Work Text:
The moment the question was asked, Soobin’s mind was saturated with melodic giggles; sharp eyes softened by laughter; the most caring heart, talented mind, and overall wonderful soul. Not even realizing, he grew noticeably silent. Head on a different planet, a far away and serene look settled over his features.
The fan patiently waiting on the other side of the screen soon grew uncomfortable in the quiet and cleared her throat, pulling Soobin from his reverie. He took in her eager expression, clearly excited to hear his answer to the question she just asked that unknowingly tied what felt like another fifty pound brick to Soobin’s ankles. With a heavy heart, he knew he couldn’t tell her the full truth. His truth.
He couldn’t say that the type of person he sees himself marrying is actually sitting two seats down from him in the shape of his best friend, soulmate, and boyfriend of two years, also on his own fan call.
But he had to say something. And Soobin hates lying, so he stuttered out a form of the truth, “Uh… But I… I don’t know what the future holds, but I don’t want to get married.”
To a woman was the part he left out.
It wasn’t technically a lie. If was impossible for him to marry Yeonjun, which for the time being it was - seeing how gay marriage is not legal in Korea, then he didn’t want to get married at all.
Soobin watched the MOA deflate, muttering a quiet, “Oh. I see,” before promptly changing topics. She hadn’t expected that answer. Had thought she would be gifted with a playful, flirty line about how he would hope to marry someone like her, that would no doubt circulate the internet like wild fire.
But for some reason, Soobin couldn’t bring himself to joke about things like that. Not when he alone had the honor of holding Yeonjun’s heart in his hands, and Yeonjun in tandem held his. Not when he was so deeply in love that it physically pained him to even try to imagine a life married to someone who wasn’t his Yeonjun. He was his forever, Soobin was certain of that.
So no, he wouldn’t flirt using a serious matter like marriage when it was something he so desperately wanted with the love of his life, but was so far out of his reach.
Soobin spent the rest of his fan calls putting on a giggly, happy show for MOA, pushing down the hollow feeling residing in his chest. He hadn’t realized this would ever be such a sore subject for him.
When he had finally finished his last call, Soobin was exhausted and desperately needed to drag his ass into the shower to cleanse himself of the icky feeling crawling all over his skin.
He turned to watch Yeonjun finish up his last call with a clingy fan that wouldn’t let him hang up, till finally the staff had to intervene. Yeonjun puffed out a sigh tinged with guilt and a hint of relief, then turned and met Soobin’s gaze. Home.
It only took a moment for the energy in the room to shift, and for electricity to fill the air. Every time Soobin looks into Yeonjun’s eyes this happens. His whole world stops. You would think that gets old, but Soobin is addicted to that feeling.
Soobin is then blessed with his favorite sight in the world, Yeonjun’s smile. It had only been an hour and a half since their last break time and they were only separated by a few meters, but Soobin drank in the view of his lover like he had been crawling through the Sahara on his hands and knees for weeks, and had just found the Nile. Tempestuous and undulating, but oh so crystalline and unfathomable. Holy.
You could say Soobin could write sonnets about Yeonjun. Wax poetic till he runs out of words. They may be young, but they both know what they have. What they have is rare, unimaginable to most. But it makes sense. Their love was inevitable. It’s powerful. Unending.
Yeonjun could sense some sort of mood on Soobin. He had a look on his face after the fan sign that he couldn’t quite place. His eyes still held the almost tangible love that they always did, but they were swimming with melancholy. Almost wistful. They would no doubt discuss whatever was on his mind once they were both fed and showered, curled up in Yeonjun’s (read: their) bed. For the moment, he would have to accept being in the dark, and simply allow himself to be wrapped in Soobin’s arms in a silent and secure hug.
Yeonjun sighed, melting into Soobin’s embrace, loving the way the younger man completely engulfed his own smaller frame. Yeonjun was positive that Soobin could end all wars and heal all wounds, physical and emotional, with his hugs. But he reluctantly let go as he heard the younger members telling them to “Get a room,” (Beomgyu) and “Come on hyungs, the car is here!” (Huening Kai).
Yeonjun puzzle-pieced his and Soobin’s fingers together, and they followed the kids, hand in hand, out of the room and down to where their driver waited at the back entrance that is inaccessible to all non-employees.
* * * * *
Yeonjun, filled to the brim with ramen and freshly cleaned like a newborn baby, clambered into his bed, flopping face first into his fluffy pillows and letting out a groan of exhaustion.
Soobin was hot on his tail, chuckling at his boyfriend’s actions before asking, “Hyung, is it alright if I sleep in here with you?”
Yeonjun sent him the most dead-pan look he could muster, before bursting into a fit of giggles (the very giggles that have Soobin in a chokehold). “Soobinie, you ask me that every night. The answer is never going to change. In fact, I don’t know why you still insist on having separate rooms,” Yeonjun chattered as he slid himself under the covers before holding up the opposite side for Soobin to settle under next to him. “We both know that Odi has full reign of your old room, so just give up and call this our room.”
