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“You’ve never been to the beach? Neither of you?”
Kevin glanced at Jean and shrugged. “Is that weird?”
“I mean—no, I guess?” said Jeremy, sounding very much like he thought it was, in fact, weird.
“Sorry,” said Jean lightly, “we must have missed beach day at the Nest.”
Jeremy grimaced. “Okay, yeah, I can see how you might not have had the chance to go then, but—Jean, you’ve been here in L.A. for a year! And Kevin, Palmetto State can’t be that far from the ocean, right?”
Kevin had no idea. “Um. Yes?”
“Okay, that’s it,” said Jeremy. “We’re going to the beach.”
Kevin wasn’t sure he’d like the beach very much—he’d never had much patience for sand when he’d come across it, swimming wasn’t an activity he particularly enjoyed, and his relationship with the sun was tenuous at best—but Jeremy sounded determined. Maybe if he just agreed, Jeremy would forget about it before they got around to actually planning anything. “Sure,” he said. “Maybe next spring, after the season is over—”
“No,” Jeremy interrupted. “Let’s go now.”
“What? Now?”
“Why not?” asked Jeremy. “We’re like twenty minutes from one of the best beaches in the country. I’ve literally got beach supplies in my car. What’s holding us back?”
Kevin looked at Jean helplessly, but Jean was nodding. “Sure,” he said. He glanced at Kevin and shrugged. “Might as well get it over with.”
“You’re going to like it!” said Jeremy enthusiastically. “The sand, the waves, the cool ocean breeze—there’s nothing like it!”
“I really don’t think now is a good time,” said Kevin. “We’re—my trip isn’t that long. Don’t we have plans today?”
“Nope!” said Jeremy brightly. “Today’s flexible.”
“We do have plans, actually,” said Jean. For a moment, Kevin thought he was going to throw him a lifeline, but then he threw him under the bus. “We have plans to go to the beach!”
Kevin grimaced, and Jeremy reached out and touched his arm. “We don’t have to if you really don’t want to,” he said seriously. “I do think you’ll have fun, though—I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t think you’d like it.”
Kevin only hesitated a moment longer. He couldn’t say no to Jeremy—especially when he asked like that. “All right,” he said. “Let’s go to the beach!”
It took a little longer than the promised twenty minutes to get there—partially due to traffic, but also due to their stop at a tourist-trap of a store near the beach to get additional supplies. Jeremy had towels, sunscreen, and an umbrella already in his car, and they all had sunglasses, but he insisted they needed boogie boards, swim trunks—which they’d changed into in the store—hats, a snorkel, and flip flops. He’d countered Kevin’s insistence that flip flops were the least practical kind of shoe by telling him that, if he was concerned about how ability to walk in them, he could get strap-on sandals instead, which prompted Kevin to aggressively select the first pair of flip flops he saw. In hindsight, that had probably been Jeremy’s plan all along.
“Okay,” said Jeremy, “first thing, we’ll stake out a place for our umbrella, and we’ll apply sunscreen.”
“Shouldn’t the sunscreen come first?” asked Jean, looking apprehensively out the window of the car. It seemed like it was a little late for Jean to show apprehension, but Kevin kept that thought to himself.
“Sure, we can put it on here,” said Jeremy. “It might be better to do it before we get all sandy, anyway. And then we won’t have to wait as long before we get in the water!”
“We’re planning to get in the water?” asked Jean. “The ocean water? Where the sharks live?”
“Yep,” said Jeremy, grinning. “Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. Saying ‘the ocean where the sharks live’ is kind of like saying ‘the land where the bears live’—sure, it’s possible you run into one, but odds are, even if you do, you’ll leave each other alone.”
“I’m not sure that’s as reassuring as you meant for it to be,” said Jean.
“You’ll be okay,” said Jeremy. “I promise.”
Jean sighed dramatically. “And I can hold it against you forever if I’m not?”
Jeremy grinned. “Absolutely.”
