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The first thing he noticed when he came to was that his chest hurt.
Turning his head to the side, Tubbo cracked his eyes open. Immediately regretted it. There was a whooshing noise, some sort of annoying beeping. “Turn the beeping off.” He mumbled, the words slurring even to him but he knew what he was saying. Of course he did. He was the one saying it. Somewhere, there was a soft laugh. Glaring in their direction, Tubbo growled, “Turn it off.”
“That’s your heart monitor, Tubbs.” Dream’s voice said lightly. Tipping his head to the other side, Tubbo opened his eyes. Looked over at the EKG and made a face that he knew was disgusted. Properly disgusted, too. As was his right. His throat hurt, his teeth felt weird.
“Did I get my wisdom teeth out?” He mumbled, dropping his hand to the side. Eyes half-open, still very much out of it, he dragged his tongue over his teeth. They did feel weird, but the spots where his wisdom teeth had been were definitely long-empty, and there wasn’t anything in his mouth that meant he had been bleeding. “Mmmf. What happened? Did I say something embarrassing and get in a fight?” This was one hell of a fight, then. His chest hurt. Like, really really bad. Well, it was more of a dull ache, in all honesty. Still very annoying. But not sharp, so he could deal with it. Probably ask the doctors anyways.
“I mean, you definitely got something off your chest.” Tipping his head to the side, Tubbo looked at Dream. Spotted Schlatt and Puffy standing behind him.
“The fuck ya mean? Where the—where’re Punz and Purpled and…Sam?” He asked, taking a slow breath. His chest twinged. Reaching up, he dropped a hand on his chest. “My chest hurts.” He paused. Looked down at his chest. Looked over at Dream. “Am I dreaming?”
“Nope.” Dream popped the ‘p’, then handed him a can of something. Pineapple juice. “It’s an anti-inflammatory.” Tubbo paused, wrapped his fingers around the pineapple juice can. There was an IV in the back of his hand.
Tubbo passed out as soon as he realized the needle was still in him.
+++
“Do you want another saltine?”
Looking over at Dream, still half-asleep, Tubbo nodded. Dream held out the saltine to him, since Tubbo couldn’t exactly move his arms and his chest was covered in pillows so their pets wouldn’t jump on him, and Tubbo opened his mouth. Grabbed the saltine in his teeth. Slowly, he got it into his mouth, tipped his head back to rest on his current living pillow, Rocky, and started eating. “You’re so tired. Also pretty cute.” Puffy snorted, taking a picture. “I’m sending this to Niki and the rest of the group chat.”
Clumsily, Tubbo tried to flip her off. Dream grabbed his wrist and gently pinned it to the couch. “Whoa, man, don’t do that. You’re going to want to keep your arms down. Don’t want to stretch your scars out, that might make it harder to move your arms eventually and it could hurt.”
“I want cool scars.”
“And you can have cool scars. Just let’s not make them worse than they need to be, alright?” Dream asked. Inhaling slowly, Tubbo let out a long, slow groan. Closed his eyes. “Do you want me to call Tommy and Ranboo? Have them come over?” Tubbo nodded sleepily. “Alright. Do you want me to put a movie on in the meantime and get you some more blankets?”
“That’d be nice.” Tubbo mumbled. Puffy walked over, holding out some pineapple juice in a can. Looking over, he spotted the straw she and Dream had put together. He grabbed it, looked down at it, and spent the next couple of minutes trying to get it into his mouth. It was…definitely taking a bit. “Come back here.” He mumbled, noticing Puffy filming him in the corner. He threw a middle finger her way, she snorted softly. “If I throw up, it’s going to be on you.”
“It wouldn’t be the first time.” She replied, kissing his hair and then dodging off. Probably to annoy Schlatt, if he had to guess. She liked to do that.
Tubbo went back to the straw. Eventually, fed up, he snapped, “Holy crayoli, get back here.” He heard Dream’s normal wheeze-laughter. Looking up at him, Tubbo snapped, “Hey, wheezer. Call Tommy and Ranboo. I wanna have a sleepover and they aren’t here to do that.”
