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Being a trio of best friends was easy. Waking up to a million group texts, long nights out at clubs, and weekly lunches were things that Bob knew how to do. Being a trio of girlfriends, though? That’s a little different, less familiar.
Bob knows Kim and Naomi better than she knows the back of her own hand. Bob knows exactly what it means when Naomi quirks her brow a certain way or the corners of Kim’s lips twitch upwards. She knows how to turn one of their bad days into a good day, and she knows how to turn one of their good days into a great day. She knows that Naomi likes blueberries in her pancakes and that Kim keeps boiled eggs in the fridge for busy mornings. She knows that Naomi loves lavender-scented soap and Kim’s favorite candles smell like caramelized sugar.
Years of friendship, and then almost two years of living together, have taught her more about her girlfriends than what should be socially acceptable. She loves every little thing about them, she loves them with every inch of her body and her heart and her mind. Bob can’t imagine being with anyone else; these two are her whole world.
But sometimes she worries. She sees the way they look at each other, she sees how they naturally fit together, and she sees their silent conversations. It’s clear to Bob that they love each other in a different way than they love her, and Bob understands that because she loves each of them in different ways too. Except that doesn’t seem to matter because her mind still runs wild with the possibility that her place in their relationship isn’t as strong as theirs.
Bob has never considered herself a jealous person. She believes love is to be given freely and openly, regardless of societal boxes. So, why do these thoughts plague her?
With their one-year anniversary right around the corner and no word from either of her girls on plans for it, it’s easy to let her mind drift there. Bob doesn’t mean for it to happen, but she doesn’t have control of it either. More often than not, Bob finds herself laying in bed alone at 1 a.m. wondering if one has left her bed to go cuddle with the other.
Bob wonders if they miss her when she works overtime, or if they miss her when she goes on back-to-back business trips for weeks on end. She wants nothing more than for them to miss her the same way she misses them when she’s gone. They always send texts or video call, and they always celebrate as soon as she comes home but she just can’t help worrying.
Tonight, Bob is on the front porch looking up to the moon and stars as if they could soothe all her troubles away. She watches the way the universe above her twinkles, it reminds her that, in the grand scheme of things, her troubles are easily solvable. It makes her feel not alone and totally isolated simultaneously. It’s a strange feeling, one that she appreciates as a distraction.
The front door creaks open, and Bob whips her head around to see Naomi coming out onto the porch with two glasses of cold lemonade. She’s wearing her pink silk robe, a gift that Bob had gotten her for Christmas a couple of years ago. It flatters her perfectly.
Naomi hands Bob one of the glasses and she accepts it with a grateful smile. It was as if Naomi had read her mind. They lean on the wood railing, elbows touching as they sip on their cold drinks in the hot summer night.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Bob asks her. It’s pretty unusual for Naomi to be up after 1 a.m., and Bob hopes she didn’t somehow wake her girlfriend up.
Naomi shrugs, “I guess. There’s just… a lot on my mind tonight.”
“Yeah,” Bob sighs, looking back up at the night sky, “Me too.”
Naomi chuckles, “It’s kinda surreal, isn’t it?”
Bob tilts her head, “What is?”
Naomi hums thoughtfully and takes a sip of her drink, “I don’t know, us? We get to live in this house together, and we’re all in love with each other, and… I just never thought I could have something like this.”
Bob glances at her, she’s staring at the moon and there are tears glistening in her honey-colored eyes, and Bob’s breath catches in her throat. Naomi is beautiful, but listening to her talk about how much she loves their life makes her feel so grounded .
“Really?” Bob whispers, a ploy to get her girlfriend to continue.
Naomi looks at her, a soft smile on her lips, “Yeah, really. I feel like I’m living in a fantasy. I never imagined I could have two amazing girlfriends, and a home with them. Like, if I told that to my younger self she would never believe me.”
Bob laughs, and she feels Naomi’s love as surely as she feels the sun, “It is kinda insane, right?”
“Right,” Naomi says with a grin, “But it’s everything to me. You two are…”
She trails off and her gaze grows distant, but Bob nudges her shoulder against Naomi’s.
“I love you, too,” Bob says, not giving her the chance to let her mind drift too far.
