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“Ah, Felix! Have you bychance seen General Shez around?”
“W-why would I know where that woman is?”
“…because I witnessed the pair of you leaving the mess hall together…?”
“Well…then check her tent. She usually checks her paperwork after meals.”
Dimitri ignores the blatant fact that Felix memorized her schedule, knowing it would only fluster the Duke into a rampage.
“Ah, thank you. I will do just that. I am glad the two of you seem to be getting along well. Kindred spirits?”
Felix blushes, turning his burning face away from his King.
“…You could say that.”
“She is remarkable.” Dimitri muses with an exaggerated sigh. His metal-plated hands come to rest on his hips. “I will say, I have never seen a person utilize two swords with as much finesse as our General. She wields them like they weigh nothing more than a branch! A sound mind for combat as well as a sharp wit? Not to mention her beauty-“
At this Felix whirls on Dimitri, face heated.
“Have you no shame, your highness? Speaking of Shez like this…”
“Felix, relax! All I said was that she was beautiful!”
“I know what is implied.”
“And how can you tell what is implied while you are casting stones from a glass house, Duke Fraldarius? Are you imagining different words to describe her? Or certain parts of her?”
Felix scoffs, throwing out a dismissive wave of his hand.
“The cheek on you today, Boar…it’s unbecoming.”
“You must forgive me, Felix; it’s been a long time since I have been able to tease you about the people you fancy.”
“‘ The people I fancy’ ? I fancy no one.”
“Not even our dear General? Who you have been seeing every day this week for a meal? Privately?”
“That’s it, I have work to attend to. I will no longer entertain this inappropriate interrogation. Some of us do not waste our time fantasizing about our comrades.”
“Alright, alright; I apologize. But, Felix,” he grabs his friend by his arm. “You do deserve to be happy. Do not forget that.”
“…sure. Thanks.”
—
He hesitates as he nears her tent, a sudden chill of nerves prickles on the back of his neck. Why was he even here? He didn’t have anything to say to her, particularly. He just sort of…ended up here. Staring at the back of her head while she was hunched over her desk.
She was twirling a piece of her long, violet hair absently as she scribbled on a piece of parchment. Most likely she didn’t even realize she was doing it. How cute.
Cute.
He can't help but blush and run a hurried hand down his chin. Was he really thinking of her that way? That stupid Boar must be getting to him, damn him; going on about how beautiful, strong, and determined General Shez is. How daring and clever she is. Or how she bounces her leg when she gets impatient or bored. Or when she concentrates she purses her lips and twirls her hair. Or whenever she looks at Felix he feels like there are stones in his shoes and his palms start to sweat and he just wants to be closer to her—
Goddess.
He didn’t need to see his face to know how hot and red it was. Felix snapped his gaze away from the back of Shez’s head and clenched his fists. He felt embarrassed for thinking like this so suddenly. When did he start noticing these things about her? Anyone with eyes could see she’s beautiful. Dimitri said as much!
This is ridiculous. Why is he even here?!
Felix turns to leave until he hears her voice ring clear as day, and all time stops.
“Felix, hey! Come over here a sec!”
His feet move on their own, his mind awash with a warm glow. She called to him first. He looks up and meets her friendly gaze, noticing the brilliant and unabashed smile she bore to him. Felix felt as if an arrow pierced his heart. Shez stepped to the side and gestured for him to come closer, right beside her. When he looked at her desk he saw a map of the area around the city of Fhirdiad, along with a few miscellaneous documents. Letters, perhaps? Random scribblings? Felix swears he sees a drawing of someone with a sword—
“Oh, shit, don’t mind that stuff; hold on.”
Shez hurriedly scoops up all the papers, leaving only the map. She stuffs them haphazardly into a drawer somewhere and hurries back to Felix and the map.
“I need your help with something very important.”
At this, he raises an eyebrow but says nothing, yet.
