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“T-twenty…five!” Ken screamed as white hot pain seared across his back. He blinked hard but saw nothing but darkness and felt nothing holding him down except for the impending fear of falling from being suspended upside down. Ken wanted to try something new, he had always wanted to push what his body and mind could take. As an inexperienced sub, he had the guidance of Stell, stunning and excellent dom who has years of experience in the BDSM scene.
To be fair, Ken was first hesitant to dabble in the world of whips and chains, but the entire scene and community piqued his interest when he accidentally stumbled upon Stell’s collection of whips and chains.
“Um…I didn’t know you were into…torture?” Ken mused and gently touched the black tassels of a cat o’ nine tail whip. He could only imagine the excruciating pain this would inflict on some poor bounded individual.
“It’s not torture, Ken.” Stell said with a worried voice and quickly shoved his collection back to his closet and locked it. “It’s i BDSM, and it’s far from torture and it’s definitely not like what you see in Fifity Shades of Grey.”
“Never wanted to see that movie anyway.”
“Then good, because the representation of impact play and BDSM is horrendous! It painted the BDSM community in a bad light.”
Ken didn’t know why Stell was being so defensive of the topic, sure his boyfriend was an enthusiast and part of the niche community but he just couldn’t wrap his head around the idea.
“But isn’t it exactly what is it in the movie? Whips..chains…pain? Technically torture, but in a sexy way?”
“No, no, and no. Never refer to BDSM as torture! Never even speak those two words in the same sentence. BDSM is built on trust and consent, on boundaries and respect. It’s not just a dominant whipping their submissive to a pulp.”
“People…consent to things like these?” Ken looked at his boyfriend with a look of utter disbelief. “Why?”
Stell smirked, he loved his boyfriend’s innocence. He sat next to him on the couch and pulled the smaller man onto his lap. “Well, it’s their kink! I don’t question you when you ask to be fucked against an open window or you don’t question me when I fucked you in your Palayo clothes. Speaking of which…” His hands traveled inside Ken’s lose hoodie and gently thumbed over his nipples.
“R-red o-one or…” Ken whimpered and looked at his boyfriend who donned that tantalizingly hot yet teasing smirk. “D-don’t look at me like that.” He whined and averted his gaze. No matter how long they’ve been together, Ken can’t seem to hold more than five seconds of eye contact with Stell. Ken just melts like butter by just looking at Stell’s captivating eyes. A part of him just automatically submits. He doesn’t know why and how Stell has such a hold on him. Ken never really defined himself as submissive in bed, nor a submissive person in general but with Stell.
He’d gladly be on his knees.
“The cropped jacket.” Stell rumbled and peppered hot kisses on Ken’s rich tanned skin. “Plus the choker that I gave you.” It pained Stell to let his boyfriend go but Ken needs to prep up and look pretty to him.
That’s how Ken was sucked in the wonderful kink-filled world of BDSM. It started with the basics such as establishing kinks; their hard and soft limits, contract signing, learning about the stoplight method, aftercare, subdrops, and dom drops. Stell was surprised with how much of a fast learner Ken was, usually it would take quite a lot of effort to even gain a person’s submission, but Ken just willingly gave it.
Then again, Ken has always been submissive. Though Ken would argue with that, there's no denying that he’d only kneel for him. Stell can’t help but feel giddy every time his mind panders to that idea. As a dominant, Stell took great pride with Ken submitting to him with full consent, he could see it in his eyes, and he treasured that submission.
“You did so well today, Ken.” The dominant gently lowered the sub back to the bed and untied the red rope which dug onto his skin. He also took off the blindfold and welcomed Ken back to the world of light and vision. “Let’s get you all cleaned up, does that sound good?”
The small trip from the bed to the bathtub was quick but Ken drifted in and out of consciousness. He could see his dom’s face but not quite focus on what was happening. All he could focus was on one spot while all he could hear was a deafening ringing on his ears. Suddenly, it all crashed down. An onslaught of overwhelming emotions to which he couldn't decipher. Reality and the distorted images on his mind, coupled with the lingering pain of the whips and clogs all made his head spin.
“Ken..Ken…Ken!”