Kevin and Jean exchanged a glance. They’d come this far, and they did trust Jeremy—more than anyone. “Okay,” said Kevin. “Proceed.”
“Cool,” said Jeremy. “So, do you want to do sunscreen now, by the car, or once we’re out on the beach? Or—maybe both? I’m not sure if you’ll feel like taking your shirts off, but if you do, you’ll want to get sunscreen on your chests and backs, too.”
Jeremy had kept his tone deliberately light and neutral, but Kevin didn’t miss the way his jaw tightened. Jean was comfortable showing his scars around Kevin and Jeremy, and he’d gotten to the point where he was okay changing out in the locker room in front of his teammates, but the scars would almost certainly draw stares in public. Kevin swallowed down a wave of guilt—for the scars he’d seen inflicted, for the scars inflicted because he’d left. They’d talked about it, and Jean didn’t hold any of it against him—not anymore—but he couldn’t help but feel a twinge of regret.
Jean, however, seemed relatively unbothered. “We will probably be more comfortable without the shirts, yes?”
Jeremy hesitated. “I don’t know,” he said. “Will you be more comfortable?”
“Yes,” said Jean. “I think I will be.”
Jeremy relaxed a little. “Great. Okay, let’s put sunscreen on our arms, legs, and faces now, and we can take off the shirts and get our chests and backs once we’re set up on the beach.”
“Sounds good to me!” said Jean, nodding.
“Let’s do it!” Kevin agreed gamely.
It didn’t take long to spray sunscreen on the body parts that were already exposed. Then they each took some supplies and carried them down into the sand.
Walking in sand was like nothing Kevin had ever done before. His feet kept slipping to the side, and every step took twice the effort of a step on solid ground. “This is—hard,” he said.
Jeremy laughed a little. “Yeah, sand makes a good workout! Here, we can take off our flip flops. That helps a little. Be careful, though, the sand will be hot!”
Kevin didn’t know why they’d needed to buy the flip flops if they were going to take them off so soon, but he was willing to try anything that would make it a little easier to walk. It was still challenging barefoot, but at least the sand was no longer rubbing between the shoe and his foot.
“How does this spot look?” asked Jeremy, indicating a relatively open area about thirty feet from the shore.
Kevin and Jean glanced at each other and shrugged. “You’re the expert,” said Kevin. “Looks fine to me.”
“This should be good,” said Jeremy. “All right, let’s get the umbrella up.”
Jean and Kevin helped set up the umbrella only in the loosest sense of the word—they mostly stood awkwardly nearby while Jeremy looked at the angle of the sun, screwed the pole into the sand, and adjusted the attachment.
“It’s not super big,” he said apologetically, “but I think we’ll all fit, especially a little later in the afternoon, when the shadows get wider.”
“Sure,” said Kevin, edging a little closer to the umbrella. “So, what are we supposed to do in the meantime, while the shadows aren’t wide?”
“We’ve got options!” said Jeremy. “We can walk along the beach and look for shells, or we can go out into the ocean, or we can sit out and get some sun, or we can just huddle a little closer so we all get as much shade as possible.”
None of the options sounded particularly good to Kevin—the walk out to the place they’d set up their umbrella had been bad enough; they had just discussed the dangers of the ocean; and if he were going to sit around somewhere, he’d rather do that somewhere indoors, with air conditioning.
But Jeremy was excited, and Kevin was at least going to make a good faith effort. That way, at the end of the day, when he told Jeremy he never wanted to go to a beach again, Jeremy would believe him, and he wouldn’t be able to claim Kevin hadn’t tried.
He looked out towards the waves. At least the water would be cool. “Let’s get out in the water,” he suggested.
“Awesome!” Jeremy said. “Let’s finish up with the sunscreen—we can take turns spraying each other—and then we should give it a few minutes, so we don’t just wash it all off right away in the waves.”
This seemed perfectly reasonable, and it delayed the part where he actually had to get into the ocean, so Kevin was all for it. However, before long, Jeremy was excitedly leading them out towards the waves.
