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“Do you want to go out with me?”
Jon’s question fell on him like a rock.
“Like… on a mission?”
“No.” Jon shook his head. His posture, attitude and tone were still light and casual. His head slightly tilted to the side, showing that he was open and relaxed. Not an invitation nor indication of attack.
“Oh. Oh! Oh…” His cheeks reddened. “Like.. going out as in…?” He pointed between the two of them.
“Mhm.” Jon nodded with a smile, copying his motion when Damian seemingly froze from shock.
“Can I get back to you later? On that?” Damian scrambled with the papers in front of him, pretending to be busy. His mind raced too fast for him to care about regulating his heart rate.
Jon, for his part, took Damian’s panic in stride. He only nodded with his usual smile, turning to his own side of the table, tapping away on their shared computer.
Patience doesn’t always come to Jon but Damian knows Jon can be patient with people when it matters - a trait Damian is indefinitely grateful for. Either way, Damian wasn’t going to be able to handle this alone. Damian needed back up.
“What does going out with someone entails?”
Damian spent an entire week running around asking people he knew and even strangers he happened to either be working with or ran into a question he believed was justified and fairly straightforward.
Apparently he was wrong.
Each person gave a different answer. Some were more useful than the others. Some weren’t even answers.
“Going out. Dinner, movies, hiking, etc. Making out. I don't sleep with them unless we are exclusive.”
“Someone you've been seeing but is not necessarily your significant other yet.”
“Searching for connections, similarities and wanting to get to know the person.”
“What? Did someone pick up your sorry ass?”
“Hanging out one-on-one together in planned scenarios.”
“Being in a casual relationship. Boyfriend, girlfriend.”
“Exclusively seeing only one person.”
“Fucking them and hanging out — not exclusively.”
“Dating is spending time with someone you’re romantically interested in with the purpose of getting to know them.”
“Why are you asking me?”
Damian compiled the answers he had gotten from random people in Gotham and the internet with great confusion. So was it serious or was it not? Was it exclusive to one person or was it not? What is making out? What is fucking?? What’s the difference between going out with someone and just inviting them to ‘hang out’???
At the very least, Damian was able to conclude it was something that takes place before being in a committed relationship.
But he thought going out or dating someone already made you both boyfriends and girlfriends? That it was serious? Do people not know each other before they date? Why would Jon need to ‘get to know’ him if they’ve known each other for, what Damian considered, a long enough time?
“I think you are making this more complicated than it is.” Grayson pulled his stacks of papers from his desk, a raised eyebrow pointing his way as he went through what he had complied. “Do you seriously not know or is this just a nervous tic of some sort?”
“I didn’t care about this sort of thing growing up.” Damian yanked them back, clicking his tongue. Now he had to sort through them again. Should have asked Drake instead, at least that guy is married. “Only had one thing on my mind as a kid and I did it well.”
Dick grew silent for a moment. “Say, why don’t you just ask Jon himself what he meant?”
Damian gave him a look. “He’s a normal person." Unlike Damian who grew up with his aunt trying to kill his grandfather; Jon grew up as normal as a non-powered Kryptonian could, before his powers came to be and the passing of his parents anyway," He probably just feels the same as one of these people. If I look hard enough, one of these will help me figure out what he wanted to say.”
“Ooooookay.” Grayson slid his papers away from him. “Let’s recap. Everyone knows you both like each other. Jon probably knows you’re interested in him, that’s why he asked you out. But you’re very serious about this. As in, you want to actually be in a relationship rather than just casually hanging out regularly and getting to know him, yes?”
“Y— YEs.” He mentally cursed himself the way his voice cracked. “We already know each other.”
“Well, yes, but not in that context. The romantic kind.”
“But wouldn’t it just lead up to living together? Like Tim and Babara? And we already lived together!”
“Damian, there are more things people in a relationship do than just hang out and live together. Sometimes you can be roommates but not lovers, friends but nothing more.” He settled down beside him. “Jon is a careful kid. He’s afraid of opening his own eyes in fear that his powers would hurt others. I bet he’s afraid you’d get hurt if you both got in something too serious too fast. I bet he knows you know nothing about being in one in the first place.”
“Well— Yeah but—”
“And do you know what's most important in a relationship?” Damian stared. “Communication. Talking to your loved one. Ask Barbara, she’d back me up.” Dick's tone got serious for a moment before he shook it off and patted his back, “Stop running around the bushes and ask him straight out. Believe me, it’d help a lot in the long run."
Damian sat in silence, drinking in his words long after Dick was already gone.
“What do you mean by… going out?” Damian asked point blank one afternoon as they sat beside one another in their sitting room, their barely finished lunch sat in between them. “Stupid question, I know. It just—”
“No, no.” Jon shook his head, his smile as inviting as ever. “Good question.." Damian watched as Jon fiddled with his fingers, his already closed eyes squished ever closer together. "I like you." Damian blushed beat red, "I'm sure you know that."
Damian clicked his tongue but stumbled over himself and almost bit it instead. "I'd assume so."
"I'd… like for us to be… together. Officially. As in a relationship---"
"Like Drake and Barbara."
Jon snorted loudly, his hand flying to cover his mouth in case his frost breath came out. Damian's hand curled into a victorious fist bump.
"We're nowhere near their level! But… it'd be nice." Jon took a breath to still himself. "But I know you don't have experience in this field. And I still have many of my own issues I need to deal with." He gestured vaguely to his entire self. Damian polite disagrees. "So I wanted to… start slow."
"And…" Damian inched ever closer, "What does it mean to start slow..?"
Jon turned to his pleading eyes. How pathetic he must look now. Though the other didn't seem to mind. He never seemed to mind any of Damian's awkwardness. Instead, he reached out for his hand, taking it into his own.
