Chapter Text
“Oh, I‘m not sure if I gave Giles the phone number for our hotel in Paris!” Buffy said, stopping in the middle of the plane's corridor, thinking hard and inadvertently blocking the path of several people behind her who had also just boarded the plane to Tokyo.
Spike took her hand and pulled her along. “You did! You gave him the whole bloody list! I was there when you did it! Remember?” he assured her.
“Yeah, but was Paris on it?” she asked, still worried.
“Of course it was! Stop worrying so much, pet—we’re on vacation now!” They made it to their row, and Spike lifted their hand luggage into the overhead compartments. In their row sat a middle-aged man and an older lady, maybe 75 years old. Buffy took the seat next to her, greeting her with a polite smile. Spike sat on the aisle seat, as far from the windows as possible. They hadn’t expected to see any sunlight on their flight, having carefully chosen a night departure, but he still felt safer there.
After telling Giles she was planning a two-week world tour with a notorious Slayer killer—aka her boyfriend—Buffy had to spend two more days convincing him she’d be all right and that Spike wouldn’t do anything to harm her! After all, her friends had already had some time to adjust to the two of them being together. Giles, however, insisted on getting the phone numbers and addresses of each of their locations, and Buffy agreed to check in daily. He also reminded her more than once that it was unwise to leave the Hellmouth for so long, doing his best to make her feel guilty about it. And she did! She’d worried ever since they began the journey. Now, at Washington Airport, they were heading to Tokyo, then Novosibirsk, then Paris (a Buffy request), and finally to Venice, their main destination. Spike couldn’t travel by day, so they had to head west, following the night and making several stops until sunlight faded again.
Her mother, Joyce, also insisted Buffy stay in touch, but was less concerned than Giles. They agreed that she would alternate calling her mom one day and Giles the next, and so on. Willow and Oz had been happy for her, wishing her a great trip. Only Xander, as expected, sided with Giles. For reasons Buffy couldn’t understand, Xander just couldn’t stand Spike, despite Spike’s patience and even attempts to befriend him. She hoped things would get better in time.
Meanwhile, the plane had taken off and reached altitude, and the stewardess was now distributing drinks. Spike beckoned her over impatiently. “Oi!” He leaned forward to read her name tag. “Sally! Right then, what’ve you got? Anything decent to pass the time?”
To Buffy, her boyfriend always sounded very British, but she’d noticed he could sometimes sound three times as British—like when he was upset, half asleep, or drunk. He also seemed to ramp up his accent intentionally, knowing its charm on American women, as he did with the stewardess now.
“We have wine and champagne, sir,” she replied with a smile.
“Excellent! I’ll take champagne for my love here.” The stewardess handed Buffy a small bottle of champagne and a plastic cup.
“Spike!” she protested.
“Oh, come on! Let’s relax a bit!” he coaxed, then addressed the flight attendant again. “Do you have anything stronger?”
“We have whiskey and vodka,” she replied.
“Perfect! Whiskey for me, please!” She handed him a miniature bottle of whiskey along with a cup, but he reached into her trolley and took a few more bottles.
“Spike!” Buffy protested again.
“What? You know that stuff doesn’t affect me!” To stave off complaints about his self-service, he promptly handed the stewardess a $50 bill. “Keep the change,” he told her with a wink.
She smiled. “Oh, thank you, sir! Let me know if you need anything else.” She flirted back, then moved on.
Buffy gave him a soft punch in the ribs. “Seriously?”
“Ow! Let me open this for you,” he said soothingly, opening her champagne. “To our vacation! Cheers!” Buffy eventually gave in and took a sip.
“You still shouldn’t spend so much money if it’s not necessary,” she complained.
“Don’t worry, pet—I’m keeping an eye on expenses. The main thing is that we have a good time, right?” he purred, moving closer to her face.
Buffy smiled. “Hmm. All right,” she said, kissing him. It soon turned into a longer kiss, until the older lady beside her cleared her throat, causing Buffy to break away, embarrassed.
That didn’t last long, though. Several mini-bottles later, which were supposedly having no effect on him, she could barely keep Spike at a respectful distance. He was constantly kissing her neck, nibbling her ear, or tickling her thigh, making her body tingle. But they were in public! That poor old lady beside her must be uncomfortable. “Spike!” she whispered sharply. “Will you stop it!”
“Hmm…” was his only reply as he licked her earlobe.
“Oh, jeez!” she whispered back. “Stop it! What will people think?”
“I don’t care what people think.”
“Well, I do!”