Naomi blinks a couple of times, then leans over to kiss Bob on the cheek and Bob melts into her touch. It lasts for all of two seconds, but it makes her feel like a goddess.
“I’m not going to think about it, because I really don’t want to,” Naomi starts tiredly, “But I really don’t know where I would be without you. You… Bob, you changed my life.”
Bob straightens up, taken by surprise, “Naomi-”
“No,” Naomi shakes her head, cutting Bob off, “I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. Just know that… I really do love you.”
Bob takes her hand and squeezes it tightly, looking into Naomi’s glassy eyes, “It’s okay, I get it.”
“Thanks,” Naomi murmurs, resting her head on Bob’s shoulder.
Bob wraps an arm around her shoulders and holds her close, “Thanks for coming out here with me, by the way.”
“Of course. I always miss you when you’re away, I have to make up for lost time when you’re actually here,” Naomi says teasingly.
Bob grins, “Yeah, yeah, I’ve missed you too.”
“It’s just not the same when you’re gone,” Naomi admits quietly, “Things are just better when it’s all three of us. I feel more… whole.”
Bob inhales deeply and lets the words reverberate through her soul, “I really needed to hear that.”
“I figured as much,” Naomi says, snuggling closer to Bob.
“What? Really?” Bob asks pulling away from Naomi to look at her.
Naomi smiles, “Sometimes I think I know you better than you know yourself. You’ve just been acting strange since you got back.”
Bob furrows her brows, “Strange… how?”
“Mmm, distant I guess. You’ve been giving Kim and I weird looks, too.”
“Oh,” Bob says, “I didn’t realize that y’all noticed that.”
Naomi rolls her eyes fondly, “We notice everything.”
Bob pulls Naomi back into her embrace, “I’ll keep that in mind.”
They stay on the porch until well after their glasses are empty, just holding each other and enjoying the quietness of the night. Being with her girlfriend reminds Bob how truly loved and understood she is in this home with these people. Naomi is right—it’s surreal.
Naomi finally stands up and stretches, then holds out her hand for Bob to take, “C’mon let’s go to sleep.”
Bob takes it and lets Naomi lead her inside, barely remembering to grab their glasses on the way in. After putting their cups in the dishwasher, Naomi starts heading toward her room, but Bob stops her and gestures to Kim’s bedroom door.
“Hey, I have an even better idea,” Bob says with a smirk.
Naomi laughs, “Oh, she’s gonna kill us.”
“She’s had it too easy recently,” Bob jokes, opening the door quietly.
She expects Kim to be curled up in her bed under five blankets, sound asleep and snoring. Instead, Kim is leaning against her headboard, eyes wide open and staring up at the ceiling. She looks at Bob and Naomi with surprise and leans over to turn on the lamp that’s on her bedside table, then she blinks at them a couple of times once the light is on.
“Is everything okay?” Kim asks worriedly.
Naomi slips past Bob and walks right over to Kim, sitting on the edge of the bed right next to her, “Everything is fine, why are you up?”
Kim snorts, “I should be asking you that question.”
Bob grins and sits down on the other side of the bed. She cups her hand around Kim’s jaw so she can look her in her eyes, “Seems like the three of us are more in-synch than we thought.”
Kim’s expression softens as she leans into Bob’s touch, “You two couldn’t sleep either?”
Naomi swings her legs over the bed and curls into Kim’s side, wrapping her arms around their girlfriend, “Maybe we’ll be able to sleep if we’re together.”
Bob does the same, getting under the covers and pulling Kim down into the bed with her, “I think that’s a brilliant idea.”
Kim laughs, but she settles into the bed with them. Naomi turns out the lamp on the nightstand, and Bob rests her head on Kim’s shoulder. Laying in bed with her girlfriends, Naomi’s hand in hers, everything feels so perfect. Bob’s earlier worries melt away when surrounded by their love. It’s all she’s ever wanted. These two perfect women are everything that she’s ever wanted.
She falls asleep like that, wrapped up in their safety and warmth. Bob forgets everything else because in this moment, all that matters is her girls. Tomorrow they can discuss what was keeping them all up, and for once that thought doesn’t completely overwhelm her. How could it when she has all she needs in her arms?