Chapter Text
The topic of the quarry’s unbelievably terrifying events never really wore out among the group, but it did sizzle out when they had discussed every bit and detail. After on countless reunions everyone from the squad had their say, the hang-outs that felt like group therapy sessions started to get that fine casual feel back again.
Life was finding its way to get back to the flow, and the odd metamorphosis affected everyone differently. It was still difficult to keep up with its pace and get used to ‘normalness’, but they found their ways to channel the energy in things. Abigail drew noticeably more often, ranting her spent emotions on paper (and ending up with a rather concerned boyfriend Nick who had a serious talk or two about if she was *really* feeling okay, Abi always found it cute, trying to explain this was just her way of letting the pressure built up go), Emma profited off of the storytime series that took off on her chanel, Ryan had a podcast that worked fantastically with the gained attention and Ryan finally got back to his hobbies, having little to no time to spent nights awake thinking of werewolves.
Kaitlyn was just seemingly tough, Jacob,- a bit too much of an airhead to still process all of the summer properly.
Somewhere during the events leading up to their potential deaths, Ryan had unintentionally developed the art of finding the good in things that merely gave him a chance to do so. He could barely remember their summer holiday as something fun, however almost becoming Silas’ dinner had brought him closest to reaching for one of his most desired future plans, - leading his own podcast.
Everything before the sudden turn of events that nearly cost him his life, appeared as stupid excuses to hold him back. Everything he was interested in was already talked about, he was *awful* at verbally expressing himself to connect with the listeners, Dylan would probably find it silly… Wait, what does Dylan have to do with all this again?
Sat in the café he profusely hung out at for the discount AND his buddy working there, Ryan had spent the last hour going over the cluster of memories in his head instead of writing the script of a following episode. Not that he was less excited; It was just one of those rare moments of 5pm when the room was golden yellow, his coffee half way empty, the ice cubes melted in and dissolving, hearing Dylan in the distance hanging around with other employees, still mega-focused, like the loyal worker he was.
He looked back at the laptop screen after overhearing (and totally eavesdropping) a joke Dylan was telling, cracking up before he could get to the punchline and spreading his infectious laugh to the confused colleagues sat nearby, tired, at the end of the day. Embarrassed of Dylan’s effortless ability to make him laugh, Ryan chuckled, pretending it was the laptop screen he’d been laughing at. *such a funny podcast episode script about looking death dead in the eyes*
Secretly, He was waiting to hear the footsteps of the ending shift approaching him. Which came as soon as the clock struck 6. Early end, on Friday. Ryan Continued being captivated with the 5 sentenced on the screen, sewing his lips shut to avoid looking suspiciously joyful to know who exactly was coming over to his table. They were friends, after all, it would have been weird. Right?
Wrong.
‘I’m let down with the lack of enthusiasm for my blessing presence,’ Dylan pulled a chair back with an unintentionally loud thud, sitting down with a snarky smile and just slightly dishevelled post-shift hairstyle.
‘Hey, you’ Ryan kept it simple, finishing on typing a sentence he had cut in half while transcending deep into his thoughts. He looked at Dylan, expectedly coming across the boy’s warm smile. ‘I’ll save the excitement for when we get to the party. Which I’m sure is exactly what you need after a long day at work’ he exclaimed, recalling they had to leave for Emma’s party in 5.
‘Well, not everyone is a quirky outcast with a famous podcast to take care of,’ Dylan rolled his eyes at him with a smile, ‘besides, it’s Emma’s birthday! I’m shocked that you’re insinuating skipping that, we survived so much, you don’t wanna die in her claws now!’
Ryan laughed, burying his face in both of his hands. Honestly, he would’ve much rather spent the rest of the evening walking around in a park to say goodbye to the remaining sunlight hiding away, not as much as dealing with drunk Jacob flirting with three people at the same time before meeting his involuntary doom of getting sick on one of their shoes. ‘I’m not insinuating anything, we’re going’ he reassured nevertheless, watching Dylan chuckle in clear disbelief as he grabbed his back, slowly closing down Ryan’s laptop.
They walked to the bus stop in comfortable silence. Ryan stole a glance or two of Dylan who was whistling a fun little melody of his current favourite song he had been obsessing over. Ryan was totally hooked on it too, not that he’d admit. And maybe that was one of the reasons why their match had failed. ‘opposites attract’ had been the biggest misconception Ryan had heard, disappointing. He recalled the night they finally took time to discuss their little situationship after getting back home from the camp, with the lack of answers and the ridiculous mass of questions.
‘That kiss, at the campfire…’ Dylan was gripping onto the sacred moment with his dear life.
‘It was just a game, Dylan. We got dared to do this,’ Ryan felt his entire body tensing up as he got stupidly defensive, regretting the words that were uncontrollably spilling out of him.
‘No, it was a dare that gave you a choice, and you chose me!’ Dylan sighed in frustration, being met with silence as he took that as a hint to continue, ‘You seemed so into it at first and then boom, you spend a few hours adventuring with that girl and make me feel like I blew it.’ He shook his head in disbelief.
‘That girl? Are we bringing Laura into this now?’
‘No, we’re trying to go over every possible reason why you neglected our blossoming relationship like that!’ Dylan snapped his fingers, leaning back into the chair. ‘You can’t act like I’m making this shit up, man’
‘I’m not- Hey, I’m trying not to do that. But I’m not sure if I can reciprocate what you’re asking from me right now’
‘You don’t even know what I want..?’ Dylan squinted his eyes, looking impossibly lost.
‘I know what you deserve’ Ryan blurted out, out of nowhere, but still honest. ‘and it’s definitely not someone who doesn’t have their mind made up on who they are or, what they want.’
‘Ryan, I’m not asking for a diamond engagement ring’ Dylan exclaimed, looking everywhere but at him, ‘is that just some kind of a pity excuse to avoid telling me you just played me throughout all this?’
‘Say anything but that.’ Ryan responded immediately, ‘Whatever was between you and I was real. I just can’t seem to figure out what it was, and it’s crucial to me to be a hundred percent sure of everything before I take a step forward. And I’m just not in that place mentally or physically at the moment’
Dylan looked bewildered, probably more confused than angry or annoyed at this point. He took good three minutes to process all of it as Ryan waited, waited for him to continue arguing and somehow convince the beast in him to take the fucking chance. But Dylan’s body relaxed more and more as he let everything sink in in order. That’s when Ryan felt he was done fighting for what was so damn tricky to get and honestly, he couldn’t blame Dylan. Hell, his own patience probably would have run out way sooner.
‘Let’s just stay friends for now, yeah?’ he suggested, every word stinging and rolling off of his tongue unnaturally.
‘Whatever floats your boat, dude’ Dylan shrugged, getting up. He was being genuine, and that scared Ryan more than it comforted him. The fact that he was so okay with obeying his disapproval set his insides on fire, but it would only be unfair to Dylan to get mad at him for his own mistake. Ryan was furious. Not at Dylan, not at anyone else, but himself. So he chose to hide away in his comfortable cocoon of silence, letting Dylan walk away.
And subconsciously counting it as one of the biggest regrets that had ever torn his heart apart.