Stell halted cleaning the sub’s wounds and immediately gathered the quivering younger man into his arms and wiped the tears away from his cheeks. “There we go..deep breaths. You know the drill.” He coaxed his boyfriend and helped him perform his calming techniques. He’d always use the classic breathing techniques when he’s overwhelmed, usually before or after big performances among other things. “That’s great, you’re doing great, Ken…Now, please can you tell me what day is it today and where are you right now.”
The haze of Ken’s mind cleared up like a summer day upon feeling the warm and gentle stroke of his boyfriend’s finger against his cheeks. His eyes panned across the room and took a while to respond. “I think…today’s a Wednesday? A-and I’m in the bathroom…the bathtub.”
“Good boy.” Now that Ken's consciousness was intact, Stell could take a sigh of relief. “I thought I lost you there for a second. You were spacing out.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No..no need to be sorry…now, please brace yourself against the walls while I wash your back, okay? It’ll sting a bit but I need you to be brave for me, mmkay?”
Ken didn’t know why he was so tired, normally he could still go on and be chatty while Stell tended to his wounds but today was different. Why does he feel like crap? He had never felt these emotions after a scene.
“I…I don’t understand.”
“What couldn’t you understand, Ken?” Stell said and gently washed off the suds with water. He frowned and saw Ken flinch from the sting.
“I thought I could last longer like last time. I mean..I used to last at around thirty to thirty two but I only lasted twenty five.”
“Well, that was last time. Today is different. Alright, let’s get you back to bed. I need to treat your wounds.” He gave his sub a peck on the cheek.
“I know but…If I use the safeword, then the fun will be cut short.”
That made Stell stop what he was doing. “What?” This has to be one of the most heartbreaking things he heard all day. “What are you talking about? It’s no longer “fun” if you’re just doing it for the sake of endurance, Ken…You…you have to use your safewords!”
“I am..it’s just I don’t think I’m at that point to use them yet.”
“Ken, you don’t have to be at your very limit just to safeword.” As a dom, it pained Stell to discover that his sub wouldn’t safeword. Unintentionally harming his sub and his boyfriend was the worst thing he could do.
“I know…I just don’t understand. We’ve been doing this for over a year now and this is the first time something like this happened..and…I just don’t want to disappoint you because that’s the worst thing I could ever do to you!”
Ken shriveled under his boyfriend’s stare. He knew this would end badly. He shouldn’t have spoken up. He just felt more of a disappointment than he already was. Now he made his dom angry and upset. He was expecting punishment, surely, he deserved it.
However, all Ken received was the sensation of arms hooked on his hips and a firm chest against his own. “You’re not going to punish me?”
“For what? Being human? For having limits and feelings?” Stell kissed his beloved’s cheek. “I told you, I honor your safeword. As a dom, it makes me feel honored that you trust me enough to tell me you’re at your limit. A shit dom like Christian Grey would just beat his sub to a bloody pulp, that’s not kink. That’s abuse. Anyway..please answer truthfully, was there anything I did- the scene, the negotiations, the toys used, that made you feel this way?”
“No..I…I don’t know. I guess I’m just stressed. I hoped I could release all of that pent-up stress but I guess I overestimated myself.”
“You’re stressed from shooting Bulan, aren't you?”
“Bulan, Superior Son, that wish bus performance, our comeback…and just everything. It all just piled up and it’s overwhelming, and I don’t like that. It’s like I’m being crushed by some unseen force and my airways just close up, I can’t breathe and it’s just…too much..”
“Is this why you particularly asked for a heavy scene?”
“Yeah…exactly that. I didn’t know it would be this heavy.. I’m sorry. I should have known better.”
“You have nothing to apologize for. May this serve as a learning curve to you, okay? Remember that I will never be upset with safewording. Now, is there anything you want to do? Anything to ease that cute little head of yours from all that anxiety?”
Ken thought for a second and shook his head. “Hm..maybe a cold compress and a nap? Would that be alright?
“Fair enough, but I’ll still continue my aftercare after your nap. You won’t leave this bedroom until you’re fully taken care of. No buts. Aftercare is a must.”
“‘M not gonna complain about that.” Ken said in a slur and yawned.
“Go get some rest, love. I’ll be right here when you wake.”