“Alright, alright. Man, you getting top surgery made you such a bitch.” Tubbo scowled at him. Pausing, Dream tipped his head to the side. “Bastard. Not bitch. Working on it.”
“I will take your knees.” Tubbo loudly slurped pineapple juice through the straw. Looking down as Dream dialled in the numbers, he mused, “Did you know pineapples technically eat you at the same time you eat them? Because of the…citric acid or something like that.” He shrugged. Next to him, Dream looked at him in horror.
“They what?”
“You heard me.” Shrugging, Tubbo turned back to his drink. Then, he settled back. Rocky rubbed his face against Tubbo’s cheek. “Hi, bubba. Excuse me for a second.” Taking a breath, Tubbo belted, “PUNZ!”
“WHAT?” Punz yelled back.
“COME HELP ME PICK OUT A MOVIE!” There were scrambling footsteps down the stairs, and Punz and Purpled both appeared. Shoving Purpled back by the face, Punz looked to Tubbo.
“Don’t you dare pick out—” Purpled started. Grabbing him, Punz covered their brother’s mouth with a hand. Squirming, Purpled kicked at him, but Punz just hefted him up with an arm around his middle, held him like a football, and kept his mouth covered with his other hand.
“What did you want to watch?”
+++
Tubbo ended up having to plant a foot in Tommy’s chest and kick him away before he flopped on top of him.
“OW! What the fuck, big man?” Tommy asked, rubbing at his chest. Looking at him, Tubbo gestured to his chest, leaned over to the cupholder and sipped his pineapple juice. It was his third one of the day. He was so hydrated he was having to go to the loo what felt like every six seconds. Which wasn’t fun, because every time he left Patches and Rocky got into a battle of who got to scarf around Tubbo’s neck. Currently, they had decided that Rocky would get to be a scarf and Patches would sit on Tubbo’s head instead. Like some sort of awkward hat from the sixties or something. It was cute, there wasn’t any denying that, but Tubbo was pretty sure that the other cats were sending him judgemental looks every time they walked by. Except for Jambo. Jambo just didn’t have any brain cells, though, except for the ones to find and eat fridge magnets.
Elbowing Tommy sharply, Ranboo leaned in and whispered in Tommy’s ear. Eyes widening, Tommy looked at Tubbo. His mouth dropped into an “O”. “Yeah.” Tubbo mumbled. Dropping down next to him, Ranboo casually threw an arm over his shoulders.
“Congrats, big man. You feeling alright?” Ranboo asked.
“I feel like someone ran over my chest with a tractor. With the…thing…blades…sharp rotator blade thingy on.” Tubbo replied. Leaning over, he grabbed the strew with his mouth and started drinking more pineapple juice. “I’ve been nursing pineapple juices all day.”
“Fun. Did they make you pee in a cup?” Tommy asked, dropping down on Tubbo’s other side. Scowling at him with narrowed eyes, Tubbo waited. Holding up his hands, Tommy said, “What? It’s an honest question! Don’t you two give me that look.”
“They did not.” Tubbo growled back. Reiterating, he added, “They did not make me pee in a cup, thanks. They did ask me if I was taking any drugs. So…no weed if I ever want to get any dentistry work done. Apparently it can kill you.” Ranboo and Tommy shared a look. Nodding, Tubbo went back to his drink. “Or, on the other hand, just don’t smoke weed.”
“Alright. Anyways, what movies do we have tonight?” Tubbo pointed to the side table with his toe, kept drinking pineapple juice. {Puffy had jokingly said he was drinking pineapple juice like he was a soldier drinking alcohol in the Civil War as the doctor came to saw his leg off. He replied that technically that already had happened, the doctor just took his tits instead. She had laughed at that. Their transphobic uncle, who had been on call with her at the time, called it offensive to people who’d had cancers that resulted in them needing mastectomies. Total straw man argument, Tubbo literally could not care less. So he told the dude to calm his tits, because his uncle had not gotten that surgery and his straw man was someone Tubbo had never met and thus could not check in with. Also…trans people should be allowed to make jokes about stuff that stressed them out? Which was obvious?)