“If I were to…find the tallest mountain — or cliff —in the entire Kingdom of Faerghus…where would that be?”
A second rolls by. Then two.
“…why?”
“I…don’t really know if I should tell you…”
“Why….?”
“Look, I’ll settle for a really tall building, okay? I’m not really familiar with the Holy Kingdom’s topography.”
“Shez, just tell me why.”
“I need to…jump off somewhere high to test something.”
“To test what? How many lives you have? Last I checked, General, you’re no feline.”
“You’re not far off…”
“You can’t be serious! You’re actually a madwoman.”
“It’s a lot to explain and I don’t think you have the time or patience to sit through it right now, okay?”
She got him, there. But, he couldn’t shake this feeling of dread that settled in his stomach. What could throwing herself off a building hope to accomplish? Felix supposed it wasn’t unheard of for magical or otherwise unexplainable miracles to occur in the world — the Crests come to mind, however the possibility of Shez getting herself hurt…made the concerned pit grow wider.
“You really think that lowly of me?” Felix scoffs, a dark chuckle had found its way into his tone. “I am far more patient than you think, General.”
Shez blinks at him in surprise, mouth slightly ajar at his teasing tone and the words he spoke. She looked as if she didn’t expect Felix to push back about the details. A smug, lopsided smirk tugged the corner of his lips. He liked catching her off guard, especially if she makes that cute expression.
Cute.
He didn’t remember when in the conversation this happened, but now he was close enough to her that his shoulder touched hers, still standing side by side. She doesn’t recoil from contact. In fact, she closed her mouth silently and the faintest glow flushed her cheeks red.
“Oh…I will…keep that in mind, then.” A bout of silence passes between them, the wheel in Shez’s head turning as she tries to continue their conversation. “I’m sorry Felix, I-I didn’t mean to imply you didn’t care about my problems…It’s just that you don’t really seem interested in getting to know people, so I just figured—.”
“I got it.”
A silence falls over them, again. Shez isn’t looking at him anymore and the warmth of her shoulder disappears. Shit, why was he so bad at this? It was bad enough that she thinks he’s not interested in her—her issues —and now his mouth is betraying him. Goddess, this is just like when he was a kid. Never able to hold back anything, no matter who he spoke to. No wonder he didn’t have many friends, save for the ones he made as a child. Truly pathetic.
“…truthfully, Felix…I want to get to know you better. You’re our King’s right hand and I’m his military’s General, shouldn’t we at least be more friendly with each other? Our jobs do play into each other, every so often.” Shez pauses, Felix waits in baited breath as he tries not to let it show on the surface. He glances at her out of the corner of his eye. She was gazing pensively at her map of Fhirdiad. “…I also just want to be closer to you because I…I really admire you. You’re an incredible swordsman, one of the best I’ve ever seen, and I just can’t help but want to know you.”
No force of nature could hold back the tidal wave of warmth that crashed into Felix. Pure euphoria. She wanted to know him.
She admired him.
He didn’t know what to say. What could he say? His tongue felt heavy in his mouth and his lips felt drier than the Valley of Torment. Embarrassment settled in his stomach once the shock of it all washed over him. Why was he getting so bothered over simple admiration? It’s not like she’s confessing her love to him. But, why did that make him disappointed?
Felix can’t look at her anymore, nor could he let her see the state his face was in; fighting the smile and bright scarlet that exploded across his features. His imagination was going in a million different directions, all at once. What would he have done if she did confess her love? The thought was too much to bear. Felix thinks he would be okay with that.
A frustrated growl comes from beside him and he feels the wind kick up as Shez begins to pace back and forth.
“Dammit, Felix, will you at least look at me?” She demands. “Goddess, I-I’m starting to feel a little agitated that I-I am… baring my soul to you and you’re just not saying anything! If you don’t want to have a friendship, then just say it. I’m sick and tired of this hot-and-cold with you! I try to be friendly and you push me away, yet you come to my tent asking to eat together? And spar with me regularly? A-and bring me gifts? Yet, we barely speak! Felix, I feel like a fool. Is there something I’m missing…?”