He paused, studying the green “vacant” light on the lavatory door ahead. “Hey,” he whispered in her ear, “I’ll go to the restroom, wait two minutes, and then follow me.”
Buffy looked horrified. “What? No way!”
“Please!”
“No! People will hear us through the door!”
“We’ll be quiet.”
“We’re never quiet!”
“Pleeeease, pet! I’m horny!”
Buffy snorted. “Yeah, that’s probably because you’ve had a dozen whiskey shots!”
“No, it’s because we haven’t had se—” Buffy caughed to muffle the word , “—for four days now!”
“Well, I was busy preparing for my absence!”
“Well… you’re absent from Sunnydale now, aren’t you? So… stop being busy,” he flirted.
When she didn’t answer, he raised his eyebrows meaningfully and disappeared down the aisle.
“Oh no! Spike!” she whispered after him, but he was already gone. Frustrated, she sank back into her seat. She wasn’t about to follow him! Then she noticed the older woman staring at her.
“Are you two on your honeymoon?” the lady asked with a smile.
Buffy coughed. “If we are…?” What should she say? If she said yes, maybe it’d make the lady feel more comfortable around them. “Er… yes! We actually are. We married four days ago,” she lied, making the old lady beam.
“Oh, how wonderful! Matthew, did you hear?”
Her son leaned over. “Yes, mom. Well, congratulations,” he offered.
“Matthew is my son! We’re visiting my granddaughter in Tokyo; she studies there! Young people these days make the world seem so small.” She began chatting happily, while Buffy smiled politely, glancing down the aisle to check on Spike, who was still in the restroom.
“I’m Dorothy, by the way.”
“Oh. I’m Buffy, and he’s Spi—er, William,” Buffy stammered.
Dorothy grinned. “Oh, don’t be shy, dear. I had a playful nickname for my husband once, too.”
“Oh, mom!” Matthew groaned. “I’m sure the young lady doesn’t need to hear about dad’s old nicknames.”
Dorothy rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so stiff, Matthew! Anyway, is Tokyo your honeymoon destination?”
Buffy glanced down the aisle again. The restroom light was red—occupied. “Uh, no, Tokyo is just our first stop. We’re doing a bit of a world tour,” she explained.
“No, really? Did you hear that, Matthew?”
“Yes, mom,” he sighed.
Dorothy continued chatting excitedly, and Buffy responded politely, all the while glancing toward the restroom. A man was now waiting in line. “Excuse me, Dorothy, I’d better check on my… er, husband. He sometimes gets nauseous on flights,” she said, escaping into the aisle.
When she approached the waiting man, she gave him an apologetic smile. “Excuse me, sir, but you might prefer the restroom at the other end of the plane?” she suggested, squeezing past him. He looked at her, perplexed. “Yeah… my boyfriend gets sick on flights. It might take him a while…” she added, then knocked on the door. “Honey? You okay in there?” She smiled awkwardly at the man, who snorted and walked away.
The door suddenly opened, and she was pulled inside. Spike pressed her against the tiny sink, kissing her fervently.
“Hmm, I never agreed to this!” she protested, but he was already pulling up her skirt. “Ooooh, that’s not fair,” she murmured as he kissed her again. “Never said I was fair,” he grinned.
***
A new line formed in front of the plane's toilet, with a woman and her child alongside a teenage boy in earplugs. Muffled moans and thuds from inside made the woman’s eyes widen in shock. She quickly grabbed her ten-year-old daughter and hurried away. The boy, oblivious due to his loud music, simply felt lucky to move up in line. Five minutes later, the door opened, and a ruffled Buffy emerged, followed by Spike. The boy took out his earplugs, stunned.
“Oh… sorry… well, he gets nauseous on flights; I had to check on him.” Buffy still tried to use this excuse, but it was kind of useless when the boy looked at Spike, who didn’t look nauseous at all but was actually showing a big satisfied grin on his face! This made the teenager’s jaw drop, and then turn into an impressed smile when he understood! Spike, the show-off, of course, couldn’t suppress a macho wobble with his eyebrows, making the boy laugh out loud!
Buffy just moaned in annoyance and pulled her lover along with a jerk. “Can’t you at least try to play along?” she whispered to him harshly.
He laughed. “Sorry, love!”
When they were back at their seats, Dorothy welcomed her again with a smile. “Is everything all right with you… William, right?”
Spike looked over to her, a little surprised. “Oh… ah… yeah! Feeling better now… er…”
“I’m Dorothy; your wife and I had a little chat while you were gone.”
He glanced at Buffy, confused, silently forming the word "wife" with his lips.