"To me… it means doing what we usually do. Just… in a different context."
Jon's cheeks were red now. Damian stared in open wonder. His fingers curled around Jon's, pulling his hand to his chest. "Like… going on missions but…"
"But as a couple. Not a duo."
Damian could feel his chest feeling fluttery. Where their hands held, they gripped tighter. He could even feel a smile trying to push itself out, feel his body filled with energy, with an urge to jump or dance or run or all of them at once.
"I… want to do… something other than what we usually do too." He remembered something he had always used to do while working under his grandfather, having to act like a proper and polite heir. Something that he never thought he'd ask to do to someone all those years later.
"What do you want to do?" Jon pulled his seat closer, bumping their knees together.
"I want to kiss you." Jon let out a hum of approval. "Kiss your hands and your feet."
Jon paused. "My feet?" Despite his hesitation, he raised it for Damian to hold.
Damian knelt one knee on the floor, his hands taking Jon's feet in hand. "I used to kiss grandfather's feet to show my respect for him. To worship him. It was supposed to be degrading but… I wouldn't mind worshipping you."
Confusion turned to amusement as Jon chuckled. He nodded. Damian leaned down and gave it a kiss. He trailed his lips up Jon's clothed leg, reaching his knee in time, catching Jon's breath for a moment.
"I want to kiss your hand." He looked up from below. Jon was blushing now, Damian didn't fully comprehend why but he decided he likes looking at Jon all flustered.
"My hand." He offered it readily.
Damian stood up from where he knelt, the blush on Jon's cheeks only seemed to heighten. He took Jon's hand in hand, bowing slightly to his subject. "I often greet grandfather's guests. I greet women with a kiss of a hand. You can tell what kind of life they've lived based on it." He pressed a kiss on the back of Jon's fingers. Then another on his knuckles then another on the back of his hand. "But despite yours, your hand is a mystery. Remaining soft and undamaged through everything." He kissed the palm of Jon's hand, watching the way Jon's breath hitched from between his fingers. "I've always wondered what they feel like."
Jon's palm curled around his cheek, caressing it gently. A smile returned to him when Damian leaned on it, pressing another kiss to where he could reach. "I also like your hands."
"Oh please." Damian reached up, covering Jon's hand with his own. "It's full of scars," Jon hummed low, Damian's words stuck in his throat for a second, "It's all rough with callouses all over." Jon hummed it again, accompanied with a smile. Damian's heart rammed against his chest. He didn't care to regulate it, not with how pleased Jon looked, knowing he had an effect on Damian. "You like it."
"I like you."
He groaned half heartedly, hiding his face behind Jon's palm. "I… like you too."
Jon pulled him close, as gentle as ever. "I like to kiss your lips." Damian turned to face him once more. "I'm not great with words. I just have always wondered how they feel."
Damian gulped. He had seen people kiss on the lips before. Seen the quick greeting kiss, the lingering chaste kiss, the long pressing kiss, the passionate moan kiss, the pushing hungry kiss. He wanted to kiss him as well. Wanted to know how it'll feel like with him. Wanted to know which one it would be.
"Kiss me."
Jon leaned in for a moment before pulling back. "Let me check sinuses, I'll be right back!"
"Ah wai--" Jon dashed away in a flash. Damian groaned.
His hands flew to his own cheeks, wanting to rub the heat off it yet he hesitated. Jon's hand was on it. He could almost still feel it there. He dropped his hands, shooting Grayson a text.
"You asked him about it?"
Damian had grown accustomed to Jon's sudden appearances after a year of living with him. He just nodded. "He told me to stop running around the bush trying to figure out what you meant. And just to ask."
"Oh, you're so cute." Jon buried his face in Damian's hair. He froze. The scar on his head, where his hair won't grow, where he tried desperately to hide with it, stung even when it had healed long ago. A forever ugly reminder that it was there, running from the back of his head down all the way to the front of his cheek. Jon pressed a kiss on it. He knew it was there.
"You have a knack for finding my scars."
"Does it bother you?"
"Do they bother you?"
"No. They're a part of you. I like you."
Damian's heart was truly going to fly out. "Then it doesn't. Bother me. Th-- That is."
Jon just smiled. "I want to hug you."
"Hug me."
He pulled him gently to his chest, letting Damian lean his back onto him. His hands trailing down from his shoulders to his chest before wrapped around his waist. Damian leaned up to look at him. Their hearts rammed against their chests. They were so close.
"Kiss me now?"
Jon chuckled. He leaned in and their lips met. Damian leaned into it, happy to have it. For what felt like centuries when they danced around each other, they finally have it. Each other.
"Kiss me more."
Damian leaned upwards more, his lips parted a moment, tilting his head so his nose would get out of the way. Jon pressee in closer, parting his own lips. They kissed and they kissed for what must have been many long minutes yet when they parted, it still felt too short.
"You have kissed someone before."
"I have." Jon admitted. "You haven't." Damian nodded at his statement. "You followed my lead well enough."
"What did it feel like?" Damian turned away for a moment. Jon hummed a questioning tone. "You said you've always wondered what it feels like. So what does it feel like…?"
Jon smiled, leaning his head on Damian's shoulder, his body left floating behind them. "Tickle, a little with a bit of stubble you have. Different from kissing a girl. But also different from kissing other guys. Your lips are soft, you take care of them well, better than other boys. But not the softness of a girl's lips." Damian felt slightly proud of that. "In a less matter of fact way," Jon turned to him with a smile, "It felt right."
Damian felt a smile creeping up. He let it bloom. "It felt right to me too."
Dick's words echoed in his mind as he turned around to kiss him again.
"There are more things people in a relationship do than just hang out and live together."
Damian might not know fully what they are. But for what it's worth, he could barely wait to find out.