Her words hang between them and her feet bring her directly back in front of Felix, so he can see her exposed eye clearly — filled with determination. He knew that look. It was the same one she had when they spared together; fierce, unwavering determination to win. To get what she wants.
He can't hide from that gaze.
It’s then that he hears the Boar King’s words echo in his thoughts.
‘A sound mind for combat as well as a sharp wit? Not to mention her beauty.’
Her beauty.
Her beautiful, endless violet eyes. Her slender nose and high cheekbones. The softness of her features when she catches him just staring at her; there must have been something in Felix’s expression as he watched her that relaxed her, maybe eased her worries as to how he felt. But, he still had to say something. Anything. He owed it to Shez, because she was right. What he wanted from her wasn’t friendship.
In a moment of courage, his gloved thumb finds the single angry tear that rolled down her flushed cheek. She cries when she’s angry . Felix’s thumb lingers for a moment; a small, audible intake of breath from Shez results. He can't believe he’s just staring into her like this, inside of her tent with the door flap open. He can't believe he’s touching her face like this and she’s not pulling away. In fact, her hand comes up to rest on his wrist encouragingly.
Did she want him to —?
“Felix…please…kiss me.”
Goddess, when did she get so close? She was touching his chest with her free hand, fingers splayed against the brilliant blue of his overcoat. All the encouragement he needed. Both of Felix’s hands fell to her face and he brought his lips down upon hers so tenderly, as if his kiss would shatter her. He wasn’t ever good with his words, but he always tried to lead with action. This was no different.
Shez sighs, parting her lips eagerly against Felix’s as his grip shifts to encircle her waist. Her arms slid around his neck and into his dark hair, pulling it free from its tie and taking a fistful of it at the base of Felix’s skull. His appreciation is made known via a strangled moan against her lips and him guiding her so ass is perched neatly on her writing desk, on top of her map of Fhirdiad.
Felix takes a moment to pull his gloves off and toss them haphazardly to the ground, their lips never parting from each other as their tongues intermingled; like they were starving for each other. His naked palms find her thigh and spread her legs apart so he could settle between them. A flurry of kisses find Shez’s lips, cheek, ear, and neck. He can't seem to make up his mind as to where he wants to go, he just wants it all. Felix moves Shez’s collar to the side and his teeth take a daring bite of her shoulder, coaxing a gasp of surprise out of his partner. The hands in his hair tugged him away but he came right back, beginning to suck on the bite mark and turn it a deep red.
Shez groans, her teeth dig into her bottom lip and her legs wind around Felix’s hips; a conscious effort to bring the both of them so deliciously close. Her fingers find the clasp on his heavy cape and in an instant, releases it to the ground to join his gloves. But, there were still more layers on him, Goddess damn it. She wanted to feel his skin, just like he was feeling hers.
“General Shez, do you have a— oh!”
Ashe.
Shez’s eyes burst open and she makes immediate eye contact with Ashe Ubert, who was standing in the threshold of her tent with a scribe-board in his hand. Though, now he was using it to cover his eyes. The equipment manifest. They were supposed to talk about the military’s equipment shipment for the month—
“I’m terribly sorry! I-I should have knocked or whistled o-or—I’ll just—I-I’m going now!”
And he was gone, the tent flap blowing closed behind him with his hasty exit. At least now the door was shut.
An uncomfortable silence rolled in as Felix still rested in between her legs with his gaze on the table behind Shez, too terrified to move when he heard Ashe’s voice. Maybe he didn’t know it was Felix?
No, he knew. There was no way he couldn’t have known.
He wanted to run away from this situation, white hot embarrassment stabbed at his stomach. Why didn’t he hear someone coming? Shez was just too distracting. He should be ashamed of himself for putting her in such a compromising position. Now it might ruin her reputation!