“Ooh, read them off.” Tubbo ran a hand over his face. There was a weird burst of pain. Frowning, he ran his hand over his eyebrows. Paused.
“Why does my eyebrow hurt?” He asked softly. Immediately, Tommy and Ranboo turned and looked at him curiously. Both of them seemed equally confused. Not like Tubbo could explain, though.
Shrugging, Tommy turned back to the movies, read them out, and they voted to watch the How to Train Your Dragon trilogy.
+++
Tubbo had been walking around with T-rex arms, and now he was sitting in the bathroom trying to brush his teeth.
He was also failing at trying to brush his teeth. Walking in, Tommy frowned at him, but let him do what he needed. Instead, he set up his own toothpaste and sat on the counter. Ranboo, meanwhile, walked in. Sighed. “Okay, okay, come here.” Ranboo guided him over to the toilet and had him sit down on the lid, took the toothpaste tube and the toothbrush, and looked at him. “How much toothpaste do you put on? Let me know?” He looked at Tubbo as he squeezed some toothpaste on the brush.
“That’s good.” Tubbo said, hands settled on his lap. He took a slow breath. “Can you get it wet?”
“Mhmm, sure.” Ranboo got the brush wet, then turned to him. “Mouth open.”
“You don’t need to brush my teeth.”
“You’re going to hurt yourself.”
“No, I—I knew you were going to do that but it’s—it’s an electric one.” Tubbo replied, snorting softly. Looking down, Ranboo paused.
“Oh.” He figured out where the button was, and Tommy just sat there and watched calmly as Tubbo and Ranboo tried to figure out how the fuck they were meant to do this. They definitely got some toothpaste on the floor. Tommy was nice enough to clean it up. Well, in between cackling his head off. In retaliation, Ranboo smeared some toothpaste (fresh out of the tube, not foam) on the back of Tommy’s shirt. This led to Tubbo watching a fight between Ranboo and Tommy, where they smeared foaming soap all over one another’s faces and arms and hands. They threw a few joking punches, and then Tubbo started cackling and ow that was a major mistake.
Coughing, he doubled over. His phone alarm went off. Both Tommy and Ranboo turned to look at him, curious. “Ow.” Tubbo mumbled, leaning against the counter. Looking at his phone, he groaned, “Ughhhhhhh I gotta do my draaaaainnnns.” He moaned irritably.
Ranboo immediately volunteered. “Do you want help with that?”
“Yes, please.” Tubbo sighed.
Long story short, Ranboo passed out at the sight of the blood coming out of the drains and Tommy just managed to catch him before setting him on the floor, getting his feet up on the edge of the tub, and then Tommy went right back to helping Tubbo drain…the drains. Kind of what they just needed to do, obviously.
Switching shirts was fun. Tubbo had elected, for some reason, not to go for a button-up. So, he needed Tommy and Ranboo to help him not tear his scars and stitches by taking off the shirt. It was pretty funny. Schlatt walked in, stared at them for a good ten seconds in pure confusion, and then walked over and helped, too. They got Tubbo into an actual button-up over the medical binder he was wearing, layered a zip-up hoodie on top of that , and then they ate breakfast and the three of them decided to go for a walk.
Walks were fun, and also Tubbo really should be doing light walking since he didn’t need to stay on bed rest. He shouldn’t be working out , obviously. But a walk wouldn’t hurt him.
By the time they got home, Tubbo dropped down on the couch. Tommy hurried over to the couch, dropped down and lifted Tubbo up so he wasn’t lying on his stomach and chest, and got him supported by some pillows. The whole time, Tubbo…maybe pretended that he was unconscious from the painkillers he was still on. Tommy complained a lot less than he thought. Nah, Ranboo complained a lot more than he did, which was pretty entertaining. Then, they settled down around Tubbo, someone put a blanket on top of him, and they apparently decided to all take a nap.
Now, Tubbo wasn’t exactly going to enjoy not being able to use his arms for the next…however long it was, but at least he got something off his chest.