“Come on!” he said, ocean water lapping at his ankles. “It’s a little chilly, but not too bad!”
Kevin and Jean were standing resolutely at the edge of the water line. Kevin felt ridiculous holding onto his boogie board; there was no way he was getting in deep enough to use it.
One of the waves came up further than the others had, and he stifled a yelp as the seawater washed over his feet.
Jeremy shot him a concerned look. “Are you okay?” he asked. He took a step closer and lowered his voice. “Is there—did something happen with water, where it’s some kind of trigger?”
“Nope,” Jean answered for him from a couple of feet further into the ocean. “That would be me.”
Kevin and Jeremy both froze and looked at him; Jeremy found his voice first. “Fuck. I didn’t know. If you want to get out of here, that’s totally fine.”
“I’m okay, I think,” said Jean. “As long as I can breathe.”
“What did he do?” Kevin asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Waterboarding,” said Jean shortly. “He wanted to know if it worked. It does.”
“We really don’t have to go any further,” said Jeremy. “If you want out, just say the word.”
“I really am okay, for now, at least,” said Jean. “You said it was fun, yes? Getting out far enough to ride the waves?”
“Well, yeah,” said Jeremy, “but I can’t guarantee the water won’t go over your head or hit you in the face at some point.”
“But you won’t let me drown,” said Jean. It wasn’t a question, but Jeremy nodded anyway. “Let’s do it. Let’s keep going. I will not let him take another fun thing away from me.”
It was a moving speech. And Kevin wasn’t about to be the one to chicken out following that. “All right. Keep going, then.”
The water was up to his knees, then his waist, and it really wasn’t that bad. It wasn’t bad at all, actually. It was warm and clear, and he didn’t see and seaweed or sharks. He kept watching where he stepped, making sure there weren’t any drop-offs or sharp things to step on, but it stayed sandy, smooth, and gradual. He wasn’t sure why he’d been so nervous. The ocean was just like a swimming pool—a giant swimming pool with a sandy bottom that kept shifting under his feet.
“Kev, watch the waves!”
Watch them do what? Kevin looked up just in time to get hit in the face by a giant wave. He turned back to Jeremy, sputtering.
“Sorry,” said Jeremy sheepishly, Jean laughing in the background. “I should’ve just told you to turn sideways. Or, uh, maybe hold your breath.”
“I’m fine,” said Kevin, trying not to grimace. “So, is this the fun part?”
“No,” said Jeremy quickly. “Come on, let’s try to get out further before the next wave— the goal is to be far enough out that the waves haven’t broken yet.”
“I do not think we will make it,” said Jean, eyeing an approaching wave.”
“Shit, okay, this is good practice,” said Jeremy. “Turn, brace yourself a little, probably close your eyes—”
Just then, the wave crested and hit. It still hadn’t been pleasant, but it was markedly better than the previous wave, so Kevin took it as a win.
Jean was blinking and brushing water off his face. “Let’s hurry up and get to the fun part.”
“Yeah, totally,” said Jeremy. He let his boogie board trail behind him, its string tied to his wrist, and took each of their hands, guiding them further out until the water was high on their chests. “I think this should be far enough. Here comes a wave—when it gets here, just jump a little. You can hold onto your board if you want.”
Kevin watched the wave approach and timed his jump. As the water level rose around him, his feet left the bottom, and for just a moment, he felt almost totally weightless. He laughed as he regained his footing and watched the wave crest a few yards closer to the shore, drenching a nearby couple floating on inner tubes. “That was awesome.”
Jeremy grinned. “Right? Jean, what did you think?”
“It was very fun,” said Jean. “And I am very glad I’m not them,” he added, gesturing towards the people on the tubes.
“Careful,” said Jeremy with a laugh. “With that kind of hubris, you’ll be next.”
Kevin glared at Jean, as if he potential consequences of his overconfidence were contagious. “Make sure that doesn’t happen?” he asked Jeremy.