She rolled her eyes at him and then gave him a look that said, "just play along now!"
What he did kind of amused Buffy. “Oh! Sure! Well, she is quite a little tattle-tale, my lovely wife, isn’t she?” he said, laying his arm around her shoulders.
The old lady chuckled. “You are British, aren’t you?”
“Yes!”
“Oh, I’m so curious. So how did you two meet? Was it on a holiday?”
“Oh no! I actually lived in the USA for a couple of years,” he answered kindly, earning an approving smile from Buffy.
“Ah! So did you come here for a job?” Dorothy asked.
“Er… yes! Yes, I did! Very stressful job, actually; it almost got me killed!” He improvised, making Buffy look at him with wide eyes. She knew, of course, which "job" he was referring to—the job of killing the Slayer Nikki Wood in the 70s!
“Oh, say no more; my son has so much stress in his job as well! Don’t you, Matthew?” Dorothy said, and Matthew answered with disinterest, “Uh huh!”
In the meantime, the stewardess came along again, asking, “Do you have another wish? Something to drink or eat?”
Spike beamed at her happily. “Oh yes! I’ll have another round of… ooof!” Buffy rammed her elbow into his ribs before he could finish, saying, “No, thank you!” and the stewardess moved on.
When he gave Buffy a disappointed look, she hissed, “That stuff gave you enough stupid ideas for one flight!”
Then he smiled, saying, “All right, all right. I’ll be good!” and pulled her closer into his embrace. She cuddled into him, laying her head on his shoulder, and after a while, they both fell asleep.
***
“Buffy, dear! Wake up, we’re landing soon.” Someone shook her arm. She blinked to find it was the old lady next to her.
“Oh, huh? We’re landing? Spike!” She shook him awake.
“Hmm?” he mumbled.
“We’re landing! We need to put our seatbelts on.”
“Oh.” He yawned. “Really? Already?” As the plane landed and passengers began moving, Spike got up first, retrieving their bags from the overhead compartment.
The old lady whispered to Buffy, “I wish you a lovely honeymoon, dear. If he gets too hotheaded, try to take a step back and give it some time. Marriage is about tolerance and patience. I’m sure you’ll make it!”
Buffy smiled uncertainly. “Oh, yes. Thank you.”
They all stood up, and Spike handed Matthew his and his mother’s bags.
“Ah, thanks, man!” Matthew replied.
“Goodbye! Have a good time!” Dorothy called as they left.
Spike and Buffy walked in silence toward the baggage claim. After a while, Buffy asked, a little tense, “You heard what she said, didn’t you?”
“Yeah!” Spike snorted.
“She’s just a stranger; she doesn’t know us!”
He focused on the moving luggage. “Is it true? Am I too ‘hotheaded’ for you?”
“Oh, of course not!”
“But you talked to her about it, didn’t you?” he said, sounding offended.
“What? No! She just assumed because you were annoying me a little.”
He frowned, glancing away. Buffy regretted using the word annoying. “No, I didn’t mean it like that! I meant… it’s okay, Spike. I’m fine with who you are. I know what I signed up for!”
“You signed up for a man who annoys you?” he accused, raising his voice.
Frustrated, she sighed. “No! Look at me!” She took his face in her hands. “Yes, you annoy me sometimes, but you also reach me in ways no one else ever has, and that’s why I fell in love with you!”
His frown shifted to a stubborn smile. “Hm… well, if you say it like that…”
Buffy laughed and kissed him. “So we’re okay again?”
“Uh-huh.” He suddenly shouted, “Oh! Our suitcases!” and ran after them.
Buffy smiled as he grabbed her light blue suitcase and his black one with the Sex Pistols sticker. They made their way to the airport exit.
“You know, if I’d known you were into marriage, I would’ve booked us a flight to Vegas!” he joked.
“Oh, shut up!” she complained, giving him a playful slap on the shoulder.
“Yeah, why not! I always wanted to get married by Elvis! U-huh-huh!“ He did an Elvis imitation, making Buffy laugh again.
Then she grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pulling him close to her. “I said, shut up, or I’ll have to make you!“ She threatened and when he still tried to say something she kissed him immediately, with a long, passionate kiss!
When they broke apart again he panted. “Ok, now I‘m horny again!“ He said with a wicked smile.
“Aaaah! Ha ha! Let's please just go and find our hotel first, ok?“ she laughed.
“Yeah! We really should. I‘m not so much a bloke for a quickie anyway!“
“I know!“ Buffy said with a meaningful grin and they left the airport.