The pair of them laid on their sides, looking at each other with radiant smiles on their faces. Soobin closed the gap between them, placing a soft kiss on Yeonjun’s lips. “Okay hyung,” he whispered into the kiss, “Our room.”
Yeonjun pecked him one, two, three more times before he pulled back and grinned. “Good,” he started, “Now are you going to tell me what had you in such a weird mood after the fan sign?” Yeonjun wiggled around till he was comfortable on his pillow, all the while staring at Soobin expectantly.
Soobin sighed. Of course Yeonjun had noticed. He was dumb for even thinking something could’ve slipped past his observant boyfriend. Accepting his fate, Soobin rolled onto his back. He stared up at the ceiling as he considered his words carefully.
“Do you want to get married?”
A choked sound came from Yeonjun before he let out a laugh, “Soobin, you just officially moved into my room a second ago, and you already want to marry me?”
Soobin wasn’t laughing. He turned his head, and looked into Yeonjun’s eyes.
“Of course I want to marry you.”
Yeonjun’s laughter subsided. His heart fluttered in his chest with anticipation, but he stayed silent, waiting for Soobin to continue.
“Today a MOA asked me what kind of person I want to get married to. She wanted me to play along, but my heart won’t even let me pretend I would marry someone that isn’t you. So I had to tell her that I don’t want to get married, and I felt that old, ever present wound that it’s impossible to legally marry you rip back open. And it hurts. ”
Soobin’s eyes were pooling at this point, and Yeonjun was struggling to choke down his own tears. He slid closer to his boyfriend and pulled him close so that Soobin’s head rested right above Yeonjun’s heart that was beating steadily for him.
“It hurt so much to tell her that,” Soobin continued through this quiet cries, “Because I do, hyung. I want to marry you. I want to be your husband, and for you to be mine.”
Soobin was fully sobbing, soaking the shirt beneath his cheek. Yeonjun let his tears begin to fall. He understood what Soobin was saying in a way that no one else could. He wanted everything Soobin had just laid out for him. He wanted to start a life with Soobin. He wanted to have a house together. To start their own little family with a few cats. Maybe even adopt a kid together one day. Yeonjun would be lying if he said those thoughts hadn’t clouded his mind almost every time he looked at Soobin.
Without thinking anymore, Yeonjun pulled them up until they were sitting cross-legged on the bed, facing each other. He reached out and clutched Soobin’s hands like they were a lifeline. “Soobin, I want that with you. I want everything with you. I want to be your husband.”
Yeonjun paused his speech to look around as Soobin’s sniffles slowed and quieted, not fully halting. He watched as Yeonjun rolled off of their bed and ran to the desk, grabbing tape and a notebook from which he ripped out a single sheet.
Yeonjun returned to Soobin’s side, not yet sitting down next to him, as he tore two long strips of paper from the sheet.
Soobin’s eyes reflooded with tears as he watched Yeonjun drop to his knee in front of him.
“I promise this is just a placeholder till I can get to the store tomorrow, but Soobin, please. Please marry me. Right now. From here on out, be my husband, because I can’t imagine a world without us side by side. I can’t imagine a day without your love. And the moment that Korea pulls it’s head out of it’s ass and realizes that this is beautiful, true love, and allows people like us to get married, I’m going to make this legal,” Yeonjun’s tears were flowing as freely as Soobin’s.
“I’ll make it legal. But it will already be real. This is real, and I am really asking you to be my husband. Starting now.”
Soobin’s lips were on his as soon as he finished speaking. Yeonjun could feel their tears between their lips, but he couldn’t care less. All he could focus on was kissing Soobin. On kissing his husband.
The paper rings taped onto their fingers brushed together as their hands stayed clasped for the entirety of the night.
Love was whispered between them as they worshiped each other’s bodies, the exhaustion of their day long forgotten. There was nothing in their minds but joy and fulfillment. Love and love and more love. They woke up in the morning still bare and tangled together, their rings serving as a reminder of their first beautiful night as husbands.
Soobin and Yeonjun may have to wait to be able to make their marriage legal, but it’s as real as any other marriage, and far more beautiful.
Epilogue:
“MARRIED?”
Beomgyu’s screech could probably be heard around the entire apartment complex. The shock on his face was evident as he took in the view of his hyung’s newly purchased, matching silver wedding bands that sat proudly on their ring fingers. Taehyun seemed far less surprised than his boyfriend, not even looking up from his phone as he grumbled, “Yeah. We share a wall, fuckers.”
His complaints about his sleepless night were drowned out by an ecstatic squeal from Kai. The overgrown puppy rushed to the new husbands and gathered them in a hug, “OH THAT’S BEAUTIFUL HYUNGS! We are so happy for you!” Beomgyu quickly joined the warm embrace, and even the sleep-deprived middle child managed a smile and stood to wrap his arms around the rest of the group.
“Hyung, you know this makes Odi your step-son, right?”