“Don’t worry,” said Jeremy. “I’ve got you. Both of you.”
Kevin nodded, and he relaxed more of his weight into his boogie board. The movement of the water was oddly soothing, even with the potential to get a face full of ocean at any time. And the next wave was even easier to ride. It was a bit like exy, in a way—thinking about his balance and the way his weight shifted, practicing the timing of his jumps. The semi-weightlessness the water provided was disorienting at first, but, as he got used to it, he started to enjoy it. He made a mental note to consider adding swimming to his workout regimen.
After a while, though, the sun started to feel too hot and the water too wet, and Kevin noticed how much he missed being dry and on solid ground. “Can we be done?” he asked. “Or— can I be done? You don’t have to be.”
“I would also like to be done,” said Jean. “If I am going to be in seasoned water much longer, you might as well add some vegetables and turn me into a soup.”
Jeremy laughed. “Okay, let’s head in.”
Kevin eyed the waves, still breaking a few yards ahead of them. “How do we get out without getting hit?”
“It’s about timing, mainly,” said Jeremy. “If we go right after a wave, we’ll have as much time as possible. Then you just keep going, and stand up as soon as possible, and don’t look back.”
“Like Lot’s wife,” said Jean, nodding solemnly.
“Or like Orpheus,” Kevin countered.
“Lot’s probably a better fit,” said Jeremy. He gestured out towards the ocean. “The salt.”
“And because the ocean is full of sin and it will punish us if we look back,” said Jean.
Kevin snorted. “You should’ve just stuck with the salt thing.”
“You’re just mad that my comparison was better,” said Jean smugly.
“It absolutely was not.”
“As important and fascinating as this discussion is,” said Jeremy, “you can finish it on dry land. Let’s get moving.”
“Now?” asked Kevin, looking suspiciously at the water.
Jeremy paused for a moment as another wave passed through, breaking just past them. “Now.”
Kevin and Jean hurried after him, moving as quickly as they could through the water. “If we’re not looking, how do we know if we’re about to get hit by a wave?” Kevin asked.
“Um,” said Jeremy, glancing back, “you don’t?”
“This does not sound like a very good system,” said Jean.
“You’ll be fine,” said Jeremy. “See? The water’s already below our hips. So if a wave hits us—”
Whatever assurance Jeremy had been about to offer was cut off by a wave hitting their backs. Kevin took a stumbling step forward but kept his balance. And then they’d made it—they were past the danger zone, close to the shore where the waves were no longer tall enough to hit them in a way that mattered. “That was really fun,” he said. “We should do it again sometime.”
“Great!” said Jeremy. “Jean, did you enjoy it?”
Jean considered for a moment and then nodded. “It was much more fun than I expected it to be. I would definitely do it again.” He made a face. “But not right now. I am ready to be dry for a while.”
Jeremy nodded. “Let’s go lay down on our towels,” he said. “The shade from the umbrella should be able to cover all of us by now.”
“Shade sounds good,” Kevin agreed.
“Very much so,” said Jean.
“We also might want to reapply sunscreen,” said Jeremy. “I think we did pretty well, but your shoulders might be looking a little red.”
Kevin grimaced. “We should definitely reapply, then.” He swallowed a suggestion to just call it a day and go inside; Jeremy wanted to give them a beach day, and he was going to let him.
Half an hour later—sunscreen sprayed, towels laid out in a cluster within their small pocket of shade—Kevin sat up. “I’m bored.”
“You are supposed to be relaxing,” said Jean, eyes closed.
“I am relaxed,” said Kevin impatiently. “I’m just—shouldn’t I be doing something?”
“Yes, you are supposed to be laying quietly on the beach.”
Jeremy laughed and propped himself up on one arm. “I can see why you might be a little bored,” he said. “That’s why some people bring a book to read, or something like that.”
Kevin frowned. “Don’t they get sand in their books?”
Jeremy shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe? People don’t usually bring their best books or anything. They’ll usually pick up something light and casual that they don’t have to pay too much attention to.”
