometimes she doesn’t know anything else. After all, there is nothing else in the big white rooms of Aperture, besides that voice echoing softly, always there, like she’s trying to fill the silence she built for herself. Nothing to do but listen, and she’s picked up the way GLaDOS sounds when she’s distressed or angry or lonely, the way the speech software wavers and skips over a halfhearted threat or an obvious lie. She’s so transparent even now, perfectly still, the yellow light in its socket flickering once almost too quick to catch. If she had breath she would be holding it.
Chell sighs, the closest to words she’ll allow herself, rests her cheek against her, twines her fingers in the wires further back. The metal’s too warm now, hot to the touch, and it’s a poor substitute for human contact but that’s only the ghost of a memory by now, and she decides this is enough. GLaDOS shifts a little, and Chell wonders if she could even reciprocate, like this. She can reach out with flames and spikes and poison, to be sure, but could she be gentle, if she wanted to, or is she only built for violent things? Her voice is all she has left for kindness and yet she falls silent, now. She’s not used to this. Chell taps a beat onto the smooth surface, dredging up the dots and dashes she can remember: .-.. — …- . / -.– — ..- . GLaDOS can learn, maybe. Eventually.
She parts from her, finally, lays a kiss on scuffed metal and walks away. As she leaves she hears GLaDOS call, hesitant, “Are you still there?” but she keeps walking, boots clicking on the hallway floor. I’m not, but you are, she thinks. GLaDOS is everywhere. She’s in the walls and in the vents and here at the heart; the facility itself, even, built the bones of Caroline’s life. GLaDOS is Aperture, in every sense, and Chell doesn’t doubt she’ll make it out alive, but sometimes she wonders if she wants to.