Her touch on his face brings him out of his thoughts. She was holding the sides of his face delicately, gazing at him with unbridled adoration. His mind is emptied in an instant before filling again with thoughts of her. Only her. The way she was looking at him was too much. It made his chest tighten. His fingers brush away the purple fringe that hung over one of her eyes so he can see all of her.
“…Please tell me I’m not crazy for thinking that you want me, too…” she implores meekly.
“You’re not.”
His nose brushes against hers. If she wasn’t going to run, then neither was he.
A shaky breath leaves Shez and a laugh of relief, as well. Her fingers tremble on his cheeks. He turns his face to plant a kiss to her left palm, and his hands come to hold onto hers. Felix hardly felt like he was doing any of this consciously, it was like he was possessed. Like he had acquiesced his control to some force greater than him.
His gaze meets hers, finally, and she sees everything he’s trying to hide; the white-hot desire that pooled in those amber depths, molten gold that she could drown in. Felix presses another kiss to her palm, his eyes never leaving hers. Shez swallows thickly.
“Felix…”
“I’ve wanted you since the day I met you at Gareg Mach, two years ago. Though, I might not have realized it.” He admits, seeing no point in hiding that fact, now. “Your swordsmanship, your compassion, your drive…you make me want to do better, to be better.”
Somehow, tears had found their way into her eyes and Shez hurriedly wiped them away, hopefully before Felix saw them. She was just so relieved. Relieved that she wasn’t the only one who felt that way, that she wasn't crazy for hoping he could possibly feel the same.
He takes this moment to lean in again, his lips brushing tenderly across hers before retreating as soon as they arrive. Felix pulls back and Shez looks at him, really looks at him. The way his dark hair fell around his face, messy from Shez dragging her fingers through his tresses. The way his lips were slightly puffy from the assault on them not a minute previous — she reaches out to run her thumb across his lower lip absently. Felix shivers.
“Shez,” he warns, tongue slipping out to wet his dry bottom lip. The tip brushes against her thumb. She can’t help but kiss him again. He groans. “Shez, if we keep this up, we might end up doing something we’ll regret—“
“I would never regret any of our time together, Felix.”
He chuckles darkly. “You know what I mean.” He says before removing himself from between her legs, bending down to pick his cape off of the floor and fastening it back around his shoulders.
A moment of silence passes between them, this time different than the ones previous. It was comfortable. They simply gazed at each other; Shez from on top of her table and Felix standing nearby, fighting the urge to throw her down on her cot and remove her clothes. Shez closes her legs with a giggle, catching his line of sight disappearing between her thighs.
“…I should probably go train with Dedue. I promised I’d meet him soon.” He mutters, his gaze still trained on her thighs. He thinks about how delicious a bite of her would taste—
“Okay…” she smiles. “And I-I should go…find Ashe, probably.”
“Okay. I’ll see you later, then.” Again, a silence befalls them. A moment passes before Felix strides up to Shez once more and holds her face in his bare palms, then gives her one last tender kiss. Her heart felt like it was set to burst. She reaches to grasp onto his cape when he turns to leave her tent, but she lowers it. He rushes out the tent flap, a breeze following in his wake.
She notices that he didn’t take a moment to put his hair back up in its usual ponytail, the realization makes her giggle; knowing it was her fault he was too flustered to remember such a detail.
Then, her gaze is brought to the floor as she notices a pair of white gloves laying there, unclaimed. He forgot his gloves, too. All the more reason to see him again. But, now she had to go locate Ashe and apologize for scaring him for eternity with Felix’s tongue down her throat. If Dimitri or Sylvain ever found out that Ashe of all people walked in on her and Felix…they’d never hear the end of it, neither would Ashe.
Shez picked up the stark white gloves and ran her thumb over the material fondly. A wistful smile bloomed across her lips. She couldn’t wait to see him again.