Kevin didn’t see how reading what sounded like an intentionally uninteresting book would help his boredom. “Okay well, we don’t have any beach reads, so what are my other options?”
“Ready to take a walk along the shore?” asked Jeremy. “We could look for shells.”
“Sure,” said Kevin, standing up.
“I will stay here,” said Jean, keeping his eyes closed but stretching out onto Kevin’s towel, too. “I am not struggling with the concept of relaxation.”
“That works!” said Jeremy. “We won’t go too far.”
“Have fun,” Jean mumbled into the towel. “Bring me back something pretty.”
Jeremy laughed. “We’ll do our best!” He turned to Kevin. “Shall we?”
Kevin nodded and followed Jeremy closer to the water. “Which way do you want to go?” he asked.
Jeremy considered. “Let’s go to the left. Looks like fewer people that direction.”
Kevin and started walking. The sand made his progress much slower than his usual pace, but he thought he was still keeping up a reasonable gait.
“Kev,” said Jeremy, catching up and touching his arm, “slow down. We’re not on a mission, we’re just casually strolling, looking for shells. You won’t find anything if you’re walking that fast.”
“Oh. Yeah, of course,” said Kevin, smiling gamely.
He was in hell. He should’ve just stayed under the umbrella. There, at least, he had shade. And not moving at all was preferable to barely moving. He didn’t think he could walk any slower. Yet, somehow, he was still getting ahead of Jeremy. How was that even possible? Some people were built for causal strolls. Jeremy was apparently, built for casual strolls. Kevin was not. This was painful. This was—
A flash of color caught his eye; he bent down and picked it up. “I found one!”
Jeremy took a step closer to look at it. “Very nice! It’s rare to find one that size that’s totally intact. And the colors are perfect—kind of a muted red and gold!”
“Do you think this can be the ‘something pretty’ we bring back for Jean?”
“Maybe!” said Jeremy. “Let’s see what else we find!”
With more of a purpose, Kevin found himself enjoying the stroll more. It was still hot and slow and hard to walk, but he was also gathering a collection of shells that he was oddly proud of. By the time they went back to the umbrella, Kevin and Jeremy each had a nice assortment of seashells cradled carefully in their hands.
Jean sat up and looked the shells over a they laid them out on one of the towels for his inspection. “Very pretty,” Jean declared. “You have both passed.”
Kevin snorted. “What would’ve happened if we didn’t pass?”
“I would have been forced to throw you into the ocean,” said Jean. “It would have been quite tragic.”
“Well, then, it’s a good thing we passed,” laughed Jeremy, giving Jean a fond look. He turned to Kevin. “Is there anything else you want to do?”
Kevin blinked at him. Was there supposed to be? “Like what?”
Jeremy shrugged. “I don’t know. We could—build a sandcastle? Or—bury each other in the sand?”
“That sounds very uncomfortable,” said Jean with a frown.
“Yeah, it is,” Jeremy laughed. “But it’s also something a lot of college dudes do. I didn’t think either of you would want to do it, really. It’s just—I wanted you to know it’s an option.”
“Thank you,” said Kevin. A rush of emotion was threatening to take over, and he wanted to say what he needed to say before the wave broke. “You’re really good at that—at making sure we have the chance to do things we might have missed out on. And letting us decide whether we want to do them for ourselves.”
Jeremy shook his head. “It’s the least I could do.”
“I assure you, it is not,” said Jean. “Most people in our lives have done markedly less.”
“They should’ve done more,” said Jeremy stubbornly.
“That doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate you for what you’ve done,” said Kevin. “It matters.”
“Good,” said Jeremy. “So do you.” He took a breath. “All right, so, is there anything else you’d like to do? And remember, at the beach, just sitting here in the sand counts as doing something.”
“So you are really asking if we are ready to leave,” said Jean.
“I guess so,” said Jeremy. “But you don’t have to be! And it’s not like this has to be the last time we come to the beach. We can definitely come back. You, especially, Jean—we can come back whenever you’d like.”
Jean paused. “Do we have to come back?”
“What?”
“Are there beach things that we have not done that you will want to make us come back and do?”
“No, of course not,” said Jeremy. “Wait, do you feel like I made you come today? Because I definitely didn’t mean to. I guess I was a little pushy, but you could’ve told me no if you didn’t want to do this.”
Jean reached over and took Jeremy’s hand. “I am very happy that you took us to the beach. It is a good experience for us to have had, and it was a very fun day.” He glanced at Kevin. “I am also quite sure I speak for both of us when I say we are extremely ready to leave.”
“We really did enjoy it,” said Kevin quickly. “Being out in the ocean was cool. And the shells were neat.”
“But now that we’ve done it,” said Jean, “we see no need to do it again for a very long time. Maybe ever.”
“I don’t know about ever,” said Kevin. “Just—not for a while.”
“If I ever lose the sensation that there is sand somewhere on my body, I will consider coming back to the beach,” said Jean.
Jeremy laughed. “Okay, okay, I get it! I should’ve known the two of you wouldn’t be beach bums.”
“You’re not disappointed that we don’t like the beach?” asked Kevin anxiously.
“No way,” said Jeremy. “I’m just happy you were willing to give it a try!”
“I think it is good for us,” said Jean. “Trying new things.”
“Maybe we can make that something we do more regularly,” said Jeremy. “Trying new things.”
Kevin grimaced. “I don’t know if we need to go that far.”
“Not just for the two of you,” said Jeremy. “We should try things that are new for me, too.”
It seemed rude to refuse, and Kevin didn’t want to be rude—not to Jeremy, at least. And he was probably right. “I guess it can be good to go outside your comfort zone,” he said slowly. “Occasionally.”
“Yes,” Jean agreed, nodding. “Occasionally is good.”
“I’ll take it!” said Jeremy, grinning. “All right, let’s get packed up and back to the car.”
Kevin frowned. “We’re going to get sand in it.”
Jeremy shrugged. “Probably, yeah. I’ll just vacuum it out later. That’s what I usually do.”
“And that actually works?” asked Jean skeptically.
“It’s sand, not glitter,” said Jeremy as he closed the umbrella. “It may get everywhere, but it’s usually not too hard to get rid of.”
“If you say so,” said Kevin. His trip to California would be over soon, anyway; Jeremy and Jean would be left to deal with any sandy remnants in the car.
Jeremy pulled the umbrella up out of the sand and gave one last look around the beach. “Okay, ready to go?”
Kevin and Jean nodded. “Very much yes,” said Jean.
“We really did have a good time,” said Kevin.
“I’m glad,” said Jeremy. “I really didn’t expect it to be your new favorite thing—for either of you—but when I found out you’d never been, I just had to take you out here, at least once. Besides, I never pass up an opportunity to orchestrate a beach day.”
Kevin and Jean exchanged a slightly guilty glance. “If you want us to come with you again, we will,” said Jean. “I do not want you to spend less time doing something you love just because we are not particularly fond of it.”
“Don’t worry,” said Jeremy. “I usually come with Laila and Alvarez anyway. Actually, they’ll probably be annoyed I didn’t invite them along this time.”
“All right,” said Jean, looking at Kevin. “There is officially no need for us to be here.” Without another word, he started for the car. Jeremy and Kevin followed, laughing.
Just before he stepped off the sand and into the parking lot, Kevin paused and looked back, taking in the curve of the beach and the rolling waves of the ocean. It may not be his favorite place, but he did understand the appeal. There was something soothing about it.
“You coming, Kev?” asked Jeremy, a few steps ahead. Jean was already waiting at the car.
“Yeah,” said Kevin, turning away from the beach and catching up with Jeremy. “Thanks again, for sharing this with us.”
“Of course,” said Jeremy. “Everyone should have a good day at the beach.”
And it had been a good day—a very good one.